The first time that Megamind doesn't kidnap her, it is–

–sort of jarring.

(he always kidnaps her for his evil plots, always; that's how it goes)

But. She just got out of the hospital a few days ago, maybe he's–giving her a break?

He could have rescheduled the evil plot, though; that's what he's always done before, when she was indisposed, or had some sort of family or work emergency, and Roxanne never realized before how weirdly flattering that is, not until she's sitting on her couch with a bandage wrapped around her burnt arm, watching Megamind unveil his latest machine of evil without her.


The second time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne thinks it might just be a mistake. She's practically completely healed by now; the doctors say the laser burn on her arm won't even scar. And she's supposed to be getting a firsthand account of the battle between the city's hero and supervillain–so she drives downtown anyway.

She gets to the scene in time to film the battle, but Megamind is–way off his game, really: his attacks on Metro Man seem oddly vicious and reckless, more reckless, even, than Megamind usually is.

Roxanne is expecting, at any moment during her broadcast, to be snatched up by the giant robot, but–

–well, Megamind definitely sees her, because he says her name and then his attack falters just long enough to let Metro Man swoop in and destroy the robot.

So Roxanne figures it's an accident, that kidnapping her was a part of the plan that Megamind didn't have a chance to implement before the battle's premature end.


The third time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne realizes that this is a pattern.

(She tells herself that the nasty hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach is relief)


The fourth time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne admits to herself that she's annoyed. At missing the story!

(the story, yes, only at missing the story)

What the hell is the machine he's operating supposed to even do? No one knows, because there's no Roxanne there to prompt the requisite monologue and Megamind and Metro Man get too caught up in their stupid not-even-real-banter and Metro Man destroys the machine before Megamind announces its purpose.

See, Roxanne seethes, this is why you need me there.


The fifth time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne reflects bitterly that at least he hasn't elected to start kidnapping someone else.

She pictures Megamind with a different damsel, a real damsel, the kind who has long blonde hair and screams when she's supposed to and doesn't make sarcastic comments–

–and she tells herself that the hot flare of feeling that goes through her at the thought of some other girl in Roxanne's chair–her chair, hers, damn it–the feeling that makes her clench her jaw and ball her fists–that's anger, just anger, not jealousy, definitely not.

She's just angry at the thought of being replaced, at the way that Megamind has just–excluded her from the game, like they're kids on the playground: girls can't play.

It isn't fair, and she is angry.


The sixth time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne realizes that she's worried.

She obviously never noticed before, but–

–Metro Man is way less careful with his powers without someone there to watch him up close.

(He throws Megamind off of a building; Roxanne, giving the live commentary on camera, only stops herself from screaming because she is frozen in fear.)

The brainbots catch Megamind.

Roxanne is apparently the only one who thinks that this is a problem.


The seventh time Megamind doesn't kidnap her, Roxanne actually cries.

It's not one of her prouder moments.

This is ridiculous, she tells herself as she sobs into a glass of wine, sitting on the floor next to her couch, watching a replay of her own broadcast at midnight. Stop crying; it's not like he–broke your heart or something.

(When Roxanne was a small child, her mother took her to the beach, and after the usual warnings about sunburn and strangers and riptides, her mother told her about the seventh wave: waves come in groups her mother said and the seventh wave's always the strongest. watch out for the seventh wave.)

The realization–

(broke your heart)

–hits Roxanne like a seventh wave, knocks the breath from her lungs, makes her clutch at the edge of her coffee table for support.

Breathe, she tells herself, keep breathing, but Megamind is on the television screen getting punched through a wall and he hasn't spoken to her in months–

(breathe)

–and he's going to end up getting himself hurt, really hurt, like this, maybe even killed–

(breathe. breathe. breathe.)

–and Roxanne isn't going to be able to do anything about it because she isn't going to be there to help and she loves him

She loves him oh god she's in love with him what is she going to do–

–and it feels more than a little bit like drowning.

(keep breathing)


It's shockingly easy to convince the prison staff to let her talk to Megamind. She doesn't even have to lie directly. She just holds up the tape recorder she brought with her, smiles her best Professional Reporter (Definitely Not Here On Personal Business Nope Not Me) Smile, and asks if it would be possible to ask Megamind a few questions.

He's already seated behind the double glass of the visiting area when she walks in, his elbows on the table, the fingertips of his handcuffed hands pressed together.

(when she sees him, Roxanne's heart and stomach do a horrible little flip.)

