Coming Into the Closet

by Waiting for my Munkustrap

Why is it, Tugger wondered, as he lay sprawled across an old, discarded card table, that someone always has to bother me when I'm trying to take a nap? It was a perfect, sunny but cool and crisp, spring morning. Of course, in Tugger-ese, they don't say "a perfect, sunny but cool and crisp, spring morning;" they say, "sleeping time." In Jellicle-ese, unfortunately, that roughly translates to "Hey! Let's go bother Tugger!"

He would have decked 'em, if it hadn't been his annoying little brother, who he admittedly cared about more than any other cat. "What. Do. You. Want. Misto?" he hissed, making the younger tomcat shrink back.

"Um, nothing," he squeaked. "Sorry."

Tugger sighed. Great. Now, he felt bad.

"No, Misto." He caught his brother's arm as he was beginning to retreat. "It's fine. What's up?"

Misto took a deep breath and sat down next to him. Something was obviously making the Conjuring Cat nervous. "Okay..." he began slowly. "I need to ask for, um, relationship advice."

Tugger couldn't help but break into a grin at that. If there was one thing he loved, it was corrupting his innocent baby brother. "Well, you've come to the right place! What is it you're struggling with, hm? Oh." He lowered his voice. "Are you having trouble performing?"

Mistoffelees knit his eyebrows together in confusion. "I mean, I guess, the kittens aren't as impressed by my magic as they used to be, but I don't really think that's a problem with my performance, just that they're growing up and it's not a novelty, anymore. Why do you ask?"

"...Never mind."

Mistoffelees sighed, "Anyway, Tugs, the thing is, there's someone I like. A lot. I just don't know how to say it, and I don't want to screw it up or ruin our friendship."

"Aw," Tugger cooed, playfully punching the younger cat's arm. "The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees has a crush, does he? Who's the lucky tom or queen, huh? No, wait. Let me guess. Is it Tumble?"

"No."

"Pounce?"

"No."

"Coricopat?"

"...No."

Okay, give me a hint.

"Well, for one," Mistoffelees chuckled nervously, "it's a queen."

"It's a- Wait, what?" Tugger stammered.

Misto didn't know what to say. "Tugs, you..." he managed. "You think I'm gay?"

"You sparkle!" the older tom cried, making his little brother blush behind the white fur on his cheeks.

"Yeah...well...you...pelvic thrust a lot," the younger tom retorted. Tugger stared at him for a second, trying to figure out if he had a point. A smile slowly crept up on his face. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I do." Misto just blushed even harder and glanced away, now unable to look his older brother in the eyes.

"Okay, okay, okay." Tugger tried to get the conversation back on track. "So, you're bi?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, Tugger," Misto sighed. "I'm straight."

"No. There's no way."

Misto groaned, "Yes, Tugger."

"Misto, even I'm bi," Tugger insisted, "and I'm a ladies man." He threw in a wink for good measure, at which Mistoffelees rolled his eyes. "Remember when I came out to the tribe?"

"You didn't come out," his brother reminded him. "You came on to Jerrie in front of all the kittens."

"It's not 'coming on to' somebody if they accept your advances," Tugger explained, winking again.

"You literally got on top of him," Mistoffelees growled. There was a brief pause, after that.

"...I did, didn't I?"

Tugger hopped down from the table and started walking off. Mistoffelees rolled his eyes and reluctantly followed. It really was a beautiful day. Even in the junkyard, birds were singing. Some weeds and flowers were sprouting up between pieces of garbage, adding a burst of color to the generally grey landscape. Mistoffelees unapologetically loved flowers, while Tugger very apologetically loved flowers. In fact, only Mistoffelees knew about that. Poppies were his favorite, while Mistoffelees preferred more elegant flowers, like orchids and roses.

"Um, Tugs?"

Tugger snapped out of his "perfect weather" trance at the sounds of his brother's voice. "Hm?"

"I was asking for your help," Mistoffelees reminded him, sounding a little irritable. Tugger smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

Mistoffelees rolled his eyes. "Clearly, you don't give a shit, and I should have left to ask someone else much earlier, but..." His voice trailed off, and he began tracing figures in the dirt with his paw. "Tugs, I don't know what to do."

Catdammit, Tugger thought to himself. Now, I feel really bad.

"I'm sorry, Misto. Really. Of course, I want to help you woo the object of your affections. So tell me, what's Victoria into?"

The younger tom's head snapped up. He stared at Tugger in bewilderment before narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Wait," he said. "Not twenty minutes ago, you were convinced I was gay. How did you know it's Victoria?"

