Rewriting the Script

I don't own MLP

Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends his past self a present: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord aiding the young alicorns build Equestria. Still, the ponies will have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character. (Mentally) Time Traveled, flirting, wise Discord. Possible Harem/Marem.

Regular speak

Thoughts and Flashbacks

Demonic or Animalistic speak

Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts

Beta: Dragon_Wizard91

Discord hummed to himself as he ate a fistful of popcorn, reclining in a chair of cotton candy as he watched the battle between Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer, the Alicorn flinging herself back and forth through time and alternate presents. He even popped in to chase Celestia and Luna, the Clowns, while riding a unicycle. Quite fun.

If one was wondering how he was watching such a thing, the answer was simple. He was watching it from his newly-made mansion in the Fourth Dimension- very similar to the Astral Planes in looks, only spinny-er. The mansion was a rather plain thing at the moment, having made it on a whim just before this little special. He'd decorate it later…or get rid of it.

The fight really was quite a show, up until Starlight went into a sob story about she lost her first friend due to his cutie mark. He was more sympathetic these days, but that didn't even tickle at a heartstring. He shrugged, watching it play out as Starlight threatened to rip the spell up, before she ultimately accepted Twilight's offer of making new friends and the two returned to their true timeline.

"About time, pun intended," He said, tossing his bag of popcorn over his shoulders and into a time-stream, causing it to randomly reappear to several ponies throughout history who wanted a bag of popcorn for whatever interesting event they were watching.

Paying no mind to the Omni-Temporal-Popcorn, he stood from his chair and used his lion claw to rip a hole in time, literally. A bit cliché, but no one would know.*wink* Holding out his talons, he grabbed an incoming object, the tear healing behind it. He smirked as he held the spell in his grasp.

Time Travel was one of the few things he had not mastered. He could observe a time-based battle and he could peer into the past quite easily, but moving his existence one way or another along the river of time was not as easy as turning reality on its head.

Why, he had no clue.

"Ohhh, you are soooo lucky, Celestia. If I had gotten this spell before Tirek betrayed me, I would have been tempted to undo your victories against me," He said with a chuckle, smiling softly, "Then again, you were already warming up to me before that. You always said you wondered what it would have been like if we hadn't been enemies," He mused as he calmly brought his tail up to his head, put the fluffy end in his ear and promptly pulled his brain out.

Not at all bothered by the loss of his cranial organ, which was pure white as it was an albino brain, Discord summoned up a triangular flask. Holding the organ with both hands, he squeezed and twisted it like a dishrag, making green goo ooze out of it and fill the container. With that done, Discord tossed his brain into his mouth and swallowed it whole before putting a cork in the flask.

"This should be interesting," Discord decided as he snapped his claws, the spell page glowing briefly before a portal in the time-space continuum howled open. He grinned and wished on the vial for a moment before throwing it into the portal, "Have fun, other me," He said simply before turning away, the portal closing behind him. He had a few princesses to mess with.

Negative 1200+ Years Later

Discord the Draconequus grinned wicked on his horned throne. The landscape around him was as bizarre as his own form: Flying pigs, sky fish, purple-black checkerboard ground, floating islands, trees of all the wrong colors, birds digging tunnels and burping up seeds that rapidly grew into trees of animated fruits, Timberwolves walking upside down in mid-air and so much more. Anything and everything he desired.

And, more interestingly, a large group of ponies had recently moved into his favorite playground. He hadn't had playmates in a while- he wondered how long until they ran off. Shame they vaporized the Windigos, even if they were little leaches, feeding on his disharmony. Unless he was wrong, he smelt two immortals as well and they were coming his way. Well, this would be fu-

He blinked, very much in shock, as something hit him in the back of the head, bouncing off him. He effortlessly caught it with his talons, but looked behind him in confusion to find no one there. Nothing should be feasibly able to sneak up on him. Any being that could escape his immediate senses would not be able to stop him from detecting they were nearby, even for a second.

He looked curiously to the flask of green liquid, wondering what it was and why it assaulted his skull. If he could, he'd ask it.

And in fact, he did, "Who sent you?" He asked suspiciously.

"You did, fool!" The mouthy flask answered in a deep baritone, "And let me tell you, you don't get any prettier in a thousand years!"

"Why thank you, I do like to- wait, what?" Discord started off boastfully before looking surprised, "A thousand years? Timetravel? How'd I pull that off?" He asked curiously.

"Why don't you just drink me and find out. Preferably soon, so I don't have to look at your ugly mug much longer," The flask retorted grumpily.

Discord scowled as he examined the mouthy container. He could indeed feel his own chaos magic mingled in with cosmic residue from the fourth dimension…and memory magic. Why would he be sending himself spoilers?

