Disclaimer: 'A Town Called Eureka' doesn't belong to me, and neither do the characters who live in said fictional town. Obviously.

A/N – Hello one and all, and welcome back t this little story of mine. Thank you so much for all your encouragement so far – I'm really enjoying writing this story at the moment, and I hope you're enjoying reading too. This chapter finally explores Carter's past, and I must say, I'm a little nervous with how it's turned out. If you can spare a minute or two, please let me know what you think. For now though, please read on…

~ Hurt and Hope ~

Part Six

"Well, Zoe's on her way," Jack told Allison with weary sigh as he made his way slowly back towards the couch. He'd made the call in private – well, as private as it could be in a house that listened in on everything he did - unsure exactly how his daughter would react. Of course, he needn't have worried. Zoe was a lot more mature than he'd been at that age. Hell, she was a lot more mature that he was now, at least most of the time…

"Okay," Allison replied with a nod as he shuffled back to the sofa and sat down. "You feeling okay, Carter? Any pain?"

Carter held his good hand to his ribs and tried to suppress a wince.

"I wouldn't mind some more of those painkillers you had me on yesterday," Jack tried, despite knowing full well that he couldn't have any. It beat answering the question honestly though. He didn't know why, but things between him and Allison had started to feel…off.

They hadn't really been on good terms for a while now, although neither had ever commented on their issues explicitly until the incident. Jack frowned to himself. It felt worse now though; or at least different. He was sure it had something to do with what she'd discovered about his past, but it was hard for him to put his finger on what it was exactly. Was it her? Was it him? Both of them?

As expected, in response to the painkillers suggestion, Allison just shook her head. "Afraid not, Carter. We need to let the drugs get fully out of your system before it's safe for you to take any more."

"Fine," he muttered, shifting slightly as he tried to fine a comfortable position on the couch. "Guess I'll have to soldier on then."

He'd known that already of course, but he had hoped she would be able to give his sometime to take the edge off, just enough so that he could hide the majority of his injuries from his daughter. He hated upsetting her.

"Does Zoe know?" Allison asked suddenly, almost as if the thought had made its way to her mouth without her knowledge.

Jack frowned. "About the injuries?"

Allison eyes dropped. "No…er, I was actually referring to the cause of your injuries."

Jack closed his mouth, his lips forming a thin line. She'd promised him she wouldn't make him talk.

"I'm guessing you're talking about the first time around?" he clarified carefully, heart beating loudly in his chest.

"Yes," she confirmed. "I said I wouldn't ask about details, and I won't, but…" She trailed off, then seemed to find her nerve again. "Have you ever…?"

"Of course I haven't talked about it with her," Jack replied angrily. A part of him knew the anger wasn't justified, but a larger part of him revelled in the feeling. He wanted to be angry, if only to avoid feeling anything else. "Why the hell would I do that?"

"Didn't she ever meet…?"

"Look, stop it," Jack interrupted, his anger bubbling just below the surface now. She'd told him that she wouldn't ask about his past, and yet here she was, probing like a second-rate shrink. Jack hated shrinks. He took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry, but you don't know what you're talking about. It's none of your business, okay?"

She seemed a little taken aback by his sudden outburst, but nodded anyway. "Of course. I'm sorry, Carter."

Jack just nodded, and then, in an attempt to find a distraction, reached for the TV remote. Hopefully there was a baseball game on somewhere…

At the same time, Allison sighed and reached for her reports. She'd clearly understood his not so subtle hint to back off, and was willing to give him some space. Not much, since she wasn't willing to leave him alone in the literal sense, but he would take what he could get.

Jack sighed and leaned back against the couch. A second-rate shrink would probably also say that he had major avoidance and anger issues, but he really hated shrinks.

Ten minutes later, as the T.V. played quietly to itself in the background, Carter glanced subtly over to Alison, who had given up on the reports and had started to read a book in the chair beside his couch with far more concentration than the cheap thriller should have demanded from her high IQ. Jack frowned and tried not to take it personally. She was avoiding any conversations with him, that much was clear – and he supposed he couldn't exactly blame her for that - but that wasn't what was really bothering him. Or at least, it wasn't the only thing that was bothering him…

No, it was the fact that even in spite of the fact that she clearly didn't think he was very good company at the moment – something he couldn't really argue with given how quickly he'd snapped at her earlier - she'd decided to stay with him anyway, and he couldn't for the life of him work out why.

Jack sighed deeply, grimacing slightly when the action pulled at his still healing ribs. He pulled his gaze back to the T.V. but his slightly erratic thoughts remained on Allison, and on whatever the hell was going on between the two of them. She knew more about him than he'd ever planned for her to know – for anyone to know – and yet she wasn't pushing him on it. Oh, she'd tried to probe earlier, but even though he'd shut that down quickly, he knew he couldn't really stop her if she wanted to know. And yet, she'd kept her word. She wasn't making him talk about it. In fact, she was now clearly pretending that she hadn't even brought it up in the first place.

It was starting to drive him crazy.

Jack frowned and stared at the T.V., his thoughts a million miles away. If she didn't want to pry into his past, why the hell was she still here?