His eyebrows go up when he sees her–surprise; he's surprised to see her, Roxanne thinks, and mentally slaps herself when she spends several seconds internally dithering over whether surprise is a good sign or a bad sign.

She sits in the chair across from him, looks at him through the glass.

"Megamind," she says, eventually, when he doesn't say anything for a long moment.

"–Miss Ritchi," Megamind says, tone sort of blank, and doesn't add we meet again, the way he usually does, oh god, now that probably is a bad sign–

Roxanne puts her tape recorder down on the table.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions," she says, "if that's all right."

Megamind's eyes narrow slightly.

"No camera?" he asks.

Roxanne smiles her Professional Reporter Smile again.

"The station just needs a voice over," she lies.

Megamind tilts his head, looking closely at her, and Roxanne recognizes that expression: he can tell she's lying, but he's not sure why, or what about, exactly.

Roxanne raises her eyebrows, gestures pointedly at the tape recorder.

Megamind just looks at her for another long moment, and Roxanne thinks he's going to say no, but–

He gestures, graceful and two-handed, handcuffs clinking, and leans back in his chair, a clear invitation to continue.

Roxanne pushes the record button on the machine.

(she is terribly conscious of the way they're not alone, of the guards by the doors and the security camera in the corner of the ceiling)

"Megamind, it's no doubt come to the attention of KCMP's viewers that you've recently altered your methods of attack on Metro Man," Roxanne says, ignoring the way she wants to run from the room. "Would you care to share the reasons behind the change?"

There is a beat of silence and absolute stillness from Megamind, and then he arches an eyebrow.

"I've always made it a point to continually alter my methods of attack on Metro Mahn," Megamind says blandly, as if he doesn't know what she's talking about, and okay, now Roxanne is mad.

"Really," she says flatly. "I never noticed."

Megamind gives her a brief look of irritation and then the blank mask falls over his features again.

"So," Roxanne says through gritted teeth, "what's the reason for this latest little alteration, Megamind?"

"I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific, Miss Ritchi," Megamind says politely. "I was under the impression that you were unable to see any alterations in my plans."

Roxanne leans forward until her nose is almost touching the glass–she wants to reach through it and shake him.

"You," she hisses, "know exactly what I damn well mean."

Megamind tips his head curiously at her.

"You–seem angry," he says, sounding honestly baffled. "I would have thought you'd–be pleased?"

Roxanne growls in frustration. Pleased.

"We have a routine," she says in a furious undertone. "You can't just–"

"A routine that you complain about," Megamind says, leaning forward now as well, frowning, "ceaselessly!"

"–can't just drop me without warning, it's–it's impolite!"

"Impolite," Megamind says flatly. "Not kidnapping you is impolite."

Roxanne's hands curl into fists, nails digging into her own palms.

"That's not what I–"

"And, here I thought, all this time," Megamind says, "that it was the kidnapping that was impolite. My mistake!"

"You could have at least given me a reason," Roxanne says in a furious undertone.

Megamind pauses for half a second, and then he shrugs and leans back in his chair, glancing away from her.

"I got bored with you," he says, offhand and casual.

That–it hits Roxanne like a blow, that comment does, knocks the breath out of her, makes her jerk backwards in her chair.

(she never screams for him, never acts like a proper hostage, like a real damsel in distress–too hard edged, too difficult and unfeminine and cold and–)

"Fuck you," Roxanne says, jamming her finger down on the button of the tape recorder, turning it off.

(to her absolute horror, she feels tears start to rise in her eyes)

She shoves the tape recorder in her bag and stands, turning away from Megamind. She is damned if she's going to let him see her cry. She just has to hold it together long enough to get out to her car and–

"He doesn't love you, you know."

Megamind's voice, behind her, low and furiously controlled. Roxanne stops, blinks, tears mercifully receding.

She turns back to him. Megamind is leaning forward in his chair again, fingers gripping the edge of the table tightly.

"Who doesn't?" Roxanne asks slowly.

"Metro Man," Megamind snarls, face twisting. "He doesn't love you."

Roxanne–considers and discards several possible responses, from wow sudden subject change to I can't believe you finally noticed to yes you idiot of course I know.

"What makes you say that?" she asks, instead.

Megamind shrugs, the motion sharp and twitchy. He looks away from her, his mouth flattening out.

"He didn't come to see you when you were in the hospital," he says.

"…how do you know that?" Roxanne asks.

