Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot.

A/N: This is AU so if things are different and don't make sense or you don't like something just go with it, don't read it or post a polite comment. I would also like to point out that I am in no way a professional writer, so if there's a mistake in grammar, British vs American accents, etc. please be nice about it! I wrote this for fun after being inspired by other fanfics and did my best to edit. I might make some changes as the story goes on, so sorry if things randomly change or don't make sense for a while. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'm sorry if you don't, but this is written mostly for my own entertainment so oh well!

Chapter 1: What now?

Hermione had done everything she could for the war. Even before Voldemort was resurrected, in fact ever since facing the obstacle course leading to Quirrel with Harry and Ron in first year, she knew that Harry would have to face Voldemort and win one day. And she knew that she would be right beside him the whole way there. It was inevitable, and they absolutely had to win. For Harry, Ron, all of their friends and their classmates, for everyone in the wizarding world and even in the muggle world. Every mistake would cost lives.

So, Hermione did absolutely everything she could. Until that first year of Hogwarts she continuously worked to be the smartest and best to make her parents and the world proud, as well as to finally be accepted and have friends to care for her and support her. The manner in which she befriended Harry and Ron, fighting a mountain troll that a professor had released into the school, shifted her priorities. While she had finally gained one of the things she had chased her whole life, friends who cared about her, she had seen how easily all could be lost. Her life, her friends' lives, order, justice and the lives of everyone in the wizarding and muggle worlds could have been destroyed that night if the troll had succeeded in killing Harry, Ron and herself while Quirrel/Voldemort had succeeded in obtaining the Philosopher's Stone.

After that night, Hermione studied not to be the one who shone brightest and everyone looked up to and admired, but the one who could support Harry and keep him and everyone else alive. The one who could keep their worlds in order. While Harry was her friend and for that alone she worked hard to help him in any way possible, she also knew that everything always centered around him. His success or failure against Voldemort defined everything. And while Divination was usually rubbish, there was a certain truth to the prophecy of Harry having the power and responsibility to defeat Voldemort. Yes, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but Voldemort made it come true nonetheless. Still, nobody ever said that Harry had to do it all alone with no help.

While he did not ask, Hermione felt that it was her duty. She could tell Ron felt it too. She read and learned everything in the hopes of it one day being useful and making the difference between success and failure, life and death (like the obscure knowledge of the love of music of the Cerberus). Ron tried to keep Harry happy and in as normal a mental state as possible. Together, they evened out Harry's personality and tried to cover his weaknesses, (lack of time to research and aversion to asking questions drilled into him by his relatives, as well as propensity to sulk and shoulder all of the responsibility himself). Eventually, Harry learned to rely on both of them and they became the Golden Trio, not just the Boy Who Lived.

This is why while Harry learned Occlumency in fifth year with Professor Snape, Hermione studied Occlumency and Legilimency on her own and tried to teach some basics to Ron as well. It came much more naturally to her with her pre-existing urges to organize everything and natural ability to visualize than to Ron who had never done anything like this before and whose personality was more relaxed and sloppy. Eventually, during the summers at Grimmauld Place, Hermione even managed to convince Professor Snape to test her shields and give her some pointers.

This is also why during the times spent at Grimmauld Place, she read all books pertaining to the Dark Arts she could in order to understand what they were up against and secretly practiced some spells as well. She knew it corrupted the soul, but she knew she could never defeat someone like Bellatrix Lestrange using spells like Stupefy alone. She tried to teach Harry and Ron the most useful and least damaging spells, but she was cautious, because Harry and Ron seemed too tempted to snap already. Harry struggled with the horcrux in his head and his guilt over not doing enough and Ron had feelings of not being good enough compared to his siblings and now his friends. Both could easily push them to lose themselves in dark magic; it had happened many times before to similar wizards Hermione read about.

Yet with Hermione's organization of her thoughts thanks to Occlumency, she knew herself very well. While she felt the corruption due to the ability to kill and torture easily and the little urge to do it every time she was upset, she could recognize that part of herself and stop it. She directed these thoughts and feelings towards those who needed to be dealt with ruthlessly, the truly evil killers like Bellatrix and Anton Dolohov who could not go free. Not unless she wanted to be responsible for more loss of life.

