"I don't wanna talk." I told him bluntly.

"Jasper," I heard him call back, "When was the last time you came out of there?"

"Like you actually care." I said in a callus tone.

"Jasper, don't do this." he said, his tone becoming firm, "You know I care about you. I just want to make sure you're alright. I want to help you."

"If you actually want to help me, than go away." I said, my voice getting ever more bitter, "There's nothing to discuss. He's gone, and that's that."

I heard a loud sigh from outside, followed shortly by heavy foot steps. Truth be told, I really didn't want to even look at Steven. He'd changed so much in that period of time. Long gone was that chubby little kid that I first met all those years ago. In his place was a full grown man… one that looked very familiar.

While my not wanting to talk to anyone was the majority of the reason I didn't open up, the other part was because he now looked too much like Greg. I knew I couldn't look at him without more of the pain resurfacing.

It was a few hours later when I heard another knock at the back of the van.

"What?" I answered irritably.

"J-Jasper," I heard an uneasy voice say, "It's Peridot… Look, you've been in that van for a really long time now. I can't imagine what you're going through, but-."

"Yeah," I answered dryly, "You can't."

"Listen," she said after a long pause, "I've known you the longest out of everyone. I'll admit I'm not an expert, but I'm willing to listen to you. I don't even have to say anything if you don't want me to. I could just let you-"

"What could you possibly know that no else does?" I said, cutting her off, "Just because you watch that stupid show doesn't mean you know anything about what happened. Just because we were on the same ship doesn't mean you know who I am! Now get lost!"

There was no response that time. A few seconds later I heard soft footsteps slowly getting quieter. Maybe what I said was a bit harsh, but I really didn't care. I just wanted her to leave. Why couldn't anyone get it through their heads that I just wanted to be alone?

The sun was starting to get low in the sky when I heard a third knock at the door. Well, it was less knocking, and more violent slamming.

"Jasper!" I heard Amethyst shout.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing that I've told everyone else." I answered, trying to keep my voice leveled, "I don't wanna talk, I don't want your company, and I don't want any of you checking up on me. I just wanna be left alone. So, why don't we save ourselves some time? You go tell everyone that, and then don't come back here. Any of you."

I don't think I could have made that any more clear. I thought for sure that might actually get her and everyone else to get off my back. I was wrong.

"Oh I get it." she said, her voice becoming accusing, "You're a coward."

The instant I heard that, my eyes went wide with anger. I sat up and looked to the back door.

"What did you say to me?" I said, my tone a mixture of disbelief and rage.

"You heard me," she retorted, "You're nothing but a coward. Sitting in the back of that van, hiding from everything."

I started gritting my teeth, getting angrier with every word she said. I shuffled forward, opening the back of the van to see her still standing there. She had her arms folded across her chest, and she was giving me a sour look.

"You are making a big mistake right now." I warned her, "Unless you want to be part of the pavement, I suggest you turn around and walk away."

"Oh really?" she questioned, "because if this is any indication of how you handle things, I really don't have anything to worry about."

"You're asking for trouble you overcooked little runt." I fumed, "This is the last time I'm going to warn you. Now get out of my face!"

"You're no soldier." she went on, as if ignoring me, "You're just a hot headed train wreck. What did Greg ever see in you?"

Upon hearing her last words, I lost it. After summoning my crash helmet, I got into a spin dash, poised to hit her full force. I rocketed out of the van, hitting the place she was standing. Unfortunately, she moved out of the way, making me leave a sizable dent in the asphalt.

I stood up, looking around to see which way she might have gone. I quickly found her bolting in another direction. As if she was running away from me. I wasn't about to let her get away.

"GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A QUARTZ!" I yelled as I sprinted after her.

I chased her for a good while, fully intent on making her pay for her words. Eventually we found ourselves on the beach. Doing another spin dash, I managed to knock her off her feet, making her land face first into the sand.

I walked up behind her, picking her up by her shirt so that she was eye level with me. I looked at her, and the look she gave me back was… sad. As in, truly honestly sad. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time, as I was more interested in driving her face into the back of her head.

"I'm gonna make you regret everything you've ever done." I told her, rearing my fist back.

"I'm sorry Jasper." she said in a remorseful voice, "I didn't mean anything I said. This was the only thing we could think to do."

Needless to say, she left me very confused. Before I could ask her what she meant, I felt something grab my arm. I looked to see what it was (dropping Amethyst in the process), only to see a water arm coming from the ocean, gripping me tight. Not again.

I pulled against the water limb, struggling to get loose. Soon after, the water formed an entire bubble around me. Aside from my head, I was completely trapped. I continued to struggle, thinking that I could get free some how.

