Content WARNINGS: Canon typical content, graphic depictions of violence, major character death(s), sexual content, rape mentions, implied alcohol abuse, heavy vampire themes, vampire kink, morally ambiguous character(s), internalized guilt, nightmares, trauma related issues, adult language.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Supernatural/Horror.

Additional notes: This is somewhat of a canon divergence story, with my own personal interpretations of canon(I've been pulling at straws here so I hope no-one takes me seriously lol.) It's full of headcanons but I tried not to go too wild with it. I just work on this for fun in my spare time so expect some flaws probably, but I try my best(I also update kind of slow to be honest.) The group dynamics are Pip/Seras(obviously), hints of Alutegra(if you squint). Some tropes include: mutual pining, friends to lovers, major dysfunction junction, star-crossed relationships and heaps of vampire angst. (Non beta'd.) Mush and angst all around.

Thank you!

x

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"You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?"

x

x

x

He noticed the girl was trembling.

She sat rigid on the cheap hotel couch, head between her knees, eyes shut tight against an invisible threat, as if the danger lurked within the dusty shadows or cornered in her own mind. That creepy fuck Alucard had seeped into the wall to go do who knows what (probably call his boss), and the police girl had crashed into her own corner of the room, Pip retreating to the opposite side, propping his boots up on an old table marred with cigarette burns.

Her shoulders had begun to shake as if she were cold.

Frankly it scared the fuck out of him too when Alucard morphed into darkness, his body blacker than the blackest shadow, as if that were possible, but the mercenary guessed that wasn't the cause of her anxiousness.

She'd been up there at the hotel when the situation had escalated. When the shit had hit the fan, so to speak.

Even her boots were shaking. His eyes slid up her legs and lingered on her pale, voluptuous thighs, and he reminded himself not to be a fucking asshole. The girl nearly had tears in her eyes, for Christ's sake. He just hadn't been alone in a room with a woman for quite some time, and he liked indulging in the company of the fairer sex once the rush of work had started to simmer down.

But Seras Victoria wasn't some prostitute or hookup or any that shit. Dabbling into that territory with her would accomplish nothing but getting his head bitten off and he hoped she couldn't read his mind. He didn't think so. . .probably not. But damn she was beautiful.

He ashed his cigarette on the carpet. Sure, he enjoyed getting a rise out of the little ex cop, but seeing that pained expression on her face unsettled him with it's ability to cause a nagging pinch of sympathy in his chest.

So far she hadn't spoken a word to him and he didn't know if she was ignoring his presence on purpose or if she was just too unraveled right now to talk. He didn't want to intrude into her space, but he didn't want to sit back and watch her suffer either. Somehow he doubted the big vampire Alucard had been any source of comfort.

She sniffled and his resolve broke. "Ey. What's the problem?"

Seras blinked and he caught a glimpse of her eyes on him, bright blue like a sunny afternoon sky, before she averted her gaze again. The first time he met her those doe eyes had knocked the wind right out of his lungs.

She let out a shuddering breath, not sounding annoyed, just defeated. "Nothing Captain."

He frowned. He didn't miss the fact that she had yet to fully look at him. "Doesn't seem like it."

She shook her head and sat up further in her seat, wringing her hands in her lap. "I, well, M-master killed. .he killed all those men. Human men. There was blood everywhere." She let out a long sigh. "I know it's to be expected but. .sometimes I get sick of it."

Part of him couldn't help but wonder how even a fledgling vampire had issues with death, since all the myths he'd read about them lately spoke of nothing but their raging thirst for blood. Big Red was obviously a sadist. But the cute little police girl. .A small town cop was not meant for this level of shit.

Hellsing had been framed by Millennium, and Alucard had only been doing his job. So what if some random assholes died?

Her voice held a watery tone. "The shots were so loud. It's like I can still hear them."

He regarded her with worry for a long moment before he crushed his smoke in the ashtray by his elbow and slid his boots off the table. Crossing the room with a slow sauntering walk, he tried not to spook her as he sat beside her on the couch, keeping a respectable amount of space between them.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Deep breaths."

He wondered if she consciously realized she shrank back away from him with unease, her gaze finally lifting up to rest on his face.

He smiled, ignoring the pity that bloomed in his chest. "Just do it. You'll feel better. Have you ever done a breathing exercise before?"