Megamind flushes, doesn't look at her, still.

Okay. That's–

(did Megamind come to the hospital while she was there? where was he hiding; how did she not notice–)

"He wasn't even worried about you!" Megamind says. "He wasn't even–he didn't even–" he looks at her, finally, expression full of bewildered fury, "he wasn't even–he gave an interview, right after, and he was smiling, and he didn't even–" he stops, shaking his head rapidly from side to side.

"Megamind," Roxanne says slowly, "did–did you stop kidnapping me because I–because I got hurt?"

"You aren't supposed to get hurt!" Megamind bursts out, as if he can't stop himself. "You aren't ever supposed to–failsafes and safety precautions and careful planning and then he burns you anyway, showing off with his laser vision and if he loved you, he would have been careful with you! He would have felt guilty, he would have wanted to make sure it never happened again, should have–have offered to give it all up for you; that's what someone who loved you would have done; that's what I would–"

Megamind cuts himself off, eyes going wide, face going pale.

Roxanne–stops breathing. She can feel her heart beating in her throat, hard and fast and rapid with hope.

"You–?" she manages to say.

"…fuck," Megamind says, very quietly, looking as though he might be sick.

Roxanne sways a little.

"…okay," she says, trying to catch her breath, "okay, this is–"

(he loves her, too? he loves her, too; Roxanne actually feels dizzy with how overjoyed she is)

"–I think this is a conversation," she continues, "that we should–have–privately."

Megamind swallows visibly, the muscles of his long throat working.

(dear god, that's–incredibly distracting–)

He nods, the motion small and jerky. Roxanne nods back and turns to go, avoiding the stares of the guards beside the door.


Roxanne doesn't remember the walk to her car, doesn't remember the drive back to her apartment. She gets there somehow, though, rides the elevator up to her floor and unlocks her door, goes inside, puts her purse down on the coffee table in the living room, and then very nearly jumps out of her skin because Megamind is on her balcony, standing at the door.

She presses a hand to her pounding heart and opens the door for him.

"What–what are you doing here?" she asks–good lord; how did he get here so fast?

(jesus, he's still in his prison uniform; he didn't even stop to change–)

"…did I–misinterpret the–implication of 'conversation we should–have privately'?" Megamind asks, hesitating in the doorway, frowning uncertainly.

"No!" Roxanne says, stepping back in invitation and then grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside when he doesn't take the hint. "No I–just wasn't–expecting you so–uh–soon…"

She trails off, realizes she's still holding his wrist, and releases him abruptly. Megamind looks down at his own hand as if he doesn't recognize it.

"…do you–want to sit down?" Roxanne asks, after a very long, very awkward moment of silence.

Megamind looks sharply at her, his expression almost suspicious, as though he thinks she's trying to trick him somehow. Something in her face must reassure him, though, because after a moment he moves, abrupt and ungraceful, to the couch, and sits down. Roxanne sits, too, turning to face him. He stares at the coffee table intently, frowning at it as though its presence personally offends him.

Roxanne–swallows nervously. This is–considerably more uncomfortable than she expected, and Megamind's body language is really beginning to freak her out: did she misunderstand, back at the prison, what he was trying to–well–not trying to say?

"I–" she starts.

"You need to be careful," Megamind says to her coffee table. "You need–to be careful with–Metro Man. I know it probably doesn't mean much, coming for me–you–you aren't even going to believe me, most likely, but–he isn't–he isn't always–safe. To be around. When we were–when we were children, and then when we were teenagers, there–" he begins to rearrange the coasters on her coffee table with rapid motions, "–there were a few–incidents."

"…incidents?" Roxanne asks.

"Yes," Megamind says, still not looking at her. He puts down the last coaster; he's made a sort of star pattern. "And it–it wasn't always just–me–that got hurt, either."

Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

"You–knew each other when you were kids?" she asks.

Megamind glances up at her.

"He hasn't told–?" he presses his lips together. "Yes, I–it was. Convenient, really, I suppose. For his family. Having someone around who it was–easy to point fingers at, when things went wrong, when–"

"–when there were incidents," Roxanne says quietly, cold creeping around her heart.

"Yes," Megamind says, and smiles bitterly. "Really: little blue freak, tends to set things on fire or make them explode by accident? Obvious, isn't it, whose fault it is when someone gets their arm wrenched out of the socket, or when someone winds up with a collapsed lung from being pushed too hard, or when someone gets–" he swallows, glances away from Roxanne, "–burned with laser vision."

