"I knew that I was dying.
something in me said, go ahead,
die, sleep, become as them, accept.
then something else in me said, no,
save the tiniest bit. it needn't be much,
just a spark. a spark can set a whole
forest on fire. just a spark. save it."

— CB.

Tatsu decides to visit them.

She doesn't know why, not at first. Then she does. It's something invisible and heavy that pulls her to the prison to see them. It's unclear at the start, what she's feeling or why she's feeling it, but it's something that she's carried with her since the night in the city. She carries it with her until she can't. Until it grows and turns into something stronger, and eventually it clears and she knows. Tatsu knows she can't fight it anymore.

Her resolve to stay away from them slowly crumbles, she's still part of the team (and yes, she tells herself, that's what they were that night. It's what they are, or what they could be again one day) and she thinks of them often. They're something fractured and unsteady, and the four of them locked away in Belle Reve Penitentiary are criminals—but they call themselves a team, and she's a part of that now because of what they went through together.

That's why she feels what she feels for them. It's unbalanced but it's clear enough. Tatsu doesn't dream often but there are nights when she does, and sometimes in those moments she sees Midway city again. She sees it on that night and she relives it. Chato Santana dies again and again. He dies for his family, a sacrifice he chooses to make, but one that stays with them all regardless of his choice.

Tatsu hears it all again. His words, and the voices that came before it. She relives the false dreams planted into her mind, over and over. It makes her think about what remains of their team. The team that Santana called his family. She's not sure how or why it worked, or how they were a team at all that night, but they were. It just happened, and that's not something that's easy for Tatsu to accept but she does. She accepts it once she realizes that she won't win this fight against her feelings. She thinks about them more than she would like to admit and it's something she knows won't go away just because a part of her wants it to.

She's changed now because of them, because of what they went through. They're all changed in their own ways, it's just that her way is less obvious. It isn't obvious at all, really. Her change is different, smaller than theirs. She knows what it is, what's different now. Her initial feelings towards them have changed slowly. Her willingness to take them down if they turn rogue remains, but it's changed in a way that Tatsu doesn't fully understand. She doesn't recall the moment this all changed, she just knows it now and it isn't something that she particularly likes, to know that something has changed but to not fully understand it is something she's not entirely used to or comfortable with, but for now she accepts it because there is nothing else she can do.

They're still criminals. That's why the four of them are where they are and it's why she's out here, but it's changed now. It's different. Not by too much, not really. It's just quietly different, and that's why she allows herself to visit them today. It's just the one visit here, she tells herself, because she knows it's only a matter of time before Agent Waller needs to send them somewhere else. It's just that it's been weeks now and Tatsu decides that it's time to see them, so she can assess their situations and conditions to know if they will be ready for whatever comes next.

Rick Flag organizes it for her. He doesn't ask too many questions, even if he does seem confused when she asks to see them. The best Flag can do for her is give her time with them, individually and through the slots or bars on their cells. It's all monitored, he tells her, and there's no risk to her anyway since they both know she could take them out if she wanted to. It's just that Waller says no, to the visitation in the cells. It's Waller's call, and it's something that Tatsu doesn't challenge because she knows how this works. Nothing happens to the members of her Task Force X without her say so.

So that also explains why Tatsu learns not everyone benefited from their mission in the city: Harley receives the espresso machine that she was promised, Floyd is given regular communication with his daughter as well as occasional visits when arrangements can be made, and Waylon receives his TV—and then there's the Captain and well, he gets nothing.

It isn't exactly a surprise to Tatsu when she learns from Flag that Boomerang is exactly where he was before this started; pissed off, unstable, and always screaming to be let out of his cell. His last conversation with Waller explains why he gets nothing when everyone else does, but it's not just the situation with Waller that's made life hard for him here.

Flag tells her it in pieces. For the last few weeks, Boomerang has been difficult. Worse than he's ever been before. It's led to him being sedated several times. The guards claim that due to his increased fits of rage they've been required to put him under. Over and over again. There's more to it though, more to why they're sedating him.

He hurts himself during these moments of rage, or so the guards say. Maybe not intentionally, but it forces them to control him, with force and sedation. Flag tells her this quietly, in confidence, knowing that it will stay between them. He also tells her what Waller's orders have been, when it comes to Boomerang: keep him alive, whatever the cost. And this just happens to be the cost for the Captain.

