Bug Princess and the Seven Months

A Beetlejuice fan fiction by Lady Norbert

Author's Notes: Well, there you are and here I am. You know, I did manage to update my Fullmetal Alchemist series while taking a break from these stories, and I thought I would be continuing, but there's this poltergeist who won't stop chewing on my brain.

He and I are both delighted by the responses to the end of Sleeping Beetle. I was genuinely worried that people wouldn't really like the idea that there's a kiddo on the way, so to receive so many excited reviews was incredibly reassuring. And as you might have guessed, that's what's being referenced in the title - this story will follow Lydia and BJ through most of her pregnancy. (Naturally, the plot interferes.) The title is phrased the way it is to evoke Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which is of course the Disney fairy tale I'm abusing this time.

I want to give a massive shout-out to all my friends in this fandom, who have done so much for me! I've received a lot of really marvelous art, some of which can be viewed on the Cinderjuice page at TV Tropes; others can be seen as the cover art for the stories on FFN, and even more can be found on deviantArt. This chapter also contains a specific shout-out to the wonderful Cobweb and Stripes webcomic by my friend Ada. She did a little shout-out to my storyverse in a recent update, so I wanted to return the favor.

Lydia's dress in this chapter was designed by my friend Kristina, known as zellykat on here and deviantArt. She did a lovely yin-yang picture of Beej and Lyds, and I loved the dress so much that I had to incorporate it. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Once There Was a Princess

Prince Vince, while highly regarded by his people, was not exactly the celebratory type. He marked occasions in his own fashion, usually by composing an epic poem of some sort and possibly inflicting it on a (literally) captive audience. But large-scale parties were, as a general rule, not his thing. However, a truly remarkable milestone required much more grandiose festivities. Or at least, that's what Lydia told him, and he tended to listen to his mostly-living honorary sister.

"The two hundredth anniversary of your ascending the throne is a really big deal," she insisted.

She was in the Outerworld, in her little house in the woods, and he was in his castle in the Neitherworld, conversing with her through the mirror in her bedroom there. They'd started having weekly mirror chats ever since she'd informed him of her pregnancy; after all, as Vince pointed out, the baby was a serious matter in both worlds. He liked to see with his own eyes that her progress was healthy. So they would each make tea and sit at the mirror and talk about things.

"I know it is," he replied, "but do you really think the people will want to celebrate it?"

"Why wouldn't they? Your people love you!"

"Do you think so?"

"Of course. And think how much fun it will be! You can open the castle, invite everyone of high or low estate to come and celebrate with you! Music and dancing and all sorts of revelry - it'll sort of be like a Renaissance festival or something."

"Well, that does sound pleasant," he admitted, "and many of my subjects did live through the real Renaissance. And you'll come, won't you? The whole Juice family?"

"We wouldn't miss it," she assured him. "Have you ever known Beetlejuice to skip a party? Perish the thought."

"I could even invite my cousins," Vince said thoughtfully. "Make it a Neitherworld royal family reunion."

"I didn't know you had any family."

"There are few of us, and they're rather scattered," he explained. "It would be nice to see them again, it's been several years."

"If you don't mind my asking - since you've never mentioned them - can you tell me how your family works? I mean, how did you come to be on the throne in the first place?" Lydia put down her teacup. "You've only been ruling for two centuries, so who was there before you?"

"Ah, yes, I suppose it's never really come up," he reflected. "Well, the Neitherworld is a principality, and my family has governed it since time immemorial. How the throne came to be ours, even I don't really know... the origins of the Neitherworld itself are extremely shrouded in mystery."

"Really?"

"Oh, heavens yes. Nothing makes a particularly large amount of sense around here, as I'm sure you've noticed. Sometimes I think Beetlejuice is onto something with all his speculation about the plot." He shrugged. "The Fairy Godfather probably knows, but you know how he is - he's unlikely to tell me even if I ask him directly."

"Unless he absolutely has to, you're probably right." Lydia chuckled. "But go on, how did you get the throne?"

"Well, as the years pass, a lot of ghosts get tired," he explained. "Not all of them, but some. So they tend to retire, as it were, to places like the Resort of Last Resort or similar locations in the more remote parts of the kingdom. There are also some who go beyond the borders, although it's unclear what becomes of them because we never hear from them again. In any case, my parents eventually chose to retire, as their parents did before them and so on, and the crown was passed to me."

"So you can actually retire from being a ghost?"

"In a manner of speaking. That's probably not the best way to describe it," he admitted, "but it more or less serves the purpose."

"I wonder if Beetlejuice ever had any inclination to retire," she mused.

"Unlikely. Retirement, for a ghost, involves surrendering most of your powers and all of your ability to interact with the living." Vince chuckled. "The boredom would probably cause him to combust. Speaking of Beetlejuice, how is he dealing with his impending fatherhood?"

"Oh." Lydia grimaced. "He's driving me insane, if you can believe that."

"Certainly I can believe it, sister dear. I'm only surprised it's taken him this long."

