A/N: This is my first story so let me know what you think. If you are looking for heavy Weasley or Dumbledore bashing go somewhere else. There will be some mild questioning of characters. Mostly critical of the wizarding world in general.

Chapter 1

Harry Potter awoke to a splitting headache. Not entirely unheard of for The-Boy-Who-Lived, since he had a direct connection to one evil Dark Wanker embedded in his brain. But this was different. It was of such epic proportions that he could be forgiven for not immediately noticing that he was not in his own bed. The throbbing behind his eyes could also excuse his not noticing that not only was he in a strange bed, but he was also stark naked. It was when he had to move an arm and a leg to get out of said bed that he really should have started to take notice that something was amiss. Yet he stumbled obliviously toward the bathroom door he saw standing open in the corner of the room, stepping over two different sets of high heeled boots along with several articles of clothing. Finally, even the most epic of hangovers should have allowed him to realize something definitely different as, when he crawled back into bed between the two lumps under the sheets, the arm and leg returned possessively to take their previous positions across his body. Yet Harry just drifted back to sleep as though nothing were different from any other Saturday morning.

It was an entirely more alert Harry who awoke some time later, nearly lunch time by the amount of light comming through the window. First he noticed that he definately was not alone in his bed. He thought maybe Ron had rolled out of his bed and landed on him as happened many nights at the Burrow. Then it dawned on him that there were two someones in bed with him, and by the feel of it he and his bedmates were all three completely naked. Then he became painfully aware by the curves and long hair he felt against his body that his companions were female.

Taking a calming breath, Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked to his left side, from which an arm was slung across his chest. He immediately noticed a fan of silvery blonde hair. Even though the person had their head turned away, Harry immediately recognized who it was.

"Fleur?!" Harry chocked out in a slightly strangled voice.

"Cinq minutes papa." Fleur mumbled sleepily.

Harry next turned to his right, the side from which a leg was thrown across his lower body. His eyes nearly bulged from his head as he saw a short mop of spiky pink hair sticking out from under the blanket.

"Tonks?!" Harry squawked

Slowly Tonks turned her head toward the sound of her name, eyes still closed. "Harry?" she murmured sleepily, slowly opening her eyes. Their eyes met and she briefly stared at him in confusion. Harry watched as Tonks' eyes widened in comprehension. Their discussion must have disturbed Fleur, because Harry then felt movement to his left.

"Nym?" Fleur's head lifted to gaze with half lidded eyes across Harry's chest. She glanced down, then up at Harry's face as she rapidly came fully awake. "'Arry?"

"Fleur?" Tonks' incredulous eyes widened even more.

Harry's eyes rolled back and darkness took him.

"I'm a dead man." Harry held his head in his hands as he sat at the en suite kitchen counter. "They'll kill me." He lifted his eyes to look at the two women sitting opposite him. "If I don't have a heart attack first."

"Calm down 'Arry." Fleur reached across to smooth his messy hair. "No one 'ere eez going to 'urt you."

Harry smiled at her reassuringly. "I know you won't Fleur. I mean Hermione, Ron, well all of the Weasleys really." He sighed mightily. "I just wish I knew what happened."

Tonks snorted. "Think its pretty obvious what happened." She reached her right hand over to Fleur to lift her left hand while indicationg her own left hand. On the ring finger of each woman's lefthand was a ring. Tonks' ring bore the raven insignia of House Black while Fleur's ring bore the Potter Stag. Harry looked down at his own left hand where a ring bearing both crests adorned his own ring finger.

"I mean how did it happen Tonks? I remember yesterday but I don't remember getting married."

Tonks smirked while Fleur giggled lightly at Harry's blush. "Harry, you are the head of two ancient and noble houses. As head of House Potter and House Black, you are authorized to perform marriages. Even your own." Harry directed a bewildered look at her again. "And to perform your own marrieage all you need are three things. First is a declairation of intent to marry."

-Flash Back-

An explosion rang out, startling all the workers in the field. Harry spun from where he was helping set up the wedding pavilion to stare at The Burrow. He saw smoke begin to billow out of an upstairs window. Exchanging a quick glance with Mr. Weasley, they both broke into a run toward the kitchen door. As they got closer they began to hear more explosions. They were met at the door by a very distraught looking Molly Weasley.

"Molly, what's going on?" Arthur Weasley asked. "Is it a Death Eater attack?"

"It's Fleur and Tonks. Bill and Remus ran off, only leaving a note. Tonks started smashing things and Fleur is throwing around fireballs."

Arthur Weasley look gobsmacked. "Bill did WHAT?! And Remus?"

Harry didn't waste any more time and dodged past the Weasleys into the house. Following the breaking and crashing sounds was relatively easy and he found Tonks and Fleur in short order. Tonks was in a state, her hair shifting colors faster than Harry could follow. Fleur was the same, partially transformed into a bird-man form (it's a Veela thing) with a fireball in each hand. Hearing the door open, both women turned and flung fire and spells at Harry. Only his quick thinking avoided being hit as he dove for cover.

