Disclaimer: One last scene, for amusement. True Story: the title of this chapter almost became the fic name, but I opted to keep the original.

Yang had prepared for a very short list of possible conversation topics when the three of them stepped off the elevator into the Headmaster's office. However, upon seeing that Ruby and Penny were also present, that list grew a few more topics. And, of course, the first thing out of Professor Ozpin's mouth included precisely zero of them.

"Children! I'm glad you all could make it so quickly on such short notice." He peered at them over the top of his spectacles, taking a sip of his coffee while Professor Goodwitch watched them with her measured gaze. Luckily, by the time they'd actually reached the office, Yang and Blake had regained their composure, though Weiss still giving them a bit of a silent treatment for the blonde's teasing comment. Coming up with ways to apologize was only slightly distracting. "Now, as to why I've called you all here." Professor Ozpin leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "There seems to be a police report regarding a group of ruffians stealing Dust crates last night. They were reportedly thwarted by a group of students, but none of them were around by the time the authorities showed up." One silver eyebrow raised. "Do any of you happen to know who might've been part of that scuffle?"

Although she said nothing, Professor Goodwitch's pointed look at the enlarged scroll she held was good enough reason to not even bother lying; they'd all used their lockers last night, and they were likely the only people who did, too.

Ruby spoke up, either because she was completely unfazed by the Professors' presence or because she was the team's leader, it was tough to say. "Yes, sir, we were all there. Roman Torchwick- the same man from the docks- was trying to steal the crates, and Penny and I stumbled on the whole, uh, operation?" She frowned for a moment, unsure of her word choice, before barreling through. "The rest of my team came to help. Please, sir, Penny and I only acted in self-defense; they fired first."

Professor Goodwitch frowned. "Be that as it may, you five certainly did a fair bit of damage yourselves, and so soon after the last time this happened-"

"Now, Glynda, this is no time for a lecture." Professor Ozpin waved towards them. "Team RWBY has displayed excellent discretion and ability in all their classes and assignments. I'm inclined to believe they truly were acting in defense of themselves and each other, which is well within their rights." His gaze slid across them before settling on Yang. "What I am concerned about, however, are the whispers I've been hearing about Miss Xiao Long not feeling well around this same time." He tapped a finger against his desk. "While you are attending Beacon, we are responsible for providing a safe environment for all our students. So, what has my attention is why one of my students didn't seek medical attention when she apparently needed it, and why her teammates weren't inclined to ensure she received it."

Well... shit. She wasn't expecting that.

"Yang was suffering from a mundane migraine, Professor Ozpin," Weiss said, smoothly covering as the sisters of the team froze up. Honestly, Yang had forgotten she'd played sick for a while, seeing as it definitely wasn't anywhere near a highlight of the day. Ruby probably wouldn't be able to lie convincingly enough anyway and let out a small sigh of relief when her partner stepped up. "A lack of proper hydration caused her symptoms, so we intended to leave the festivities early to bring her back to Beacon for rest. After dealing with the scoundrels assaulting our team leader, we did just that."

Professor Ozpin hummed, tilting his head to the side. "As Huntsmen and Huntresses, we must always endeavor to remember that our training doesn't make us invincible. Proper rest, nourishment, and hydration are essential to remaining in fighting shape." Once again, his gaze landed on Yang. "Try to take better care of yourself, Miss Xiao Long. I'd hate to see your fun ended prematurely from a few careless mistakes."

Holy shit. Blake was right. He knew.

Okay, maybe she was overreacting. That was just sound, teacher-ly advice that totally made sense within the context of their conversation and had absolutely no ulterior meaning.

Her sister, being just too damn curious for her own good sometimes, furrowed her brows. "Fun, sir?"

With a surprised laugh, Professor Ozpin nodded. "Ah, yes, my apologies. I didn't mean to imply anything untoward. It just appears to me that perhaps Miss Xiao Long has come to this academy seeking the thrill of the hunt. There's nothing wrong that... but it could lead to wounds not easily healed by aura." He smiled. "I advise you take extra precautions from henceforth, Miss Xiao Long. It's not just yourself who could be harmed by even the most benign reckless action."

Nope, he totally fucking knew.