She knew that some people knew that she was practicing Dark magic, like Remus Lupin, Professor Snape and Mad-Eye Moody. She saw them keeping an eye on her, but they recognized that she was still in control of herself. Hermione appreciated it and asked them to help her learn how to fight better. They all had different yet similar styles. All were completely aware of their surroundings (Constant Vigilance!) and used them to their advantage. Yet some used quieter, sneakier and actually deadlier spells (Snape) while others hit with a bang to throw their opponents off balance and distract others (Moody). Hermione learned all of these methods and combined them to make herself a truly unpredictable, creative and ruthlessly efficient opponent. Furthermore, she used summers with her parents to learn some Muggle fighting techniques and kept practicing year round. At her mentors' insistence, she also stayed fit by taking up running and agility training. After the discovery of the Room of Requirement in fifth year, she often trained there alone with obstacle courses and practice dummies.

At the start of sixth year, Hermione asked Professor McGonagall to give her secret Animagus lessons. She argued that it could be a great way to escape certain situations and stay hidden. Finally, her professor gave in. Hermione learned quickly as usual and by the end of sixth year she had the alternate form of a red fox that only Professor McGonagall knew about. They smiled when she first transformed, as the red fox was curious, adaptable, a predator and a prey, and usually travelled in a small group.

She was becoming a great soldier. Even better was that her small, lithe frame hid her fitness. No one would suspect that the short, bookish girl was constantly aware of her surroundings and escape routes, was trained in hand to hand combat and could almost duel on par with Mad-Eye Moody. Hermione even noticed that she was starting to do some spells wandlessly due to the feeling of her magic expanding and feeling the connection between herself and it growing stronger.

Still, she kept all of this a secret. No one needed to know. Likewise, no one needed to know that during the Horcrux hunt, she would disappear on her times to watch while setting a monitoring charm to hunt some small power Death Eaters and torture them for information. This practice also improved her Legilimency skills. Later, she would either obliviate them if they would be missed, or kill them if they wouldn't. It was hard at first, but necessary she told herself. She passed the information to Remus via an enchanted wolf pin (working like the DA coin in fifth year).

Still, all this was not quite enough. Yes, they won the Final Battle and Harry beat Voldemort and came out alive. But Ron did not. Professor Snape did not. Remus, Tonks, Lavender, Colin, and so many others did not. And to herself, Hermione admitted that perhaps she did not quite make it either.

While Harry grieved for Ron, he could move on somehow. He comforted the Weasleys, started a relationship with Ginny, went to Auror training, re-modelled Grimmauld Place, took care of Teddy part time, hunted rogue Death Eaters and promoted the message of moving on while continuing to protect the wizarding world. He really was a perfect hero.

Meanwhile, Hermione felt hollow. Voldemort was dead. Harry could manage on his own. Ron, her constant companion and sympathizer was dead. Remus, Mad-Eye and Professor Snape, her mentors who would have understood, were dead. And she was still a soldier, changed by the Dark Arts, torture, killing, training and paranoia. Yet there was no more war for her to fight.

She could no longer interact with people easily. She simply did not know what to talk about. All of their topics seemed faded and unnecessary to her. While logically she knew she should be helping rebuild, comforting, perhaps studying to argue for creature rights or Healing, she knew she could not. Not anymore. Not when she was still wired to fight, to move, to constantly watch for threats.

So she left. They no longer needed her. She would simply hold them back from returning to their normal lives. Even her own parents with their memories restored would no longer recognize what their daughter had become. They would not understand. No one who she knew and was alive would understand. She simply did not belong. So she left to travel, to learn more about the world, to find herself a new place to fit, to get away.

While almost all parts of the old eleven year old Hermione were gone, there were three aspects left: her need to belong somewhere, her drive to improve and her curiosity. She still felt the need to explore, to know more, to do more. So that is what she focused on. She traveled around Europe. She felt numb but her curiosity focused her mind on books, languages, architecture, art, anything to distract from the the feeling of guilt, failure and violent anger. She sent Harry an owl once a week to keep him from worrying and continued to drift and absorb knowledge. Until one day she took a tour to Volterra.