CHAPTER ONE – Princess in Shock

Wednesday June 6, 1:14 pm

My room, London

The only thing my father gave me before he died was this stupid diary. So I guess I'll write in it, see what happens. Mum says some lady from Hogwarts is flying in, going over his will and "legacy", whatever the bloody hell that means. Apparently he was some politician back in Hogwarts—which is a small monarchy near Scotland, by the way. Very few people know it exists. I wouldn't know it existed if I hadn't had a father who lived there.

What do people do in diaries? Record their innermost thoughts and dreams? Who they are inside? I have no idea. My name is Lily Evans, I'm seventeen years old, and I'm angry at the world.

Well, I am right now. Marlene says I'm only angry at the world when I'm angry with myself, but she might just be a little more self-actualized than I am.

Sev was over earlier. He said he'd heard about my dad—how?—and wanted to offer his condolences.

"Thanks," I said, not moving from my bed. I still haven't gotten out of bed, as a matter of fact.

He stood awkwardly in my doorway for a few minutes, then sat down on the edge of my comforter, displacing Herbert, my cat. Herbert came and sat by my head instead. He's chewing my hair right now. "You didn't know him very well, though, did you?" he'd asked.

"No," I said. "But it doesn't matter, does it? He's still my dad. Was. He was my dad."

Sev shrugged. "And you don't know what he did for a living?"

"No," I said again. I didn't feel much like talking. "He didn't fly out much, and when he did, we didn't talk about his work."

"I'm sorry." Sev reached into his pocket and pulled out a deck of cards. "Wanna play? It makes you feel better, sometimes."

"No," I said again. "Thanks, Sev, but I'm really not feeling much up to anything."

He took a hint and left then. I feel a little bad, but not too bad. Oh, that lady from Hogwarts will be arriving shortly, according to my mum. She says I need to get out of bed and put on pants. Just for that, I'm putting on a dress.

Wednesday June 6, 2:23 pm

Ladies' room of the Hogwarts Embassy, London

Holy bloody shit. I don't know how to recount this, so let's just sum it up in a bloody sentence, shall we? Dad LIED to me. Okay, okay, that wasn't much of a summation. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this...

We met the Hogwarts lady at the Hogwarts embassy, and I was dressed very nice, if I do say so myself. Gold ballet flats and a cute yellow dress, perfect for summer. Mum left immediately, she said something about 'errands'. Yeah bloody right.

"You'll be fine, honey," she promised. "I need to go pick up Tuney from the mall, Yvonne had to go home—you're of age in Hogwarts, you can deal with all the legal matters. She should be here at two."

"Mum!"

She kissed me on the forehead and left, so I made myself comfortable on the couch and waited. Let me tell you, punctuality must be enforced by the death penalty in Hogwarts, because the second the grandfather clock in the corner hit the twelve, the doors opened and a tall, thin woman in an emerald green dress swept into the room. She was effortlessly elegant, her gray hair pulled tightly into a bun.

"You must be Lillian," she said, appraising me. I'd stood hastily upon her entrance, and had lost a shoe in the process.

"Yes...ma'am." I'd never called anyone ma'am in my life. I don't know why I'd decided to start now.

"Hm." She swept one last critical eye over me before sitting down on the couch opposite mine. "My name is Minerva McGonagall, I was your father's deputy chief advisor." She watched me as I tugged my ballet flat back on and sit down quickly. "I trust he did not tell you his profession?"

GOD I'm still so angry as I write this. I cannot believe no one TOLD ME.

"No," I said, just as I'd said to Sev earlier today. "I rarely saw him, and we didn't discuss work...or politics."

"Hm." She didn't say anything again, just looked at me. I felt it would be wiser to just keep my mouth shut, and after about thirty seconds, she seemed to agree with me, as she sat back satisfactorily. "Yes, I think you could do splendidly."

I raised an eyebrow. "Do?"