"And Miss Schnee, while we're on the subject, I simply ask that you alert my staff to any immediate necessities you might seek prior to contacting your family." He inclined his head slightly. "While we have always been on good terms with our neighbors in Atlas, I do like to handle issues in house as much as possible. I understand that some things can only be remedied by a sibling's assistance, but I would like to have an idea of what's going on the next time an Atlesian Specialist decides to drop by on emergency business."

"Of course, sir. I apologize for the inconvenience." Well, if Weiss suspected that the Headmaster knew more than he was letting on, she certainly didn't look or sound it. Maybe it was just Yang's imagination.

"No need for apologies." He waved a hand dismissively. "I'm quite certain your sister was better suited to providing the assistance you required this time. I just don't want to set an unhealthy precedent." That little smile on his lips widened. "Your team is in a unique position that most students won't understand. The professors here are trained in discretion, though, so you needn't feel as if there's nowhere to turn, if ever any of you seek assistance."

Given how the heiress' eyes widened just the tiniest fraction and her shoulders straightened, Yang was willing to bet she just got the same vibe as the blonde.

Damn it!

"Now, Miss Belladonna. While I applaud you for taking care of your partner and supporting your teammate, I also urge you to remember to keep your own needs in mind, too. Like with Miss Xiao Long, keeping secrets endangers more than just yourself, so be sure to keep your team apprised of things that come up." He nodded slowly. "This is the second time you've been faced with the criminal Roman Torchwick and I got the distinct impression your last encounter had some lingering effects you may have withheld when we spoke. Please, air your grievances with your friends." That fucking little grin got a little wider. "I'm certain they're just as invested in you and as you are in them. Respect that bond."

"Of course. Sir." Out of the corner of her eye, Yang could've sworn she saw her partner's bow twitch. Either Professor Ozpin was an absolute savant at giving multi-layered advice that just so happened to apply to things he had no knowledge of, or the man had eyes and ears fucking everywhere. Suddenly, the blonde was finding herself thanking whatever lucky star was shining down on her that Winter had gotten them a condo so quickly. She'd probably be jumpy just changing in their dorm room for the next few weeks, at least.

"Is there... anything else? Sir?" Even if Ruby wasn't picking up on how eerily vague the Headmaster's advice was, she definitely noticed the unease with which her teammates were now standing, a shy smile coming to her lips. "We were having a study day and-"

Their team leader cut herself off as the elevator behind them whooshed open, the tall and imposing figure of a man in an Atlesian military uniform striding out, his square jaw set in a distinctly aggressive manner. He looked a bit like a cleaner cut version of Junior, if Yang was being honest, except less likely to be cowed by the blonde.

"I apologize for the delay; I had to have a word with one of my soldiers who dropped by unannounced." His eyes landed briefly on Weiss before snapping to Penny, his heavy tread coming to stop once he was standing in front of the ginger. "Thank you, Professor Ozpin, for locating my wayward student."

"It was no trouble, James; she was in our library," the headmaster said, brushing off the severity of the other man's tone. "We invite all visiting students to utilize our facilities, so I'm glad she was dedicating her time to studying with Team RWBY."

"Studying?" The man raised a brow, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not fighting a gang as some sort of vigilante? I suppose that's an improvement."

"Please, General Ironwood, last night wasn't our fault." Penny tried to defend herself, looking to Ruby for assistance.

However, the General wasn't inclined on hearing it. "Penny, as I've said before, that's not the point. You..." His gaze slid across the members of Team RWBY before he coughed into one hand. "You know the rules."

"James-"

"Please, sir, it really wasn't Penny's fault." Ruby piped up, at once looking like she was prepared to stand her ground while also appearing ready to bolt for the door. Facing down some armed thugs was no problem for her little sister, but standing up to authority figures? Yeah, that was a bit of a stretch, but it seemed like the young woman wasn't going to be brushed aside easily. "Those men were trying to attack me. I'm sorry she got caught in the crossfire."

"While I'm sure you mean that, Miss Rose, I'm afraid I must insist that Penny remain with me for the duration or our stay." The General's mouth twitched into a more severe frown. "I'm the one responsible for her protection and she's..."

"Different?" Glancing back to her friend and teammates briefly gave her the courage to continue, silver eyes hardening like the metal they resembled. "We know, sir. It was an accident that we found out, but that's okay. Even if she's a little different, she's our friend."