Waller still needs them, Tatsu knows this. It's why they were given what they were promised, and it's also why they're sedating Boomerang instead of hurting him. They're trying to stop him from permanently injuring himself or someone else, because Waller needs him. She needs all of them and she will use them, whatever the cost. It lingers with Tatsu, and again she's unsure of why it stays but it does. It almost distracts her, and once again this isn't a feeling she's accustomed to or comfortable with.

She considers that maybe she's here because of something deeper. Maybe beneath it all she's here to make sure they're not being treated too badly. They're criminals, Tatsu reminds herself, but she feels like she needs to know more about them to know they're okay. She needs more information than Flag's occasional updates give her, and she feels like she needs to see it for herself. So maybe that's why she visits, just to confirm that they're being treated decently, not that she's sure anyone here is treated decently or that they deserve to be.

Or maybe, Tatsu briefly considers, that it's because she can no longer fight that connection that she feels pulling her to them.

That's how she ends up outside of Floyd's cell, watching as he shows off several drawings from his daughter. She won't stay for long, and Tatsu isn't sure that speaking to him through the square slot on the metal door actually counts as a visit, but she guesses that it's something. It's better than not seeing him at all, and not knowing how he is now that the mission's over. That's when Tatsu realizes just how much she might care about their situation, and she tries to push it down by listening to Floyd again. She tries to use this conversation to distract herself from her thoughts but she can't, they are always there and lately there is no escape. Still, she focuses back on him and why she is here to get her mind off other thoughts.

She's here to see him first because he's the most tolerable out of the four of them, and that's mostly because of the love she can see he has for his daughter. It's a pure, warm kind of love that reminds her of the soft and good things she once felt. It feels like another lifetime ago, like she's not even that person anymore. And it's hard to think about that, but it's harder to be here and feel all of those familiar, heavy feelings when she listens to Floyd talk about his daughter.

It stirs the dull, aching pain that lingers in her chest sometimes. It's something hollow, and off-beat, and dark. And it never goes away, not long enough for her to know what it's like to live without it.

She's learned how to silence it, sort of. Tatsu does that now, and instead of thinking about it she listens to Floyd again—he talks about his daughter for a while, and then he talks about her and tries to make reasonably polite attempts at conversation, but there's really not a lot for the two of them to talk about since he's been in here for the last few weeks and she's not allowed to tell him where she's been.

Then Floyd asks about them.

How's everyone else doing? Harley? Croc? That other asshole? he asks, and then she sees it. In those next seconds when everything is silent and they're looking at each other through the slot in the door, Tatsu sees it. She sees that he cares about them like she does. It's unexpected for both of them to care about the other three, but they do. They care, and it's more than just his words that show her this. It's in his eyes, too. It's something that she notices when Floyd asks how they are. It's easy to see. It's so easy that Tatsu knows exactly what he means without another word.

Belle Reve isn't kind to them. That's what she sees flicker across Floyd's face in that deep, brief moment. It hasn't been kind to them in the past, she can see that, and there's more to it than he says. It's different for them now because they're needed and they're useful, but only for now. Before that? They were nothing. Not useful, not needed. They were disposable, and one day they will be again.

Tatsu nearly scolds herself silently for letting herself feel the way she does when she think about them. She feels sad, almost, when she thinks about their mistreatment here. It's probably worse than anything she can imagine, and it was—What? Unnecessary? She stops and thinks about it for half a second and then it starts to pass. They're criminals, they're here for a reason. She's read their files, she knows what they've done and why they're in here. Tatsu knows their reasons, and she knows the lives they could have had if they weren't in here. It feels unbalanced again, conflicting, and she is lost.

She cares about them when she shouldn't. It's mistreatment, but is it? They're criminals, and yet she feels like she's seen more to them than that. Or at least she tells herself she has, because she can remember it. She remembers seeing it vividly; that night they were brave and selfless for a few rare, unguarded moments. It's something that she assumes they've all forgotten now, and it probably means little to them, but she remembers it.

