Unedited & Originally Posted: 08/11/16

Cat's Cradle

Chapter One

One Life Wasted

The only thing—person—she needed to look out for was herself. That was it.

Mostly because they made that first priority the very second they decided to shove a gigantic mass of chakra into a two year old baby. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck this entire village—they only ever care about power, after all. The military strength, the economy, the kekkei genkai. Everything else was unimportant and mere nuisances at best. Like the fact that a two year old girl got tossed from shinobi family to shinobi family, carefully trained and watched—always watched—right up until she graduated with top marks at the age of eight. Losing any and all traces of family as soon as they were formed.

It was their way of preparing her, she supposed.

Simply a nuisance.

Just like how that eight year old soon grew into a woman, into someone 'valued' by her village and her coworkers for the 'fine' work she did. A murderer, a serial killer, all because she did her work right—they might have killed her if not, if she instead turned out to be a dud. But that was neither here nor there.

Because, it was simply a nuisance.

She supposed that if she hadn't known—if those memories had not been there—she would have very well fallen prey to the idea of loyalty that all of her acquaintances found themselves ailed with. As if it were the most important thing in the world; loyalty. The most deadly, perhaps, but not the most important, that much was clear to her.

Only Yugito seemed to be privy to the secret, that pride and trust in the village was sorely misplaced. After all, who the hell decides to trust a place that stored a demon inside of a two year old? Who fucking got away with that bullshit? Clearly every single village and especially hers.

So yes, she had been bred for this, had known her entire life that her parents had been nameless unknowns who had most likely been paid handsomely for their genetics. It was such a plus, wasn't it, to be beautiful and broken from the very start. It never helped matters that they took the very fact and ran with the idea, forcing Yugito to become...

Yugito had become a monster, this much was certain by the time she had turned twenty-two years old.

But that fact was not something that had been set into a stone carving.

After all, she was going to leave and she was going to change.

Then no one could ever make her kill again.

One Life Wasted

Her plan unraveled with each step she took that morning, smiling at everyone she saw and giving pleasant exchanges with the children in the park. Feeding a bit of the stray dogs and cats—they were more alike to her than anyone would think—and ducking into the hospital to visit her injured teammates and leaving flowers and notes if she could. Every day things that Yugito had taken to doing any time she had a spare moment. Things she had to do so that they didn't hate her.

Every day that she spent inside the village, all that energy she had thrown towards being accepted but it had all been so stupid of her. Monsters don't get accepted; they become tolerated.

She just hadn't wanted to face reality.

Now she stood in the apartment she had used to love but would never come visit again.

"Are you okay?" Shī asked, reaching his hand out to touch her arm, right before he pulled away at the last second. Still, his expression never changed and his worried gaze continued to glance over Yugito's face like he was her brother, like how she had used to dream of when she was younger. Having a brother like him would have been nice after all, and it wasn't as if they didn't already look like twins. But that resemblance had more to do with chance and less to do with what was fact.

He could never be her brother, no more than she could ever have a family.

"Yes, I'm fine," Yugito said softly, unable to turn her voice into a harsh bite. She looked away from him then, far too aware of her weaknesses around him. He couldn't know. Working so closely with Kirābī and Ay, there was not a doubt in her mind that her leaving would simply be reported by him. After all, he'd grown into a fine little worker bee, endlessly and tirelessly working. Too much to notice that this had been something she'd been planning for an entire year, and too much to notice how very little they saw each other the more time had passed.

Soon they would only be strangers.

I can live with that, she thought.

But do you want to? Matatabi asked and she could say nothing.

She didn't exactly know how she wanted to live after all. Being a kunoichi had stolen that from her. You don't live as a shinobi but you sure as hell die as one. And she didn't want that. When everything was all said and done, Yugito Nii wanted to live and she couldn't live in the village that would be too late to save her.

The Akatsuki was coming for her soon.

I want a chance, she told the mass of chakra inside her.

The Two-Tails laughed.

There were never any for you to start off with, child. But you can still free me, you can let me destroy our enemies.

These people are not our enemies, Matatabi-san, Yugito told the beast, and I will no longer bring more death. There is already enough of it without me.

So hopeful you are, so sweet, but this will only fail the people you love, Matatabi seemed to purr out, gloating, They need you to kill, it was why you were born in the first place. Why you have been used for so long. There is no use in fighting it, they will eventually find you. They always did find me.