Yes, he knew she was his friend, and yes, he knew she had a medical background and that she'd be more than qualified to deal with his injuries, but really…didn't she have anything better to do than babysit him?

Admittedly, Kelly hadn't been the best caregiver either, but Jack was used to looking after himself. And he'd literally been through all these injuries before, so it wasn't like he couldn't handle it.

He knew he could because he already had.

Carter forced his attention back to the T.V. once again. Was he a project to her maybe? Clearly she thought he was pathetic – she was doing anything but treat him normally at the minute, evidenced by the fact that in the last few minutes, she'd barely said one word to him, and her focus on her book had begun to border on slightly obsessive, and was almost one hundred percent fake.

Or maybe he was going through a medical curiosity that she wanted to study? He hadn't had any attacks for over a day now, but surely it was only a matter of time. The doc had told them to take him off the drugs that had been keeping the attacks at bay up until now. The next attack was expected any minute.

Jack sighed, and glanced at her again. He hated that he felt like this – like he didn't know her anymore. When had that happened? When had things changed?

His anger was growing again, and it only was partly down to Todd's ray gun thing. He was a big boy. If she wanted to be with Nathan instead of him, he could take it. He had taken it. He'd got over it already, or at least he would eventually. But he would be damned if he was going to let her pity him. More than anything, he hated pity. It made him feel weak. Pathetic. It made him feel like there was something wrong with him. That she thought that there was something wrong with him.

Before he even knew what he was doing, Jack began to talk.

"It was my stepdad," Carter began suddenly, his voice hoarse. He paused, waiting for her to look up from her book, then continued. "He was…rough with me. When I was a kid. That's where I got most of the injuries from." Jack swallowed. "From him."

Jack's heart was beating in his chest. What the hell was he doing? He'd wanted to show her that there was nothing to pity, but he was starting to doubt himself now that he'd begun to talk. What was he trying to prove to her?

"Carter, are you sure you want to be talking about this with me now?" Alison said. Clearly she'd read some of his reluctance on his face and decided that he needed protecting from himself.

Anger bubbled up in him again, and he forced himself on.

"My dad died when I was eight," Jack paused, but Alison clearly didn't dare speak. "He was a beat cop. He was on patrol one night, and some asshole he was chasing…" Jack shook his head. "Anyway, he was shot. He died. Over what tuned out to be a miniscule amount of heroin."

"Carter…I'm so sorry."

Jack held his hand up. It was easier to keep going now that he'd started. "Anyway, when he died, my mom kind of…checked out for a while. And my dad's old friend from high school, Frank, started coming round more and more. At first, he was nice. At first, he helped us."

She was focused completely on him now, but Jack couldn't read her face. Couldn't tell if she was sad for him – as a friend would be - or feeling pity for him. There was a difference, and he hated that he couldn't tell which side she fell on. He wanted to blame his injuries, Todd's damn weapon, anything, but he knew damn well that it was more likely that they'd just grown too far apart over the last few weeks to know each other well enough anymore.

"And then?" Alison asked quietly.

"And then he and my mom got together," Jack replied. "And I didn't like it. He was living with us within a week. And then suddenly he wasn't so nice."

Jack swallowed, but he knew he had to keep going. He needed to show her that whatever she'd already figured out about his past, he was okay now.

He was okay. He didn't need any pity. He definitely didn't need her to walk on eggshells around him.

He needed them to get back to normal.

"It started small," Jack continued. "He used to make comments. About my dad mostly. I think he was trying to get a rise out of me, you know…so that he had an excuse."

"An excuse to do what?" Alison asked. He briefly wondered if she'd ever done a psych rotation in med school…

"Hurt me," Jack replied bluntly.

"Carter…"

"It didn't take much," Jack told her. "The first time he hit me, I remember being so shocked that I didn't even cry. We were the only ones in the house, but I didn't even make a damn sound."

"God, Carter…" Alison said. He could see tears in her eyes, but he didn't understand why.

"The incidents weren't…frequent, exactly," Jack told her. "He didn't want my mom to know."

"And your sister?"

"He didn't hurt her," Jack told her quietly. "He liked her. It was just me he had a problem with."

"Why?" Alison asked. "You were just a kid."

Jack shrugged, but the action was anything but casual. "I looked like my dad. Turns out he didn't like my dad all that much after all. He just wanted to be with my mom but didn't have the balls to do anything about it until after my dad was dead." Jack scowled. "He was a coward."

"Was?" She asked. Jack almost smiled. Of course she'd picked up on that. They didn't call her a genius for nothing.

"He died about five years ago," Jack replied. "He was driving drunk and managed to wrap his truck around a tree. And no, I did not go to his funeral."

"I wouldn't have expected you to," Alison replied, a little bit of heat in her voice.

He wanted to tell her that she knew nothing about him, but that wasn't really true, he knew that. They might have grown apart, but she still knew him better than most people. That's what made it so frustrating that she kept taking the scientists' side over his. He wasn't an idiot. He knew how to do his damn job, so why the hell didn't she trust his judgement...?

