(The author is alone in the office completely baked out of his mind)

Yoshi3000: This is a paraody, buy the freaking show! One Piece belongs to Oda of the Chruch of One Piece! Steven Universe is bae and owned by sempai! Please review and like, I'm off to college! (The author crashes out the window running off like a madman)

A Brief Crossover in Time

*These are non-con snippets. Little pieces of stories while I am unable to write the canon Blackthorn series. Prepare for silliness and pure insanity. This is a parody, so don't take it seriously.

It was just another day in Beach City for our heroes as for once there were no monsters, no canon, and no issues nipping at them except for Garnet and Ryker. Everyone else was enjoying the sun. Priyanka was suntanning in a swimsuit that distracted Steven much to Connie's displeasure. Amethyst was having a nap, Pearl was rubbing Greg's "special lotion" on Rose's back, Lars and Sadie were having a swim, and the Homeworld Gems were all enjoying the weather from the roof of the Fryman's shop.

"Hey Lapis, where's Ryker?" Peridot asked the aquatic gem.

"He said he said that Garnet and him were doing "special energy-draining xtreme training" on Mask Island." Lapis responded provoking a twitch from Jasper.

So it all seemed fine and dandy, until out of nowhere the skie suddenly tore open exposing a hole in time and space. Everybody was wondering what's about to happen when one man fell out of the sky and into the sea. He screamed for aid stating he could not swim. It was then that Ryker and Garnet would arrive, both in a mess, and mad about being interrupted.

"Damn it! I was so close!" Ryker said before diving in and dragging the drowning man to shore.

It was then everyone (including the townspeople) got a look at him. He was a relatively tall male cross dresser who wears flamboyant ballet clothes with a swan theme. He dressed in a pink over coat and blue medieval clothes much to Steven's confusion. He wore heavy makeup much to Kofi's disgust.

"Oh thank you for saving me!" He responded shaking Ryker's hand. "I'm Bentham, but you may call me Bon Clay."

Ryker immediately recognized him because he's an okatu and thought the first thing he should do was get him back to his own universe.

"It's no issue, I'm just doing my heroic duty!" Ryker said nervously.

"I know of a way to thank you." Bon Clay said suggestively to Ryker's horror. "I'll show you all my Devil Fruit's power."

Before Ryker could say a word, he was punched into Beach City Fries and because Ronaldo left the stove on again, it blew up but nobody gave a shard (except Peedee and Mr. Fryman). Now our fighters got to their stance ready to throw down, only to see that Bon Clay using his powers to became a perfect duplicate of Ryker. Ryker walked out the wreckage more annoyed than hurt to see Bon Clay had his form.

"See with my power, I can become anyone I touch!" Bon Clay said mimicking Ryker's voice perfectly before using his left hand to turn back to normal. "But if I use my left hand, I return to normal."

"That is so cool!" Ronaldo said excitedly.

"Yeah, except the part you got me burned." Ryker said dusting off himself. "But I have to admit, it's cool to meet you."

"What about my restaurant?" Mr. Fryman yelled to Ryker.

"The stove was on when I crashed there so…" Ryker said with a lack of care. "I doubt that's my problem."

Mr. Fryman looked over to Ronaldo who the adult decided to violently shake Ronaldo by the neck upset once again his business was destroyed by his oldest son's apathy. So Bon Clay continued to shift through forms that mostly male to everyone's amusement. Then he touched Priyanka's face to which Lars asked if he could change body parts. To which Bon Clay shapeshifted into a perfect copy of Priyanka.

"Of course, I can change body parts. I believe this is a perfect match." Bon Clay said before flashing everyone there (think ala One Piece Movie 8).

It really didn't help he said that in Priyanka's voice because jaws were dropped. Mr. Fryman gawked while squeezing Ronaldo's neck tighter. Greg nearly had a heart attack, Kofi's brain went dead, Buck's shade fell off his face, and Mayor Dewey was silent. Pearl's reaction was to have her alien blood pour out of her nose secretly wish he shifted into Rose. Rose's reaction was completely out of left field saying it was perfect. Steven had a nosebleed Sanji would be proud of and his innocence shot dead by an okama of all people. Ryker had a nosebleed, but he snapped a photo with his tablet.

After everyone got a pummeling from Priyanka, Ryker had to sent him back through the dimension tear in the sky before being dragged away by Garnet. Connie tossed Steven in the ocean jumping in with him to entrap the two of them in Steven's bubble. The crowd dispersed and Greg was only man spared. And so life moved on for Beach City, with everyone trying to forget that brief moment. However, there would be "consequences" for some.

Back on Mask Island, Ryker was tossed into the ground by Garnet who crossed her arms.

"Garnet, my brown sugar angel, you're not mad, are you?" Ryker cooed not wanting to receive a pounding from her.

Garnet took off her shades and Ryker could see an evil look from her. He turned to sweat, as she held him by the collar.

"You and I are going to be training for hours, and this time I'll be leading." Garnet said to him before gaining a smirk. "And there will be no breaks until I'm satisfied."

Ryker was screwed in more ways than one, but hey, he'd be smiling after round ten. As for Steven, he got a different fate.

As the two floated down to the ocean floor, Steven woke up realizing he was alone with Connie in the ocean floor in a bubble again. Before Steven could ask, he was slammed against the wall of the bubble by Connie who had a fierce look.

"Listen to me sempai, I'm going to touch you and you're going to notice me. And you will forget what you saw earlier." Connie said holding him by his collar being close in his personal space.

Not that he was complaining. So in the end of it all, everyone won in the end except for Ronaldo.

The End or not...

However, the watermelon Stevens were quite terrified due to the amount of screaming heard from the other side of the island. One was sent to investigate, but came back so wide-eyed they dare not send any more. They tried to sleep, but the noise was getting louder and louder. Then they heard the scream, "FINAL FLASH!" and a giant golden beam was shot into the air and from there a column of smoke. Silent came for the watermelons as they finally got some sleep… As for the energy beam, who knows what happened to it?

The End for real.

(A/N: I wrote this because I didn't have my flash drive to work on anything this week and this was the end result of binging on watching Bon Clay's antics and goofing around on Google Docs. Don't worry, I'll be back on schedule soon enough.)