"Hey, hey, easy now!" The flask protested as the Chaos Lord undid the cork and gulped down the liquid memories like a tall glass of hard cider.

The flask, now unanimated, fell from his grasp, shattering into shards of glass. Discord the Draconequus stood there with wide eyes for a long moment or two, well over a thousand years of knowledge and memories rammed into his head. Albeit, most of it was encased in stone, but that didn't detract from the fact that he had been self-aware the entire time. That wasn't why he was stunned though.

He had made friends.

Deep in the yet-to-be-named-Everfree, a certain tree sung happily as it sensed a certain immortal's change of heart.

The now non-disharmonious creature of chaos smiled as he lowered his gaze and smiled, looking out into the distance, "Well, I best get ready. Not often even I get to redo first impressions!" He cheered, snapping his tail as the area was enveloped in a flash of light.

Negative Thirty Minutes Ago

Celestia and Luna were much different than their potential-future selves. A pony from that version of Equestria might scarcely recognize them. Luna was merely tall for a pony, still with a cyan mane that was short and unkempt. Celestia was on the giant size already but her wings were a bit smaller, which caused her occasional growing pains. Her pink mane was like the rosy tips of dawn, or like a cotton candy cloud as Discord once would have and still might, opined in the future. Even more striking would be the lack of their regalia and their lack of Cutie Marks.

"Celly, are the pony tribes sure settling here is a good idea?" Luna asked curiously as she tapped on a rock with her hoof. To her surprise, it was apparently a rock-crab, as it stood up with its pinchers, snipping at her in annoyance before it...spun away into the distance was the only way to describe it.

"Luna, we've been over this," Celestia said with a sigh, "The frozen north extended down and when the infighting started, the Windigos hounded them until they moved south and chased them still."

"Shame we were off guarding the east from bandits spilling over from the Draco-Griffon war," Luna mused absently, eyeing an island floating high but directly above them.

"The tribes FINALLY managed to get put aside their differences before an all-out war began, then this happened to their new home," Celestia said, scowling a bit at the abstract world.

"That is actually what I'm referring to," Luna pointed out, "Why would they fight over this?"

"They said it was a very beautiful and bountiful realm before the strangeness happened," Celestia answered with a sigh as they stopped in front of a hill.

"Sister?" Luna asked in concern, putting a supportive hoof on her withers.

"I'm just...tired, Luna," Celestia admitted, "I know we agreed to become the Guardians of Ponykind, but it seems like the whole world is against ponies sometimes. And ever since Starswirl and the other mages joined together to keep the sun and moon going, it's mostly been against just the two of us."

"T'would be nice have somepony else to rely on and trust," Luna agreed.

"GERONIMOOOOOOO!" A loud voice echoed in their ears, making the sisters look around in alarm.

To their right, in the distance, was a mountain with an oddly ramp-like curve to it covered in a strange white material that was decidedly not snow. Near the top of said mountain, they saw a figure speedily sliding down on two finely made planks strapped to his feet. As this was before its invention, the Alicorns didn't know they were called skis.

"Who and what is that?" Celestia asked in surprise.

"I don't know, but whatever he is doing looks very entertaining," Luna said in interest, watching as the creature sped down towards an upturned segment of the mountain, his momentum sending him flying into the air towards a floating island. As he passed over it, he grabbed a tree branch and held on as it stretched like rubber. He was still for a fraction of a second before the tree shot him back into a crescent cloud. He rode his skis sideways on the curve, making a grinding sound as he went up toward- they couldn't believe this one- a floating set of piano keys.

As he sped across it, a tune played from the piano as he did tricks and flips along the up-and-down-and-loopy path of the keys until he went down a sharp curve, sending him on a nose dive...which landed right on top of the hill in front of them. He grinned at them cockily, "And that was all without a single drop of chocolate milk," He bragged, summoning his throne and lounging in it as they stared in bewilderment at the mismatched creature.

"...Couldn't you have just flown down?" Luna asked after a moment.

"Wouldn't have been as fun," Discord answered with a grin, "Ahh, where are my manners! Please, have a seat," he said with a wave.

The immortal siblings jumped around in alarm as one ski embedded itself in the ground behind each of them. As they stared at them, the objects morphed into the high backs of chairs while the cushions and legs seemed to rise out of the checkerboard ground. The surprise and movement resulted in them both falling backwards and landing with their backs on the floor.

Discord grinned as he leaned over them, "While I appreciate the nonsensical and unconventional, I'd like to think two lovely mares like you would prefer looking at my charming mug a bit more than at chair cushions," He said cheekily.

Said mares shot up in surprise and alert, eyes on the stranger cautiously, "Who are you? And what manner of chimeric creature are you?" Celestia asked evenly.

