Oops, sorry for the wait- totally didn't plan for it to be this long between chapters. But anyway, congrats guys, we did it! Here's the last chapter. It is shorter than the rest (like probably half the size of they usually are- don't hate me), but in terms of ideas it felt right to "wrap it up" this way and I didn't wanna drag it out too much anyway and be scrambling for ideas. Hope you like it!

The first time Jess buys a pregnancy test it's not even for herself. She has to play it super stealthy, like she literally never does, and get it from the store to the loft to Cece without infractions.

Roadblock Number 1 occurs when Nick catches her on the way out as she's glancing around nervously, clad in enormous bug-esque sunglasses and a floral chiffon scarf wrapped around her head like some cracked out 50s starlet.

"Where ya headed?" He asks.

And, since Jess can't lie to save her life, especially not to him- "Oh, the drugstore."

"Sweet, mind if I come? Need to pick up some essentials."

"Ummmm, uhhhhhh," Jess is panicking now, and Nick is growing more confused.

"Hello? Jess?" He laughs, snapping in front of her face.

Swatting his hand away and scrunching her face in a look of pure pain and eventual regret, she can't help it. She groans. "Sure. Yes, you can come."

"Sweet, I'll drive" Nick nods.

Roadblock Number 2 is when they're actually checking out. Nick insists on paying for her items (she tries to hide her pee stick with a family-size bag of Starburst and pair of Dr. Scholls socks), claiming he's "new money" now (he's not, he just had a better-paying bartending gig in New Orleans than here, not to mention all the boobs he saw. Man, so many boobs).

In a moment of panic, Jess keeps the test behind her back at the last minute, not knowing what else to do. She's then called out for "attempting to shoplift" until she assures them it was a mistake and pays on her own.

The look on Nick's face is a mix of amusement, horror and slight betrayal once she's busted, resulting in an awkward silence all the way back to the car.

"Huh," is all he manages, keeping his eyes straight on the road and pursing his lips.

Jess struggles with the words, opening her mouth with no sound coming out multiple times, before she finally takes a deep breath and releases it, a whole painful 5 minutes later.

"Nickit'snotmineit'sforCece," she blurts, immediately leaning her head on the dashboard in distress.

He slams the brakes, skidding to a stop. "SCHMIDT MADE A BABY?!"

"Please, pleasepleasePLEASE, do not say anything- Cece can't know I told you, I don't even think Schmidt knows. I mean, it's not even confirmed yet" Jess's face wears a look of pure terror.

"God. Schmidt spawn," Nick shakes his head incredulously.

"I mean, it's technically Schmidt and Cece spawn, which means it'll probably be beautif- WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME TALK ABOUT THIS I'M SWORN TO SECRECY," she curses herself for getting distracted. "And now you're sworn to secrecy, too!"

Nick just laughs. "Whatever you say, captain. To be honest I'm just glad it's not yours."

"Why's that?" Jess's curiosity is suddenly piqued.

Well that definitely shuts him up, and from then on he's silent for the rest of the ride, eyes glued to the road once again.

With thankfully no further disruptions, Jess delivers the contraband to Cece and sits with her for the entire painstaking 60 seconds, squeezing her hand a little too tightly.

Though she's peed on a stick before, the first time she tells Schmidt about a plus sign is later that night. He's home from work and chastising Nick about immediately falling back into garbage eating habits since returning, when Cece entices him to the bedroom with a green smoothie.

"Have I ever told you that you're my favorite wife?" He plants a sweet kiss lightly on the tip of her nose.

"I like to think so," she rolls her eyes with a smile.

"Ugh, today, what a shit show," he groans, dropping his messenger bag in the corner. "The new receptionist, Joyce, brought her nasty teen in today and he spent all lunch break just roasting my gingham and pinstripe tie combo."

Cece just stands silently, pretending to listen and wringing her hands.

"I'm sorry, talking about me," he shrugs. "How was your day, babe?"

With that, Cece feels her heart swell about three sizes, as the old Schmidt she used to know may never have stopped talking about himself, especially when he had the chance to verbally humiliate a disrespectful youth. This could work. Yeah, they could do this.

Growing more confident, she speaks. "It was…interesting, to say the least."

"How so?" He punctuates the sentence with a slurp of his liquified kale.

"Um, maybe you wanna sit down for this?" She suddenly feels a bit unsure again.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Schmidt voices his concern, but follows her instructions to sit nonetheless.

"Nothing…it's just…well. Um, you won't believe this, but…" she stammers, then takes a deep breath. "Schmidt, you're- you're going to be a dad."

"I'm what?" His eyes grow wide.