"That wasn't your fault, Megamind," Roxanne says softly, fingertips ghosting over the place on her arm where the twin laser beams from Metro Man's eyes seared her.

Megamind looks at her again.

"Yes, it was," he says simply. "I should have realized that you weren't safe, should have–I–" he stops himself, shakes his head. "You know, I've always thought that's why his family pushed so hard for the whole superhero thing? Keep him occupied, focus his–energy–in an–acceptable direction." He gestures twitchily towards himself.

"An–acceptable direction?" Roxanne asks. "You mean–?"

Megamind shrugs.

"Every hero needs a villain," he says dismissively. "The newspapers owned by the Scott family always were the most eager to use the super villain label for me, when I was young and–it's–well, it's convenient, like I said, the–the way things have–I'm harder to hurt than a human, for one thing, which makes everything–simpler, and–I–I'm not–really sure why you're looking at me like that…?"

He trails off uncertainly, looking closely into her face, drawing back slightly against the arm of the couch. And Roxanne can't find the words to answer him, can do nothing more than shake her head in horrified denial.

Megamind, watching her, tilts his head, a little frown of confusion appearing between his eyebrows, as though he can't understand why she's so upset about this, and that–that makes it all even worse, somehow.

"It's just–destiny," he says quickly, "there's–no need to–be concerned and–really, all of–that–that's not terribly important; I'm only telling you this so that you'll–you'll know to–to be careful, Roxa–Miss Ritchi, I–please–please be careful–" he gestures, clearly agitated.

Roxanne catches his hand and his breath hisses through his teeth, an almost pained noise, as if she's burned him with her touch.

"Megamind, I'm not–I'm not with him," she says, trying to reassure him.

Megamind's fingers tighten around hers, a look of panic flashing across his face.

"You broke up with him?" he asks, eyes wide.

"No!" Roxanne says, "No, I–I was never with him, Megamind; we were never together."

He stares at her for a long moment.

"Breathe," Roxanne adds sharply, because the way he's holding his breath is really beginning to worry her.

Megamind takes a shaky breath.

"You're not with him," he says.

"No, I'm not," Roxanne says, keeping her voice calm.

"You were never with him."

"No, I wasn't."

"Oh, thank god," Megamind bursts out.

"Do–do you really think he's–that dangerous?" Roxanne asks. Megamind's obvious fear has sort of gotten to her–just thinking about the kind of damage someone with Metro Man's powers could do if he wanted to is–really terrifying, honestly and–

"No, I–" Megamind stops, makes a noise of frustration, "I don't know. I don't–think he would–when were–younger, sometimes, but he doesn't really–not any more–mostly I've been worried that–he could hurt you on accident, but. I don't think he'd–on purpose–he has–better control, now. But. But he's never–he's never–had something he–really wanted–taken away from him. I don't know how he'd react. But if you really weren't ever together and he's not in love with you then that's completely irrelevant and–anyway." He stops, cheekbones and ears flushing, and glances away, pulling his hand from her grasp. "Sorry. About–panicking."

"Because you were worried about me," Roxanne says.

Megamind makes a noise that could be interpreted as a sound of assent.

"You know, I didn't really ask you here to have a conversation about Metro Man," Roxanne says after several long seconds.

"No," Megamind says quietly, face still turned away. "No, I suppose you didn't."

"Back at the prison," Roxanne hesitates, then goes on, "back at the prison, you said–you said that someone who loved me would have–been careful with me."

Megamind is perfectly still, not breathing again, not looking at her.

"You said that," Roxanne continues, trying to keep her voice from shaking, "and then you talked about safety precautions. For me."

She pauses, waits.

"Yes," Megamind whispers. "Yes, I did."

Roxanne's heart is beating so hard it almost hurts.

"You said that someone who loved me would have wanted to make sure I never got hurt again," she says.

"Yes," Megamind admits in a whisper.

"And you were lying, weren't you," Roxanne says, "when you said that you stopped kidnapping me because you got bored with me. You–you stopped because you didn't want me to get hurt again. Didn't you."

This time, Megamind doesn't even answer, not out loud, but Roxanne can see, in profile, his lips shaping the word yes.

"Megamind," Roxanne says, and now her voice is shaking and she cannot stop it, "Megamind, if I asked you to give–all of it, the game, the whole thing–if I asked you to give it all up for me, would you do it?"

