May shatter upon impact

Chapter 1

~ Subaru, will you take me to see the white roses? ~

Subaru sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. His lungs throbbed painfully from the action, since his body didn't need the air, but the pain brought his frayed senses back into focus. He held himself still, trying his damnedest not to react. But there was a ripple of disgust, starting around his mouth and shuddering out until he clenched his fists tightly.

"Mm, what was that, Ayato?" Laito drawled from his leisurely position in an armchair.

"I said, Chichinashi's broken. Seems like she finally snapped."

Reiji looked up sharply from his book, but Ayato cut him off before he could voice his question. "She's not dead, dumbass."

The older vampire adjusted his glasses, frowning. "At least you remembered 'that persons' warning then. What happened? Did you push her too far?"

Ayato sneered, exposing his fangs for a moment before averting his gaze. "Tch, no. She was like that when I found her in her room."

"Ah~ who had her last then..." Laito wondered aloud, eyes straying to Kanato, who ignored him in favor of whispering lowly to Teddy.

The room fell into silence as the brothers eyed each other distrustfully. Subaru felt his fangs lengthen as an ache crept into his chest. The image of a woman in white flashed behind his eyes, and he quickly turned away, trying to hide his expression.

"Does it matter? This has been coming for awhile. I'm surprised she lasted for so long." A lazy voice drifted through the air. Subaru glanced over his shoulder to where Shuu lay sprawled out on the living room sofa. He was startled to find his elder brother's eye had slid open, and was now staring at him, as if sensing his turbulent emotions.

"Perhaps the 'good for nothing' has a point. I've sometimes wondered if she should have belonged to one of us exclusively." Reiji set his book down, reaching for a steaming cup of tea. Before he lifted the porcelain rim to his lips, he paused thoughtfully, adding; "Though I suppose if she's as far gone as you think she is, it makes no difference now."

"Can't you do something?" Ayato grumbled. Feeling the weight of his five brothers stares, he bristled and cleared his throat. "Not that I care, but prey that doesn't fight back is boring."

"Yes, if Yui-san ignores me, as she did earlier, I shall become cross. It's bad manners not to reply to someone, isn't it Teddy?" Kanato spoke up, voice airy even as he held the teddy-bear in his arms a little tighter. The material strained under the force of his embrace, as he whispered lowly; ''Yui-san was acting very odd, but quiet. Like a doll...''

Subaru remained silent. He remembered bruises in the form of finger prints on Yui's neck, and had figured it'd been Kanato's handiwork. But her body was a canvas for scars and marks belonging to each individual brother, so he'd had no cause to do anything about it. His own marks on her shoulders and collarbone were laid bare for all to see. He was no better than they were. She was not solely his prey, and never would be.

Something like bile rose in his throat, until it burned savagely under his tongue. He felt like clawing at his own neck he was so thirsty.

His eyes widened. Damn it, not now.

Fists trembled violently at his side, and unable to control himself any longer, Subaru stormed from the room, now uncaring if his brothers noticed.

As he walked away down an empty hallway, Reiji's calm voice grew distant behind him. "The mind isn't something that can be fixed easily. I'll examine her as best I can to gauge her mental state, but make no mistake, I'm not a psychologist. I can make her blends to calm her down and ease the stress of her body if she grows hysterical. However, if she truly is broken then only professional help will bring her back, if that."

Hysterical.

Subaru's eyes glazed over.

~ A woman teared at her hair. Wisps fell like snow onto a cold wooden floor, until they lay scattered in broken ribbons. ~

"And since none of us would hand her over to such a person, she will mostly likely remain as she is until she's incurable."

Those last words echo in the youngest Sakamaki's ears. Something drummed hard and fast in his mind. He gripped the handle to his room, crushing it under his hand as the door flung open. It slammed shut behind him once he was inside, but the sound went unnoticed as Subaru was swallowed by the heavy silence in his room.

His fists shook, and he let himself go.

In the back of his mind, Subaru dryly wondered why the servants even bothered trying to repair his room. He briefly thought himself a spoiled brat, but this only set his teeth on edge. Wood broke and snapped under his knuckles, the glass windows caved in, furniture crashed to the opposite wall, falling in a broken heap. He kicked over his coffin with enough force to dent it.

His breaths were ragged, wild, as red eyes stared unseeingly at the destruction around him. His pants began to slow, until his shoulders shook and fangs pierced his lips.

