Chapter 71:

A/N: I apologise for the delay in writing. University has been so busy and I've had hardly any free time to write!

Characters:

Carla Tilsley

Nick Tilsley

Alfie Tilsley (regular OC)

Sophie Koleano (regular OC)

Michelle Connor

Robert Preston

CHRISTMAS AGAIN

Carla

"Tell me I've slept through the day and it's the twenty sixth?" I murmur as I wake, sensing Nick was watching me sleep. A kiss is pressed to my forehead and my eyes flutter open, meeting his gaze from the pillow next to me.

"Stop pretending you hate it." He pokes my cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, that." I smile, biting my lip as he moves in to kiss me. "Merry Christmas you."

Nick

"Oh wow!" Carla exclaims as she carries Alfie down the stairs, despite having seen it all the night before. The colourful array of presents causes Alfie's eyes to light up, his hair fluffy from sleep, yawning tiredly. "Look at what Santa has brought for you?"

My heart melts. She was an inspiration to all women who think they can't do it, can't be loved, can't find happiness. And she had; she'd fought to be here and she made me prouder every day.

I had to admit, the living room floor was covered in gifts. The three of us had a lot of amazing people in our lives. I couldn't feel luckier.

"Santa came down the chimney?" He asks Carla, looking at her inquisitively and she nods, pointing to the fireplace.

"Do you think Rudolph ate his carrot? And Santa drank his drink?" Kneeling down, she lowers him to see the plate by the log burner, a half-eaten carrot lying on top of it.

"Rudolph ate my cayyot! Daddy!" He squeals in excitement, clearly transfixed by the whole prospect. It was adorable. He'd been too young last year, but this time around the magic was really beginning to start for him.

"No way!" I exchange a look with Carla, unable to stop smiling. "I bet he enjoyed that... And I bet Santa liked his whiskey, I think he probably really needed it after all his hard work."

Carla shakes her head at me, laughing to herself, before dipping her chin against Alfie's hair, closing her eyes contently.

Carla

"Coffee." I feel a warmth as it's passed into my hands, Nick's arm securing around me as he takes a seat on the sofa next to me. We both watch Alfie choose a present from his very large pile, looking at us as if waiting for permission. "Go on then. You know how to open presents by now."

"Pull the wrapping off." I demonstrate with one of mine and he copies.

"Is that just so you can open one?" Nick nudges me and I give him a look. I lower it back down onto the pile after Alfie's taken the hint on pulling the wrapping excitedly off his. "Who's that even from?"

"Probably should have checked the labels before we let him tear into it." I contemplate, watching him struggle slightly. "Do you want a hand sweetie?"

"Stay there." Nick squeezes my shoulder, kissing my nose before leaving me to sit down next to Alfie. "Ok, what have you got?" He helps our son to peel the paper from his present, pulling a robotic bug looking toy out of the packaging.

"...What is that?" I pull a face, holding my hand out. "Chuck me that wrapping babe."

"It says it's a 'Beat-Bot'. Wow, look at that." Nick shows Alfie, sliding it onto the floor in front of him.

"It's from Great Grandma Audrey, isn't that nice?" I ask Alfie, who already seems very interested in the product. He presses down on the big button on the toy's tummy, instantly firing it into action as it lights up and starts making different sounds. Groaning, I glance at Nick, who has an equally annoyed look on his face. "...Your gran could have bought something a bit quieter."

Alfie squeals with laughter, pressing his hand down onto it again, clearly loving it. That was all that mattered. As irritating as it could possibly be; Alfie was happy, I was happy.

Nick

I tap a present off Carla's head, who jumps slightly at the contact, having been contently watching Alfie wade through his gifts. He had gradually got more of an idea, after all, he had a lot of presents to practice the art of unwrapping on. So I had returned to Carla's side, as time ticked on.

"It'll be dinner time before we've finished opening these." Carla points to the scene in front of her. We were about halfway through, which was progress and she checks the clock to see it is half eight. "Sophie's coming at ten."

"Yes so get opening." I push the present towards her again and she takes it, smiling at my eagerness.

"Who could this be off?" She raises an eyebrow, reading the label. "Oh, you didn't even bother writing on it? I expect cute, soppy messages Nick."

"You hate cute and soppy!" I laugh at her pouty expression. "Most of the time." Taking it from her, I grab the pen from the coffee table scrawling a note on the blank label out of her view. "There you go then, is that better?"

Merry Christmas sweetheart, you look beautiful xx

"...Ah." She tilts her head to the side, not cringing which was a surprise.

"See, had I written that before, I wouldn't be able to write exactly what I was thinking, would I?"

"Oh you're smooth." She narrows her eyes, kicking her legs up onto my lap as she proceeds to open it. Pulling out the velvet box, she pops it open to unveil the silver bangle, four diamonds set evenly around it. "Nick that's gorgeous."

