My second day at Saarne was just as equally horrible. (As was every fucking day I was imprisoned there for five goddamn years!) I was in the cafeteria for breakfast that morning, if you could even call the 'food' they served us 'breakfast'. I believe they were slowly trying to poison everyone there; it was disgusting slop! And to make it worse, they had a record playing on an endless loop, with the same song being played over and over again. Either the old record player was broken or they were too fucking lazy to choose a different song!

'You've got to give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love...'

Ugh! Of course it just had to be a song about love, didn't it? As if I needed more reminders of how unlovable I am! And the more that damn song played on repeat, the more I surely thought my ears would start bleeding. Perhaps it was the song, or this place, or all these nutjobs around me (or all of the above) but I was getting really fucking ticked off! And it was in that moment that I realized how short my fuse really was.

The patient sitting next to me, some crazy ass woman, asked me a question regarding my height, and the words she used did not sit well with me at all. In that split second all I saw was red and all I could hear was the lyrics of that fucking song, as I suddenly jabbed my fork into the woman's hand.

'...As long as there's the two of us, we've got the world and all it's charms. And when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms...'

Just as sudden, I felt two orderlies trying to pry me off the woman, as I was still beating the shit out of her on the cafeteria floor.

"AHHHH!" I scream out at the top of my lungs, wanting everyone here to know of my rage. By now, I was trying to fight the two orderlies; kicking and biting them. But then another one ran up to me and jabbed a needle in my neck. Then everything started going fuzzy.

'...You've got to win a little, lose a little. Yes, and always have the blues a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. That's the story of, that's the glory of love...'

By the time the song was about to start up again (for the thirtith time!) I was already sedated and knocked out cold. Everything went black...

When I awoke, I was in my cell again. That damn song was still playing in my mind. I felt groggy and my head hurt like I had a hangover. I was going to lift my hand to rub my forehead, only to find that my arm couldn't move. I looked down, seeing to my horror that I was now placed in a fucking straightjacket!

"NO!" I cried out; immediately twisting and turning my body, trying to break free, but it was no use. Any struggling I did seemed to make the jacket tighter; cutting into my neck and wrists.

"LET ME OUT OF THIS THING! NOW!" I screamed, and they must've heard me, because I then heard the sound of my door unlocking. In stepped three men; two young orderlies and an older man, a doctor.

"Ah, hello, Miss Klammer. I see you're awake now," the older man said with a smile, stepping closer to me as the orderlies stayed by the door; probably to make sure I wouldn't escape. As if they actually expected me to do something in these restraints. All I could do was sit with my back against the padded wall. I was still out of it from the drugs, I couldn't even stand up right now let alone run. These fucking assholes, I swear! I felt like killing all three of them right then! But the doctor's next words brought me out of my violent thoughts.

"My name is Dr. Varava, and I'm the head doctor here at Saarne Institute. Now, I've been reading over your charts Leena, and I want to make things clear to you. I do not wish to be your enemy, nor will I tolerate any form of violence here. I, we all, are here to help you, not harm you. And everything that is done here is for your health and well-being. I truly wish to see a full recovery with you, Leena. Now..."

"Does THIS look like it's good for my fucking well-being?!" I interrupted him; jerking my body once to emphasize I was talking about the jacket.

Dr. Varava nodded grimly, "That is to keep you, and our staff and patients safe. I understand it's uncomfortable, but you must learn that there are and will be consequences for your negative outburst."

I just rolled my eyes and I could feel the tears coming. This was more than just 'uncomfortable', this was painful and humiliating. I wondered if he was ever in one of these jackets. I bet not. So he had no room to talk about how it felt!

"Please, doctor," I begged, crying now. "Let me out of this thing! I'll do anything to be let out! Please! I'm sorry!"

"Let's first discuss what happened in the cafeteria this morning. What provoked you like that, Leena?"

I lowered my head, looking down at my lap as I answered, "She...She called me a 'midget'."

"I see. So, are you in denial of your condition?" He asked.

I shot him an angry glare, "Fuck you!"

Dr. Varava sighed, "Well, Miss Klammer, if we can't discuss this like civilized adults, then..." He was turning to head out the door.

"No, wait! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

He paused. "Sorry to me, or sorry for what you did to poor Mari? You do realize she has to have stitches in her hand now and that you almost broke her nose?"

"Both! I'm sorry, for what I-I said and did!" I lied; I didn't feel a fucking thing. The bitch deserved it! "Please give me another chance, Dr. Varava! I can change, really! I want to change. Just please take this jacket off me!"

Dr. Varava paused again, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Then, to my relief, he finally nodded. "Alright, Leena. Because I believe in second chances, I'm willing to give you one. But should another episode like this happen again, I will have no choice but to restrain you again and keep you in solitary confinement."

I quickly nodded, "Yes, yes. I understand, doctor. I'll be good. I promise you!"

"Alright then."

He then nodded to the orderlies, giving them the okay to remove the straightjacket. And true to my word, I did nothing...for now. I knew it was going to be difficult to keep my temper in check, especially in this fucking place. I already wanted to burn this fucking hospital to the ground! But for now, I was just relieved not to have that thing on me. I glanced down at my wrists, which already had faint red marks from my struggling. Goddamn, how tight did they have that thing?!

"Thank you, doctor," I made sure to say, trying not to have a sarcastic undertone.

As I rubbed my now sore wrists and neck, I watched as the doctor crossed the room. He opened the drawer to my nightstand; getting out that Bible, he gently tossed it to me and it landed by my side. I glanced down at it. It was so old that rubber bands had to hold the damn thing together and the pages were stained yellow with age. Reluctantly, I picked it up and just stared at the cover.

"I don't like to judge people, Leena. As I said before, I read your charts. I know you've had a tough life and I want you to know it's not your fault. Not all of it."

I glanced up at him.

Dr. Varava shrugged, "I'm just suggesting you read that sometime. I know it can get lonely and boring in here. It'll give you something to do and hopefully, give you some things to think about. Like I said, I just want the best for you, Leena. I want you to get better."

I said nothing. The only way I'd ever get 'better' was if I was out of here, with a husband and maybe a family of my own. Was that really too much to ask? And I didn't believe in 'God' anyway; never have, never will. If there was really a higher power, then I wouldn't be in this shithole right now. And I sure as hell wouldn't be trapped inside a child's body for the rest of my fucking miserable life!

Dr. Varava nodded to the book one last time, before turning to leave with the orderlies. As they locked the door behind them, I heard Varava say to me, "Welcome to Saarne, Miss Klammer."

A tear rolled down my face slowly, landing on the Bible in my lap.

More like, 'Welcome to Hell', I thought.

And Hell it was...