As a reinforcement, Cece reaches toward the table on her side of the bed, taking the used test from her drawer.

Tears spring to Schmidt's eyes as he stares at the pink plus sign in front of him up until the moment that he tosses it aside and grabs Cece tightly, lifting her off the ground.

"So you don't think I bought it off the black market?" She smiles through her tears as he peppers kisses all over her face, remembering the conversation when Winston and Aly made their reveal.

"Screw the black market!" He exclaims, then runs out of their room and all the way up to the roof to yell "Attention Los Angeles- I'm going to be a dad!"

The first time Winston feels like a real live adult isn't when he gets his job with the LAPD, or when he finds out he impregnated his beautiful girlfriend, but- in true Winston fashion- when he gets the news that he's officially moving out of the loft.

He's sitting at his desk waiting for his day's assignment when he gets the call from Aly. Their offer was accepted and now they're officially new homeowners. It's especially officially official because they even got the seal of approval from Rhonda during a Skype session and subsequent follow-up tour of the house.

He calls the rest of the gang with the news and shoots a text to Reagan consisting of a house, grabby-hands smiley face and trophy emojis.

'You got a trophy from someone's house? Is this about evidence from that homicide case that reminded you of Clue you were telling me about?' is what he gets back.

The first time Jess grows a pair (okay, maybe not first in her lifetime) is the following Friday when she gets her routine Friday text from Steven asking about meeting up later. The crew is at the bar to celebrate Winston and Aly's official new house plus Cece and Schmidt's growing family (why they chose a bar when neither Aly nor Cece can drink, nobody is too sure, but it just felt kind of right), but there's always the option of the boozy booty call on the table.

So she does what any sane woman would do- asks her ex-boyfriend. Who she still has feelings for. Who she's considered everyone she dated or slept with after a rebound. Who fell asleep in her lap last week.

"Give me one good reason not to meet up with this dreamy teacher," Jess challenges, leaning back on the bar once Nick has rounded the corner and joins their small group.

"How dreamy?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Like, 90s boy band dreamy," she confirms.

"Which boy band?" He questions, all business.

"Hm, well, not *NSYNC, but definitely a hard 98 Degrees," she muses, deep in thought about the subject.

"Psht, Jess, come on," Nick rolls his eyes, but is dead serious when he continues. "You deserve *NSYNC and nothing less."

"Nick," she's suddenly all bashful and wants to kiss him right there.

But instead of planting a kiss on him in the middle of the bar- the rest of the gang is having a very serious conversation about baby-proofing, it would be a very rude interruption to just, suck face right in the middle of it- she does the next logical thing.

'Hey, can't make it tonight. Sorry. Also I don't think this is gonna work out. But you've got a bright sexy future ahead of ya, I'm sure of it' she swiftly types into her phone before pressing send, feeling satisfied.

Steven's response: ':( '

She rolls her eyes with a dry chuckle.

"What's on your mind, Day?" Nick asks casually, not feeling the bassinet talk happening to his left.

"Wanna get outta here?" She goes out on a limb slightly, shrugging, but she just shut down her only other option, so she figures she might as well attempt, not to mention those pesky butterflies, wherever those came from.

What's the worst that could happen? She looks like a complete and total lovesick idiot? Psht.

Once they're outside the bar, which Nick has no qualms about leaving and passing responsibility off to Big Bob, they stop for a second.

"So, boy band dreamy, huh?" Nick recalls, smirking.

"Yep. And he was my only prospect for tonight and I had to turn him down, soooo…" she trails off with a laugh.

"I wouldn't be so sure that he's your only prospect," Nick shrugs.

Jess plays dumb, glancing around for any additional parties who may be in the vicinity. "Who? Are you trying to set me up with Big Bob? I mean, great guy, clearly responsible, but-"

"Shut up," Nick laughs breathlessly, before breaking off her rambling with a kiss, which she quickly responds to by wrapping her arms around his neck and returning his enthusiasm, freaking finally.

Panting, they break apart, their foreheads still touching, both wearing smiles so huge their faces might break.

"Take me home, Miller."

Laughing, he picks her up, bridal-style and starts carrying her back toward the loft.

"Wait, so, which *NSYNC member does that make me?" He asks with serious curiosity.

Jess laughs. "That is one secret I'll never tell."

Halfway down the block, he gets winded and has to put her down, and they continue walking hand-in-hand.

Aaaand that's all folks. Thanks for sticking with me on this bad boy, and I hope all the all-over-the-place-ness was worth it for you in the end! Can't wait for season 6! Even though it's over I love your feedback! Exclamation points!