She nodded, some of the tension leaving her shoulders.

He watched the rigidity slide out of her body as she drew one deep breath in after another, holding it for a moment and exhaling slowly until her trembling started to cease.

Sometimes his men got like this, caught a glimpse of some sewer pit of a situation and ended up fractured to pieces by it. He wasn't immune to shock's influence either, he just avoided certain memories until their potency eroded away or until the nightmares ceased, if they ever fully left him at all.

Needless to say he wasn't the best at consoling strangers and unfortunately for her, he was all she had at the moment. He gave her a light pat on the back. "You're a brave girl."

She let out another breath, glancing down at her lap again, but this time the hands on her knees were steady. "I don't feel like it. I watched innocent people die. I sat back and covered my ears."

He chuckled darkly and dropped his hand. "You're in the wrong business ma cheré."

"I know," she mumbled. "I wanted to save people, not kill them. It's not fair."

Pip recalled how his snot nosed younger self had bawled to his grand-père over their mercenary blood; the old man had laughed in his face.

Life's never fair. But he couldn't bring himself to admit that ugly truth to her trusting eyes. "Those cops would have died had you been there or not Seras. It's not your problem. I shot about twelve of them myself." He smiled. "Not bad for a single evening."

She gave him the same wary look she often gave Alucard. He knew judgment when he saw it. Oh well.

"They were just following orders," she whispered. "At one point so was I. I've always had bad luck. That could've been me."

"Well it wasn't." Pip shrugged, fishing a cigarette from one of his coat pockets. "You lived, they died, c'est la vie. Death is everywhere. Hell, I make a living off of it, might as fucking well. Let it go."

He somewhat expected her to tell him to piss off, she didn't need the advice of dirty murderer, but she only peered at him with a gentle, pitying look that sent discomfort squirming along his insides.

He lit his smoke with the flick of his Zippo. "Aren't you a vampire? I hate to say it, but I thought you would have adjusted to this by now."

She scowled, her face set in a pout. The barest hint of a fang pressed into her bottom lip and he had to refrain from thinking about her lips pressed to his in the dark.

"Yes I'm a vampire but.." He was glad to hear some of the familiar feisty edge return to her voice. "I don't kill people like that. Like how a dog slaughters chickens. I don't drink blood."

Pip exhaled a haze of smoke. "Just a pack of donated blood on the rocks every once in a while ey? Why? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't want to lose my humanity yet." She glanced away from him and stared off into the dim light of the hotel room. "That's all. I know it sounds stupid. Everyone thinks it's stupid."

He shrugged. "Hey, it's your life. Live it how you want. You've got endless sunrises ahead of you. Uh. .I mean, sunsets."

Merde, he was being an idiot. He cleared his throat. "But don't listen to me too much. I'm an asshole. I just don't think you should feel guilty about the carnage you saw. It's not your fault."

She sniffled again and somehow he doubted he had convinced her of anything but at least she wasn't broken down into shakes anymore. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Are you thirsty? Oh wait." He had just been about to offer her a beer.

She smiled, the first of the evening, and the soft hints of mischief within it surprised him. "For what Captain, your blood?"

He grinned and a short laugh escaped her. "I. .I'm joking." She touched her fingertips to the tip of her nose. "Promise."

Grin widening, he threw an arm over the back of the couch, leaning into the stiff cushions and closer to her. "If you want to eat me, well I guess I can't stop you."

This time her laugh sounded more like her usual bright self. "Wow. That was easy."

The warmth of her smile made him want to say more dumb shit, as if he were seventeen again and chasing schoolgirls. "Me, easy? Yeah, probably."

A quiet scoff, a few more quiet chuckles as she looked down at her boots, shaking her head at him like he had no sense (he probably didn't) and he smelled something faintly sweet, feminine, and realized it must be her hair.

His heart had started to pound. Not from fear, oh definitely not, and a pleasant restlessness had begun to flutter in his stomach. Butterflies. He had fucking butterflies.

Maybe he was the one being the schoolgirl. "Fuck it's hot," he blurted. Godforsaken tropical country. He didn't ask to be trapped alone with the police girl in a hotel room with no air conditioning, thinking about how good it would feel. .not to just screw her into a writhing mess on the couch, but to kiss her lips for hours.