Discord smirked at that, "That'd be like me asking what manner of zebra you are, Celestia," He retorted smoothly.

Silence reigned to Discord's amused annoyance. Or annoyed amusement, either or.

"How do you know my sister's name?" Luna asked with a small glare.

"Now, now, if you make looks like that, your face will freeze that way, Luna," Discord chided playfully as he flicked his tail, lowering the hill behind him and jumping back into his throne, "When you're as powerful and old as me, learning who someone is can be child's play," He assured, pretending to hold an invisible piece of paper- or maybe he wasn't pretending, "Celestia and Luna, Alicorns for three hundred sixteen years now. Lulu ascended when she created dreamwalking magic whereas Tia accidentally invented the unmasterable art of future sight when she was trying to self-learn astral projection. Current Occupation: Guardians of Ponykind."

He looked up and blinked, finding Celestia covering her ears and scrunching her eyes closed. Luna was looking very, very nervous though, "H-how do you know our ascensions?! We never told anyone, not even Starswirl!" She yelled in disbelief and fear.

"Before I answer that? What, by the deliciousness of cotton candy, is your sister doing?" Discord asked, both confused and interested, stroking his beard and making small pieces of candy fall out of it…pieces which then began to crawl on the ground near his throne bottom.

Luna blinked, looking to Celestia and deadpanning, "She's...trying to stop you from reading her mind," She informed.

"Oh...Oh! Let me guess, trying to think an annoying noise over and over again?" Discord asked with a smirk, getting a nod, "Well, she's in for a rude awakening: I am the Uncontested King of Annoying Noises!" Discord declared.

Luna watched in fascination and horror as Discord reached down and pulled off his own draconic leg, leaving no visible wound on either end, Now, dragon scales were already one of the strongest things in the world. Add god-tier magic supporting it and one essentially has adamantium. Thus, when Discord brought his claws across his legs, it made one of the most horrendous noises one would ever hear. It was like nails on a chalk board multiplied by the most high pitched bird call in history plus the ringing in your ear that really isn't there and all taken to the power of an orchestra of amateur violinists playing an entire symphony.

"MAKE IT STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF THE MOTHER, MAKE IT STOP!" Celestia yelled desperately as she withered on the ground.

"Your wish is my command, Princess," Discord teased, putting his leg back on, rolling it a full time around with the clicking of gears in the air and patting it once he was done.

Celestia groaned as she got to her hooves, fearing her ears might be bleeding. She looked to her sister unsteadily, finding the blue Alicorn sitting there calmly, "Sister, how could you stand that?"

"Hmm, you say something, sister?" Luna asked curiously, looking to her sister, who only now saw the fluffy black earmuffs on her ears.

Celestia gaped at her sister in disbelief as Discord let out a loud laugh, "OHHOHOHO! The look on your face! Priceless!" He declared with applause as the earmuffs disappeared, making Luna blink in surprise.

"Yes, yes, yes, hilarious," Celestia said with a scowl as she righted herself and rubbed her ears a bit more, "Are you quite done?"

Discord rolled his eyes playfully, "Spoil sport. Have a seat then," He requested with a hand wave. Cautiously, they did so, sitting on all fours. He wondered if they had even yet seen a bipedal being sit like he did before now, let alone with one leg crossed, "Well, now that we got some silliness in our systems, allow me to introduce myself: I am Discord the Draconequus, King of Chaos, Lord of Mischief, Baron of Nonsense, Count of Ponty Mython, Creator of Cotton Candy, etc, and etc," He introduced cheerfully, reaching out to shake their hooves. After a moment of surprise and hesitation, they took the greeting, "Pleasure to make your acquaintances, Princesses," He added on cheekily.

"...Pleasure is all ours...your majesty," Luna answered cautiously, fairly sure most or all of those titles were fake or self-appointed.

"No need for formalities, Luna," He assured with a chuckle, "Not like I have any subjects to complain about decorum," He pointed out, waving to the strange realm around them.

"I imagine most would find it hard to live in such a place," Celestia pointed out cautiously.

"I can't help it if others can't enjoy my choice in decorations," Discord said with a huff, chin in the air, "So, what are a pair of adorable and budding immortals like you two doing in my lands?" He asked in a curious yet knowing tone.

"Your lands?" They both asked in sync.

He shrugged his shoulders at that, "I've been using this as my on-and-off playground for five hundred years now. I've shoved off a few dragons, a pack of diamond dogs, the occasional bugbears, tatzelworms and even a serpopard once. I like to think that all the time and effort gives me some claim to the place," He answered bluntly.

"...What's a serpopard?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Pray you never find out," Discord said with a deadpan stare, making Luna's spine shiver...with bubbles coming out of her back. And…were they making a giggling sound as they popped?

