AN: Hello there! Let's talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi. Possibly the greatest Jedi of all time, he became a legend before he was even a knight, was a gifted fighter, but would rather talk things out, and was a nearly perfect embodiment of the Code. But humble, patient Obi wasn't always this way, and that isn't more obvious anywhere than in the novelization of the Phantom Menace. He's rash, impatient, emotional and openly dismissive of a lot of his master's choices. And this is the Phantom Menace, the moments right before he is knighted. Makes you wonder...

And then I read Wicked Thing by imaginarykat, which deals with a very Sith Obi-Wan, and it got me thinking about how perfectly the book sets this scenario up. One paragraph in the story struck the creation flint, and now here we are. If you haven't read Wicked Thing, do it. It's well worth your time and it's very, very funny. Alright, it's go time!

Chapter 1 - Nothing Good Ever Happens When Sand is Involved

As Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped out of the sleek Nubian cruiser, he shielded his eyes from the blinding suns, wincing as a sharp intake of breath filled his lungs with searing hot air, and the young man could only think of one thing.

I'm never going to set foot in sand again.

The day had already been long enough without the misery of Tatooine to look forward to, but it seemed like the Force had an especially cruel sense of humor the past few days. Or weeks. Or hell, as far back as Kenobi could remember .The man sighed as he squinted against the light, gazing across the vast desert of any sign of the trading city that was supposedly nearby, but he could see nothing but sand and sand dunes and more sand.

"What an idiotic mess," he said under his breath as he flicked his Padawan braid over his right shoulder.

"It could certainly be worse." Obi-Wan spun around quickly to face the deep voice emerging from the ship behind him. His master, Qui-Gon, came to stand beside his young apprentice, his heavy Jedi robes changed in favor of a much lighter tunic to make traveling in this heat more bearable. "It was, after all, your decision to land here."

"I didn't want this, Master, but this planet was most convenient. Nothing else made sense, given our...circumstances." Kenobi grit his teeth, absently twirling his braid around his finger. "I just want to get back home as quickly as possible so this mission can be over with."

Qui-Gon laid a heavy hand on the youth's shoulder. "As do I, Obi-Wan. Don't worry. We'll come back as quickly as possible."

"For the record, Master, I find the current plan lacking." Obi-Wan indicated to the ship behind them, reflecting the blazing suns like a mirror. "This is a top of the line, custom ship that the Trade Federation is almost certainly tracing. Getting the parts we need on a backwater planet like this is unlikely at best."

"Still we must try, young one."

"Or we could just sell the ship, and buy a smaller ship that can't be traced. Master, the parts we need are extremely costly, we'd be better off getting a new ship."

"I doubt the Queen would agree."

"What she wants doesn't matter!" Sweat dripped down his face, and it was only then that Kenobi realized that he was shouting, his heart beating strong and fast in his chest, his temperature rising quickly with his temper. He took a deep breath of the scorching air in an attempt to calm himself, but the blazing heat only served to irritate him further. "Master," he said softly, his voice straining with control. "Our priority is her safety. A new ship is safer, and it would return us to Coruscant more quickly. She can get a new pointlessly extravagant ship there, if she desires. If she has the money for a new outfit for every hour, she can certainly afford a new ship."

Qui-Gon chuckled softly, smiling gently at his young Padawan. "You're probably right, and it may come to that. Let me first at least see what is available in Mos Espa, and we'll decide what to do from there." He watched the young man take a deep breath and hold it, his jaw clenched tightly. "Obi-Wan. Be mindful of your impatience. The Force has brought us here for a reason. It will reveal itself in time."

"Yes, I-...I try, Master. I am trying."

"I know you are."

"...but don't you think this is kriffing vexing?"

Qui-Gon gave his Padawan a stern look, but the edges of his mouth turned up into a good-natured smirk. "I'll admit, this mission could have gone smoother, yes."

"Some of the trouble is your fault, Master," Kenobi said lightly, his blue eyes glinting with laughter, the tension and frustration giving way to the absurdity of it all. It wasn't that bad, was it?