He grabbed his coffin and turned it over, yanking the lid up and stepping inside. Once it closed over his head, Subaru locked his mind away, trying to shut out everything. His body trembled as memories came to him in the form of nightmares.

Subaru wasn't sure how long he shut himself away for, it could've been hours or days. He finally opened his eyes, becoming aware of the dryness of his tongue. Cursing hoarsely, he sat up, pushing the lid aside and finding moonlight spilling over his room.

His fingers came up to lightly touch his neck, digging into pale flesh.

His throat burned too much to ignore this time.

"Fuck." He ran a hand through soft locks, and gripped the strands until his knuckles bled white. He could go into town and lurk around for prey. He knew this.

But...

Subaru swore once more, before finding himself standing in front of Yui's room.

A Sacrificial Bride going insane was about as commonplace as their deaths. Sometimes the brothers shared their prey, and that prey broke. Other times, the Bride belonged to just one brother, who had happened to take an interest in her, and she still shattered beyond repair.

Laito sometimes turned his Brides into familiars, and kept them in despair and constant longing for him. Reiji experimented on them until it sent them over the edge. Shuu ignored their plights or cries for help, and indulged his thirst whenever it was convenient. Ayato played with his until he grew bored with them.

Subaru had once snapped a Brides neck from using too much force. He could still remember what sound she'd made as her windpipe had caved in. Kanato made dolls from the Brides bodies and dressed them in beautiful wedding gowns, keeping them in immaculate condition. Others were thrown away like trash and forgotten.

So then...why was Yui any different? Why did it feel different to know that she'd broke, when countless others had come before her? She'd lasted longer than any other, but that wasn't it. Perhaps it was because she'd kept some semblance of purity alive in her heart, despite living in a house of dark, twisted beings.

Subaru stood still and tense outside her door. He couldn't hear anything from inside, but her scent called to him alluringly.

He was already irritated and vulnerable, and this pissed him off even more. It was his right to take her blood, he reminded himself. It shouldn't matter what state her mind was in. She was human, and therefore beneath him.

The door briefly fell away, until a tower stared back at him.

~ Subaru! You've returned! I missed you so much. Please, please don't leave my side again. I feel so frightened without you. What if he comes back?~

~ It's okay mother. I'll protect you from him, I promise. ~

"Well~ if it isn't my younger brother." Subaru turned when a silky voice reached his ears, finding Laito.

"Get lost." Subaru muttered automatically. It doesn't escape the older vampires notice that Subaru had placed himself between him and the door.

"How cruel Subaru-kun! I'm just here for a bit of Bitch-chan's blood, the same as you. We can share her if you like." Laito purred, his cheeks reddening.

Subaru's eyes narrowed. "Leave. Now." His teeth ground together.

Laito's green eyes appraised him silently, before he smiled evenly. "Alright, I admit, I'm here for more of a personal visit than just for blood." Subaru looked briefly surprised as he continued. "It's a little disheartening isn't it? To hear that she broke. I rather enjoyed her. Reiji examined her and confirmed it. He's not certain if it was caused by stress or trauma, as he found a nasty little injury at the back of her head. So sad. "

Subaru's chest tightened, until it almost constricted his body. At his shaken reaction, Laito just grinned, and dipped his hat to shadow his eyes. "I find it curious though, little brother, that you enjoyed her a little less than everyone else. True, you took her blood, but from what I can tell, you never indulged in her past that."

Something dark flashed dangerously in Subaru's eyes as Laito slowly smirked. "She's quite beautiful in the throes of the little death, you know."

A fist flew into the wall, making it crack upon impact. Laito smoothly stepped away and sighed lightly, feigning dismay. "Well brother, I guess I'll leave you to her, since you've had less than your fair share. Have fun~" He chuckled to himself and sauntered down the hallway, leaving Subaru alone once more.

He slowly removed his fist, noticing the cracks that spilled out of the indent like spiderwebs.

Agitation brimmed hotly under his skin. He shut his mind off from the images that plagued him, images he knew to be real, judging from the change in Yui's blood a month ago. Shaking his head and stifling the dread that rose up to claim him, he quickly opened the door.

It was completely silent in her room. Subaru blinked, wondering why he was unable to locate her immediately. He carefully nudged the door shut behind him. His eyes turned to the floor where a few drops of blood have been spilled. They reminded him of rose petals.