"I'm sorry." I heard a different voice say, "I know we haven't always gotten along the best, but we refuse to let this continue any further."

I looked to see who it was, finding out that it was Lapis. I kinda figured she was close by, all things considered. Although, I didn't expect Peridot to be with her. Both of them were just giving me the same sad look that Amethyst was.

"If you don't let me out of this now," I threatened, "I will make sure that-"

"That is enough Jasper!" I heard someone else say.

I looked to where the voice came from, seeing Pearl and Garnet walking up. While Pearls words sounded angry, her face betrayed her tone. She, like Amethyst, was wearing a miserable face. As for Garnet… I don't know if I'm ever going to figure her out.

"What is going on!?" I demanded, both confused and angry.

"I'm really sorry Jasper." Amethyst said with a shaky voice, " We didn't know what else to do."

"You kept shutting everything out." Peridot said, "We needed to do something."

"I know this seems cruel," Lapis said, "but this for your own good."

"You can't keep living your life like that, Jasper." Pearl said, "Do you honestly think that he would want you to-"

"Shut up!" I shouted, cutting Pearl off, "All of you, just shut up! I am so sick of hearing your never ending dribble. Why can't you all just leave me alone? Why can't you all just get it through your thick heads that I don't want to be around you? Why are you-"

"I have heard enough of this!" Garnet shouted, trying to sound as angry as me. She walked right up to me and removed her shades so that she was looking me right in the eye.

"Now I don't care what it is you have to do." Garnet said, lowering her voice, "Scream, cry, or just tell the entire cosmos that it is cruel, but we are not letting you do this to yourself any more. You know this isn't the right thing to do. You know this is not what-"

"What do you know?" I questioned her, "You have no idea what it's like. You always have someone. You never have to worry about facing things like this. Don't tell me about something you've never been through."

The perma-fusion took a step back, slightly surprised by what I said. Now that I look back at it, it was a really clever tactic.

"Jasper," Pearl said, approaching me, "It's clear that you're greatly effected by this. It's okay to be upset. We all miss him dearly."

"It's too bad I'm so angry right now," I said, "because that really would have made me laugh. You all miss him? From what I heard, Pearl, I would think you were glad that he's gone."

That shocked look on everyone's face when I said that was mildly surprising. I didn't expect anyone except Pearl to react to that.

"Yeah, he told me everything." I continued, "How you were belittling him when he first met Rose, how you tried to push him away because you were so jealous, how you called him a bad father. What are the worst things hes ever did? He loved someone, honest and truly. He lied about an injury because he wanted to be close to his son. He tried his absolute hardest to make a life for himself and grow up all at once, because he wanted to prove that he could be responsible."

The entire time I was going on, everyone just stared at me, unblinking.

"And even after all that," I went on, "After loosing the one that mattered the most to him… all he wanted was your approval so that he could continue to be with his son. Yeah, you really cared about him."

I looked around, noticing all of their shocked faces. I still wonder if they expected me to have that much knowledge of his past.

"Jasper…" Lapis began to say, before I cut in once again.

"And you two," I said, directing my attention to Lapis and Peridot, "He lets you stay on his property, and you don't even so much as thank him? How you can you presume to tell me how to feel when you barley cared that he existed?"

A long moment of silence passed over them. I saw hurt expressions across all of their faces. It was only then that I realized that I was starting to tear up. Maybe it was just because I couldn't move, but I didn't try to stop them from coming.

"You're right." I heard Amethyst say, "There were more than enough times when we treated him unfairly. You knew him better than any of us. You have every right to be mad at us for that."

"So than why are you doing this?" I asked, loosing my patience, "Why do you insist on on bothering me when you know you won't get it? Why do you keep trying to talk to me when you know you were in the wrong? Why are you doing this when don't understand?"

"Because they want to understand." I heard a completely different voice say.

I looked to see who it was, seeing Connie walking up. She had changed quite a bit after all this time. No longer a little girl attempting to prove herself to people, but now a respectable woman and fighter.

"Because we all want to understand." she continued, "Because we can't stand seeing you like this. We want to help you, we want to make sure that this pain doesn't consume you. You think no one else will get it, and maybe none of us do… but there is someone who knew Greg just as much, if not more than you."

Before I could question what she meant, I saw someone come up behind her. As soon as I figured it out who it was, I immediately squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to be reminded of everything all over again. I heard him getting closer, but I kept my eyes shut. The footsteps stopped, and then I felt a pair of hands touch my face.

"Look at me." he said in a gentle voice, but I didn't, "Jasper, the entire time that you've been here, I have only ever asked one thing from you; Your trust. So I'm asking you, please trust me. Please look at me."

