Chapter 29: What I Want

Disclaimer: I do not own Loud House or any form of media related to it, it is rightfully owned by its respective companies or owners.

Lincoln was tired, today has been rough. In fact his whole time back has been rough. But that's what he gets for running away. His whole life has been rough. He was homeless for a long time, made everlasting friendships and have fallen in love. Still, he lost a lot along the way. Lost so much, he was also lost for a long time too. Eventually he found himself again with some help. He came home.

It seems like years but its only been a few weeks or a month at least.

Now here he was in his room talking with three of his little sisters about his past. The good and bad, he told them all of it. Seeing their faces he knew they were deep in thought and trying to process it all.

Lucy had already her everything from before but it was still hard to hear all over again. For the last two sisters this was a lot to take in. Both were quiet as they sat on each side of Lucy. Lincoln was leaning against his desk looking at his sisters softy.

"So… that's it."

Lincoln saw that both Lynn and Luna were still shocked by all this. He understood it was a lot, especially the part about Suki and Liberty. For the longest time they were silent, all four of them. Suddenly Lynn was the first to do something. The tomboy got up and unexpectedly ran at Lincoln and tried to kick him in the crouch! Luckily Lincoln was fast to grab her kick, he then quickly turned her around and put her in a bear hug as gently as he could.

"Okay I'm real tired of people going for my nuts!" Lincoln growled out doing his best to keep a hold of Lynn. Who was trying to struggle out of her brother's hold. "Alright just calm down Lynn."

"SHUT UP!" Lynn roared out still struggling. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU LIED TO ALL OF US!"

Lincoln didn't say a word he only kept his hold on his sister. Both Lucy and Luna stayed put. Lucy looked like she wanted to intervene but decided to stay out of it. This needed to happen. Luna just sat there looking at her brother and sister with a solemn look.

After a few minutes Lynn started to calm down, she became limp. Lincoln kept holding onto her to make sure it wasn't a trick. Even when he started to hear soft crying. He then felt something wet touching his arms. Looking down he saw that it was Lynn.

"W—why didn't you tell us?"

That was an easy question for Lincoln to answer yet he couldn't say it. These past few days has been emotionally draining, his family preparing for this trip, finally building the nerve to face Ronnie Anne and of course dealing with his family. Now with all this happening he just didn't have the answer.

Part of Lincoln wanted to put it all on his dad, he was the one who wanted him to keep this all a secret in the first place. It was easy to see why. There was no telling what grief his mom and the rest of the girls would feel. Still it didn't feel right lying to his mom and sisters. It really hasn't been working so well so far. Just look what's happening right now.

Lincoln kept quiet as he turned Lynn around and gave her a hug. Since she was still crying Lynn didn't put up a fight. She simply wrapped her arms around her big brother and hid her face against his chest while still crying. Both Lucy and Luna remained quiet as this happened, though a lot of thoughts were going through their heads.

Lucy for one wasn't used to seeing her sister/roommate like this. Lynn always put up a tough girl act, it reminded her of the day Lincoln showed up. Something about him just seems to make their older sisters act strange, its like he's their kryptonite.

Luna on the other hand just sat there watching the scene.

"I'm so sorry…"

Taking a look down Lincoln saw Lynn still misty eyed as she looked back up at him. Her grip around him was still strong, she wasn't gonna stop hugging him any time soon.

"About your fiancée and baby I mean, you kind of deserved the butt kicking I was about to unleash on your butt." Lynn chuckled softy as she sighed. "I'm also sorry about what you had to go through. I wish you didn't have to go through all that crap alone."

Before Lynn knew it she felt something soft touch her forehead, looking up she saw Lincoln giving her a loving kiss causing her to freeze up and blush slightly.

"Lynn, I wasn't really alone out there. I met a lot of amazing people while I was out there. Made a whole lot of friends and loved ones, had some cool mentors who taught me a lot. Went on some crazy adventures and had some good times. Sure there were some bad times, well a ton of bad times. But I wasn't really alone because I had all of you with me every step of the way. I know I sound like a broken record but I am sorry I left you, all of you."