Tugger laughed, putting an arm around the younger and much shorter cat and continuing walking. "I know you, little brother."

Mistoffelees snorted. "Apparently not."

"Come on," his older brother appealed. "You and Tori never leave each other's side. Of course, I thought you had more of a brother and sister kind of relationship. You're gonna freak a lot of people out, with that."

"Please. Not everyone thinks I'm gay."

"Yes, they do."

The tux groaned, dropping his head to look back at the ground. "Really?" His voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Once again, I appeal to the reality that you, in fact, sparkle."

Mistoffelees frowned at that. He liked his sparkly fur.

"And, of course," Tugger continued, "who could forget the friggin' sparkly, rainbow sash you pulled out of that can at the ball."

"Everlasting Cat," Mistoffelees mumbled to himself. "I am the gayest straight cat ever."

"Yes, you are," his big brother agreed, "but none of that matters now that you've, um...come into the closet." He grinned at the younger tom. "Now, little brother, we're going to get you your queen."

"No!"

"Come on, Misto, who's the expert?"

"Tugger," Mistoffelees protested, crossing him arms across his chest defiantly. "Victoria is not some whore I'm trying to bed. I've known her for her whole life. I love her. I'm not going to try to seduce her."

Tugger threw his hands up in the air. "Then, what did you come to me for?"

"Who else am I supposed to go to? Mom's AWOL. I don't even know who my dad is. My only other brother is a master criminal, for Everlasting Cat's sake!"

The young magician slumped onto the ground and stared at his feet. His big brother looked at him sadly and took a seat next to him.

"You really care about her, huh?"

Mistoffelees couldn't help but smile. "She's my best friend."

"Tell me about her."

"You know her," Mistoffelees scoffed. Tugger nudged him playfully.

"Tell me what you see in her."

The younger tom sighed, thinking. "She's amazing," he said, after a moment. "I mean, I know that word is totally overused, but she really amazes me, every day. I just can't believe a cat like her exists. She's so talented, so kind, just extraordinary. I'd rather be with her than anyone else. She makes me want to be a better cat." He laughed to himself. "She's magic."

Tugger stood up and helped Mistoffelees to his feet, as well. "Go," he said. "She's the one."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"How?"

Tugger smiled. "Victoria is one of the most beautiful queens in the city, but you haven't mentioned it, once."

Mistoffelees stammered, "Well- I mean, of course I think she's-"

"I know," Tugger laughed. "The point is, you love her for her. I've never felt that way about any queen, or tom for that matter. Now, go get her before Plato does."

Mistoffelees couldn't calm the butterflies in his stomach, as he approached Victoria. She and her brother, Pouncival, were sitting up on the old rocking chair that looked out over the clearing. He had approached her many times before. They were best friends, for Cat's sake. This time, however, it was different. This time, he was not approaching her as a friend, but as a potential suitor.

Victoria noticed and smiled at him as he approached, but he still very awkwardly cleared his throat, as if to get her attention.

"Erm, Pouncival," he stammered. "Might I...perchance, have a word alone with your...Victoria? Sister? Um, your sister, Victoria?"

Pouncival stared back at Mistoffelees, looking as if he'd just been slapped in the face with a peanut butter and honey ham sandwich. "P- Perchance?"

Victoria giggled at her brother's confusion. "I'll see you later, Pounci." She hopped down off the rocking chair as casually walked off with Mistoffelees.

Mistoffelees was made extra uncomfortable by the fact that Victoria was perfectly comfortable, as if he wasn't about to ask her something that would either result in the destruction of their friendship or in them raising kittens and happily growing old together.

"So, Misto, what did you want to talk about?"

Mistoffelees was so dazed, he didn't notice her stop and turn to face him, and he almost ran straight into her. He turned bright red.

"You okay, Mist?" Victoria asked. "I haven't seen you this nervous, since you accidentally produced seven kittens out of a hat."

That's because I haven't been this nervous, since I accidentally produced seven kittens out of a hat, Mistoffelees thought. Well, it's now or never.

"Victoria, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me."

The white queen cocked her head to one side. "A date?" she asked.

Mistoffelees looked at the clearly startled expression on her face, and his heart sank. She hadn't been expecting that, which means she clearly didn't feel the same way.

"No, you're right, it was a stupid idea," he said quickly. "Forget I even said anything." He turned on his heel and prepared to run away as fast as he possible could, but Victoria caught his arm.

"No, silly!" she laughed. "I would love to go on a date with you. I'm just surprised is all."

Ah, sweet relief. Mistoffelees grinned. "Why's that?"

Victoria shrugged. "I thought you were gay."