"Your father was the king of Hogwarts," she said without pretense. "You have been the princess your entire life, and now, if you accept, you will become the queen."

I choked on my own spit in shock. Queenly, I know. "Excuse me?" I demanded. "King? You—" My head swiveled back and forth. "Are there cameras in here? Are you pranking me?"

"I assure you, Lillian, I am not. You are the princess of Hogwarts, and if you do not choose to ascend, the crown will go to the next in line." Her lips thinned to a line distastefully. Apparently, whoever's next in line is not the favorable option, if they think I could do better.

"Okay, but...I'm only seventeen. I'm still in high school. I start Year Thirteen this fall, I need to start filling out applications, not signing laws into effect!"

McGonagall seemed pleased. "Ah, so you do have some idea of how this works. Good. You'll be majoring in political sciences in university, of course?"

I was still reeling from the 'princess' thing, but managed to splutter out a "No! No, I'm majoring in English Lit. I want to be a teacher, Ms McGonagall. Not a queen."

"You won't be a queen until you're twenty-one," McGonagall said, as if I hadn't voiced my protestations. "If you accept, being of-age in Hogwarts, you would simply become the crown princess, and attend the rest of your schooling in Hogwarts. I assure you, our education is top of the line."

"I'm not going to Hogwarts for school! I have friends here—"

McGonagall waved a hand, brushing aside my assertions like so much lint. "They can visit you at the palace. Or the summer castle, whichever you prefer."

I pressed a hand to my temple, feeling faint. "There's a summer castle?"

McGonagall nodded. "You'll be brought up to speed on the blueprints, including holding rooms in case of an assassination attempt. I assume you already know about how much danger this position will bring you?"

"No!" I said, my hands dropping to grip the hem of my dress. "Assassination attempt? Is that...you know, likely? Should I be worried?"

She blinked, like I was being absurd. "Of course, constant vigilance is always encouraged. Your head of security certainly thinks it's a necessity. But no, assassination is unlikely something you'll have to worry about, especially if you present yourself as Britain's Sweetheart Royalty."

"The UK already has royalty," I said coldly. "And I'm no sweetheart."

She waved aside my concerns again with a flick of her well-manicured hand. "I said how you'd present. The press must be kept appeased, after all..."

"Press? Like paparazzi?" I couldn't think. Questions flowed out of my mouth, as if maybe getting answers would somehow piece together my shattered mind.

"Of course."

"And...and they know? How could they know?"

"They don't know yet, Lillian. I plan on holding a lovely ball to announce you to the public. Perhaps here in London, as you're so attached to the city...perhaps once you return from a trip to Hogwarts and learn the proper decorum of a crown princess." I noticed her staring at my handles, my knuckles white from squeezing the hem of my dress.

Suddenly it all became too much. The world around me started to spin, colors blending together. I stood abruptly, blinking rapidly to dispel the fuzziness. "I need to use the restroom."

"Of course," McGonagall said sagaciously. "I'll have Pomona prepare us tea in the garden."

And so I'm here. I don't know what to do. Every little girl dreams of being a princess—myself included, obviously—but I just don't know. I have friends here, mum here, Tuney—

Oh, god, Tuney. Does she know? Is she a princess too? Wait. Wait. Wait.

If I'm a princess, and the CROWN princess, then presumably Tuney isn't. Which means that Tuney and I have different fathers. But if the father who's been calling and sending Christmas cards hasn't been Tuney's dad, then who the HELL is?

Wednesday June 6, 3:47 pm

Hogwarts Embassy, London

I called mum before I went back out to join McGonagall for tea, and...poor Petunia. How could mum DO something like that to her? To us, I mean. Ugh, I guess I'd better write this out...

So mum was never married to my dad. She was married to Tuney's father, who died right after she was born. Mum decided it would be brilliant to just pretend to the two of us that my father, who visited occasionally, was Tuney's father too, since she was only two years old when I was born. Basically, it took some serious scheming on mum's part and some irritating complacency on dad's.