Even from where she stood, Yang could see how that little bit of confirmation made the ginger's eyes light up. It didn't matter if it was only a bunch of circuits and wiring; there was emotion behind her reaction, the same as any other flesh-and-blood person the blonde had ever come across. She'd already grown a little fond of the odd young woman but that pretty much sealed the deal for Yang as she broke out in a wide grin, shoving her own jumbled feelings about how the meeting had gone thus far aside for the time being.

"Yeah, and she's a real powerhouse on her own, anyway." She pointedly ignored the muffled groans her girlfriends were trying hard to hide. "Ya know, combat ready and all that, but she's a lot of fun to hang out with, too."

"Who also takes studying more seriously than some students." Weiss threw her a look that quite clearly conveyed the jab was only light teasing and not a sincere admonishment, though the blonde had a few doubts about that.

"And she should have a say in this, as well." Blake pointed out, fidgeting slightly where she stood. If Yang had to guess, it probably had more than a little to do with seeing yet another Atlesian soldier in such a short time; now that she thought about it, she probably should talk with the heiress one-on-one about how Atlas treats Faunus socially, if only to prevent any potential issues when they resumed classes with the visiting students on Monday. She wasn't kidding about not holding back the next time someone ran their mouth; she put Cardin through a bookcase for a lot less.

Once again, the ginger spoke up, clasping her hands in front of her. "Please, General Ironwood. They're the first friends I've ever had. I would like to spend more time with them."

"We'll do whatever it takes to make sure nothing happens to her!" Ruby offered, concerned by how unmoved the man appeared to be, his strict posture not lessening despite their words.

"Children," Professor Ozpin said, effectively cutting off the other man's reply. "What you've just proposed is a huge undertaking. While I have no doubts to Miss Polendina's abilities to protect herself, accepting responsibility for another person's well-being isn't a promise to make lightly."

For a moment, her sister seemed taken aback, looking down at her boots before sending a pleading look to her teammates. Yang's eyes slid between her girlfriends before finally landing on her sister, nodding ever so slightly. It wasn't often Ruby asked something of her but, hell, she wasn't about to be intimidated. On Friday morning, she thought she'd be nursing a broken heart by now, but things somehow turned out so well for her, it would be an absolute crime to deny her own sibling the same chance at happiness, even if there were half a hundred pitfalls waiting around the corner.

They were a team; they were going to do this together.

"Then it's a good thing we're Huntresses, Professor." Ruby shot a her friend a smile. "This is what we signed up for: protecting people."

"Is that so?" Once again, the headmaster slid his gaze across all of them, as if weighing each one's sincerity.

To be honest, Professor Ozpin had her pegged at the start: her Huntress training was more for the thrill of the fight than to protect people. That was always Ruby's dream, not hers. However, she wasn't about to let that stand in the way now. Whatever it took, she was going to protect them: her sister, her girlfriends, and her sister's girlfriend. From anything.

"You're Huntresses in training, I might remind you." General Ironwood severely stated, seemingly frustrated by their antics. "And I-"

"Should let them do it."

"What?" The man's dark gaze snapped to Professor Ozpin, clearly incredulous. "You can't be-"

"Serious? I actually am." The headmaster got up, his chair sliding back as he strode around his desk, cane in one hand. "James, be reasonable. While your student may be unique, she still needs friends, as all of us do. Those to lean on in trying times and those to count on when it seems we are incapable of surmounting a given task." He came to a stop in front of them, a small smile on his lips. "In light of the Vytal Festival, we should promote friendships that cross country borders, not sever them out of fear. Team RWBY is at the top of their class and- their penchant for finding trouble aside- have always acted as stellar examples of good conduct."

The blonde didn't miss the slightly severe look Professor Goodwitch threw her way. Seriously, she fell asleep in Professor Port's class one... dozen times, but, in her defense, it was Professor Port's class. Could anyone really blame her?

She almost rolled her eyes at the poorly concealed chuckle Blake covered with a cough.

"I- That- It's-" The General struggled to find a suitable reply before sighing, looking between them and the headmaster. "You truly believe this is a good idea?"

"Of course I do."

"Very well then." He shifted his attention to the ginger. "Penny, you may study and... hang out with Team RWBY. However, the next time I find out about you being involved in any unsanctioned activity, these privileges are revoked. Do I make myself clear?"

Something in the back of Yang's mind was setting off alarm bells but there was absolutely nothing she or anyone else could do before Penny replied.