He felt her beautiful eyes on him again.

He had to get away from this cramped space for a moment. He sat up and tossed the links of his braid over one shoulder. "I think I'll go get some beer."

"By yourself?" She whispered, low enough that Pip almost hadn't caught it.

He stopped. She gave him a questioning look as he leaned closer to her, not bothering to recoil back away from him this time. "Think Big Red will notice if we're gone?" he whispered.

Her face brightened a little at that. "It doesn't matter, Master always knows where I'm at."

Well, that was creepily unsettling. He hesitated. He did not want to end up on the big vampire's shit list by any means. But Seras wanted to come with him, who was he to deny her company? It was only a stroll to the store.

He moved his cigarette to the corner of his lips and smiled. "You ever seen the ocean here? Put your jacket on."

She grinned up into his face, flashing her fangs and where he'd once found that feature intimidating, it now phased him about as much as any other personal quirk. It was nothing more than her cute smile.

They'd be fine. Just an trip to the store. It wasn't like he was running off with her or anything.

x

x

Neon lights glimmered in the dark along with the overhead stars, a million tiny lights above the black vastness of the sea.

"This place is beautiful, Captain!"

Walking beside him, Seras studied the view with the same broad smile she'd been wearing since they left the hotel room, and he couldn't say he'd grown tired of it. She'd pulled her jacket hood over her blonde head, bits of short hair framing the sides of her cheeks.

One corner of his lips tilted upwards into a whisper of a smirk. "Told you you'd like it."

True, the view was remarkable, but he'd walked these same beaches plenty of times before. He was more distracted by how the moon's pale glow caressed the sides of her face, intermingling with the colored flare of the city lights and casting her features in a glow.

A breeze cooled some of the sweat off his shoulders as he walked beside her, six pack of beer dangling from one hand. A stronger burst of wind brushed by with the salty, fishy scent of the sea along with something sweet like the lush aroma of tropical roses. He couldn't think of the last time he'd spent time on the beach with someone else like this.

Her movements had gained a cheerful pep as she walked aside the surf, boots in hand, bare feet dipped in the warm waves. She'd been pretty quiet overall, which was fine by him, he could appreciate the comfortable peace they'd settled into together.

He had to keep himself aware that despite his lovely company he was still on the job. His sidearm sat in its holster beneath his waistband. "We can't stay out here long ma chère. .'unfortunately'. .But do you feel any better?"

"Abit, yeah." She beamed at him and his chest clenched with an emotion he almost didn't recognize, a wave of affection that came on as suddenly as a shot from an arrow of Eros.

She blushed, holding the paper bag from the convenience store closer to her chest. "Thank you."

Once again it dawned on him that this girl didn't belong in the middle of some violent multi-national conflict. All his life Pip had dealt with killers, smugglers, rotten people, shit people, and sometimes he forgot about the good left in the world but the burden of bad company had gifted him with the ability to sniff out the sheep from the wolves; and innocence dripped from her every action.

He stopped himself from lighting another cigarette just yet. The nicotine could wait. "It's nothing."

There was no need for her to thank him, he had only reminded her to take a few deep breathes so she could calm down and he'd only pointed out this country's pretty shoreline as they walked back from the gas station. She shouldn't even be gallivanting around with a scumbag like him and she didn't even know it.

As she smiled at the beauty of the dark waves, he thought she was probably the type of person who enjoyed the intricacies of a melody without ever having touched an instrument. She probably like paintings. And dogs.

Not to mention the fact that her freakishly great aim with a weapon was dead sexy. He liked to rile her up about it just to watch the pink flush spread into her cheeks from the spark of her irritation, and he liked to catch the heat from her smart mouth. She tried to ignore him and yet he oftentimes found himself cornered by her after she chased him down the practice field, personally seeking him out to argue some moot point he'd already forgotten about, but it all proved he'd somehow managed to get under her skin.

She missteped and accidentally brushed her fingertips along the insides of his palm, jumping him out of his thoughts, and he watched as even that minuscule amount of contact sent a shy lopsided grin sprawling across her face. "Um, sorry. Think I stepped on a rock."

He raised an eyebrow. "It's ok. You're a klutz, I know."

"Am not!"