"Yes," Megamind says, closing his eyes, shuddering as he wraps his arms around his own chest, "yes, I would."

"Why?" Roxanne asks, heart in her throat.

Megamind turns to her then, eyes going wide, anguish in his face.

"You–you know why," he says miserably.

And–she does, oh god, she does know why–

"Tell me anyway?" she whispers.

Megamind's face flickers through several different expressions, too fast to read, and then settles into defeat.

"Because I love you," he says, with such utter hopelessness that Roxanne's heart almost breaks.

And Roxanne cannot stop herself from reaching for him, cannot stop herself from climbing nearly into his lap and crowding him up against the arm of the couch.

He's stiff and awkward in her arms, all elbows and angles as Roxanne kisses the sharp corner of his jaw and presses her face to his neck and breathes in, deep and shaky.

She feels him go completely still, and she leans back so that she can look at his face.

Roxanne has never seen that particular expression on Megamind's face before, a heart wrenching combination of confusion and fear and hope.

"I love you, too," she says, and oh, Roxanne has never seen that expression on Megamind's face before, either, has never seen that expression on anyone's face before, certainly never imagined that someone would ever look at her the way Megamind is doing right now.

(like she's lit up and shining, like she's the most beautiful thing in the entire universe)

It is too much to bear, him looking at her like that without kissing him.

So she kisses him.

And he's still all angles and elbows, but he's also all sweet responsive lips parting beneath her own and shy uncertain hands stroking through her hair and cupping her face and this is Megamind, letting her kiss him, kissing her back, and Roxanne cannot regret the sharp edges of him, not even when he turns his head too quickly and knocks the point of his chin into her cheekbone.

Roxanne makes a noise that's more startled than pained, and Megamind jerks his head back and almost pokes her in the eye with his nose.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Megamind says, looking so comically horrified at himself that Roxanne bursts into laughter, leaning her forehead down against his chest.

Her hands are still on either side of his face, though, and she feels him blushing, his skin going hot.

"Sorry," Megamind mutters, "I'm–clearly pretty terrible at this."

"Shut up, you're perfect," Roxanne says affectionately, straightening up to look at him, thumbs stroking over his heated cheekbones. "Kiss me again."

He does, and it goes a bit more smoothly the second time around.


"Megamind," Roxanne says, after the second kiss, after a lot more kisses, so many that she's lost count.

"Hmm?" he says, fingertips tracing her lips.

"How did you know Metro Man didn't visit me in the hospital?"

Megamind bursts into laughter.

"You," he says, shaking his head at her and grinning, "you are such a–nosey reporter!" he kisses her briefly, still laughing, and then leans back, looking up at her with a smile. "I have–a holowatch," he says, "something I made; it projects a hard-light overlay on top of the wearer's physical form, lets me look like different people."

"Hard-light, really?" Roxanne asks, not hiding how impressed she is.

Megamind gives her a surprised, gratified look.

"Yes," he says.

"So you used the holowatch to look like–what, a doctor? So that you could check on me?"

Megamind shrugs.

"A doctor, a nurse, a janitor–I was there–ah–pretty much the whole time you were there? I had to be a lot of different people…"

He makes a startled noise as Roxanne kisses him again without warning, and then makes a quiet sound of pleasure, melting into the kiss, which turns, quite naturally, into another kiss, and then another, and another.


"Roxanne," Megamind says, some time later, when they've stopped for a moment to catch their breath, "are–are you asking?"

"Asking?" Roxanne says, fiddling with one of the buttons on his uniform, "Asking what?"

(she undid several of the buttons earlier, when she was investigating the perfectly fascinating way Megamind gasps when she kisses his neck, and now she's wondering if she might try undoing another)

"Earlier, you–you said," Megamind makes a contented humming noise as Roxanne kisses his temple, "you asked if I–if I would–give up–the game–if you asked. And so I was wondering–if–if you were asking?"

Roxanne sits back at looks at him, round-eyed and caught off guard. She looks at him for a long moment, at his wide green eyes and kiss-flushed mouth, at the faint pink blush on his cheekbones, at his open, guileless expression.

"I–I think–that I am," she says slowly. "It is a–request, though, I am–asking, not–not telling, Megamind; it's–it's not an ultimatum, I wouldn't–"

"All right," Megamind says.

"…all right?" Roxanne repeats, not expecting him to–just–agree, just like–

"It will take a little time, though,: Megamind says worriedly, "to stop; I won't be able to do it all right away, you understand–"

Roxanne tips her head, laughs.