"Is kissing a sanctioned activity, sir?"

The blonde immediately slapped a hand over her mouth to hold in the laugh that was shaking her shoulders. She should've fucking known that was coming. General Ironwood stood, blinking, apparently unable to process the innocent request. Meanwhile, Ruby was trying her hardest to disappear into her cloak while Weiss and Blake held their poker faces surprisingly well, all things considered, though there was a faint twitching at the corner of their lips to hint at their own amusement.

Finally, Professor Ozpin stepped in to save them all, setting a hand on the General's shoulder. "I think kissing is just fine, Penny. However, I must advise that you don't go farther than that until you're older." His gaze flicked to meet Yang's dead on. "Say, two years? At the very least."

Oh, hello, Karma.

Whatever amusement had filled her system vacated in that very instant, heat creeping into her cheeks as there was no fucking doubt what he was saying. She could see matching blushes adorning her girlfriend's features, though the heiress' stood out much more prominently against her pale skin.

"Why's that, sir?" Fuck, Penny, stop.

"Because the walls are too thin," the headmaster replied before gesturing towards the elevator with his cane. "Now, why don't all of you run along? I believe there's some... studying to be done today, yes?"

Yang practically teleported to the elevator, beaten only by Weiss, who used her glyphs to aid in her escape and started mashing on the call button as hard as her dainty little fingers would allow. As if that was going to make the doors open quicker but, well, she was half tempted to punch the button herself in her desire to flee.

The moment the five of them were safely inside, the blonde slumped against one wall, with Blake on her left while their girlfriend was on her right, Ruby and Penny on the other side. While the majority of them were fighting to get a handle on their embarrassment, the ginger watched them with a curious expression, as if she was on the verge of asking a question.

And then it came. "What did he mean by 'the walls are too thin'?"

Ruby shot a glare at the other side of the elevator. "Penny. Please. Never ask me. That question. Ever. Again."

A few moments of silence passed as they all caught their breath, the car descending slowly to the lobby below.

"Well." Weiss coughed into her hand, unable to meet her partner's gaze. "That was perfectly traumatizing."

"Absolutely horrible." The Faunus agreed, covering her face with one hand.

"Completely." Their team leader weakly added.

For her part, Yang couldn't fight the grin that spread across her face. "Yeah, but... we made it." Although she got three glares in response, the blonde merely shrugged. "Hey, as bad as that was, can you think of anything worse happening in the immediate future?"

"The White Fang could attack again." Blake offered absently.

"A flock of Nevermores could descend upon the school," the heiress said.

"There could be a Remnant-wide cookie shortage."

"The elevator could collapse." Penny looked around pointedly. "I didn't see a maximum weight specification but my frame is heavier than the average Human or Faunus."

Mentally, she congratulated everyone on their optimism.

Out loud, she just laughed. "Yeah, okay, and you know what? We'll handle all that like we did this: together." It took a nudge or two but soon, Yang found two hands clasped in hers, blue and amber eyes on her as her grin broadened. "If we can manage not dying of embarrassment, what are guns or Grimm going to do to us?"

It took a moment for the mortification to slide away, her girlfriends mirroring her expression and squeezing her hands in silent approval.

"You're right, Yang!" Ruby cheered, her energy soaring once more as she grabbed Penny's hand. "As long as we're together, no cookie shortage is going to threaten us! We're unstoppable!"

"Yeah." She laughed, feeling Weiss settle against her side while Blake took their team leader's distraction as an opportunity to sneak in a kiss to her cheek. "We really are."

Author's Note: Okay, so, from this point, you have two choices. Either Penny's presence tagging along with Team RWBY- or, Ruby, more specifically- means that Cinder's attempt to hack into the CCT is thwarted and, thanks to the butterfly effect, the nastier events in V3 are much more manageable, averting the Fall of Beacon and allowing our triad to remain together into the next year, with Ruby and Penny perhaps continuing a long distance relationship if Penny can't transfer to Beacon.

OR everything in V2 and V3 happen essentially the same as shown in canon, regardless.

I will probably revisit this universe at a later point, because I really want to write out the movie night date and Ruby's revenge for Yang's teasing throughout this fic... but we'll see.

Anyway, thanks for all the faves, follows, and reviews, and I hope you enjoyed this ridiculousness.