At the start, Tatsu recalls seeing nothing much in any of them that indicated that they had that inside of them. She remembers being so certain that when things were difficult or if the risk was too much they would run. There was nothing that showed her that they would act any differently, until there was. It just switched suddenly in the moment they were needed. Tatsu remembers the way Santana showed it. His bravery, and his selflessness—and because of it they all fought together. They were determined that night, to save lives instead of just taking them. And the more she thinks about it, the more she believes that she will never understand what they showed that night or why they showed it. But it was there, and they were there for her, and it stays with her. She wishes it wouldn't, sometimes. But it does, so she accepts it and moves on.

Tatsu assures Floyd that they're fine, even though she hasn't seen them yet. She assumes that when he asks about 'that other asshole' that he's talking about two people: Boomerang or Flag. It's easy to figure out who he means this time, and she's right. She tells him what she knows, about Harley receiving her espresso machine, and Waylon's new TV, and then she tells him about how all Boomerang has is a cell and a guard to scream at. Floyd seems amused by that last part, then he almost looks happy when he talks about Harley getting her espresso machine.

There's more to it though, more to how he feels about them, and she sees it. One look and she knows what it is. Floyd cares about them, and it's similar to the way she cares about them. And somehow Floyd gets that, too. He knows that she cares and he understands it, that she never meant to care, and that she still doesn't want to, but she does.

Through the mask she's wearing, and the small space between them, he reads her and she reads him, and they both share a silent understanding that she's not sure they will ever acknowledge again. They're in this together. Somehow they've both ended up in this situation where they care about an unstable, irritating group of criminals, but there's almost nothing that can be done about it now.

It's far too late now. They're stuck together now because of Waller, and Flag, and what they went through. And that's just how it is. This is their life now, and they will just have to make the most of it while they're still here.

Her visit with Waylon is brief and she doesn't mind that at all, she actually quite likes it. There's really not that much to talk about, and she didn't come here with the intention of talking too much with any of them anyway. Tatsu's here to see how they are, that's it, and she soon learns the Waylon is well. He's never been too much of a talker and that hasn't changed, but that's fine because Tatsu's never been much of a talker either.

She spends her visit on the outside of his cell, left to talk to him through the metal bars between them. The guard leaves to give them the privacy to talk, but Tatsu isn't really sure it's private when there's a camera recording everything.

Waylon is curious when he arrives, and he even walks over to the bars on the cell to greet her. She's not sure that he's really surprised to see her here, it's more that he seems like he wasn't expecting it. Still, he's polite enough and she senses that he's been well-treated here after his involvement in the Task Force. It's a brief and quiet visit, and she's pleased with that. She spends the time asking him how he is here after what happened in the city, and then she asks about how they're treating him and if he's enjoying his new privileges. It seems like he couldn't be happier with his life here now, and with his new set-up and privilege, with a TV all to himself, and a shelf above his bed filled with alcohol.

The TV is actually quite large, and Waylon seems very happy with it. He talks about it a lot, and then tells her about a game that he watched last night. Tatsu listens like she did with Floyd and it's like she fades in and out, between her conversation with Croc and her own thoughts about them. She slowly comes to realizes two things; the first is that her concerns about them were apparently misplaced, since they all seemed relatively pleased so far with their arrangements after the battle. Floyd seems happy, with his letters and communication with his daughter. And Waylon seems more than happy. He even smiles at her from across the room, as he's telling her about another game, and she doesn't know what he's saying but she knows she's never seen him smile before.

The second thing that she realizes in this quiet moment with him is that maybe they're fine with what they've been given after the mission, so maybe what they're missing is something else. Contact, with others. Someone to talk to. Maybe Waylon isn't missing it so much, but it almost seems like he is from the way he's talking about the game, and her earlier visit with Floyd, where he spent so long talking about his daughter, confirms that he's missing it, too. It isn't something she knows with certainty, it's really just a thought. She barely knows them at all, but Tatsu decides that it's something that she'll think about after she leaves here today.

Whatever game Waylon is following on the TV suddenly comes back on and that's it. She knows their talk is over now and Tatsu is almost glad to leave, only because it gives her the opportunity to take a moment of silence in the corridor outside. It's quiet there and she's left alone and undisturbed, to the thoughts that stir around in her mind, over again. Whatever the cost, she thinks about it, spinning those three words over. Whatever the cost.