"I'm human," Yugito whispered before she could catch herself. Then she looked into Shī's worried eyes and felt everything in her continue to crack further.

You are a sacrifice.

There is nothing more I can give.

Inside, even as she forced herself to smile at the man she had once envisioned loving forever, Yugito spoke again to him, for the last time, "I'm human, sometimes I have an off day, y'know? I'll be better for the mission tomorrow."

"If you say so, Yugito-san," he said, still the perfect image of distance even after so long of knowing each other.

Everyone one is always so separate. Why is that? Why couldn't she ever close the gap with anyone? So alone, always so alone and there was no end to it. She just wanted it to end, for someone to speak to her and try to understand.

When they find you, they will hurt you. They will remove me and they will kill you. Defecting will not be forgiven and I do not care for a new container, the cat muttered, but there's nothing the tailed beast can do that will change her mind.

"I need to go water the plants at home," Yugito excused herself with a smile, turning towards the door before tossing over a quick, "Don't be late tomorrow, Shī-san!"

"Never am," he called back.

It isn't like you to lie, human.

I need to keep us safe, is all Yugito lets herself respond with.

Then she left.

One Life Wasted

She couldn't leave. She didn't leave. She was a coward of the worst sort.

But no matter what the village had done to her, sealing terrors within her and forcing her to—don't think, don't think—change herself, Yugito loved them, the people she had depended on for missions, to have her back and to respect her. They didn't respect a jinchūriki but they respected her and she had worked so hard for that.

"I can't throw that away," she realized numbly as she sat in the solitude of her lonely apartment, "I'm going to die because I'm too afraid, Matatabi-san, and you'll be forced from me and I won't be able to protect you from them. The Ten-Tails will be formed..."

Tell your humans, Matatabi suggested, voice not unkind, they will soon find the threat of the Akatsuki for themselves.

"They won't believe me," she murmured with a beaten sigh, her shoulders slumping forward as she pawed at the stray string on her purple kimono, "they wouldn't believe in such a thing. I'll be shunned for speaking about my past."

She knew that even the Two-Tails hadn't believed in her in most cases, not until the cat saw her memories, not until Yugito had opened herself up so much. She had only done it the once, telling the entire truth and the cat demon had helped her with the nightmares, keeping them at bay for her like a dream eater. But she had never dared to do it again and there was no one that Yugito trusted more than the demon within her.

Matatabi once hated her, just like all the others, but that's okay because Yugito hated the mass of chakra at one point in time too.

They were both similar in many painful ways.

Most painful was the biting seclusion and though they had each other, it was not the same as having someone physically within reach. She could only imagine what it must be like for the bijū, how lonely things must be to forever be lodged within a seal and with no real way to affect the real world. She was luckier than Matatabi and the cat perhaps hated her most for that though the beast had never said anything to her about it.

"I just want to find a home," Yugito finally said aloud, her voice hoarse as she spoke words she'd never dared to say out loud before, "at least before I die I want...someone to accept me completely as I am."

I believe that is something we all wish for, Yugito-san, Matatabi whispered in her mind softly, and you still have a chance for it. All stray cats have only that, kitten.

"But haven't I just wasted mine?" Yugito asked bleakly, "Everyone is still so far away here..."

In your memories, the ones I have watched, they came for you, the cat murmured, they were just too late to help you.

Too late. Yes, always too late when it counted.

"I will be killed by two people who cannot die, the immortal duo," her voice was dark and without humor, "and they will have learned from my death so that Kirābī is safe. Why is that? Why is that always the case with them? Why did they name me second? It doesn't matter if they come after me, it is not in them to love me."

She was so confused about it and the fear was worst of all.

They'd done this to her; they'd stolen her will the moment she was two years old and could not fight back. An innocent in the grand scheme of things being made as the human sacrifice to tame the beast and harness the power of it. But she was no martyr and never would be seen as one for everything she had given up in her life.

She'd let her pride, her identity be beaten and slashed until it nearly broke to pieces that could not be reformed. Then she'd picked it all back up again, attempting to fix the pain that would never cease. She was not a pot remade to be beautiful with golden lacquer, not more beautiful for having been broken. No, instead she was the weight of a soul that had claws dug so deeply within that she could not escape.

She wanted to run, so desperately wanted to take the leap that would put her out of Kumogakure's sight but...

