Ross got out of Trenwith with the first rays of the sun sparkling over the Cornish sea. He didn't see the light. His mind was clouded by what had happened inside the house during the night. Actually, he was frozen, he had been for a few hours. Unable to sleep, unable to think, incapable to move out of that bed. Everything was darkness. When he came back to his senses he realized that Elizabeth's arm was crushing him in the mattress. It suffocated him.

The next time he felt something was the warm heat of the sun on his face. He was a top of Darkie somehow and she was galloping full speed towards Nampara. Like if she knew he should be there as soon as posible. For a second he wanted to stop, he needed it to breathe, to wash himself, to think, but he didn't give the order and a moment later he spotted the house in the distance. The house, Nampara, his home, their home. A shake begun in his shoulders and quickly extended through his arms, his hands and legs, he felt a twinge in his chest and that made him instinctively pulled the reins and stop.

-o-

Demelza had not slept either. She knew, oh she knew even before he left, even before she gave him the letter. She had tried to stop him, but he left her anyway. During the first hours she hoped that Ross would came to his senses, expected that he would enter the house in any moment with an apology and regret. But he didn't and the hours passed. Tears appeared in her eyes, she cleaned them away at first still thinking that he'd still come back and find her sobbing and crying in bed for nothing but after a while she welcome them. She was crying in her heart, she knew what he had done, is was either that or he fell off a cliff, she couldn't choose the better option, either way she had a very good reason to cry.

When dawn came upon her her tears had washed all the self pitty she felt for herself at the begining of the night. She'd told herself that she knew what she was get in herself into. That she knew Ross was impulsive, that he sometimes acted before thinking in the consequences, that he always meant to do good for everyone who need it. Even after all this time she knew that Elizabeth kept a special place in his heart. But none of that never matter because she loved him, and because he loved her. But everything changed.

The moment she saw him through the window, slowly walking towards the backyard, he left the horse enter alone to the barn and put his head under the water. The moment Jeremy started crying in his crib next to their bed, other thoughts filled her mind. Memories of Julia. Elizabeth didn't need to be helped, she's got George. But this is was she always wanted. She blamed her. Blamed her for the death of Julia, it was her fault, and for the ruin of Francis, because she wouldn't loved him the way he deserved it and didn't help him to become a better man like she had done with Ross. How could he betray his cousin this way. How could Ross betray her?. After all they been through together, he could just push her away and for what? For love. He still loved Elizabeth after all. If she had died with Julia he would have been with her by now. That was what she has become, an annoyance. She picked Jeremy in her arms and quickly cleaned him and dressed him. When she looked through the window again Ross was nowhere to be seen. She hated him.

Ross sat in the parlour in front of a breakfast that Jinny had served him. He couldn't stop looking a spot on the table and feeling that pain on the chest that had not yet dissapeared. He couldn't figure it out what it was. He heard Demelza coming down the stairs with Jeremy, she went to the kitchen first and left the baby on the floor in a blanket near Jinny so she could have her morning meal. She poured herself a cup of tea and went to the parlour. She stood in the frame door before coming in, Ross raised his head and for a few seconds they stare at each other. When Demelza went to sit in silence at the farthest corner of the table from him he realized what that pain in the middle of his being was. It was fear. Not of her, but of this. Of this moment when he would have to look at her and she would have to know what had happened. Demelza remained silent and wasn't looking to him anymore. He tried to look any sign of sadness, of tears in her eyes but he couldn't find them. She looked pale, her long red hair untamed over her shoulders. She was so very still.

'Demelza' – he started. She seemed not to have heard him.

'Demelza, you are spilling your tea'

She stood up very suddenly and in a quick move threw the cup full of liquid to the floor. She then took the plate, and for a instant Ross thought that he was going to be the target, but the plate went near the cup with another loud noice. He watched her run off the house when Jinny came in to check what was going on, he didn't knew when he had stood up but as he pass his kitchen maid he said 'We had an accident' and went after his wife.

Demelza was walking fast towards the fields when Ross started to call for her. She didn't stop.

'Demelza, Demelza wait'- Ross was not talking loud, but she wasn't so far away for not to hear him.

'Please, Demelza stop'

Then she did. She didn't turn around, she wasn't sure of being able to control the tears that were burning behind her eyes, but most important, she wasn't sure of being able to speak to him without shouting and screaming and behaving in the most unladylike manner, and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her like that.

'We need to talk' – Now he was regreting that he didn't stop to think on the way home. Think what to say to her to make it better.

'Sure you know what happened last night, I wasn't... I didn't knew what to do, sure you understand'

'Oh yes, I understand Ross' – what she had to understand she did not know. The pain blinded her. She felt wild, like she hadn't felt in many years. He thought she was a lady, he was so wrong.

'It had to be stopped, she can't marry him. If she marries him Trenwith will be his, Geoffrey Charles, everything that belonged to Francis…'

And then she couldn't stand it anymore. She turned around and striked him. Her hand hit his face with such force and surprise that he stumbled for a second and then went straight to the ground.

'Do you think that this is what he wanted?! That you would go to bed with his wife?' – She was screaming now and Ross look up to her from the dirty floor.

'Don't lie to yourself thinking you did this for Francis, you did it for yourself, because is what you always wanted!, Well now is done, now you can have Elizabeth, and Trenwith and Geoffrey Charles and I hope all of you be very happy together.' – She turned around again and left Ross on the ground looking shocked.

While he was watching his wife leaving him, suddenly the darkness that seemed to cover his mind in the last hours started to vanish… 'What have I done?'