He decided right then and there that nothing would extinguish her spark, as long as he could help it. Of course they were allies by default, their boss controlled the payroll's fat flow of cash, but his attachment to the police girl had become separate from that, somehow.

Damn if he wasn't just some jaded human asshole but he knew while he was employed at the Hellsing organization, anyone who so much as held a gun to this girl's head better have the spare change set aside for the ferryman.

x

x

She seemed to have loosened up some by the time they returned to the hotel, chatting with him about random things while he popped open the tab and guzzled down his first few cans of beer. There was nothing on TV anyway. And it was all much better than sitting together in awkward silence.

She had never opened up to him like this before, and he was happy to talk to her for as long as she cared to waste time with him; anything to keep her away from the violence of the last few days.

Pip told her about the countries he had seen, mostly jungles, wastelands, humid hellholes at the end of the world, spewing a sanitized version of these events from the black hole grit of his memory. He told her about the rolling hills of the French countryside, fearing his war stories would bore or repel her but she seemed amused enough, listening with what seemed like genuine curiosity. She must have found him funny because he kept getting rewarded by the sweet chime of her laughter when he cracked a joke or said something ridiculous on purpose.

Seras spoke about her early years on the force, only briefly mentioning the fact that her squad had been entirely wiped out by a vampire.

"You're the only survivor?" He found himself asking as he sprawled out on the stiff hotel bed beside her.

Seras sat with her knee tucked under one leg, perching on the end of the mattress as if drifting too close to his presence would scald her. "Yeah, the lone survivor of the 'Cheddar massacre'" she smiled sadly. "If undead counts as surviving. I dunno."

He frowned, staring up at the ceiling. He'd been trying all night to be a gentleman and not steal too many glimpses of her gorgeous body, though the tingling buzz of the booze had already started to dull his thoughts. "I think it counts. You don't look like a. ." Fuck, he'd almost said a corpse. ". .You look as alive as anyone else."

"Thanks. I'm sorry," she sighed, shoulders sagging. "You probably think I'm depressing."

Well, at least she probably didn't think he was depressing if she was busy worrying about the same thing. "On the contrary, you seem pretty resilient, all things considered." He shrugged. "No need for apologies."

Seras looked down at her lap and picked lint off her skirt, the sight of her long, delicate eyelashes like lace across her porcelain skin doing strange things to his insides.

He shifted his weight on the bed and caught a whiff of his own underarms and scowled. Never in a million years did he ever think he'd long for the misty hills of England, but this heat probably made him look like a swamp monster. And drunk and dirty was not a state of being he cared to linger in for long.

Seras looked equally uncomfortable as she fanned herself with a traveling pamphlet she'd picked up from somewhere. He'd offer her a cold beer but somehow he doubted she could drink it.

The alcohol helped him tolerate the situation at least but he'd rather scrub himself clean under the mercy of the cold water before he drank any more booze.

A devious thought crossed his mind and spilled out of his mouth before he could recall it. "I need a shower, care to join me ey Seras?"

She stopped and gaped at him, opening her mouth and shutting it again. "Uhh..what?"

He grinned around a cigarette. "You 'an me oui?"

She looked like she didn't know what to do with her face before she finally settled in on a frown. "I-. .I'm not your. .girlfriend or something, Captain!"

He laughed both at her cute, frazzled reaction and at the ridiculousness of her statement. "Well I know that chère. I meant more as a way to blow off some tension. .You know."

Apparently she did not. A cherry red flush had started to spread out from the center of her cheeks down into the expanse of her neck and she avoided his gaze. "Uhh..thanks. But um. .thanks. No thanks. I mean."

He'd been half joking anyways and he'd be an idiot to think she'd actually take him up on his offer, but her flustered reaction was almost worth the disappointment. She didn't seem entirely repulsed by the idea at least.

"Ah well." Crushing his cigarette in a nearby ash tray, he peeled himself off the bed and avoided the heaps of ash and empty cans he'd tossed on the floor. "Be right back. Oh, and for the record, I don't have girlfriends. I don't date."

She swerved her eyes back towards him and he thought he caught the barest hint of surprise in her gaze. "You don't? Why not?"

She'd caught him off guard with that one. He leaned against the door frame to the bathroom in the cramped space. "I. .well.."