So much of my mind was screaming at me not to do it but, after hearing him invoke the only thing he ever asked from me, I just had to. I opened my eyes slowly, still somewhat resisting. When I finally forced them all the way open, I saw him giving he a sad look.

Time had really changed Steven. His features had matured so much in those years. In some aspects he looked like his mother but, in so many other aspects, he looked like Greg. With that and the look he was giving me, all of those terrible feelings came flooding back to my mind. I didn't even try to stop the tears from flowing.

"I know you miss him." Steven said, trying to keep himself steady, "I miss him too. I know you're being hard on yourself because you think there was something you could have done to stop this. I know that you feel like a huge piece of you is missing without him. I understand because I feel the exact same way."

I felt a huge wave of guilt wash over me when he said that. I had been so concerned with trying to keep people away that I didn't realize I wasn't the only one that lost him. I was so selfish that I forgot that there was someone who had more reason to miss him than me. This only made more tears come.

"I'm sorry," I choked out, not caring about who saw or heard, "I don't know what to do."

"I know you think you're alone," he continued, "but that's not true. I'm still here and so are the rest of us. I know you think they won't understand. That's why you have to tell us. Tell us so that we can understand. Tell us so we can at least try to help. What is it that makes this feel so different to you?"

He moved his hands from my face, not even bothering wiping the tears away. For a while I just tried to bite back the emotional overload, but I knew it was useless. I looked around, noticing that everyone was waiting patiently for me to give a response.

"You wanna know?" I asked them all, to which they all nodded, "You want to know why this is so different? You want to know why he left such an impact, why there's a big hole in my heart, why I haven't been able to get on with my life without him?"

I took a short pause, trying to make sure that the lump in my throat didn't keep me from talking. I don't know how anyone was reacting, because my eyes were so full of tears.

"You want to know why he was the best out of all of us?" I went on, "Why he was stronger than any of us, why he was strong in the way that mattered most? Because, after everything that has happened, after all the times you doubted him, that I doubted him, that I was difficult with him, after all the times he had to put up with things that would break most… he… he… he stayed"

At that point, all of my pride, my strength, and all of my resolve was gone. I felt the water prison around me collapse and I hit the ground on my knees, letting my head hang pathetically. I was broken, sobbing hysterically, unable to feel anything except the pain.

"I loved you Greg." I said, saying my thoughts out loud, "You tried so hard and didn't ask for anything in return. You kept trying no matter how difficult I was. I didn't deserve you."

As I sat there on my knees, letting my emotions spill out in front of everyone, I felt someone embrace me. I didn't bother looking to see who it was, I could tell it was Steven. Less than a few seconds after, I felt another set of arms around me. I felt more start joining, I was pretty sure everyone one was there around me.

"I know it hurts," I heard Pearl say through several sniffles, "and it's not really going to stop hurting. It changes though. Not now, but it will over time."

"You shouldn't have to do this by yourself," Amethyst said through a few hiccups, "I know we haven't always gotten along the best, but no deserves to go through something like this alone."

"I'm sorry we had to do this to you, " Peridot said, her voice shaky, "but you needed to get this out. We didn't want you wasting away in your own misery."

They all took turns saying something to me. I didn't give them any form of response other than my sobs. I didn't really know what to say at that time. It's not that I wasn't thankful… I just didn't know what I could possibly say to tell them thank you. Not just for supporting me, but for making me realize that what I was doing was wrong.

A lot has changed since that day. I've since reconciled with the Gems and they even had me move in with them, though I still keep the van close by. We've all gone through everything that was left behind, making sure that all things found a proper place. Steven is now running the car wash, and he and Connie are about to bring a new life into this world.

I realized some time after that day that I was being selfish. Not just to Steven, but to Greg's final words as well. He wanted me to be happy and I wasn't letting myself. Some of them say he would understand, but I still can't help think that he might have been a little disappointed in me. Still, I know it took him a long time to get over Rose.

These days, I'm trying to take everything in stride. It's still difficult to go on without him, and I still cry sometimes. The difference now is that I don't have to worry about facing it alone. Someone is always there, taking time out of their life to make sure I'm okay. I sometimes feel like I'm being a burden to them, even after they reassure me.

It's funny, I look back at all of the things that I did before I got to earth, and I sometimes can't believe how much things have changed. I used to be a ruthless leader of the home world army, unstoppable to any who faced me. I received many awards, many accolades, and many thanks for the things I did back then.

Yet, now, I would give all of that up… If it meant I could just have one more day… sharing a box of donuts… with my Greg.