White hair hazed his vision, until he was blinded by another room. A strangled scream ripped through the air, raising the hairs on the back of Subaru's neck.

But there was only silence in Yui's room, and the scream is yet another memory he wishes to forget.

"Yui." He called out, voice rough and thick.

Large ornate windows that led out onto a balcony were spread open, inviting chill autumn air inside. Her room would've been bathed in darkness were in not for the light cast by the moon. Subaru stepped on something small, and he removed his foot, finding Yui's rosary, split into pieces. His brow furrowed. When he raised his eyes, he found her immediately, standing in front of a mirror.

She was incredibly still, unnaturally so for a human. The pallor of her skin resembled a corpses, and gave off a soft glow in the moonlight. When he caught sight of her reflection, he stopped.

Her eyes, that had once been a gentle, rose-pink color, were now dull and lifeless. She didn't seem aware he was behind her, though his reflection stared at hers in the mirror.

Subaru waited for her to turn around and abruptly burst into a fit of rage, for her to yell, scream and claw at him as his mother had. But she didn't. She just stayed sill, the slight breeze from the open window swayed her nightgown.

"Yui, look at me." He said, a little desperately this time.

When she still didn't react, his fingers latched onto her arm. He forcefully turned her to him, until he was right in her face. Her eyes were twin pools of murky shadow, senseless, as if she were drugged. She looked like one of Kanato's dolls.

Subaru noticed her shaking, but looking down, he found it was from his own hands on her upper arms making her tremble. His eyes strayed to her neck, where angry looking bite marks and dried blood caked her skin.

Ayato. He swallowed thickly, a tightness in his throat.

"Damn it." He muttered quietly, bowing his head. "Why...why didn't you just leave when I told you to?"

Yui blinked slowly in response, not seeming to register anything said.

Subaru's temper flared and boiled over. He pulled her closer, shaking her roughly by the shoulders. "Why the hell didn't you listen! You're always so damn stupid! The hell is wrong with you?"

When he felt his fingers dig in, Subaru stopped himself, breathing heavily. He slowly peeled his hands away, revealing red marks that branded her porcelain skin. Subaru stepped away shakily, gritting his teeth together until they ached.

~ Disgusting child! I don't want to see you, I can't bare to look at you! Get back! I want Karl, where is my beloved Karl? ~

He looked at the mirror, until all he could see was the red in his eyes and the whiteness of his hair. Evidence of his heritage and the truth behind his twisted birth. His fist slammed into the glass. Pale knuckles pushed in, until glass splintered and broke the surface of his skin.

Subaru breathed out, trying to distract himself from Yui's scent by focusing on the dull pain. When he pulled his hand away, seven reflections glared back at him.

He remembered watching Yui before, and thinking to himself that he'd sully her just by being in her presence. The darker part of him had wanted that, to dirty her with his hands until she resembled something similar to himself. Drag her down to his level. Maybe then he wouldn't have hesitated to touch her.

"Subaru-kun! Please come to dinner! Everyone's waiting!" There was an insistent banging coming from above.

Red eyes snapped open as a snarl curled his lip. "I don't feel like it, now get lost! You're disturbing my sleep!" He yelled from inside his coffin, picturing her pouting face.

"But Reiji-"

"I don't care what he says." Subaru grumbled, shifting to get comfortable. A faint sigh escaped her, and several minutes went by until Yui worked up the nerve to speak once more.

He heard something settle on the lid, and wondered if she was leaning over him. "I... heard that your father insists on these meals. That he's the one that forces the six of you to sit down together and share a meal once a month. Is it true?"

His eyes widened, and he expected himself to get angry at her words. When he replied, there was only resignation in his voice. "That's none of your business."

"..."

Subaru gazed unseeingly at the dark surface of the coffin, and thought that perhaps she'd left. He wouldn't have blamed her if she had. The lid above his head suddenly shook, and a small grunt of effort reached his ears.

"W-what the heck are you doing?" He sat up slightly in alarm.

"Trying to open this- gah! It's so heavy!" She exclaimed. He rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling himself up. He pushed the lid aside easily, eyes adjusting to the faint light of the room before they settled on her face.

He quickly glanced away."Tch, why are you so happy?"

"Because, this means your coming to the meal, right?"

His gaze slid back to her, and he regarded her smiling face quietly. The moon's rays caught her blonde locks, making the ends glow in a soft, radiant light. Subaru reached for her slowly, skimming her neck without touching the delicate, scarred expanse of her skin.

