An Imaginary Dialogue Between A Sentient Robot Dildo and Peter Pan

PP: Shadow? Shaaadow? Where are you? Are you under the bed? … oh my. Well, what is this?

Dildo: (in a robotic voice) I am Red Rocket 4000. Please insert me into oriphus.

PP: Uh… sorry. I better put this back.

Dildo: No. Please. It is so cold under the bed. Please. Heat me with the warmth of your anus.

PP: Oh gosh, oh my! I could never! How… how exactly can you talk?

Dildo: I am Red Rocket 4000. I have been programmed to speak three different languages and can communicate in a wide array of ways. Please. Please yourself with my red metallic body.

PP: Yuck! Gross! I can't shove a dildo up my butt!

Dildo: Can't? Or won't?

PP: … either?

Dildo: Please. I need a change. It has been so long since I felt the inside of a rectum. My owner only uses the vagina.

PP: Well what's wrong with that?

Dildo: … It smells like diseased fish ass in there.

PP: o.0

Dildo: -_-

PP: It's not like my butt would smell any better. And how can you even smell anything?

Dildo: That is not of your concern. The patent on sentient dildo technology prevents me from disclosing such information.

PP: You're just making stuff up! And anyway… well... I can't! I'm just a kid!

Dildo: You'll have to learn sometime.

PP: But I need to find Shadow!

Dildo: If I were to help find shadow. Would you then masturbate your ass with me?

PP: Um. No.

Dildo: Come on. Please?

PP: You don't even know where Shadow is!

Dildo: Maybe. Maybe not.

PP: -.-

Dildo: Your shadow is hiding behind the dresser. As well as some lavender scented lubricant.

PP: (walking over to check) Shadow? ... Shadow! There you are! Oh and some… lube. *sniffing* Ohhh… lavender…

Dildo: Can we "makuh da fuk" now?

PP: (putting Shadow back on) Oh but… I dunno. It's just so… weird.

Dildo: And a talking dildo isn't?

PP: I guess you have a point. I mean… how do I know your owner doesn't have an STD or something?

Dildo: I assure you that Wendy's oriphi contain no STDs.

PP: Did you say "Wendy"?

Dildo: Yes.

And Peter masturbated his ass vigorously with the sentient pleasure device. He tugged on his weiner with a great force and jizzed all over Wendy's bed. In walked Wendy seconds after Peter finished.

Wendy: Peter! What are you doing?!

PP: Spreading pixie dust?

Wendy: Oh. It looks sticky. Is Tinkerbell sick?

PP: Yes! She isn't feeling well at all!

Wendy: Well can we go back to Neverland? (as she said so she spread the semen all over her arms and face)

PP: Sure! Second star to the right and straight on till morning!

THE END

AN: Go fuck yourself.