How could he explain to her that any woman with a sense of self preservation took one look at his mercenary lifestyle and ran in the opposite direction? At first he thought she'd been mocking him but her softly questioning tone and demeanor proved otherwise.

"I. .travel too much," he finally stated.

Stupid. But she seemed encouraged enough by his answer, if the curious expression set on her pink face was any indication. "Oh."

Despite her decline of his offer he felt the weight of her stare and he let himself peer back at her with equal force, arms crossed over his chest as he slouched sideways against the door-frame. The hesitant curiosity and hints of longing in her face fanned the first few embers of desire down south and he found himself grateful to be wearing loose pants. Not that he was hard off a few seconds of prolonged eye contact or anything, no; he wasn't that desperate, not even the heartfelt magic from a blue eyed goddess could stir up his blood that easily.

Right? He broke the gaze and cleared his throat. "I'm showering. I'll be right here if you need me. I mean if anything happens."

She had looked away from him again, still rosy faced as she glanced at the small tv screen in the corner with its shitty reception. "Ok Captain. Thanks."

He wished he could get her to stop thanking him for everything, and he wished he could avoid thinking about what the mountains of pale, softly yielding flesh under his fingertips would feel like, her nipples the same dusky pink as her lips. He'd kill someone for the chance to fuck her, dammit, and he wished his dick understood the concept of playing with fire. He should have kept his mouth shut. He was goddamn drunk.

x

x

Seras lay curled on her side in the center of the bed, hands interwoven together near her face, eyelashes the same light color as her eyebrows.

Dripping water on the floor, Pip hovered beside the mattress as he lit his last cig of the evening. The situation was dire, he hoped they found a way to weasel themselves out of the country soon because he was down to his last pair of clean boxers and his threadbare khaki shorts probably made him look like a cheap ass.

He glanced down at his slumbering companion and understood why painters chose to depict scenes of pretty women in repose so often, her vulnerable, sweet face bordering on angelic. Ironically enough she could bludgeon a man to death bare handed if she so chose; she didn't need the protection of some mercenary at all. Yet asleep like this she appeared as mortal as anyone else.

He let out a long sigh as he wrung his hair out with a towel. Waking her from slumber once daylight came around was a nearly impossible task. He supposed he could lift her and carry her to her coffin next door, but he almost didn't have the heart to do it.

Plus he didn't want to barge into Alucard's cold dark room. The big vampire had claimed the large adjacent suite to himself when they'd first arrived at least twelve hours ago and the mere presence of the bloodsucker plunged the atmosphere of the bedroom into a chilled underworld. Pip had no desire to step a single toe in there.

He wondered if the creepy bastard would get ticked off if Pip kept his fledgling in his bed? A shudder danced down his spine. They appeared to be locked in some sort of weird, Master-Servant relationship but maybe that was some vampire bullshit more than anything sexual, and she seemed afraid of him at times. What if he perceived her as a daughter? That could be even worse.

He leaned over the bed, hair falling across one shoulder and throwing water across the bed as he moved to scoop her up.

Her eyes opened halfway before he so much as nudged her and he stopped. "No," she mumbled. "No. Bad dreams are whispering. It's about the snake hands, coyote."

A prickling sense of unease raised the little hairs on the back of his neck and the instinct to freeze tightened his breath.

She buried her face in the pillow and fell out again, chest rising and falling softly, the corner of her lips shining with a hint of drool. Oblivious.

A cold shiver raked through his body with an almost painful intensity as he heard what sounded like a slab of concrete slide across the floor in the other room.

His hand flew to the gun on the nightstand. Another echo of behemoth weight and he finally realized it was Alucard shutting the lid of that huge black coffin.

Pip left his pistol alone and dropped his shoulders, settling back into unease. So they weren't under attack but he couldn't say he was exactly comforted either.

He was no stranger to risky scenarios but this was a new level of dangerous; he really was a human running amok with two vampires, the weakest link in the chain for once in his life.

He rubbed the back his head with another tired sigh. Looks like he would have to share a bed with a woman he hadn't slept with, bizarre as that was, but he didn't feel like being alone in the dark anyway. Maybe her presence would protect him from any stray boogieman. Fear, unease, discomfort had started to press in on his chest thanks to all this spooky bullshit.