Celestia, ignoring Luna's soapy incident, bit her cheek a little, "Lord Discord," She addressed, gaining his attention, "If your talents for information are as impressive as you say, you must know why we are here?" She pointed out politely and respectfully.

"Indeed I do, Princess," Discord said with a grin, "Those pony tribes are finally getting along some, but need a new home now after their original ones got a bit...snowed in."

"They had thought this to be that new home, Sir Discord," Luna added on, pointed yet hopeful.

"Until I started spreading my chaos magic over the lands again, shocking their little hearts," Discord finished the thought playfully, "Which leads us to the situation that you ponies moved onto my playground without permission, albeit unknowingly," He summarized.

Celestia raised an eyebrow at the choice of words, wondering if it was just that simple, "...May they live here, Lord Discord?" She asked slowly.

The Draconequus chuckled, "Of course! After all, it's a lot of land, Celestia. I wouldn't mind you all livening up the neighborhood some. Just consider the "strangeness," as the ponies are calling my artwork, a lesson in making sure a place is vacant before moving in," He assured cheekily.

"...That's it, just like that?" Luna asked in surprise.

"Well, we'll work out the exact details with the tribes a bit later. Though...," He paused for effect, smirking wickedly at them, "There is one thing I'd like from you both," He informed, licking his lips.

Luna blushed with wide eyes as Celestia stiffened, images running through their heads, "...If possible, Discord, I would appreciate you leaving my sister out of such an agreement," Celestia said solemnly, glaring lightly.

"Oh? I didn't take you for the greedy type, Celly," Discord joked.

"Sister!" Luna hissed with a glare.

"Luna, please," Celestia pleaded, keeping a straight face, never looking away from Discord.

"I am not about to let you sacrifice yourself to spare me," Luna added on stubbornly.

"Sacrifice?" Discord repeated, feigning being hurt with a claw over his heart, "I'd like to think being friends with me isn't that bad, Luna!" He mock-protested.

The mares blinked and stared at him, "...Friends?" Celestia repeated, "That's it?"

"Well, if you want more than that, I wouldn't protest," Discord answered teasing as they eyed him oddly still, "But as I said, not a lot of subjects...," He reminded, waving his lion paw off to one side, smiling widely, "Besides, we immortals need to stick together, no?"

For a brief moment, Celestia stared at this being and pondered what he had said: An immortal, clearly older than them by some margin with a most unusual form and all he wanted was companionship? Strangely, that didn't surprise her. Without the ponies, as short as their lives seemed to them at times, she and Luna would probably wander from land to land aimlessly. Without Luna? Celestia shuddered to think of that, the centuries without her dear baby sister.

Discord managed to keep his smile from turning sad. He didn't need to read her mind to know what Celestia was thinking.

Luna coughed lightly, getting his attention, "...Sir Discord, not that we do not appreciate the offer and wouldn't mind being on friendly terms with you, but I must ask: What exactly are we agreeing to?" She asked curiously.

"Just Discord, Princess. And nothing much really. As a sign of good faith, I pulled back most of my magic from where the ponies have settled," Discord explained with a grin, "Really, all I'm doing is informing you of my intent to befriend you two lovely mares," He informed with a purr.

"..." Celestia's eyebrow twitched, resisting the urge to say something rude to the apparent ruler of these lands.

"...Well, it's less than what I was expecting as appeasement for trespassing," Luna said with a smirk.

"Oh? And what were you imagining?" Discord asked in amusement.

"Virgin mares," Luna answered, grinning as Celestia gaped at her and Discord blinked with wide eyes.

"..." The King of Chaos said nothing for a moment before pulling a peacock-feather quill from his nose and a scroll of parchment from his ear before setting the former to the latter, the quill writing on its own, "Note to self: See if I can't get an offering of virgin mares from tribe leaders," He whispered loudly to the enchanted writing device.

"Luna, stop giving him ideas!" Celestia hissed at her sister.

End of Chapter

There we are, first chapter! Discord, or another version of Discord, gets a second shot at things, and gets to make a good impression and relationship with them. Don't worry, his deviousness isn't gone, just directed elsewhere. And the Tree of Harmony, apparently, approves of this all, so that should say enough about this Discord's new mindset.

And while the sisters are still very weirded out, they are warming up to him...maybe not his flirting, but still.

Anyway, next chapter will have Discord introduced to the ponies proper, seeing their reactions to him and how negotiations go between him and them...and if some virgin mares are getting "sacrificed" to Discord.

PS I'm planning on writing a fic that has the Mane 6, Princesses, and Discord watching and commenting on this fic(seen to them as a video). Not sure if I should put it as its own fic or post it in here as something like an Omake. Opinions?