Lady Elizabeth held her breath as Ciel's mansion came into view. She normally wouldn't have been nervous-the days she spent with her betrothed were the highlights of her life-but tonight was different. Lizzy had spent hours getting ready-Paula putting her hair up, lacing the blonde locks with pearls and tiny blue roses the color of Ciel's diamond ring, the long-anticipated arrival of the custom-made deep green dress from Paris, the agony of donning her first corset (she was still adjusting)-for tonight she had to be beautiful. It was Lizzy's thirteenth birthday, and the day that her and Ciel's engagement was to be renewed. Lizzy had loved Ciel for as long as she could remember, but her fiancé was moody and private-even more so since his parents were killed in the fire that destroyed the family home. He almost never displayed his true feelings, as more often than not their interactions left Lizzy upset and confused. Three times since the fire, Ciel had disappeared, supposedly dead, only to return to the estate months later. Lizzy liked to believe she had matured into a more serious and independent young lady through her third experience as a widow. She longed to show Ciel that she was no longer the excitable, spoiled, naïve child she had been at their last meeting. Ciel could easily break off their engagement tonight. One word, and Lizzy would never see him again. Losing Ciel the first three times had been painful enough. Lizzy didn't think she could live after losing him once more.
Mey-Rin, Ciel's hapless but charming maid, opened the carriage door for Lizzy. "I'll get the bags for you, mila-whoa-oa!" Suitcases, bags and hatboxes went flying. Lizzy couldn't be bothered with this, however. She simply had to see Ciel before her racing heart rent itself in two. Beginning to run, Lizzy hastily slowed herself, remembering that she must remain a lady.
"Lady Elizabeth!" It was Finny, the gardener. "I can't wait for the ball tonight! Sebastian said he'll even let us servants come, as long as we don't stir up any trouble!" Lizzy nodded at the blond boy in a stately manner, trying hard to reject the tears that came as she turned away from him. Ciel's servants had always been friendly to Lizzy during her visits, and she hated being curt to Finny and Mey-Rin. She feared, though, that Ciel would want to break up with her even more if she were caught sullying her position by befriending those of a lower class. Taking as deep of a breath as was possible while wearing a corset, Lizzy reached for the monstrous knocker, but before her dainty lace glove could graze the metal, the door was opened by Ciel's butler, Sebastian. "Good evening, my lady," he said, bowing courteously and ushering her in. "Happy birthday and welcome. You've arrived before any of our guests, so please make yourself at home." He took her coat and ascended the great staircase.
Lizzy heaved a sigh. The Phantomhive manor was a true work of art. She had always thought, however, that it lacked life. It was quite a forbidding interior-fitting for one with such a dark history. More than anything, Lizzy wanted Ciel to find happiness. Perhaps this was the reason the dark and stoic décor vexed her so. "What could be taking Paula so long?" she thought. "Probably chatting it up with Mey-Rin about Sebastian's delightful rear end." This was for the best-the last thing Lizzy needed was for her lady's maid to embarrass her on this most fateful night.
Ciel appeared at the head of the staircase, clad in black satin from head to toe, leaning on a decorated cane. He was a vision. Lizzy's world stopped short. She wanted to feel him, to make certain he was, in fact, living. Like the last time...
~three months earlier~
The great manor was haunted. A chill rested in Lizzy's bones as she remembered Ciel. He had always come back before. Her Ciel always returned to his mansion-but not this time. "Stay away from there," Paula urged. "It'll hurt more if you go there." So Lizzy remained at home, where each hour in a world without Ciel was like death.
She was called to the Phantomhive estate, for a "party," Tanaka had explained over the phone. Paula forced her to attend. "You need to get back out into the world; wear some color for a change. You used to love this pink frock. Would you like me to fix your hair in pigtails, my Lady?" Elizabeth whirled to face her maid, her doll-like face distorted in anger and pain. Yet, she couldn't find the energy to raise her voice. "Very well, Paula." I'll feel like an overdone china doll, but do as you see fit." Lovely Paula, the most loyal maid a spoiled twelve-year-old could ask for. Lizzy wished her position would allow them to be friends.
The manor was lifeless, but the servants greeted Lizzy warmly . "There's a surprise for you inside, yes there is!' Mey-Rin's glasses sparkled as though they had a life and soul of their own. "A big surprise!" Finny piped up. "Go in and see."