Finally he surrendered his hesitation and fell into the sheets, hoping she wouldn't perceive him as a threat and pummel him in his sleep. As he stretched his sore limbs beside her, he found himself wondering if her sleep gibberish had any meaning or if he'd just heard nonsense, like brain soup. He had a recurring dream about the Marlboro man chasing him with a machete fairly often and he doubted that held any sort of deep insight.

He drifted off with the distant thoughts.

x

x

Sirens wailed like ghosts and jerked Pip out of his slumber. The hotel room settled under a blanket of darkness, a crescent moon visible through one dingy window, and the mercenary wondered how long he had slept. The cries of the sirens broke him out in a cold sweat, setting him on edge until he reminded himself it was just mundane city noise like dogs barking or the dull roar of traffic. The red digits of the alarm clock ticked into another minute: 9:04 p.m

He shook his head, a headache forming behind his good eye. His mouth tasted like dry socks, one of his arms had fallen numb from an uncomfortable position and he wanted a cigarette.

He tried to sit up and felt the weight of a soft body pressed against his right side, a floral scent like jasmine enticing his senses.

The limb that was tingling madly was wedged beneath a woman's shoulders, his hand clutching the center of her back. They must have been this way for hours, he couldn't feel the tips of his fingers anymore or the texture of her shirt beneath them.

His thoughts muddled together and he tried to recall his current location (what country? what city?) and a fresh flash of panic tightened his chest when it dawned on him he couldn't reach his pistol.

He looked to his left and the flash from a car's headlights caught the shine of the beer cans scattered across the nightstand, glinting like fool's gold. The cold black metal of his Glock rested beside the mess along with the TV remote and he relaxed with a sigh.

The memories of the previous evening finally caught up to his frazzled mind and he remembered the identity of his bed partner, the little police girl. He didn't understand how they ended up together like this. He hadn't slept with her, right? No. No, that he definitely would have remembered.

Some of her longest strands of bangs had fallen over one side of her forehead and he was struck with the urge to plant a light kiss to her temple. He felt like he could cradle her against his chest and dive back into a slumber deep enough to rival the dead.

He frowned, irritated by this new, weird impulse to cuddle up to this girl he barely fucking knew. Surely they'd find a way back to England soon, before he descended into ridiculous behavior. Still, it almost pained him to untangle himself from her body.

As he lifted his arms from around her sides, her eyes opened within an inch from his face, hazy and confused.

He paused. Something about the pale, unblemished complexion of her skin and yellow hair reminded him of the dainty wildflowers covering the roadsides of rural France. "Good evening mignonette," he whispered.

Seras jerked backwards as if slapped and he caught her waist before she plowed into the wall and hurt herself.

"It's me," he whispered, trying his best to sound neutral so she wouldn't deck him in the face. "Captain Bernadotte."

Gripping his shoulders, she stared at him with dawning realization, blue eyes wide beneath her fringe. "C-captain, what…"

Her nails dig into his skin as her gaze wandered from his face, down his bare chest and quickly back up again.

She scrambled out of his arms and off the bed away from him, nearly tripping over her own feet in the process and he let her go.

"We shared the mattress," he shrugged. "Sorry. The couch wasn't tall enough for me. Tried to move you but it didn't work out."

Her uniform clung to her body in a rumpled mess, one side of her shirt hiked higher than the other and she tugged it back down again. "Why aren't you dressed?!"

He glanced down at his chest and saw bare skin, his dog-tags hanging from his neck, and ashes he'd dropped on himself at some point. Nothing but boxers on. He'd probably been half asleep and kicked his shorts off during the night out of habit.

He reached over and grabbed the remote, searching for his lighter amongst the trash of the bedside table. The room was too hot even now. "You're lucky, usually I sleep in the nude."

He caught her glare out the corner of his eye as he flicked the TV on for some light; he always loathed instant harsh light as soon as he woke up more than anything else. "I'm joking. I'm not used to sharing a bed and it's hot. I forgot about you."

She rolled her eyes but a hint of a smile returned to her face. "Well. .you're an idiot. Can you put your pants back on at least?"

He was already reaching for his shorts on the floor before she finished her sentence, thinking how this English girl's scandalized attitude towards the human body could do would some loosening up. She acted like she'd never seen a man's legs or chest before. She was cute, truly.

