There Came a Thought

It's just a small skirmish. Four Crystal Gems against six Homeworld soldiers. Not a big deal. They'd been in worse situations, and Garnet knows they will be again.

But then there's an enemy Topaz. "Come on," she says. "Give up. We outnumber you, even counting the fusion freak."

Another Topaz looks right at Garnet, and sneers. "Can't wait to break those two in half."

And everything shifts.

oOo

Garnet's back in the Sky Arena.

Everyone's closing in, they want to pull her apart, they want to smash her into pieces. Ruby's on her knees, resigned, Sapphire's reaching for her, but she's too far away—

Blue Diamond looms over them, picks Ruby up, and closes her fist-

oOo

"Garnet, Garnet!"

Somebody's calling her, somebody's saying her name. She opens her eyes and it's Rose, face full of fear and compassion.

Garnet blinks around. The skirmish is over. Pearl's standing to the side, wary, sword in one hand, bubbled Topaz in another. Bismuth is openly staring. "What happened? You were just standing there."

"I…" Garnet begins, but she's not sure herself.

"Never mind," Rose says, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"We can't stay here," says Pearl. So the group sets off, and Garnet follows, trying to ignore the shadow of Blue Diamond hovering at the edge of her vision.

oOo

She keeps hearing things, seeing things— things which can't be there, which can't be real.

Maybe they're future visions, maybe they're not, but Garnet's not sure and that's what's terrifying.

oOo

She keeps thinking things, too, and she can't stop, she can't stop, she can't.

oOo

Garnet makes it as far as their garden sanctuary before she breaks apart. A flash of light, and the Ruby and Sapphire are on the ground, staring at each other.

"What?" says Rose, Bismuth and Pearl.

Sapphire and Ruby don't even notice. Something's passing between them, dark and unreadable. Ruby's face crumples. She stands, turns away, and runs full tilt out of the garden.

Sapphire buries her head in her hands, and cries tears which freeze instantly.

oOo

Ruby finds a tucked away cave. She paces and she cries and she punches the wall.

oOo

Sapphire sits where Ruby left her, and doesn't move, no matter what Rose says to her.

oOo

After some time— one Earth day? Two?— Pearl tracks Ruby down.

"Hello," says Pearl, carefully.

"Hey," Ruby says. She waves her in. Realises the last time she saw Pearl, as herself, they were enemies. Pushes the thought away.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just—" Ruby grunts. "Sapphire. She's so— amazing. And I don't get— I mean— what's she doing, with a Ruby like me?"

Pearls places a hand on Ruby's knee. "I understand."

oOo

"So how's our little ice sculpture doing?"

Sapphire turns to glare at Bismuth. It's the first time she's moved in days.

"Don't give me that look," says Bismuth easily. "You gonna tell me what's got you into this state?"

Sapphire looks around. The garden is empty, except for them. They're alone.

"I'm afraid," she whispers.

"Yeah? What of?"

"Of…" So much. But right now, more than anything… "That I scared Ruby away."

Bismuth leans back. Looks her over, appraising. "Maybe," says Bismuth. "But are you just gonna sit here, or are you gonna try and get her back?"

oOo

Halfway between the garden and the cave, the two groups meet up. Bismuth and Pearl spy each other through the trees, and slip away, melting into the forest.

Ruby and Sapphire continue on. They stop a few feet away from each other.

For a moment, they can't bear to come any closer. Then they see the pain on each other's faces. The desperation, the sorrow.

They rush forward. Embrace.

oOo

Words won't come, but movement does.

Hand in hand. Step by step. They're both trembling. Afraid of what will happen if they do this. More afraid of what will happen if they don't.

They fuse.

oOo

The thoughts come.

oOo

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I scared myself.

We scared each other.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

Rose said not to question this. But how can't I?

Maybe that Topaz was right. Maybe I am a freak.

I'm not .

Feels like it.

…

It was simpler before.

It was terrible.

Do you regret it?

No.

But it hurts.

We could stop.

No.

That wouldn't change anything, anyway. Homeworld wants us dead, Garnet or not.

I'm afraid. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you.

You won't. I'll stay with you, either way.

Not if you're shattered. If we're shattered.

We won't be.

We might be.

…true. But as Garnet, we're safer. We're stronger.

I… just wish there was someone here to explain it.

But there isn't. There's just me.

Just me. Just us.

Just Garnet.

It's okay. It's okay it's okay it's okay.

I'm here.

I'm here.

oOo

Night is falling in the garden. There's a rustle in the bushes. Out through the flowers and the thorns, comes Garnet.

"Well," says Bismuth. "Looks like our love birds are back."

Pearl tilts her head. She's relieved, of course, but… "You look different."

Garnet blinks. "Do I?"

Rose smiles at them. She vanishes into a nearby bramble patch, and pulls out a long sheet of metal. They'd 'liberated' it from a nearby construction site, to be forged by Bismuth into some weapon or other. For now though, it's smooth and reasonably shiny, enough to function as a mirror.

Garnet steps up to it, looks at her reflection. She's only caught glimpses of herself a handful of times in nearby ponds and lakes, but the changes are still immediately apparent. She has boots on both feet now. The patches in her dress and leggings are gone, her skirt no longer lopsided. The most striking difference is her hair. No longer patches of pink and blue, a single colour. Dark purple, bordering on black.

"Huh," Garnet says. She clasps her hands together. "I like it."

oOo

Author's Note: so. mindful education was an episode. and i'm dead.