They had done their job well. She had no loyalty to speak of but the fear was too strong to deny. They would consume her, tear her to shreds to regain the bijū and she could not live without the cat's support any longer. Her soul was a dim one, layer by layer peeled away by fear and making her life all the more precarious. But with each piece of her lost, each time she could not fix herself as good as the last, she was made to be stripped of everything that made her human.

They had made her into what she had feared most as a child who could not understand the nightmare she could not wake up from.

A monster.

They always one like this, didn't they? They'd conditioned her too well. A slave to orders until her last breath. Like always.

She, tomorrow, would kill again, with every vow of hers shattering only to resonate with the lies that passed her cherry red lips.

Yugito wondered, if she died, if she would turn into a true monster, a bakeneko just like the one she could not escape from.

One Life Wasted

She was laughing at a joke her teammate, Majime, was saying to her about the hairball flames she produced. It wasn't funny.

For reasons unknown to her, probably via some sort of connection with Matatabi, Yugito was a whole lot like a cat. She loved tekkadon and milk, hated spicy foods with a finicky tongue, and slept usually in high places if she could help it. Yugito was aware of this, perfectly in the know that she was a little strange. She, however, didn't like people to bring it up so nonchalantly.

"Haha, you really are like a cat! You even cough up hairballs!"

She could light him on fire with one of her mouses for such disrespect.

Still, Yugito hated confrontation more than she hated anything else and so she merely laughed as if she found it even subtly funny. Shī looked at her with knowing eyes, however, and gave a nudge to Majime.

Named aptly and as earnest to please as he was, the jōnin promptly got the message and shut the hell up. Though he was still smiling at her, dark eyes trying to read her expressions. A kenjutsu specialist and with a nice taijutsu style, he was just the sort of teammate that Yugito was terrible at performing with. The overlap of their skills made their work a little bit strange. With her claws she could easily fight as well, if not better, than Majime. It always confused her when she went on a mission with him, and the Raikage often placed them on the same squad.

It confused her.

But more than that, Yugito tried more to focus on the fact that she was on a B-rank that she could have gone in alone on. A decent strategist and with how hard she had worked to be deadly in a battle, Yugito had done a whole lot more solos than most people her age. She was elite, a name feared in the Bingo Books as countless souls were lost when they came into contact with her. She wanted to retire already but that was unheard of for jinchūriki. She was twenty-two, so young and with so much more potential for the wreckage of the world.

They were in the Land of Fire.

It always made her skin itch to be so close to what would one day be the main stage of so much devastation. Too far away to make a difference and yet close enough to feel the waves. She had been fifteen when she'd heard news of the Yondaime Hokage's death. She'd felt the terror of realizing those dreams had much more merit than otherwise. She could do nothing to stop it, nothing to help the boy who would group up as lonely as she had.

She hated to be so close to Konohagakure, the temptation to slip into the village and speak with him being all the more strong. Yugito had no clue what she'd actually say to him if she even could—.

Yugito Nii was suddenly being jerked out of her thoughts, her body stopping in motion as she skidded to a stop. Her nails grew to keep her from losing her balance. She registered none of that. Instead, inwardly, she had the oddest sensation of falling...

And then she blinked.

"What is this?" she asked as everything echoed, her feet stepping over still water. Everything had changed when she hadn't been looking. No longer was she surrounded by the unnaturally large Konoha trees, instead she was in a spacious plane of existence. The sky was less of that and more of a reflection of everything else, blue as the water beneath her feet. It was disorienting and she forced herself to look away.

"You have spoken with Kirābī-san and the Eight-Tails here, once before," Matatabi announced and Yugito looked into a vibrant emerald green eye before swiveling to see the moonlight yellow one blink. The Two-Tails was huge, and Yugito had never been more stunned. Beautiful blue flames flitted around the cat, licking the air hungrily. Matatabi looked tense enough to pounce.

"The link then?" Yugito asked, despite everything, in awe of what she was seeing before her eyes, "You've taken me into the link?"

"You wanted to speak with the Kyūbi's container, did you not?" Matatabi's forked tail swiveled in the air and without further ado, the cat settled itself down as if for a long wait. "My sibling can be difficult to deal with but I have spoken of you to the others, as well as I have been able to at least. They're seals restrict them quite a bit and well, the Uzumaki certainly knew what they were doing when they imprisoned Kurama-san. We may have to be patient for the arriv—"

The cat was cut off by a shout, a boisterous one that could have only been from a child.