I can't even put my anger into words. Lets just say when I go to Hogwarts, I think some time apart from my lying, scheming mum would be WELL-NEEDED!

No, I don't mean that. Do I?

Whatever, I can't think about it all right now!

When I finally got off the phone with mum, properly seething, I met McGonagall out in the garden for tea. She instructed a servant to pour, and then scoffed when I requested both milk and sugar. I took both anyways, because I have a rebellious streak some ill-timed scoffing cannot quell, and drank it all, even though it did end up far too sweet for my taste.

"I can see how all of this may be overwhelming, Lillian," McGonagall said. I even detected a trace of sympathy in her words! The woman has a heart! "But I assure you, you are handling this all admirably. Better than I'd expected. When I learned you lived in Cokeworth—well, that doesn't matter now. I expect you will be accompanying me back to Hogwarts this Monday?"

"Monday?" I nearly choked on tea. "That's five days from now! I can't simply uproot my entire life in less than a week!"

McGonagall frowned. "I wouldn't expect you to. You'll be back for school by the end of the summer, unless you decide to stay and continue your education in Hogwarts."

I'll admit, it sounds a little tempting. But instead, I mustered all the diplomacy I could in my response: "Thank you very much for taking the time to explain all of this to me, Ms McGonagall. But I'm afraid I'll have to think over such a...large decision. Shall I call you at this number tomorrow with my answer?"

She seemed impressed. "Very well. In the meantime, please, do not tell anyone about this. The press would have a field day, and I can imagine you'd like to keep a low profile for the remainder of your stay in London?"

I pursed my lips, trying not to show how annoyed I was. "Of course."

"Well then," she said, clearly pleased. "I'm seeing you again tomorrow for lessons. On Monday, you'll meet me in the parlor with your valise, we'll be taking the Hogwarts Jet."

"Lessons?" I raise an eyebrow. "Like...how to be a princess?"

She sniffed. "That will come. Political science courses will come. For now, you have a lot of learning to do about Hogwarts. Our future queen cannot subside on trivial knowledge, can she?"

"I...guess not," I said faintly.

And now I'm on the front porch, debating whether or not to call mum to pick me up. On the one hand, I won't need to spend money on a taxi, since I don't feel like taking the Tube right now. On the other, I'd really like to avoid her. I think I'll go to Marlene's. McGonagall said not to tell anyone, and I won't, but...I really need to be around someone who DOESN'T LIE TO ME right now.

Wednesday, June 6, 4:30 pm

Marlene's room

The first thing Marlene said to me when she opened the door to her flat was "Okay, Lily, I may have lied to you."

The irony nearly made me faint, except I've never fainted, save that one time I was severely dehydrated and had low blood sugar, but even then, I stayed (barely) conscious. So I laughed nervously, invited myself in, and sat on her couch, where old Doctor Who reruns were on.

"About what? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I added. If she came clean now, then I would have to come clean, because I don't like having a power imbalance among my friends. Of course, being a crown princess makes an automatic power imbalance, but that didn't count. At least, I think it doesn't.

Marlene coughed nervously. "It's about Severus. I know I told you I wouldn't bring him up, ever, but I kind of need to."

I relaxed, because it wasn't anything serious, but I also tensed up, because I hate arguing about Sev with Marlene. "What about him?" I asked, my eyes narrowing. I'd never really understood that whole 'eyes narrowing' thing, but my eyes totally did it. I suppose it's not very princess-y of me. God, I'm going to have to work on my manners now. I haven't thought about my manners since I was about six years old!

Whatever. Back to Marlene.

"He just posted another one of those articles about how Prince James is an elitist snob who cares about no one but himself—"

Here I rolled my eyes. Marlene's obsession with Gryffindor's Prince James was legendary—not in the 'I want to have his babies!' sense, but the 'his political stances and economical decisions make me so intellectually stimulated' sense. I don't really understand her."