Paula seemed convinced. "I wonder what it could be, my Lady?" Her eyes were wide, glowing with childlike curiosity. Elizabeth was nonplussed. "Probably the mansion is clean for once." She reached for the door handle, but it opened before she could touch it, and there stood Sebastian, smiling down at her. She blinked, shook her head violently, trying to dispel the impossible image. Sebastian had disappeared with Ciel.
"Sebastian...?" Lizzy's voice faltered. Sebastian stepped aside to reveal a face and form Lizzy had thought she would never see again.
The room went blurry, the air grew cold, Lizzy stumbled backwards, her breath uneven. She heard Ciel's words as though they came to her from another universe, loud and unfocused. "I faked it, Lizzy. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth, darling..."
~end flashback~
She jerked herself back to the present, to her Ciel standing at the top of the staircase, looking like a dark angel. He took her breath away. Sebastian's gentle voice returned her to reality. "Lady Elizabeth, my young Master would like to share tea with you in the formal garden before the guests arrive. Will you oblige?" Nodding vaguely, Lizzy watched in a daze as Ciel descended the stairs. He offered her his arm, and they walked to the garden in silence.
At the elegantly set table, Ciel leaned into his fiancée, speaking softly. "Lizzy...are you quite all right?"
Elizabeth started. Had she done something wrong? What if he was upset with her? "Y-yes, Ciel." She nodded politely. "I'm just fine, thank you. And you? You seem in fine health, and the estate looks impeccable. Finnian has been working hard." Lizzy forced a smile, but inside she was churning. "I do hope I said it right," she thought frantically. "At least, I think I said it exactly the way I rehearsed with Paula. Ciel must see me as a grown-up lady so that he will still have me as his wife!"
Ciel chuckled and put a hand on hers. "Elizabeth, we've been close since birth. Such idle small-talk isn't necessary. Now, what's on your mind? You've been acting...different, all morning. It's like something is troubling you, yet you're afraid to open up to me. You're not nervous for tonight, are you?"
Lizzy's long eyelashes batted back the tears that came against her will. If she spoke, she would break down. But her beloved's gaze was so penetrating, tracing her heart, unable to find its way inside. He was concerned about her. He thought her weak. Lizzy couldn't stay silent any longer. She was the girl with the ever-active mouth, after all. She buried her face in her gloves and let the despised tears flow. "I just wanted to be a grown-up lady so that you would still take me as your wife! But I suppose I'll always be nothing but an annoying little girl to you." It was shameful to finally speak her feelings aloud. She fled, not even wanting to see Ciel's expression.
Paula followed her into the lavish guest suite and drew her into a right embrace. Lizzy succumbed to a fresh wave of silent sobs. "Ciel will never want to marry me now," she wailed. "He'll call off the engagement and I'll never see him again!"
"Now, my Lady, don't lose hope!" Paula knelt and laid her hands on Lizzy's delicate shoulders. "The young Lord is really very fond of you, and you will make a wonderful wife for him!" Lizzy broke from her and turned away. "You just don't get it, Paula. I love Ciel! And I want to be more than just a good wife. I want to be a wife that he will love and cherish!" She yanked at her sash, trying unsuccessfully to untie the perfect bow. Paula rushed to help her. "Why are you undressing, my Lady? You look so beautiful!"
"I'm not going to the ball tonight. I don't want to face Ciel. And this infernal corset is hurting me."
Paula sighed and undressed the distraught girl until Lizzy was left in nothing but her slip. She climbed into the enormous bed, still sobbing, and eventually fell asleep.
Hours later, Paula shook her small body gently, waking her from a sound sleep. "My Lady?" She spoke softly. "They'll all be wondering where you are. Are you certain you don't want to attend the ball?" Lizzy rolled away from Paula and closed her eyes. "No, Paula. I can't go. You know I can't."
Her lady's maid sighed sadly. "All right, then. I'll go and tell Lord Ciel that you're sick and won't be in attendance. How does that sound?"
"Tell him anything. He won't care anyway."
"Will you be quite all right here alone?"
"Yes, of course, Paula." Lizzy was slightly impatient.
"All right then, my Lady. I'll be but a minute." She left the room.
Now completely alone, Lizzy wept until she fell asleep once more.
A warm hand stroked her pale face, and another one held her hand. "C-Ciel?" Her large green eyes opened, bloodshot from tears, and gazed into her beloved's deep blue eye, the one not covered by the black patch.