"How difficult is it to just stop attacking Metro Man?" she asks.

"Oh!" Megamind says, "oh, are you thinking–? No, no, that's the easiest part, of course, I–" he gestures, "I meant the rest of it."

Roxanne looks at him curiously.

"What rest of it?" she asks.

"Well, I–sort of–manage things," Megamind says, "er–crime? Crime things. In Metrocity."

Roxanne blinks at him.

"Crime things," she repeats, "–which crime things?"

Megamind winces.

"All of them?" he says apologetically. "Purity guidelines for drugs and regulations for arms dealers and rules about acceptable locations for gang violence and–um–withdrawing my–presence–completely from the underworld is going to be–complicated and probably unavoidably messy, but if you want me to, I'll–"

Roxanne puts her fingers lightly on his lips and Megamind obediently stops talking.

She thinks furiously for a moment, head spinning. She hadn't thought that he was–she'd assumed the supervillain thing just consisted of evil plots and kidnapping her, but if he really has that kind of authority over–

"Okay," she says, "okay, that–that actually sounds like–" She swallows, moves her hand so that it's resting on Megamind's shoulder, helping her to balance. "That actually sounds like what you do is–really important and. Good? For the city? Is that–is that what you're trying to do?"

Megamind, looking at her with worried eyes, nods.

"I–some of it is important, I think," he says nervously, "and I'd–I don't know, Roxanne, I'm not very–clear with–I'm not very good at–knowing. The right thing to do. But I am–I am trying; I do try and–"

"Okay," Roxanne says, "what–what if–could I–do you want me to–help you?"

Megamind goes still, stares at her.

"I mean," she says, a little too quickly, "we could–try to cut down on your–visible criminal activity, because I'd really like to–come up with a way to–get you a pardon or something, Megamind, so that we can, you know, go out in public together and–"

Megamind's eyes go impossibly wide at that.

"–but I also think that maybe," Roxanne hurries on, "maybe you controlling some of–what you told me about–that sounds like–like the city needs you. So. So–Megamind, do you want–we could, together, we could–discuss the things you're not sure about; I could help you decide which things are important? We could–the right things to do, we could–we could figure them out together? If you want."

She looks at him in trepidation.

"Yes," Megamind breathes. "Yes, I would–god, Roxanne, I would–yes."

He kisses her and then pulls away, looking into her face.

"You want to go out in public with me?" he asks, sounding as if he can't quite believe it.

"Yes, of course," Roxanne says.

Megamind looks as if he can't quite believe it, too. Roxanne wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close, her face pressed to the curve of his neck.

"Of course I want to go out in public with you," she says, voice slightly muffled.

His arms tighten around her, and they stay like that for several seconds, just holding each other.

"I," Megamind says, "I–do worry, though, that–without me, Metro Man will get–um. Bored? With being a hero, which might be–"

Roxanne makes a noise of angry scorn, pulling away, scowling at Megamind..

"So what?" she says, "Let him get bored! You are–Megamind, you don't exist to be someone's entertainment! You are worth so much more than that! Besides, maybe if he gets bored enough, he'll go ahead and stop, which would honestly probably be best for everyone anyway, and–what?"

Megamind is looking at her with an odd expression, a soft, crooked half-smile. He shakes his head.

"Nothing," he says, "just–is it–too much of a supervillain cliche to tell you that you're beautiful when you're angry?"

Roxanne feels herself blush.

"That–would be an acceptable supervillain cliche," she says.

Megamind's smile widens.

"You are beautiful when you're angry," he says. "But–that's not really particularly surprising; you're always beautiful."

Roxanne feels her face go even hotter. She laughs to cover up how flustered she is.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," she says. "You haven't seen me when I first wake up."

Her eyes go wide as she realizes how that could be taken, but Megamind doesn't seem to notice.

"Yes, I have," he says, still smiling, "five years ago, I tried an early-morning kidnapping. You threw an alarm clock at my head," he says reminiscently.

Roxanne gives a startled laugh.

"Okay," she says, "but you haven't seen me when I'm sick–"

"Three years ago," Megamind says. "You had the flu; I didn't realize until after we brought you to the Lair. You threw up on my shoes."

Roxanne makes a face, remembering.

"How on earth are you still attracted to me?" she asks.

Megamind looks at her incredulously.

"You're you," he says simply. "How could I not be?"