She held her arms crossed across her front and shifted her weight from side to side. "We didn't. .do anything right?"

He froze, unable to stop himself from teasing her. "Do what? I don't know what you mean?"

She scowled at him. "Oh yes you do, pervert. Never mind. I know we didn't."

"Pesky impure thoughts eh?"

He chuckled as another blush lit up her face. She glared up at the ceiling. Poor girl, he really had to leave her alone before she exploded. She was just so innocent and she made it easy.

He laid on his back and he pulled his pants up his legs, arching his middle as he looped his belt through the waist; pretending not to notice how her eyes fell on him and lingered as he did so.

Stopping himself from reading her expression, he searched for a new topic, something that would stop him from acknowledging the glimmers of want seeping into her stare, a disarming look like she wanted him and she didn't even know it.

Now decently covered, he rummaged around the nightstand again for his cigarettes, using the nagging nicotine monkey on his back as a distraction against the first onslaught of desire. 'Dammit girl. Please don't look at me like that. You don't want me, remember?'

He felt the slightest shift of the mattress as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Pip sighed as the familiar taste of tobacco filled his lungs and emptied into the stale room. "Sleep well? Any bad dreams?"

The skin over her eyebrows wrinkled. "Actually. . I don't think so." She shrugged, and a small smile graced her lips, her cheeks still tinted pink. "I slept fine. You?"

He smiled at her. "Fine. ."

Her eyes brightened. "Me too."

Quiet seeped into the room, only the muted chatter of the television drifting through the thick air as a news reporter repeated a sanitized summary of yesterday's events in Portuguese. Frowning, Pip turned the channel.

Seras had eased back in to a shy mood but glanced at him with a smile and a raised brow. "I do hope you clean up after yourself before we leave. Pig."

Beer cans lay across the end-table, the sole ashtray flooded with discarded cigarettes, and some of his old clothes lay in a heap across the floor. She had a point.

He laughed despite himself. He hoped they would get out of here soon, before the police girl started to fully harp on him like she was his wife. But she was cute. A fucking sweet girl.

x

x

"Have fun with my servant?"

Pip warily eyed the vampire across from him. During the night some crazy Iscariot fuck had given them a free Vatican issued plane, for reasons Pip didn't fully understand, but he knew when to take what was offered and shut his mouth. They were finally safe in the sky on their way back to London. The stars flickered above black clouds with an endless cold light, stoic witnesses to the earth's endless suffering.

The vampire grinned, pleased with the return trip all thanks to the sun's absence, Pip supposed.

Pip gripped his seat. He felt sweat trickle down the back of his neck. He almost wished that he could ride below in the cargo with Seras. Hell even in a coffin. Anywhere but alone with the red cloaked, gun wielding maniacal No Life King. Murder in heinous ways was a mere whimsy to this bastard, and the Captain knew it. Death seeped from the vampire in waves and Pip felt the revulsion down into his pores.

Pip cleared his throat, tongue suddenly gone dry. He hated to be such a pussy, but Alucard took first place to Scariest Motherfuckers Ever, and Pip had known some bad ass cut throat killers in his career. Well Alucard was the baddest. "Come again?"

That unnerving grin remained, and Pip couldn't see his eyes behind those round rimmed glasses but he felt his crushing gaze, as if a whole army was staring him down on a red soaked battlefield. "You heard me Frenchman. Did you have fun shacked up with my servant?"

Pip shrugged and averted his eyes, trying to stay casual though his hands trembled. His balls drew up to his crotch. "I. . .guess. Seras is a good girl."

He didn't know what else to fucking say and he stuck a trembling hand in his pocket, fishing for his lighter, though he kept his eyes trained on Alucard. Maybe the bastard wouldn't chomp him to bits if he promised to never speak to her again? 'Yeah right. If he wants you dead, you're dead.' And he doubted he could keep such a promise, anyway.

"A new French toy for the Police Girl," Alucard cackled in his dark voice. "She's a nightwalker, and believe me Captain, you think you are playing with her but she'll eat you whole."

Fear sat like a brick of lead in his stomach. Alucard would take a hit from a 9mm like a bunny attack on a crocodile. Pointless.

Pip sighed. 'Fucking vampires. What the fuck have I gotten myself into.'