Lincoln turned his head towards Luna and Lucy, both of whom averted his caring gaze. He then looked back down at Lynn who sighed as she buried her face in her brother's chest.

"God you're such a sap Lincoln, just shut up so I can hug you."

"Hehe, okay sis." Lincoln chuckled as he ruffled Lynn's hair a little. "I love you, all of you. You know that right?"

Nothing came from Lynn except a small smile. Causing Lincoln to smile as well, which diminished a little as he looked over to Luna and Lucy. Gently breaking off his hug with Lynn, Lincoln walked over to his bed where Luna and Lucy were at. Taking a seat beside Luna he took a long look at the rocker then at Lucy who gave a understanding nod.

"Lynn lets go."

Before Lynn could argue Lucy had grabbed her arm and marched her out of Lincoln's room. It was surprising to see little Lucy overpower Lynn, maybe it was because of how random it was? Anyways both Lucy and Lynn were gone leaving only Lincoln and Luna.

Both brother and sister just sat there quietly. They occasionally gave each other a glance but remained silent. Which was a complete contrast to who Luna was. Strangely she was acting like the way she used to be.

"You know it's okay to hate me."

With a surprised expression Luna turned to stare at her brother. Lincoln had a somber smile as he kept his gaze ahead of him, just staring at his door.

"I've done a lot of shitty things ever since I left. Got a lot of regrets, from what I told you girls you can probably guess what. I'm a lousy person Luna. No doubt about that. I'm… a coward if anything. Always running away from my problems instead of facing them. Again I'm sorry for everything, for running away and hurting you girls. Some older brother I am, I wish I could have been the brother you girls deserve. Everyone I hurt and lost… I wish I was someone you all deserve. I wish I could have done more."

Tears gently fell down Lincoln's face as he took a deep breath.

"Man, I am such a mess."

"No, you're human."

Suddenly Lincoln felt something soft grasp his hand, looking over he saw Luna holding his hand.

"Lincoln, you sell yourself too short. No doubt you've made mistakes but you've done a lot of amazing things. You pretty much raised us girls by yourself when mom and dad were busy. Still that didn't stop you from doing good in school and making tons of friends. You could have just done whatever you want but you used up all your free time and then some just so you can be there for us. You made so many friends while out there by yourself, heck you even fell in love. Tried to make a family of your own. I'm really sorry for what happened to them."

Next thing Luna did really caught Lincoln off guard as she wrapped her arms around his arm and rested her head against his shoulder. Lincoln had no idea what to do so he kept quiet.

"I've been a terrible sister to you Lincoln, at first I thought you deserved it. Guess I hated you for leaving and everything but after hearing what you went through. I know now that I was just being stupid and petty. I'm sorry, you didn't deserve any of that crap I put you through. I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said to you… I wanna give you a chance again, if you'll let me. Can I be… your little moon again? Please?"

Luna got her answer as Lincoln planted a kiss on top of her head. She looked up to see Lincoln smiling down lovingly at her.

"You never stopped Luna being that to me." Lincoln laughed with a smile as he rested his head on top of Luna's. "Remember what I said Luna, I'll never stop loving any of you."

No words could describe what Luna was feeling so she did what felt right. She pulled her arms off Lincoln and immediately gave him a hug. The sudden weight caused both to flop down on top of the bed. Lincoln just laughed as Luna buried her face into her brother's chest.

Again everything was silent which didn't bother either one of them. Lincoln laid there with Luna resting on top of him. In an odd way it was peaceful. In fact it reminded him of a memory long ago. Where Lincoln was just 5 years old, his parents were busy with Lori and Leni while they left the barely 1 year old Luna to him. He managed to calm her down which resulted in her falling asleep on his chest.

Almost like what was happening now.

For a moment as Lincoln looked down it was like he was seeing a small 1 year old Luna resting on top of him. Suddenly he saw her changed into the strong and rocking girl who she is now. It caused his heart to swell, he smiled as he patted Luna's head.

"Hey uh Luna, as much as I love being a pillow is there anything else you wanna—"

Lincoln didn't get the chance to finish as Luna placed a finger on his mouth shutting him up.