"Carter…"

"I'm fine," he told her roughly. He clenched the fist on his right hand hard enough for the nails to dig into the skin.

"I wouldn't blame you if you weren't," she said quietly.

"I'm fine," he repeated. He paused to gather his thoughts. "Look, I get why you might be worried, but I'm not…screwed up about it. You can still trust me."

"I wasn't doubting that – "

"I wouldn't blame you if you were," he shot back at her.

"I wasn't," she repeated firmly. "I just…am I the only one you've ever told?"

Jack laughed, but it was a bitter sound. "No."

He wanted to tell her that she wasn't that special, but she was. He hated that she was.

"Carter…"

"I hated him, and I hated that part of my life," Jack told her. "It screwed me up for a long time, and I don't like talking about it, even now, but it…it doesn't affect me like it used to."

She kept quiet, perhaps sensing that he had more to say. Maybe she did understand him after all. Maybe their friendship wasn't as broken as he had first believed. He decided to take a leap and trust her like he would have done before the whole thing with Nathan had happened.

"Look, I got help," he said quietly. "When I found out Abby was pregnant with Zoe, I knew I had to. I just…I grew up with that asshole, and I was so scared that I was going to turn into him. And I couldn't let that happen. I told myself…I promised myself, that if I ever even thought about hurting my kid, I'd take my gun out and shoot myself."

"Carter…that's…"

"Yeah," he sighed, running a hand over his face. "Not exactly healthy. Abby pointed that out as well, when I told her. So I started seeing someone – a therapist – and it…helped. I wouldn't have let myself be alone with Zoe if it hadn't."

Even so, up until a couple of years ago, he'd always limited his contact with Zoe, and the reality of his old job was only part of the reason he'd missed so much of her growing up.

He probably would've resisted the idea of living alone with her in Eureka too – always worried about the conditioning buried deep at the back of his mind – but when Fargo had suggested a smart house, Carter had decided to give it a chance. At the end of the day, if he'd ever even looked like he was going to hurt her, he knew that S.A.R.A.H. would've stopped him. He hadn't actually thought he would– he couldn't imagine ever wanting to hurt Zoe – but it had been a relief to have a back-up in place.

"I mean, don't get me wrong," Carter said. "I've still got issues. I get nightmares from time to time, and I don't really talk to my sister very often."

"You don't really talk about her either," Allison said, although there was no accusation in her voice. Just curiosity.

"You've never met my sister but she's…flaky," Carter said. "She just kind of…floats through life." He frowned. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love her, but she's difficult to be around. She just does what she feels like doing – whatever her damn spirits tell her she should be doing – without really thinking about the consequences. And I know it's because as a kid, she wasn't like me. She could get away with anything, but when I…even if I'd done nothing wrong, I'd still be punished."

"That's…terrible," Allison said. "It must have been hard growing up like that. For both of you."

"She didn't know what was happening until I turned sixteen and she caught Frank beating on me," Carter sighed. "When she found out, she tried to help, tried to get me to come clean to our mom, but…"

"You resented her," Allison finished. "Your sister I mean."

"She didn't get it," Carter sighed. "She made it sound so easy, but it wasn't. Frank…he'd threatened to hurt them both if I told, and despite how often he lied, I believed him."

There didn't seem to be anything left to say after that. Carter could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest, but he felt…better. Lighter maybe.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Allison asked finally, breaking the silence. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but…"

He didn't want to tell her that he'd only starting talking because he'd been angry at her, so he decided to give her only part of the truth.

"You know anyway," Carter shrugged instead. "You're way too smart not to work it out based on my medical records. At least this way I have some control over it. And well…you're my friend. I do trust you, even if I'm not sure you always trust me."

"I'm sorry, Carter," Alison replied. And he could tell that she was. Not just for his past, but for the fact that this incident had forced it out of him. "I do…I do want to be your friend, okay?"

Jack let out a deep breath. It felt like a turning point, and Jack felt relief flush through him. Whatever was going on between then, suddenly it felt as if it could be fixed.

"Then don't tell anyone," he said, although he knew it was unnecessary. He could trust her. Still, he found himself continuing. "The town doesn't need to know that their Sheriff is screwed up from being beaten up by his step-father too many times as a kid – "

"Dad?" came a voice from the front door of his home. He hadn't heard it open.

He turned on the couch and came face to face with his daughter. He swallowed hard and tried to smile her, but one look in her eyes told him all he needed to know. She'd heard – if not everything - then definitely enough.

Jack closed his eyes, and tried to think of a way to explain his last comment. After a few seconds he realised he had nothing. He also realised that knowing Zoe, she wasn't going to let this go until she knew the rest. He was going to have to explain it all to her.

Dammit. He was going to have to tell her everything.

A/N – So what did you think? This was just a little interlude in the main plot of the story (I haven't forgotten about Jo and Fargo, I promise), but I hope you liked it all the same. I realise I'm pushing it a little with Carter's past, but the show really does leave it completely open, and I've chosen to take it in this direction because I find the idea interesting. I hope you agree? If so (or if not), please let me know. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time, however, and as always, thank you for reading!