"Whoa! Truce!" Harry grabbed a white handkerchief from the dresser by the door and waved it at the girls. They both stopped to stare at him, then Fleur turned away and threw another fireball at what appeared to be the remains of her wedding dress. Tonks just advanced on Harry with a stony expression and handed him a slightly singed piece of parchment. Harry glanced down at the letter, cringing slightly at the finger shaped burn marks on the surface. He began to read.

Dear Fleur and Dora,

We are so very sorry that this has come to this, but we have realized that we can not live a lie any longer. We have each tried to live like others, and if times were peaceful we may have been able to make things work. But the stress of his return and the uncertainty of daily life have shown us what we have been denying for too long.

We have been involved with each other for many years starting just shortly after Bill graduated from Hogwarts. We met on one of Bill's first assignments with Gringott's in Egypt and have met off and on ever since. We have each tried to have other relationships, trying to convince ourselves that it was just convenience and not how we really were. But truth won out.

We are leaving to find somewhere more accepting of our relationship. We will contact our families once we are settled, hopefully somewhere safe. Maybe we could even bring everyone with us for safety.

You are both exceptional women and will no doubt have little trouble finding someone who would be better suited for you.

Be Safe,

Bill and Remus

Harry stared at the note, dumbstruck. He re-read it and finally began to comprehend. Internally he wished his friends happiness and safety, but he had to address the two seething witches in the room with him first. Looking up, Fleur seemed to finally be winding down a little. Although the fact that the dress was now a merrily burning torch could have had something to do with it. And Tonks appeared to have at least settled on a color for her hair, blood red.

"How about we go outside somewhere," Harry tentatively broke the silence. "Someplace a little less flammable?"

Fleur just directed a glare at Harry then, exchanging a look with Tonks, the two women stalked out of the room. With a sigh, Harry drew his wand, extinguished the dress, and followed them down the stairs. He was met at the bottom by Arthur Weasley holding a bottle of something. Silently he handed the letter over to Arthur and watched the incredulous expression spread across his face. Arthur looked up at him for a moment, the handed the bottle he was holding to Harry.

"Firewhiskey. A drunk Witch can't concentrate enough to cast a spell. Same for Wizards for that matter. I don't know if Fleur will be able to conjure fireballs drunk, but it should at least mess with her aim."

After a murmered thank you, Harry hastened out the door and across the fields toward the nearby marshes in pursuit of the two women.

Twenty minutes later saw Harry transfiguring mud balls into clay targets and floating them into the air as Fleur and Tonks took turns using them for target practice. Apparently firewhiskey did not inhibit Veela forming fireballs. Nor did it even seem to be messing with Tonks' abilities. Either that, or it just took alot more than they had consumed.

"Batard!" Fleur growled as she blasted another clay target. "Comment pourrait-il faire!"

"Fleur, english please." Harry plead with a wince. He looked toward Tonks as she stood up, ready to blast another target. At least she was beginning to calm down, but now that her anger was fading Harry began to notice that she was swinging toward depression.

"'ow could 'e do this?!" Fleur repeated in English.

"At least you're still young and beautiful." Tonks replied letting a cutting curse loose as Harry launched the target into the air. "I'm too old to find someone else."

"Don't be rediculous Tonks." Harry admonished, transfiguring another target. "You are only three years older than Fleur. And just as beautiful as ever." He launched the next target into the air where it was promptly vaporized by a streaking ball of fire.

"Oh come off it Harry." Tonks scoffed. "You know you wouldn't be interested in someone as old as I am, and most of the wizards my age are already betrothed. The only other available wizards are all old enough to be my father."

"Oui, eet is not easy finding zomeone 'o is interested in me for myself instead of me the part-veela," Fleur growled. "Most just look at me like a prize to be possessed."

"You don't give yourselves enough credit." Harry shook his head. "You are both kind, scarry smart and beautiful. If either of you were the least bit interested in me, I would be on my knees in a heart beat."

Tonks and Fleur looked at each other, stunned, before Fleur responded. "But surely 'Arry, you could probably 'ave your choice in girls."

"Ha!" Harry barked a short laugh. "I've been friend zoned by the girl who probably knows me best of anyone. My first 'date' was a disaster because the girl was still wrapped up with her deceased boyfriend. And this whole insane psychopath bent on killing me pretty much has every other girl avoiding me." Harry lowered his eyes, concentrating on forming another target. He threw it into the air and blasted it with his own blasting curse. "Any man would be lucky to have you two."

-End Flashback-

Harry's eyes widened and his headache started to come back. Tonks just sat at the counter, regarding Harry with an amused smirk.

"Well you did say that you would propose if we were interested in you."