"Bro… just shut up and let me make up for a lot of missed out hugs."

Letting out a sigh Lincoln just chuckled and patted his sister's head one more time. He knew better to go against whatever his sisters wishes were, better to just lay here and enjoy the moment.

"Hey Luna."

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to go with you all on this trip?"

"What do you think?"

"What about Lori?"

Sighing a bit Luna looked up at her brother causing her to rest her chin on his chest.

"Look bro, compare to what I've doing to you these past few weeks Lori is probably planning your demise. Like no joke."

"Hmm, believe it or not she wouldn't be the first." Lincoln chuckled sheepishly earning him a confused look from Luna. "I won't ever stop loving her even though she might have. Whatever you girls want I'll do it."

Getting a sigh from Luna and a light poke from her hand on Lincoln's nose.

"Bro, you are an amazing brother. Someone who always looks out for other people rather than yourself. But you gotta start doing what you want." Luna said very sincerely getting her brother's attention. "What do you want to do?"

It was strange, its been a long time since someone had asked him than.

"I don't really know what I want sis." Lincoln answered honestly. "Guess I just want to be happy. Somehow though I could never be that way for very long. I've lost a lot Luna. Probably more than most."

As softy as Lincoln could he held Luna bit closer. Luna just laid her head back on her brother's chest. She could hear his heartbeat which was going a steady rhythm. Still she could tell that all this was hard for him.

"I don't want to leave any of you again, that's what I want. I want us to be whole again." Lincoln admitted with a smile. "Which means wherever you guys go I'm going too. So I guess you'll have your big dope of a brother coming with you guys after all. Think you can stand me on a long boring car ride?"

He got his answer when Luna booped his nose.

"I think I can manage."

With that Lincoln let a relived sigh. Looks like he was going on the trip after all.

"Hey uh bro… is it okay if we stay like this a little longer?"

Taking a glance down Lincoln saw Luna blushing as she didn't meet his gaze. It was cute to see her act like her old shy self. God he missed seeing her like this, missed being her brother.

"Yeah Luna… whatever you want sis."

She was giving him another chance to be there for her. To be her big brother again. All of this was his chance to be a family together again. Didn't matter how long it would take. He would make sure it happened, no matter what.

Lincoln and Luna remained there, in each other's arms. enjoying the moment and making up for lost time.

Days Later

It was around middle of the morning, at the Loud House things were busy and of course loud. Right now it was finally time. For the trip Rita and Lynn. Sr have been planning. Nothing major just a simple trip to get away from everything for the weekend. Unfortunately for Lincoln there were still going to be some problems but nothing major. His dad and Lori were just gonna have to deal with him being there. That's what his mom said when he told everyone he was going.

Of course not everyone was happy he was going but he didn't care.

Right now he was outside putting everything into the back of Vanzilla. He volunteered to do it of course much to all except one of his sisters delight. It wasn't hard not at all. He's done a lot harder things than packing stuff away. As he was doing that he saw his dad coming out of the house to come check on him and Vanzilla.

"How is it coming along son?"

Lincoln smirked as he kept on putting bags and suitcases into the van.

"So far so good, lot of luggage for just the weekend." Lincoln remarked with a chuckled he and his dad shared. "I shouldn't be surprise though considering who my sisters are."

While Lincoln continued to pack away his dad walked over to help him along. Both did this in silence until Lynn. Sr finally spoke.

"You and Luna seem to have been getting along better." Lynn. Sr stated looking over at his son. "Mind telling me how that happened?"

"Yeah, I do mind a little."

That's when both men stopped packing to stare at one another rather seriously. It was no secret their relationship was strained even before Lincoln ran away. They still cared about each other, it was just how they were.

"Look all I want to know is did you tell her?"

"Tell her what exactly dad?" Lincoln asked back hotly. "About the shit you want me to keep quiet about? The shit I went through? If you're scared mom will find out don't worry. I know our agreement."