Maybe she shouldn't concern herself with them so much, but she can't help the way they stay with her. It's the same way Chato's words from that night stay with her. She remembers his sacrifice, and how he did it for them. His family. She's not sure what they are, but she knows that they are something and she can't ignore that, even if she still wants to.

It's something she can't deny. They are stuck with her. In her head, and under her skin. She knows what they, sort of, and sometimes she doubts it. She tries to tell herself that they are only concerns that she can't rid herself of, and then for a minute she is stuck thinking about how they are a team. Or how they were a team, once, for a moment there. Then she thinks about them as memories. It always comes back to her. Dreams of electricity and fire stay with her, along with false thoughts and memories of them on that night.

This is what they are to her (dreams, memories, a team). But what Tatsu is to them? She doesn't know, not with certainty, but she believes that she is likely only a shadow to them. Here in passing, gone by the evening.

Harley makes them espressos.

Once the confirmation from Flag comes back that it's allowed, Harley excitedly makes them an espresso each and Tatsu is left to get lost in her thoughts. She finds it curious that she's not allowed in their cells with them because of safety concerns—and yet, they fail to see the potential harm in giving an inmate a machine that makes boiling water. She soon decides that it will be a problem for later, and for someone else, and she waits quietly outside of the cage that Harley's in, while on the inside Harley seems genuinely happy to have her here visiting.

Tatsu listens to Harley like she did with Floyd, and at the same time she observes Harley like she did with Waylon. It's odd, she considers, how comfortable Harley really does seem with her here when she's almost certain that they haven't shared a conversation before. She doesn't know why Harley seems so taken with her, but she is. Harley is friendly and excited, while chatting with her about how she'd like Tatsu to keep visiting because of how boring it can get in here with the same old people. She's talking like they're old friends, while all that Tatsu can do is wait and listen as she goes on.

The coffee's ready eventually and Harley brings it over, sits down on the cell right across from where Tatsu's standing, and then she politely offers her the cup. Next, Harley gestures to the spot on the floor for Tatsu to join her and sit with her, and Tatsu's not sure if this is something she would have ever done before that night in the city where Santana died, and they all almost died with him, but apparently it's something she does now. It's something that she does now because of that night.

Tatsu hesitates noticeably, then slowly lowers herself down to sit on the ground with Harley. She takes the cup and listens as Harley tells her all about the espresso machine, and then about the new book she's started to read, and eventually it circles back to the machine and she starts to talk about all the other nice things she might get if they keep doing missions. Harley talks for a while and Tatsu finds it strange that she doesn't mind it at all. She's not sure why she doesn't mind sitting here and listening to her, it's just like how she doesn't know why she says yes when Harley asks her if there's a chance Tatsu could arrange some new books for her to read in here.

Maybe it's because she still feels conflicted about it all. She cares but she doesn't completely understand why, and it bothers her. Tatsu doesn't know what good it will do for her to care about them at all because it leaves her compromised. They're expendable and right now they're useful to Waller, so it's likely they'll all be going on more missions together in the future. So if she cares then it leaves her compromised, and if they don't go on more missions together it leaves her wondering about what will happen to them here.

She cares but she shouldn't, and she doesn't particularly like this place or what it feels like here but she knows she will keep coming back here for them. It isn't uncomfortable here, it's just not entirely comfortable. It's not a physical kind of feeling, it's a different kind of vulnerability and it leaves Tatsu searching again, for answers, for the moment where it all changed and she started to care about them. She searches but finds nothing, and she ends up giving up on her search and returning her focus back to her reality.

Across from where she's sitting, Tatsu sees that Harley's still excitedly talking about something new that she misses the start of but quickly tunes into. It seems to bring Harley some pleasure, or at least little comfort, to sit with someone that listens to her when she talks. Someone that isn't a guard or another inmate, not that she imagines anyone is allowed to sit and talk with Harley much. So Tatsu sits and she listens, and it really isn't the worst day or conversation that she's had.

Maybe it isn't the worst day she's had, but it's definitely not a comfortable one.