Roxanne kisses him swiftly–she has to, after that.

"All right," she says, breaking the kiss, "but! You haven't seen me when I'm sick and I've just woken up."

"No," Megamind agrees, eyes dancing. "No, I haven't." He hesitates, expression going serious. "Will you–will you let me?" he asks.

Roxanne takes a sharp breath. She swallows down the sudden lump in her throat.

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I'll let you."

Megamind's whole face lights up, as if she's just promised him something wonderful and precious. He kisses her, and then presses their foreheads together, his hands stroking restlessly through her hair.

And then he starts to laugh, quietly at first, and then louder.

"What?" Roxanne asks, bumping the sides of their noses together and then looking into his face.

She has no idea what he finds so funny, but his laughter is contagious, and she's smiling even as she asks.

"You–you do realize," Megamind says, "what you've done, right?"

Roxanne shakes her head in bemused denial.

Megamind cackles, more than a little evilly.

"You," he says, "have just essentially agreed to be my Evil Queen!"

"Wh–I have not!" Roxanne protests, laughing incredulously.

"You're going to help me with running my criminal empire!" Megamind says, ticking points off on his fingers. "And! You've already put forth a plan for the defeat of my arch nemesis! Also," he adds smugly, "you're sitting in my lap."

Roxanne laughs, head thrown back.

"Oh my god," she says, "oh my god, Megamind, you are ridiculous, you know that?"

Megamind grins up at her wickedly.

"Whatever you say, Your Highness," he murmurs, and kisses her again.


"I don't know, Roxy," Metro Man says, three months later, running a hand through his perfect hair morosely. He takes a drink of coffee, turns to look at Megamind, seated next to Roxanne, wearing the holowatch and a human projection. "It's just–kinda boring without you, buddy, you know?"

Roxanne makes a sympathetic noise and stirs cream into her own coffee.

Megamind, who had only been convinced to come to the coffee shop today with her to meet Metro Man after a great deal of persuasion, looks surprised and flattered.

"There just doesn't seem to be any point, without a real supervillain," Metro Man goes on. "I mean, I just feel like I'm wasting my time now…"

"Have you thought about retiring?" Roxanne asks, voice carefully casual.

Metro Man heaves a sigh.

"Oh, yeah," he says. "But my contract with the city is for life."

"For life?" Megamind asks, frowning. "I don't–I don't think that can be legal; weren't you underage when you first started?"

Metro Man grimaces.

"Yeah," he says, "my parents had the contract until I turned eighteen. Wish I'd known what I was getting into. I mean, who knows what they really want to do with their life at eighteen?"

"Isn't there any way to get out of it?" Megamind asks, looking genuinely concerned now. "That–that isn't right."

"I can quit if I find a replacement," Metro Man says, looking even more glum than before. "But–oh, man, there just isn't anybody! Metro City just doesn't have much of a superpowered population! I've never even had a sidekick!"

Metro Man takes a gloomy gulp from his coffee cup. Megamind frowns at the tabletop, fingers tapping thoughtfully. And Roxanne–

Roxanne clears her throat.

"Well," she says, when they both look at her, "I might have an idea…"


"Roxanne, you are brilliant," Megamind says, twisting the dial of the holowatch, his real features appearing, a wide grin on his face.

Roxanne props her feet up on the dash of the invisible car.

"Yes," she says smugly. "I know."

Megamind looks absolutely delighted at that response.

(That's one of the things Roxanne loves about him, actually; he's always genuinely pleased when she's proud of herself. Roxanne's spent her whole life being pressured to downplay her own talents and accomplishments, especially by men. Megamind's no-false-modesty, please-monologue-about-how-amazing-you-are-Roxanne-so-I-can-agree attitude is a breath of air.)

"You do realize, though," Roxanne can't resist saying, "what you've done, right?"

Megamind, starting the car, looks sidelong at her, a question in his face.

Roxanne smirks.

"Agreed to be a superhero," she says.

Megamind laughs, the sound of it loud and surprised and happy.

"Clearly," he says, "you are just as much of a good influence on me as I am a bad influence on you." He gives her a smoldering look and a sly smile as he pulls the car out into the street. "Your Highness," he adds.

"Mmm," Roxanne says, reaching for his free hand and lacing their fingers together. "Whatever you say, Hero."

Megamind's fingers tighten around hers, his smile going soft and affectionate, and the two of them hold hands like that as the invisible car races down the street and into the heart of the city.