"It's got their four birthdays on the inside." I tilt it to show her the engraved dates spaced between where the diamonds are festinated into the silver.

"Four?"

"Yeah, Sophie's is there and all." I point it out to her, as she reads them in awe, looking back at me with tears in her eyes. "Oh don't cry, I do this to you every year."

"For good reasons." She wraps her arms around me, squeezing me tightly for a few seconds. "Nick... That's beautiful... Thank you so much. You're always so thoughtful with presents."

"I know I like to try and excel myself." I say proudly as she looks back at it, slipping it out of the box and clasping it onto her wrist.

"Well you've certainly done that." She rubs her finger over the detailing, smiling back at me. "It's perfect."

"You're perfect."

"Ok, maybe not that cute and soppy." She giggles, pulling me in to kiss her. "Thank you. Thank you."

XIXIXIXIXXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXI

"Right, fizz." Carla pops the cork, assembling glasses on the coffee table. "Chelle?"

"Oh uh, it's a bit early for champagne isn't it?" She checks her watch, and I notice Carla furrow her brow.

"It's Christmas!" She exclaims, shrugging her shoulders as she passes a glass to me. "Ok, be boring then."

"Oi!" Michelle exclaims, kicking her gently as Robert slots his arm around her. "Oh here he is!" Her eyes light up as Alfie totters out of the kitchen, a doll in each hand. Our son's face creases into an excited grin as he heads over to her. "Happy Christmas munchkin." She lifts Alfie onto her lap, planting a kiss into his hair. "Did Santa come and bring you lots of toys?"

"Santa's brought him too many toys." Carla assures her, glancing around the room at where we had attempted to clear the remnants of present unwrapping. "Uh, Nick, there's still paper on the floor."

"Yeah Nick, it's not good enough." Michelle teases me and I narrow my eyes at her. "We'll go somewhere else next year if you're going to leave it in such a state."

"Oh why don't you do that." I dare her, watching how she runs her fingers through Alfie's hair.

"It's for Sophie's benefit, not yours." Carla laughs it off, passing Robert a glass. "I don't care how scruffy my house looks to you."

"D'you know what? She makes me feel so loved sometimes." She looks down at Alfie, taking the doll he is passing her.

"What time is she coming over?" Robert asks. We had made sure there wasn't the usual large crowd of our families this year, so as not to scare Sophie. But it was becoming some kind of tradition that Michelle and Robert spent the day with us every Christmas, and if Sophie was to meet anyone first, it was them.

"Well she should have been here fifteen minutes ago." Carla checks her watch, turning to me worriedly. "Do you reckon everything's ok?"

"It'll be fine. Christmas celebrations, they'll just be running late." I smooth my hand down the back of her hair. Carla hooks her phone up the speaker, the festive hum of Christmas music filling the air. "Carla's cooking dinner today."

"What?" Michelle looks up abruptly, sheer panic in her eyes.

"What?" Carla repeats, a more severe expression on her face and I have to laugh, my eyes darting between them. "God, Tilsley, don't joke about that. Chelle looks like she's about to have a heart attack."

"I'll check on the turkey actually." Robert rises from the sofa, heading into the kitchen promptly.

"Is this why you invite us over every year?" Michelle arches her brow at the pair of us. "So you can sit drinking champagne while my husband cooks your dinner for you?"

"Uh, you're in no place to comment, lazy." Carla jibes, a humorous smirk on her face as the doorbell rings out. "Oh God, oh right, ok."

"Calm it down."

"Is that music too loud?"

"Carla, it's fine!" I place my hands firmly on her shoulders, giving her a reassuring look before steering her towards the door.

"If this is Norris carol singing." She mutters to herself, before proceeding to open the door, a joyful 'hi' leaving her lips upon answering.

"She might be shy." I warn Michelle quietly, and she nods understandingly, moving to sit down on the carpet with Alfie, as he shows her his new toys. "Hi Sophie, Merry Christmas!" I greet her with a broad smile as she appears from around the door, waving at me timidly. I can hear Carla talking in deep conversation to Natalie, so I take the liberty of introducing our potential daughter to Michelle in the process. "Uh, come in. Have you had a good morning?"

She nods, settling slightly but watching Michelle with slight confusion and awkwardness. "Hello."

"This is Michelle, our best friend, Alfie's auntie and her husband Robert is in the kitchen."

"Hiya Sophie, it's nice to meet you." Michelle smiles warmly, waving to her and Sophie hesitantly takes a seat on the carpet nearby.

"It's very nice to meet you too." She speaks clearly, careful to pronounce her words and be polite. Which she had clearly been prepared about doing on the way here. Her eyes drift to where Alfie is making noises under his breath, driving a toy car around the new play mat Aidan had bought him. I'd been careful to stow away the fire engine we had bought him to upstairs. We didn't want to take any risks, today of all days, when all I wanted was to see Sophie happy. "Hi Alfie."

