"Sentimental bat."

"Shut up mutt. Just. Continue before I find someone else." The bite in his tone seems to have calmed him down.

"Open your legs for me." He opens them silently. "I'm going to use a spell to summon some lube on my hands." He nods just as I start to rub the slippery liquid over my fingers. I want to warm it up a little. "First finger. No surprises."

"Just have at it already." His faux confidence seems to be calming him down. When I press my index finger into him he exhales.

"Does it hurt."

"No. No. it's fine." I slowly move the finger inside of him. In. Out. Trying to keep a constant speed. Idly I stroke him.

"Have you done this to yourself before."

"Done what…" I curl my finger inside of him.

"Fingered yourself here."

"No!" His eyes are wide. "… maybe. It's been a long time."

"How long."

"Why do you want to know." He's fighting himself.

"We are doing something that is really intimate. The more I know about what you have… or haven't done… the better I'll be able to make sure you feel good. How long Severus."

"School. I thought that… if it were you… I might could do it. It was after that night. I didn't want to be… completely inexperienced. I haven't since then. I couldn't bring myself to, and even the one time I did. I couldn't make myself feel good." He's trying to be open.

"I haven't had sex since I was in school, and it was before I became interested in you. I tried to afterwards. There was a girl. She wanted me to have sex with her. Just sex without any attachment, and I was still upset about what I had done so I thought it would help me feel better. That it would help me get over you." He's looking away from me again. "I couldn't get hard though. I couldn't become even a little bit aroused. So a couple weeks later, I tried again with a different girl. Couldn't get hard then either. A month later I bit the bullet and thought… maybe I'd be able to with a guy. I found a guy. Dark hair. Dark eyes. If you squint your eyes he could almost look like you. I thought maybe if it were him it would work."

"Did it?" His voice is quiet.

"No. Not a single bit. But whenever I'd lay in my bed and think about you, I'd become hard every time." I add a second finger and he tenses slightly. When I rub his hip he exhales. "Try to relax. It'll sting less."

"Why are you telling me this."

"Well obviously I don't want you to hurt." I scissor my fingers. He's so tight.

"Not that..." I knew what he meant.

"I didn't want to lie to you. I thought… you should know. Would you have preferred that I didn't tell you?"

"No. I'm glad you did." His erection is leaking precum. When I return to stroking him all of the tension in his body leaves. "This… isn't so bad." His hair is spilled out like ink on the pillow. He looks beautiful. It's just like that time. I should tell him. I curl my fingers inside of him and his back arches. All at once he's gasping.

"Did that feel good." He looks at me briefly before looking away.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to do that again."

"…if you do then I might cum. I am not use to this amount of stimulation." I press against his prostrate again. A strained whine leaves his vocal cords. My hand leaves his erection to press to the back of his head. His hair is soft to the touch. When I pull his face towards mine he initiates the kiss. My fingers work faster. Even as he's moaning into my mouth my fingers are working in and out of him faster. His tongue is tasting me, and I let him. I let him rely on instincts and desires. He pulls away abruptly and buries his face into my shoulder. He's screaming. His fingers are digging into my arm. But he hasn't asked me to stop.

"Does it feel good Severus." He's nodding from his hiding place. Still openly moaning. Still writhing in my arms. "Good. You deserve to feel like this. You deserve to feel good." He's gasping hard and I can feel warmth on my belly. "Severus. I'm going to enter you now. Is that okay. You need to tell me now if it's not because I will not be able to stop once I'm inside of you."

"You'll… go slow."

"Yes."

"Can I. Can I stay like this?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I think I'm ready. Please continue."

"Alright. It might sting. It might even be uncomfortable at first, but just try to stay calm and relaxed. If you get nervous it will hurt more." I lift his hips and pull him securely into my lap. It's easy to lift him and ease him down. I nearly cum… and I'm not even fully inside him yet. "Can you lower yourself down Severus." He nods. I can hear him breathing trying to stay calm. "Just go at your own pace. No need to move too fast." It feels like forever before I'm finally seated in him. He's quietly whimpering. He refuses to leave where he's hiding. "Can I move love?"

"Yes. Just. Slowly. Please."

"Of course Severus." The first small shift and I'm seeing stars. He's so tight around me. No doubt that he's a virgin. Was a virgin. "How's this Severus."

"A little… deeper." Every word is a whisper. I can feel his grip on my shoulders tightening with every thrust. "Like that."

"All you have to do is tell me what you want Severus."

"Just keep talking. I'm okay as long as you keep talking."

"But what can I say. You don't like dirty talk." I'm using all of my self-control no to fill his belly with cum right now. "Do you like to be talked to sweetly. Do you want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear?" He tenses slightly. "Would you like that Severus."

"I'm sorry." His voice sounds defeated. I pet his hair.

"Don't be. It's perfectly natural to want to hear words of affection. It's not embarrassing to want to hear them. And it's not embarrassing to say. What do you want me to tell you love? Do you want to hear how much I love you? Or how beautiful I think you are? Do you want me to tell you how often I dreamt of this? Of holding you against me."

"Sirius." I'm moving faster now and the way his shoulders are trembling is only turning me on more.

"I should have told you everything before. There were so many times I wanted to tell you that you were beautiful, and I didn't. I didn't think you would want to hear me say that. I was afraid that you would be upset. But I wanted to tell you so many times."

"Lying."

"No. No I'm not." His body is melting into mine.

"Yes. Lying. No one ever."

"I think you are. I don't care what anyone else says. You're fucking beautiful." He's whimpering. "Am I hurting you. You have to tell me."

"Doesn't hurt. Feels good."

"Severus. I don't think I'll be about to last very much longer."

"I can't… much either."

"You have to tell me now. Inside or outside. You have to tell me. I can't last." He's breathing so fast. His voice is quiet and muffled by my shoulder.

"Inside. Please." I lose it. That small request. I pull him from my shoulder needing to look at him. I need to see him. He fights me at first before loosening his grip. I lay him on his back with his legs around me. He's crying and gasping as I take him faster. I listen for anything. Any hesitation. Any fear. Nothing. "There. Feels good." He's forcing himself to look me in the eyes. His eyes widen and I watch him scream his release. I bottom out. I can feel all of the tension leave my body as I feel him with streams of my cum. We both look at each other. When I pull out I chuckle at my cum spilling out of him. Though he looks embarrassed he doesn't say anything.

"How… uh. Was your first time." He nods. "That wasn't an answer."

"It was better than I thought it would be."

"Good." I kiss him on the lips and summon a towel to clean us up. He looks unsure. "What is it Severus." His cheeks are red. "Just say it."

"Will you stay…" He lets me wipe the already drying cum off of him. "I don't want to wake up and you not be next to me."

"Severus. I'll stay beside you as long as you'll let me." He laughs lightly.

"Then you'll be beside me for a long time."