"Very funny." They both laughed, and she explained. "He's absolutely nuts about his kid, which is kind of cute, but he keeps fussing over me to the extreme. I get at least two phone calls a day while he's at work, and then when he's home he's after me about am I hungry, do I need another pillow, would I like a beetle - which I most definitely would not," she added. "Don't get me wrong, it's really sweet. It's just that sometimes it's a little much."

The father-to-be in question arrived home from work not much later, and immediately came in search of his wife. Once he found her and saw that she was feeling perfectly fine, Beetlejuice was interested to hear about the plans for Vince's anniversary celebration. "You think you'll feel up to it?"

"Beej, pregnant women have been attending things for centuries without any problems. I'll be fine. I'm barely even showing."

"Well, it'll be fun to show off Bug-in-progress," he mused, chuckling. "And he said he's inviting my whole family?"

"Uh-huh. You know, I think this'll be the first time I've been in the same room with your parents and Donny at the same time."

"Brace yourself for a lot of fussing, then," he said amiably.

"Oh, is that what you've been doing? Helping me practice?" she retorted.

"Whaaaat? Ain't it my job to look after you?"

"Yes, I... oh, never mind."

"So - you hungry? I brought home a couple nice big juicy beetles from today's job."

"Beej..." She sighed. "Why do you persist in thinking I'm ever going to want one of those?"

"Hey, bugs are a great source of protein!" he objected. "Besides, I don't think you want one. But that's my kid in there, and he could have my appetite, so there might come a point where he wants one." In a mockingly syrupy voice, he added, "You always tell me I should be considerate of others."

Lydia heartily wished that Vince was still in the mirror. He would have been on the receiving end of the most long-suffering I told you so look any pregnant woman ever gave anyone.

The formal invitation arrived just over a week later, along with a pair of packages. Lydia was hardly expecting anything from the Neitherworld to show up on her front doorstep, and she opened the first of the two envelopes with great curiosity.

"You are cordially invited to celebrate the bicentennial of the coronation of His Royal Highness, Prince Vince, Sovereign Lord of the Principality of the Neitherworld," she read out loud to Beetlejuice, who was loafing on the couch. "Looks like the shindig is next Saturday and we should expect to be there all day. But then what's all this?" She gestured at the two lumpy bundles, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.

"Dunno. What's in the other letter?" he asked lazily, one hand rummaging through the contents of a bag of potato chips.

"Let's see." She tore open the second envelope and unfolded the paper inside. "Oh, well, that explains a lot - they're from the Fairy Godfather."

"F. G.'s being an interfering knob again, is he? I guess that's not surprising at this point. So what's it about?"

"Well, it seems that in honor of the prince's festivities, he's taken the liberty of providing us with some new formal clothing for the event."

"What?" He sat upright, his snack forgotten. "We're not gonna trot out the old cobweb and stripes?"

Lydia chuckled at his description. "He says that we're appearing as the Avatars of Life and Death, and so he'd like to see us dress the part. Plus I have to appear as a member of the royal family besides, so this is appropriate to my rank and will look good with my tiara." She shrugged, pushing his package at him. "I'm going to go try mine on."

"Do I have to bathe for this clam bake?" Beetlejuice asked, sulking.

"You know the answer to that. I'm very sensitive to smells right now, Beej."

"...yes, dear."

The day of the party arrived, and Lydia watched Beetlejuice pace around the living room in his new suit. It was very similar to what the Godfather had once given him to wear to Lydia's high school prom, an elegant black silk suit, which had then seen double duty as his wedding attire a few years later. However, his new suit jacket was solid black, with shiny lapels and a black button-down shirt, and over the shirt was a black and white striped vest that reminded him of his usual attire.

"The Godfather cuts a decent suit," he said. "You about ready, Babes?"

She moved over to adjust his bow tie for him. "You clean up nicely, you know," she said fondly. "I'll be down in a minute."

She returned a few minutes later, brushing at her skirts with some satisfaction. The gown the Fairy Godfather had sent her consisted of two parts. A pure white satin chemise flowed lightly over her pale form; covering this was an ivory velvet overdress, almost like a large jacket, enveloping her in generous folds of luxurious fabric. Silver ribbon laced up the front, allowing her to tighten or loosen the overdress as she needed. "Well? What do you think?" she inquired, straightening her tiara.

"You make anything look good, Babes. Gotta admit, though, it's weird not to see you in black."

"Yeah, this really isn't my preferred palette," she said with a laugh. "I'm a little too pale to carry this off most of the time. But the style is really pretty. The note says that he wanted me to have something I could adjust to fit my belly as it expands." She pulled the fabric taut, showing off her very small baby bump. "Apparently it's not unusual for a first pregnancy to be showing already at three months."

"Y'know, I actually think the Godfather is almost more excited for this kid than almost anybody else. Besides us, I mean," her husband remarked, putting a hand on the bump. "Nobody's more excited than us. Right, Buggy boy?"

"I'm surprised, really," Lydia admitted. "Given how weirdly the prophecy is worded regarding our 'offspring,' I would have thought he'd be more concerned than excited."

"Hey! My kid can destroy as many worlds as he wants," Beetlejuice said defensively. "Come on, let's go show him off."