'Defective' is all he could think as he caught sight of his pale hand. He started when she suddenly grabbed it tightly. Her palms were soft and warm, and he heard the thumping of her heart.

"Come on Subaru-kun. Everyone's waiting." She said gently, as if rousing him from a dream.

Wide eyes connected with hers, before Subaru tightened his hold and pulled. Yui gasped and cried out as she was enveloped in the darkness of the coffin. Subaru wrapped an arm around her waist and settled her awkwardly against him. Touch was only experienced when he fed. He'd never willingly embraced prey in such a way before.

Trying to act unaffected, he muttered. "Like I said, I couldn't care less. Besides, I have a meal right here if I get hungry." He smirked into her hair as she protested, squirming in his arms. He scraped his fangs against her bare neck, both as a reminder and simply for the thrill of it. She eventually gave up and just lay with him, until his eyes fluttered shut tiredly.

Despite the peace he'd felt that night, he'd distanced himself from her immediately after. He'd assured himself it was the right thing to do, as he'd break her if left too long in her presence. So he stayed away, until the thirst drove him mad enough to track her down.

It became a vicious cycle. He stayed away, became ravenous, and then found her, ultimately causing her more harm in his haste to drink, than if he'd visited her more often.

Subaru looked down at his trembling, bloodied hand. Twisted, filthy. He clenched it, pressing the shards of glass further into his skin. If she'd been mine, this still would've happened. Because I'm one of father's sons.

He hissed a breath between his teeth and tightened his fists, wincing as the shards sank deeper.

Cold. Something cold touched his hand. Subaru snapped his gaze up and found Yui before him.

Her eyes were still dull, but her hands were just as soft as he remembered as they slowly pried his fist apart, revealing bloodied flesh underneath.

"You're...injured. You need medicine. We have to...we have to treat it right away." Her thin, airy voice reached his ears, and Subaru stared at her in disbelief.

His lips parted as she turned on her heel and padded to the en-suite with stiff, quiet steps. When she returned, she was cradling a white box close to her chest. Subaru swallowed thickly as she set it down and silently brought out bandages.

"H-hey."

She ignored him and rummaged in the box, finding some medicinal spray.

His hand grabbed hers, grip tight. "Yui." He breathed, inspecting her face for any sign of recognition. Say something again, talk to me.

The girl just stared at him lifelessly. Subaru bowed his head, feeling his hand loosen and fall away.

She set to work on cleaning his wound with almost mechanical movements. Subaru watched her throughout, not saying a word, but drinking her in with wide eyes.

As she began to bandage his hand, Subaru recalled her ignorant cries when he'd injured himself in the past.

"We have to treat it! It could get infected, or who knows what else!"

Of course he'd scoffed and tried to drill it into her head that he was a vampire, but it seemed she hadn't lost the stubborn mindset that he needed help. His lips tilted up slightly, even as his chest pulsed with a dull ache.

He'd been trying to ignore the dryness of his throat since stepping foot in her bedroom, but the curse of awareness had him swallowing. He wet his lips, tongue pushing against the back of his fangs, wanting, needing the rich taste of her blood. When she subconsciously pushed her hair away from her eyes, locks slid over her bare shoulder, revealing creamy white skin. Subaru exhaled sharply, feeling his throat inflame.

Just as she finished bandaging his wound, Subaru's hand slid into her hair, fingers curling. His grip tightened as his other hand encircled her throat lightly, keeping her in place. Yui's eyes were glass marbles as Subaru's fangs sank deep into her neck.

She started at the sudden pain, but didn't whimper or cry out as she'd used to. The white haired vampire barely registered anything other than the taste of her blood as lightning crashed down his throat, igniting his body. He gathered her close, hearing her heart thunder in his ears. She tasted amazing, with a richness of fine wine, and a sweet quality to it that pushed him over the edge.

He gasped into her neck, ravenous in his thirst. Briefly regaining control, he licked the stray flecks of blood away, running his tongue over the bite marks. He then bit the thin skin above her chest, and she trembled in his hold, making Subaru inwardly shiver.

When he'd taken her blood in the past, he'd fed as quickly as possible and then left. But before that, when he'd been less concerned with her, there'd been moments similar to this.

Subaru dimly recalled the sensation of a light touch on the back of his head. Her fingers had brushed through his hair, just for a moment, as he'd robbed her of strength. Subaru's lips reluctantly drew away, but they hovered over her skin. His breath fanned over damaged flesh, and Subaru glanced up into dead, sorrowful eyes.