"Alfie, say hello to Sophie." I kneel down next to him pointing her out. "Do you remember Sophie? She came to play last week?"

"Heyyo." He raises his palm, clearly recognising her and I pat his head to praise him. "Rudolph ate his cayyot." Repeating it from earlier, Sophie looks interested at his comment but doesn't hasten a reply. Instead, he looks up at Michelle, who is gazing at Sophie with some kind of subtle nostalgia. "Auntie Chelle? Rudolph ate his cayyot."

"Did he?" Her gaze snaps back to him, widening her eyes in amazement. "Wow, did you leave one out for him last night?" Alfie nods in response, climbing into her lap and fiddling with her necklace.

"Sophie, do you want a drink?" I offer and she turns her attention to me. "I've got some squash?"

"Yes please." She replies politely and I squeeze Michelle's shoulder as I stand up.

"You'll be ok with her?"

"Yeah, course." She waves me off and I head into the kitchen to meet the sight of Robert chopping carrots.

"I could've done that." I produce the bottle of squash from the cupboard as he looks up from his work. "We were only joking you know, that's not the only reason we invited you."

"Charmin'." He scoffs, pushing the chopping board back slightly. "Just thought I'd get some of the prep done. That's enough carrots for everyone isn't it?"

"Should be fine. How's the turkey?"

"Looking beautiful." He smiles to himself modestly. "So, you've got yourself a proper little family this Christmas." He peers through the door, indicating to where Michelle is helping Sophie with a jigsaw puzzle. "Chelle's already got herself stuck in."

"She's amazing with children isn't she?"

"Yeah." Robert gazes at her distantly for a moment, completely lost in thought. "She really is."

Carla

"She's really sweet." Michelle comments, leaning up against the door frame before putting the glasses she has cleared down on the kitchen surface. "You seem like a proper little family."

"Yeah, mad isn't it?" I peer through the door, leaning back against the cupboards.

"I've never seen you so happy. You've finally nailed it, haven't you?"

"I am happy." I confirm, not even having to contemplate it. "Are you happy?"

"Completely." She nods confidently, eyes glistening over slightly. A small smile graces her cheeks as her eyes drop to the ground. "The happiest I've been in a long time, actually."

"Are you crying?" I stifle a laugh, placing a finger under her chin to bring her gaze back to mine. "Chelle?" I study how she bites her lip, unable to stop smiling suspiciously. "What's going on..." I trail off, pausing for a moment. "...You're not? You're not?" My eyes widen excitedly and she gives a small nod, tears filling her eyes. "You are? Oh my God Chelle." I pull her into a tight hug, crying myself now. I don't let her go for about half a minute, sealing her gratefully in my arms. "Oh my... When? What? Explain, Mrs."

"I'm only eight weeks so keep it on the quiet." She raises a finger to her lips. "We've got the scan next week."

"I had no idea you were trying!" I exclaim, noticing that she clearly didn't care if I raised my voice. She knew I'd tell Nick anyway, and it was hardly as if Sophie or Alfie would take particular notice. "Oh it all makes sense now; the hormones, the not drinking. Ahh..."

"Oh she's let the secret out of the bag then?" Robert pipes up from the living room and Michelle pulls a face, tugging on my hand as we head back in. "I knew you wouldn't keep it zipped until the scan."

"Hang on, what?" Nick stares at us in shock and I nod at him excitedly. "What? Congratulations! I had no idea."

"Well, we thought why not hey? Robert's always wanted a child of his own." Michelle tucks into my side as I wrap an arm around her. "Just fingers crossed everything will go to plan."

"It will." I assure her confidently, turning her to face me. "It'll all be fine. Ok? I'm so happy for you." Pulling her into another hug, I hear the faint clink of glasses as Nick and Robert toast one another.

"Here's to new beginnings then."

XIXIXIXXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

"Nick bought me this bracelet and it has your birthday on it. All four of you. Not a second goes by where I don't miss you, sweetheart. And daddy too." I whisper into the quietness of the garden. I was past the point of feeling silly for talking to my baby girl. Now it just felt natural. The pot with her plaque engraved on it wasn't in blossoming season, but a few white roses still bloom, as I tended to it regularly to make sure she was well looked after all year round. It was the only gardening I really did. In the summer I'd sit out with Alfie on the sofa swing, reading stories or watching Nick mow the lawn. Or the little wooden swing that had seen it's fair bit of action the past year. Sometimes I'd just sit out here alone, with her, watching the sunset or counting the stars, wondering which of them was her, shining down on us. "I love you." I kiss my hand, pressing it to the plaque on the pot.