"Yes, Lizzy, it's me." Ciel tucked back a lock of his fiancée's golden hair. "Are you feeling all right?"
Lizzy tried to nod, but a silent sob escaped her mouth before she could move. It was a relief to see him. "What about the ball?"
"I cancelled the ball and sent the guests home. There wasn't any point in it once the most important guest fell ill, after all." His warm, sweet voice was a balm to Lizzy's heart. "Would you like some herbal tea? It should help with your fever."
"I have a...fever?" Lizzy hadn't thought she was really sick.
"Yes, dear. We have a doctor in the drawing room who saw you while you were sleeping. He said you'll be all right, but should stay in bed and be carefully looked after." He rested a strong hand on her back and helped her to a sitting position, then lifted a teacup to her lips.
"Ciel?"
"Yes, dearest?"
"I love you."
Ciel paused, his solemn face brightening. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then gazed into her eyes, her head in both of his hands. "I love you too, Elizabeth. I've always loved you, and I know I rarely show it, and I'm sorry. I want you to be my wife."
Lizzy's eyes filled with tears, a smile transforming her lovely face. She threw her arms around Ciel and wept with joy. "I thought...I thought that you would break off the engagement because I wasn't serious enough! That's why I didn't come to the ball. I just couldn't lose you again!"
The young earl pressed the girl's face into his shoulder and held her, stroking her hair. "I promise you, Lizzy," he said, his face quivering with determination, "that I will never leave you alone again. I will always be by your side, to support and protect you. You are the apple of my eye."
The two sat this way for what seemed like an eternity, silently locked in each other's arms, all the pain and confusion of the last few years leaving them at last.
"My Lord?" Sebastian's knock at the door startled the two young nobles. Ciel loosened his grip on Lizzy, his brow furrowing in frustration. "What is it, Sebastian?"
The bulter opened the door a crack. "I simply thought Miss Elizabeth might require some soup, as she hasn't eaten a thing since teatime."
"We were in the middle of a..conversation." Ciel didn't bother to hide his frustration as Sebastian crossed the room to place the bowl of hot soup on Lizzy's bedside table. The able butler knew full well that his young Master had long been awaiting such an opportunity to express his love for his fiancée and to make up for his past cruelty toward her. Sebastian's piercing jealousy of the young Lady was not well concealed. "My apologies, young Master." The tall demon bowed gracefully. "Hot food and drinks are very beneficial to the ill. I was under the impression that you wished to protect your Lady's health." Ciel gritted his teeth, flushed and angry as his butler smirked and exited the room. He gripped Lizzy's tiny shoulders.
"Honestly, that complete-" he began, but stopped himself before the harsh, foul words could reach Lizzy's ears. "I'm sorry, dearest. Sebastian should have waited to be summoned before barging in like that."
Lizzy smiled. "Actually, I thought it rather sweet of him to think of me that way. Will Sebastian still be your butler when we're married?"
Ciel sighed. "I suppose so." It wasn't as if he could easily get rid of him now. Nothing about the contract had gone as planned, but now was not the time to dwell on past mistakes. Elizabeth deserved his undivided attention. Perhaps the soup would be good for her after all.
"Lizzy, darling, are you hun-" He turned to his beloved, only to find her sound asleep, still propped up against the mountain of pillows. She looked like a beautiful cherub, her mouth slightly open, her curls spilling over the white fabric, her face still flushed from the fever.
Ciel sighed. "Honestly, how can one fall asleep so quickly? You must have really worn yourself out with all that childish crying." He smiled, brushing away a stray eyelash that had fallen onto Lizzy's face, then moved next to her, resting his head on hers, his arms around her delicate body.
Falling asleep to the rhythm of his fiancée's heartbeat, the young earl was struck with a staggering realization: "That must be the first time I've smiled since that day..."
It was close to midnight, and a slanting beam of moonlight illuminated the sleeping couple. Sebastian entered and stood at the foot of the bed, smirking amusedly. "Well now, young Master, this is a surprising turn of events. I thought you despised the young Lady."
Lizzy stirred in her sleep, her shallow breathing muffled by Ciel's doublet. The young Master's arms tightened around her.
Sebastian sighed. "Oh, well. I never thought I'd lose you to Lady Elizabeth. Nevertheless, I shall continue to serve you, devoted in body and soul. I am, after all, one hell of a butler."
~E•N•D~