After saying that Lincoln went on packing everything away. His dad soon did the same, both were silent again as this happened. Not long until they were done putting away everything. Lynn. Sr left without a word and Lincoln stood there watching him. When he saw his dad enter the house Lincoln sighed and leaned against Vanzilla.

Things were not going to get easier that's for sure. He had no idea where they were going but Lincoln wouldn't mind the change of scenery. Still part of him was worried about what was going to go down once they got back. He still wanted to get to know more about the rest of the girls, mainly Lisa and probably Lucy. The young goth after all knew more about him than he knew about her. It seemed only right.

Either way he wanted to spend more time with his sisters.

What was he going to do about Lori? Now that was something he was going to think hard about. Because there was no way he was going to tell her anything about his past. Enough people already know. Guess he'll have to cross the bridge when he comes to it. Whether or not Lori throws him off that bridge is the question.

There's was also the need of getting his driver's license and a job. Sure he could drive without it like always and he still had some cash but he wasn't that stupid. His mother was someone not to trifle with, no way. Also having a steady job wouldn't be too bad. Maybe he could try and get his GED or something.

"Alright kids time to go!"

Lincoln looked over to see his parents and his sisters leaving the house. Charles and the rest of the pets would be staying but would be fine since they had left much needed food and water for them until they got back. Now came the hard part of this whole thing.

Choosing seats.

It was lucky Vanzilla lasted this long and the sheer size of it. Perfect for such a large and crazy family. The number of seats were not a problem, no problem at all. It was deciding where you want to sit was the problem. Lincoln didn't really care who he sat by, though if it was Lori he doubt he'll survive the drive. Other than that there was only one other problem.

"I call dibs next to Lincoln!"

"Like me too!"

"What?! No fair! Lynn you and Leni always do this! I wanna sit next to Lincoln this time!"

"I'm with Lana, you can't keep hogging Lincoln!"

"If I may interject your useless squabbling, myself and Lily would prefer to be seated next to our male sibling."

"Dude, you're only saying that because you don't wanna sit next to me or Luan."

"Perhaps if you two would control your foolish shenanigans I would not need to take such drastic actions."

A small smile and chuckle came from Lincoln as he shook his head at his sisters who had now fallen into full blown arguing about who gets to sit next to him. Lori scoffed and got into Vanzilla, taking a seat in the far back but not before she shot a dirty look at Lincoln like usual. This time she gave a conflicted glance at Luna, Lori knew something happened to cause Luna's sudden change towards to Lincoln. When they got back she promised to find out how and why. In the meantime Lori decided to just sit silently and ignore her old brother. Too bad for her the rest of her sisters were making that difficult by arguing.

Odd as it was but a wave of nostalgia hit both Lincoln and Lori as they watched their sisters. It reminded them of a time long ago when a young Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn would fight over Lincoln. Didn't matter what it was, they all just wanted to be with him. Lori quickly dashed away any happy memories as she tried to ignore everything around her.

Lincoln just kept smiling while he looked at his sisters.

Things were far from perfect but Lincoln knew he was going to try and make things right. Because that's what family does. For better or worse that's what he wanted most of all.

To Be Continued

AN: Man, took a long time but I finally updated. I'm sorry it took so long but I've just been dealing with a lot. God where to begin… I lost my dog, Rico. He just took off and he was really old. Doubt he's alive but I still hope and keep looking, even posted reward money. I've been going to the local job corps to try and get my high school and a trade. Hoping to do hospitality, you know like hotel and restaurant stuff. Found out I'm diabetic and have been making some serious lifestyle changes. It's not too bad thankfully but I gotta make these changes work and its been difficult. Worst of all I recently lost my sister… she was 17 and she's just gone. I don't wanna tell you how or why it happened because that's my business. Lets just say me and Lincoln are in the same boat. I should have been a better brother and be there for her but I wasn't. Family is important, that's all I got to say. Thankfully I should be updating more frequently hopefully. I'm happy you guys have stuck around and love this story even though its not that good. I've made a whole lot of mistakes but I'm improving I think. Anyways, if you got suggestions, questions or whatever just leave them in a review. Expect the next chapter whenever, hopefully not too long. See ya and thanks for reading!