The morning came with another hangover. Nico wondered if in all of the possible universes, one constant would remain is that she had a hangover. Schrodinger's Hangover. Every time she made a decision to drink, another parallel universe opened up. She stopped by Wendy's for a vanilla frostie, as if it would cure her pounding head. The smell of baconator fries assault her nose deep into the recesses of her associative memory of yesterday's lunch. In a daze she walked up to the counter. She wasn't entirely awake yet. It was only after the cute orange-haired girl took her order that she noticed a familiar figure in dark robes sitting next to the trash can. Nico knew that scowl. Fuck. Was he everywhere? An emissary of The Juice, omnipresent of her every move? "Hi Matt."

"Sit, my apprentice. We have much to discuss before we can open the shop today."

Nico's head hurt. "Is this on the clock?" Was it normal to come home and drink three whiskey-on-the-rocks after work? Nico thought so, but she'd needed to drink away her failed ambitions anyways.

With a somber look Matt put down his sweet-and-sour glazed chicken nugget, that had been centimeters from his cracked lips. He frowned. "This is not a mundane meeting, apprentice. 'Matt' is no longer present here. When we meet, I am Darth Vapor."
Nico was regretting saying hi.

"Sit down. Observe. We are watching our enemies today."

Was this legal? Matt had the strangest intenseness, a gravity that made it hard to walk away, lest you break his immersion. She sighed.

"Show me our enemies."

Matt's shaking pasty hand pointed to a pair of robed individuals on the red tables outside. The bearded man. The tanned girl, three ponytails today. (Nico privately thought the girl would look good with pigtails. Maybe some ribbons.) They were eating. Ravenously. Floats. Baconators. Chicken in baconators. "You see this madness?" His voice cracked,

No one has even needed a chicken in a baconator. "They're going down."

"Follow my lead," In swishing dark robes he crept behind the condiment stand. Motioning for Nico to come. People were staring. She pulled over her hood and put on her sunglasses. "We mustn't be seen." With painstaking steps they navigated the dining room. If the enemy so much as peeped, the pair of sith lords would duck behind the high-chairs. No such need. Their passage was safe.

The outside was too bright, even with the sunglasses. Nico could see where Matt was coming from with this dark side shit. Dark meant safe. Cool. Far from the maddening crowd. Not requiring SPF 100.

"This is an interesting texture," the girl said, between gulps of her double-decker crispy chicken BLT, "the bacon is like…." She didn't finish.

"I know, Rey," The bearded man nodded, taking a sip of his strawberry natural lemonade. "The force lets us feel these things."

At mention of the girl's name, Matt into a sweat.

"She's the one!" His voice cracked. "The one who will balance the juices!"

"Uh."

Darth Matt shook with… emotional duress? A boner? "How can a scavenger from Jakku, New Mexico… this is unprecedented…"

The scavenger from Jakku, New Mexico dipped her double chocolate chip cookie into her chocolate frosty. She looked to be at peace. Nico felt a little bit jealous. Maybe she'd order a double chocolate chip cookie too.

Mark's Tokes was doing well. A slurry of customers was constantly lined up outside the florescent-green shop (neon lights trimmed the hazy windows, smoky signs that reminded Nico of Matt's vape sword.) hoping to get a bite of Mark's Forceful Brownies. The girl with the multiple ponytails and the cute poncho handed out samples in the street; Nico had gotten one and it was quite good, even made the workday far more pleasant. The girl, whose name was Rey, had told her to come in sometime and, "feel the guidance of the force." When Nico was face to face to her, it was easy to forget she had put a crispy chicken into a baconator once.

"Is that like… the juice?"

Rey's eyes widened, like Nico had struck her. "We must not speak of the juice here. It is a hidden mystery that Master Mark Hamill is trying to understand."

"There's a vape shop… across the street. I work there. The Knights of the Vapor Vape Shop."

"Knights of the Vapor… oh no, that means… goddammit…" Rey shook her head, her many ponytails swaying in the chilly air, "I thought he was gone… I need a smoke, fuck."

"S-sorry, dude."

"Be careful, Nico. Your boss will betray you in a heartbeat if it would further his own twisted ambitions."

"I get paid $10 an hour there."

"Ah." Rey nodded and Nico had a feel the slightly older woman had been in similar positions. "I understand."

Matt the Radar Technician was not pleased about Mark's Tokes, even though it didn't much affect his own customer base. "Why is it so popular? Why do those… do-gooders have so much business?" His voice was weak and rasping, like he'd spent the night previous crying. "It's not fair, Darth Nico. I have spent years on the run from… the light. The forces of sparks and brightness. It clouds my vision, fills my lungs with brightness."

They sat in the back, tinkering with flavors and coils. In the main room, someone was shouting about button mashing. "Boss, you should go outside sometime. Other than in the trash cans, I mean. All this stuffy air can't be very nico-nico good for you. Meet someone. Get a hobby."

"The light burns my soul, erodes the corners of the darkness. And call me Darth Kylo. I am not a 'boss'. The mundane life holds no appeal for me. Hobbies? What could such things do for me?"

"Whatever you say, Boss Darth Kylo."

He scowled. Hair hung into his face, hiding a faint scar. "I need you to go on a mission, Darth Nico."

"Um." The last mission she went on for Matt the Radar Technician was getting a signed picture of Tsubasa Kira. She didn't mind exactly, but… "Okay."

"It's a reconnaissance mission. I need you to infiltrate Mark's Tokes and find out what his purpose is here."

"…I think he just wants to make some nico-nico dollars, boss."

"There is a greater force at work here. The juice is flowing in ways we cannot possibly comprehend. It grows sticky and strange. Our only option is to follow it."

"This is really creepy. It's kind of stalking, dude."

A sudden chill went through the air. Suddenly Boss Darth Kylo looked menacing in his Halloween store robes he likely purchased at 75% off, his usually hunched figure rising from the smoke, eyes alit with a blaze Nico had never seen before. "Like you can speak of such things, Darth Nico." His voice was harsh and cracking. "I have seen the transgressions you have committed. I know all about the stolen hamburgers, the watchful gaze you once kept on a group of young women, the lust that fills your heart for power and girls in fedoras…" The vape boxes wobbled, the glass bottles rattled. Suddenly the midday sun was blotted out behind a growing cloud. A coldness fell over her. Memories of the young idols slashed through her thoughts. Glances of the fedora's girls shoulders, shining red hair under the fedora's unattractive brim. The taste of the ill-gotten McDoubles. Everything was cloying and suffocating inside the dim-lit room; as if the atmosphere itself held a spirit of malice within its molecules.

It suddenly occurred to Nico that perhaps there was truly something to the talk of juices and vapors and forces, and that her boss wasn't just an eccentric radar technician. "Christ, alright dude."

When was Nozomi coming back from vacation?