Feel me. Please, come back.

Yui's gaze stayed dulled and far away as he bent to kiss her skin. Of their own accord, his hands snaked around her waist, pulling her against his body. His fingers clenched in her nightgown, until the material strained and threatened to tear. Subaru kissed her body roughly in desperation, lips almost bruising her flesh. He wanted so badly for her to respond, to touch him, want him.

His calloused hand unfurled to touch her ribs, sliding down to her hip. Yui suddenly shook violently. The vampire started as he felt something wet land on his face, and drew his eyes up to meet hers. They were filled with tears, some escaping and rolling down her cheeks.

~ Karl, is that you? My love, I've missed you. ~

Snow colored hair ticked his chin as she held him close. Those hands, that had both comforted and struck him, brushed down his arms. Eyes that so closely resembled his own, gazed up at him with evident passion. It was then Subaru knew that she was no longer seeing him. Her touch turned into that of a lovers seeking pleasure, instead of a mother's embracing her son. His hand quickly grabbed her wrist, gripping it so tightly it threatened to shatter.

Subaru tore himself away from her as though burned.

Yui trembled, arms against her chest. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Don't be angry, please, do what you want."

Subaru's stomach churned as her dim eyes swayed to her bed. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she'd been conditioned to respond this way. He thinks of the Triplets, and knows they'd each satisfied themselves within her.

His mind races to the servants of the tower, of how they'd whispered the truth of his mothers defilement at the hands of his father, how the white rose had wilted.

Her eyes widened as apologies fell from her lips faster and faster, until the brief moment of light in their depths dulled. "W-wait, I'm not supposed to apologize if Kanato-kun is around. He hates it. I-is he here?"

Yui looked across the room, but seemed to forget who she was searching for a moment later as she whispered mindlessly; 'I'm sorry.'

Subaru stared at her, stricken.

~"Who's face do you see before you now?" ~

He'd asked that question too many damn times over the years. He'd never thought he'd have to ask Yui such a thing.

Subaru stepped away, but this only seemed to upset her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so-" She reached for him, but he recoiled from her touch.

"Stop. Damn it..." He sighed. "It's not like you have anything to apologize for." He replied wearily, running a hand through his hair and cursing. He blinked when she suddenly obeyed, lapsing into silence.

He exhaled, looking away. That he'd forced himself on her only made him feel more wretched. It was true then, that he only felt brave enough to show his desire for her when she was too broken to respond to him. Subaru sneered to himself, and made to leave before he did anything else.

But upon walking to the door, he realized that the moment he left, his brothers would come to drain her as well. His gaze fell on her trembling shoulders, and knew that she didn't have the stamina to endure their fangs. He hesitated, caught between the need to shut himself away in his coffin, and the insidious feeling of guilt that lingered in his bones.

He flinched when she turned her empty eyes on him, and wondered if she'd prefer that he leave or stay.

The brightening sky caught his attention and Subaru turned, feeling the change in the air that also signaled dawn approaching.

Sighing, he walked over to her, glad that she didn't draw away when he stepped closer. "Come on, getting you out of this room might help." He didn't wait for her reply as he slid a hand under her thin legs, the other supporting her back. She stayed silent as he pulled her up, cradling her in his arms and moving to the balcony doors.

Without hesitating, he jumped onto the railing, looking out at the soft hues of the sky. Subaru breathed in slightly, already feeling his shoulders relax from the open air. He glanced at Yui once, before stepping off the edge. Yui's grip tightened on his clothes, and her hair brushed his chin as they fell as a slight squeak escaped her.

He landed on the grass with grunt, shifting her in his arms. He didn't have a plan for what would follow, but his instincts guided him onward as he walked forwards into the dawn.

ooo

I'm still working on other stories but this one wouldn't leave me alone so I just had to write it! Darn it muse! Ah well, anyways this story will either be two or three chapters long, depending on how the next goes.

I'd say this fic is a mix of the first two games and the anime. I don't know if how I've portrayed Subaru will sit well with people who usually see him as fluffier, but well, this is just my interpretation of him as someone who's self hating, destructive, quick to anger and incredibly lonely. (Though he is my favorite) So yeah, hope you like this one, it's my first dip into Diabolik Lovers fanfiction, but I really love the game. ^^