"Isn't it always? I seem to attract it." The Jedi Master smiled at his student as the boy slowly relaxed into an easy laugh like he so often did. Obi-Wan was a gifted student, intelligent, methodical, and remarkably strong in the Force, and the boy knew it, which was a part of the problem. The boy had struggled with arrogance and ill-temper in the past, but had come a long way from the rash child he was back in their early missions on Mandalore. His arrogance had honed itself into a sharp wit, and as he grew older, he became more humble. However, his edge had yet to be lost, and frustration often overwhelmed him when he believed he knew best and others just didn't see it.

It was in this way that Obi-Wan and his master began clashing, loudly and often as the boy became older and closer to becoming ready to undergo the Trials. Qui-Gon often bucked against the Jedi Council, which Obi-Wan had no ability to understand. Qui-Gon was firmly rooted in the Living Force, which made his actions seem random and pointless to the bigger picture that Obi-Wan often focused on, a strict adherence to the Jedi Code guiding the Padawan's actions that made him wary of his master's apparent disregard for the Code. Despite this, the two were close, and Qui-Gon suspected that it was the boy's complete trust and comfort with his master that made him speak his mind so freely.

The Jedi Master watched his Padawan's smiling face slowly drop away into one of disgust as the ship's hatch hissed open and the loud, shrill, accented Common of their Gungan companion rang out over the empty space of the desert. "Obi-Wan..."

"I can't believe you're willing to suffer that creature."

"We have discussed this," Qui-Gon sighed heavily, his long fingers massaging his temples to preemptively intercept his oncoming headache. It wasn't working.

"You are delusional if you think that creature will help you blend in, Master. His very existence is causing a disturbance in the Force."

The Master looked pointedly at his apprentice. "Would you rather I leave him here with you?"

"...Force guide you, Master. I pray for your swift return."

Qui-Gon smiled slyly at the boy, turning away from him and going to drag the aquatic creature through the sand to the trading port that was, supposedly, somewhere hidden in the desert. Obi-Wan sighed as he watched his Master and the flailing menace start off through the sand, when one of the Queen's handmaidens, dressed in light traveling gear, sprinted past the young Jedi, a huffing Captain Panaka following at a weary jog.

Oh...oh no...

Kenobi watched in slack-jawed disbelief as the young woman talked to his Master, gesturing strongly and stamping her little foot in the sand. Qui-Gon's head bowed in what looked like defeat, and the handmaiden's demeanor shifted from forceful to pleased. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Master! Master!" Qui-Gon looked to his shouting apprentice, and his shoulders dropped. "A word, please!" The Jedi Master sighed heavily, indicating to the handmaiden and the Gungan to stay put as he made his way to his Padawan.

The Master sighed wearily, tired eyes observing Kenobi, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Yes..."

"Are you sure you want to leave me behind, Master? I really think I can help you, and it looks like you're going to need it."

"Obi-Wan..."

"Because, call me crazy, but I don't think an amphibious fish idiot and a prepubescent girl are going to be much help when you're pressed for time in a hostile environment."

"We've been over this..."

"Yes, but things are different now. Now you're babysitting."

"Yes, and I don't need to be watching after you as well." Qui-Gon instantly regretted his words when his Padawan recoiled, his blue eyes hurt, and his handsome face so easy to read. The Master sighed heavily, his hand covering his eyes. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan...that was unworthy. I am frustrated, as you are. The situation is less than ideal. I don't trust anyone else to handle matters here. It needs to be you. Anyone else would act foolishly or rashly, but you will not."

Kenobi's face was cold, hard, but after a moment his features softened, to Qui-Gon's considerable relief. "...I understand, Master."

"Thank you..."

"But I'm worried about you. This doesn't bode well at all. Com me if you need anything and I will be there." The Master smiled and patted the younger man on the shoulder, smiling wearily as he trudged back to his companions, and Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feeling that things weren't going to go as planned.

Nothing is ever easy or simple, is it?

He sighed, watching his Master and his two burdens until they disappeared behind one of the sand dunes. He didn't like this. Not any of this. Obi-Wan was inclined to blame the sand for making everyone on edge and irritable, himself included. The young Jedi turned to walk up the extended ramp into the ship, stomping his boots to shake any clinging sand off. This job was bad enough without tracking the much hated sand onto the ridiculously elaborate ship.