"Don't roll your eyes!" She said, reaching for the remote to turn down the volume on...who was it? I think it was Peter Davidson, as the fifth Doctor. I don't really care. "He posted that article, but...it was from a neo-Nazi site."

Here I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said! Severus Snape is on neo-Nazi sites."

"I'm sure he didn't realize it," I said, but my mouth felt sour around the words.

Marlene's eyes narrowed right back at me. "Lillian Iris Evans. I think you need to talk to Snape. As soon as possible." Her eyes strayed to her phone. "I'm a little scared, Lil. Snape is around you all the time, I see him quite often..."

I feel guilty I didn't immediately think of this. Marlene is Jewish. If seeing neo-Nazi things make me uncomfortable, I can't think of what it does to her. "Of course, Marl. I'm sorry, I didn't think—I didn't mean to defend him. Them. I'll talk to him. In the meantime, uh...block him?"

"Blocking Nazis won't make them go away," Marlene said miserably. "I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to get all...serious." She cleared her throat. "Want to put on old Anne Hathaway movies?"

I smiled, but it was forced. "Make it The Devil Wears Prada and you have a deal. I'll be right back."

So I'm here. Still not sure I'm doing this diary thing correct. I think I'll call Sev once I leave Marlene's—actually, you know what? Screw going home. I'm sleeping over here. It's summer; mum knows I'm mad at her. I'm texting mum and telling her I'm staying. Then I'll tell Marlene I just invited myself to stay the night.

Wednesday June 6, 8:58 pm

Marlene's living room

MARLENE AND LILY'S LIST OF HOT BOYS (in no particular order)

1. Chris Pine

Okay, I can get behind this. I liked him in Star Trek, he really captured Kirk's essence.

Don't be such a nerd, Marlene.

2. Tom Welling

Who?

That guy from Smallville.

And you say I'M a nerd. Oh well, no arguments here.

3. Prince James Potter

Ugh, why? He always looks so stuck-up...

His foreign affairs policies are dreamy.

Oh my god Marlene you need a shag so badly.

4. Emma Watson

Lily this is a list of hot boys.

Yeah, but I felt the list needed diversity. Besides, she's hot.

...agreed.

5. Oscar Isaac

YES THANK YOU. Sexy x-wing fighter pilots make me so happy!

Marlene I'm getting bored.

Me too.

Luckily for me, Marlene was cool with me staying over. My mother, not so much.

"Lily Evans, we need to talk. Come home right now or I'm sending Petunia over."

"No you're not," I heard Petunia say petulantly from somewhere near my mum's shoulder. "I'm angry at both of you. I'm not doing anyone's fetching."

Mum made a noise of frustration somewhere between a goat bleating and Satan's roar. "Just because you've discovered you're heir to the throne of a small country does not mean you can shirk this family—"

"What family?" I hissed, keeping my voice quiet so Marlene wouldn't overhear. "You lied to me. So watch me shirk."

I'm being very immature right now, but frankly, I deserve to be immature once in a while. I'm all snuggled into the squashy purple sleeping bags Marlene keeps in her hall closet, and we've got old chick flicks playing on Netflix, a bowl of M&Ms between us. This is EXACTLY what I need right now.

Now Marlene's yelling and saying I need to stop writing and paying attention so I'm gonna do that before she steals this bye.

A/N

HELLO EVERYONE! No, I haven't abandoned Road to 100, a new chapter should be up soon, but I'm now working on a very new MULTI-CHAPTER FIC! You'll notice that the chapters are longer—I can't promise it'll be like that for ALL of them, but each chapter will be a day, and I'm mimicking the Princess Diaries book style. Disclaimer: i do not, of course, own either harry potter or the princess diaries. And don't you all worry—prince james will be in the picture soon enough!

let me know what you think! I'm so excited to show this to you all, I've been working SO hard on this (and tr100!) between college apps and work.

Have a lovely day!
Alys