"You've been a while, I just came to check you were ok." Michelle's voice is so soft it doesn't make me jump, and I smile up at her, brushing the tears from my cheeks. Patting the grass next to me before she can walk away again, she weighs up the lawn, before giving in and sitting down. "You alright?"

"Yeah." I whisper, nodding to myself as I keep my eyes fixed on the pot in front of me. "Just been chatting away. She's probably fed up of me wittering on."

"I doubt that." Michelle wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling herself closer to me. "I've just been chatting away to Sophie and all."

"Yeah?" I perk up slightly, gazing across at her. "You getting along?"

"Carla, she's adorable. She was telling me all about the Christmas tree she decorated at the children's home and her favourite songs, books." She hesitates, weighing up my expression. "She's strong, courageous, inspirational... She reminds me of you. So much."

"...Really?" The word hangs off my tongue, eyes searching her expression and she nods sincerely.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought it yourself." She laughs softly and I shrug in admittance. It was true; from the second I'd noticed her sat in the corner at Sunny Days, I'd known there was a connection there. And I saw more and more of her in me as time went on. "It was my first thought, as soon as I saw her... Except she's a bit more well kept and... Well read."

"Oi." I nudge her playfully, tears spilling down my cheeks for no apparent reason. My eyes drift back to the pot in front of me, smiling softly at everything I had achieved. "And now you've got your future ahead of you and all. And he or she is going to be the luckiest child in the world, Chelle." My head tilts back to look at her. "I mean that. Ryan, Ali, Ruairi and this one, you're an amazing mum to them all."

"I'm crying and all now, cheers." She brushes her hand across her cheek, dropping it down to her tummy.

"Well, yes, cheers." I clink my glass against hers. "To the ones we love who've left our lives and the ones who are just coming into them."

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXI

"Your new colouring pencils work then?" I speak over to Sophie, who is drawing a picture on the mat on the floor, tongue hanging out in concentration. I'd bought her a variety of presents, remembering the story she had told me about the girl with the pencil crayons she always wanted to borrow. So I'd purchased the most extensive and colourful set I could find, which she had been in awe of, and most grateful for.

"Yes. Thank you so much." She looks up, pausing before standing and bringing the picture over to me. I push myself up from where I was lay in Nick's chest, feet kicked up on the sofa, watching her contently. Robert was asleep as Michelle tucked into his lap, going through a gigantic box of chocolates and picking out the ones she liked.

"Careful, you'll get fat Chelle." Nick dares to joke with her and she narrows her eyes, throwing one at his head which he catches effortlessly.

"What's this?" I take the picture from Sophie, studying it.

"You and Nick. Alfie... Me." She says the last word quietly, as if scared that it was pushing any boundaries. I graze my finger over the drawing, tears glistening in my eyes as I look up. "...Do you like it?"

"Sweetheart I love it." I whisper, careful not to initiate any physical contact, despite wanting to hug her so badly. I knew it would take time, and although I'd been shocked at the one she had offered me a few weeks ago, I wanted her to go at her own pace. "You're very talented aren't you? I could never draw hands."

"Did you used to have a big set of colouring pencils too?" Her eyes sparkle as she jumps up onto the sofa next to me, turning against the arm to look at both of us.

"Uh... Well, no." I admit, knowing there was no point in lying about it. "I never got many presents."

"...Why?"

"Well because... I wasn't one of the lucky children." I respond, gently and I see her working it out in her expression, pausing for a second.

"I wasn't either." Is what she replies with. "Until now."

"Oh sweetheart." I whisper, smiling as it mirrors hers. "...You will be now. Listen, I promise you, whatever happens you're safe now. And if everything is finalised as we want it to be, Nick and me, we're going to make sure you're the luckiest one from now on."

"...When will I get to live here with you?"

"Soon, hopefully. Fingers crossed." I mimic it in the air and she copies me, smiling warmly. "The process might take a while but we're going nowhere kiddo."

"You're not leaving?"

"We're not leaving." I assure her, knowing full well why she was so insecure. A life of rejection and neglect, people walking in and out, confusion, indecisive opinions, outcomes. "I'm not leaving." I repeat, meeting her gaze and she swallows, staring at me intently. Shuffling forwards, she hesitantly kneels up to put her arms around my neck, prompting me to hug her back. I feel a warmth; as if a hole had been filled. Her head nestles into my shoulder and I very softly plant a kiss against the side of her head, relishing the comfort she craved so badly, that she trusted me to give to her.

"Hey, hey. Family photo." Michelle announces, causing me to pull back, glancing at Nick and I. "Come on." Alfie turns from where he is playing at the sound of her voice and Nick rises to grab him as he runs into his arms, propping him onto his hip. We both take one of Sophie's hands, positioning ourself by the Christmas tree, as Michelle beams upon snapping the photo. "Say 'happiness'."

"Happiness."