Yugito whirled around just in time to see a small blond haired boy clambering off a very, very large fox. He looked confused but with excitement and intrigue to keep him from freaking out. He slipped to the water and for a second she worried that he would fall through and drown. Instead, he stuck the landing and stood triumphantly.

"I can walk on water, 'ttebayo!" Naruto cheered as he bumped his fist in the air, "Coolest dream ever, 'ttebayo!"

"Naruto!" Yugito yelled without thinking, then she stumbled back as soon as his eyes landed on her. It was almost eerie to see his face in person. Similar enough to the boy in her dreams but with a lot more detail, it kept her standing still in shock. The markings on his face, the carefree grin and those flashing blue eyes. He looked just as ready to take on the world as he had been in the manga books and anime.

She felt ill all over again.

"Ah? Who are you, 'ttebayo?" Naruto asked and she flinched. "You're dressed like...like a Kumo-nin! Wah, oh no, I'll beat you up!"

Suddenly, before she could catch the breath that had escaped her in her time of need, the boy was abruptly launching himself at her with a fierce battle cry. Yugito didn't move and when he came up to punch her in the gut, she couldn't help herself. She slipped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

"What the hell, lady?" Naruto squirmed in her grasp and she pulled away long enough to see his face turning red. With a breathy laugh, she only clung on tighter. Like a child that had lost everything, grasping at the threads that lingered. She didn't want him to be snatched away.

"My name is Yugito Nii," she said softly, shifting to meet his wide eyed gaze, "and I'm like you. Kind of. I am from Kumogakure but we don't have to be enemies. I think, I think you understand that though, better than many others. Or," she gazed at his bewildered expression, "you will learn."

"What do you mean by that, 'ttebayo!?" Naruto demanded to know, to be heard. Her hands slipped from his shoulders as she gave him a sly smile.

"They've been keeping secrets from you, the reasons why the people seem to hate you," Yugito went on, though she wasn't sure if she should. She blinked at him, "You're a seven year old kitten, aren't you?"

Naruto gasped, moving backwards in shock, "How'd ya know?"

"Never mind that, Naruto-kun," Yugito grinned, "we don't have much time together. I'm currently on a mission so I need to get back. Though, before I go..." she trailed off, her gaze unable to keep from softening as she gazed at the chubby marked cheeks. She kissed them quickly, leaving him even more confused and red in the face. Unable to hold it back, she laughed.

He stared at her accusingly but she only met his eyes as seriously as she could to make her words sink in, making herself eye level with him before she continued, "Before I go, you must know that you are not a monster and no one can change that."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, sounding desperate to understand, "Tell me, 'ttebayo!"

Yugito hummed to herself instead, standing up to her full height, "We'll meet again. But, just remember, monsters are creatures that have turned their backs on their nature. Never before then. Remember yourself, believe in yourself, and you will achieve what you want most."

Then, with a quick laugh at the irony in her words, she looked at Matatabi and nodded.

Yugito left the link feeling dizzy as she felt herself come back into her body. In her ears she could still hear Naruto yelling for her to come back, to explain herself. But she had a feeling he'd only take what had happened as a dream. She almost wanted to too.

You gave him good advice, perhaps you should follow it? Matatabi asked as soon as Yugito stopped feeling like she was about to fall over, her nails digging into the bark of the large tree branch beneath her.

I can't, she thought in somber reply, I've already turned my back on my nature.

Or, perhaps, you have yet to discover it.

"Yugito-san?" Shī asked, shaking her shoulders as if to rouse her from her sleep. It was the first time he'd touched her since she was a teenager, still hoping for him to like her. He never would. Yugito shifted, meeting his eyes.

"I'm back," she said, blinking, "how long was I gone?"

"A few minutes," Majime said to her left, his eyes concerned as he regarded her, "what happened?"

"I'm sorry for delaying us," Yugito said instead, "We should keep moving. We're in enemy territory."

The words felt like acid on her tongue but she let them pass like all the other lies she'd told before. She was very good at it.

One Life Wasted - End

I kind of don't know what direction I wanna go with this sooooo, yep, let's see what I can do with this...

Also, because she eats a lot of it; tekkadon is a rice dish topped with thin-sliced raw tuna sashimi.

Oh and as for names, Killer B, C, A, and all that cast of character's name will all be written in the romaji forms. For example; Kirabi, Shii, and Ay. Just makes them less like an alphabet and more like they have actual names.