Tatsu visits Boomerang at the end of the day. He's the last one she's here to see, and when she arrives the guard outside of the Captain's door tells her that there's nothing to worry about—and that he's 'a little less fucking mad now' because it hasn't been too long since he was last sedated.

Then the guard opens up the slot on the door and walks away, leaving Tatsu to stand alone, just a few feet from his cell. She stays there quietly, waiting. She waits for the sound of his voice, something loud and furious, and when that doesn't happen she half expects to see him run at the door.

He doesn't.

It's quiet except for a nearby voice she thinks she hears. It's a quiet muttering, something low and hushed. Faint, but still there. Tatsu steps closer soon and through the slot in the door she sees him. She finds Boomerang down on the floor of his cell, with his legs stretched out in front of him, and his arms limp by his side. Most of his clothes are gone, and because of this she is free to see him. She is free to see his body, and it looks painful.

His body is marred with scars and bruises, and what looks like a messy combination of dirt and blood. He's been left like this, alone in his cell, half-naked and just in his pale boxers.

Her first instinct is to look away from him and she does, but only for a moment. Something pulls her back to him and she returns her gaze to his body, to roam across his wounds and the blood on his skin. She stays like this for a while, until she realizes that he hasn't noticed her presence here yet. He thinks that he is still alone, and so he is acting like it. He is quiet and still, and his eyes are fixed on something else, away from the door. His eyes are stuck on his knuckles for some reason, and when Tatsu follows his gaze to the spot that he's staring at she realizes what he's looking at. The skin along his knuckles is all torn up and spotted with blood, like he's spent a long time punching at the walls.

It looks painful and raw, and when she looks up to the walls she finds that they are dirty and bloody, just like him. There are little patches of red smeared over the walls, and for a moment she is left wondering if all of that blood is from this fists, punching the walls. And then she wonders if it's even all of his doing.

She recalls Floyd's words suddenly, when he asked how they were, and she wonders how she would answer that question now that she's seen him here like this. Like he's someone else entirely. He doesn't even look like himself and it startles her to see him like this. She can't look away, and Boomerang still doesn't seem to be aware that she's here with him. If he has noticed it then he doesn't let on. He just continues to stare down at his hands and it makes her question just how much they're sedating him, and for how long. Slowly she takes a few steps closer to the door, until there's almost no space between her and the slot and she can look right through it at him. Tatsu peeks inside, looking at him closer, as she draws in a long, quiet breath.

"Why?" she says, to him, to no one.

It falls away into the quiet until he stirs slowly.

It happens slowly. Boomerang seems to almost slip out of whatever daze he was in and he slowly begins to glance over at her. It doesn't happen too suddenly, and Tatsu is left waiting while he takes his time. Her gaze stays fixed on him while she waits (curiously, and quietly, and barely there) and she watches him, noticing the way that his shoulders seem bruised and sort of slumped, and she wonders how it's possible that he bruised and injured his own shoulders. But then she considers who he is and she decides that almost anything is possible.

"Holy shit, luv." Boomerang says, finally speaking. "Twice in one day, huh? You're a keen one. And I'm a lucky, lucky man."

Tatsu blinks quickly and feels her forehead start to twist up into a frown. He stares back at her and she waits, and then he waits for her to speak, and for a long time after this they're both quiet.

"So, what's this? Just couldn't resist me, hey?" he says, a few minutes later, then laughs. "At least you ain't like the other ones. 'Spose that's better. Never thought you were like 'em, anyway."

It quietens again and Tatsu really doesn't know what to say, what to do next, or where to begin. It's a little messy, she thinks, because in just a few seconds here with him she knows that something is wrong. The sedation is either too heavy, or it isn't just a drug to sedate him. There's more to it and she knows that because he's talking like she's been here before when she hasn't seen him in weeks.

"The others?" Tatsu asks quietly.

Her voice is quiet as it carries across the room over to him, but it still reaches him. Boomerang laughs again, for a reason that she also doesn't understand. It's something dry and staggered, and it slowly falls quiet. He lifts his head again and seems to lean back against the wall, like now that she's here he isn't interested in starting at the torn flesh of his knuckles, or the thick blood that's dried around the cuts to his hands.

Boomerang looks amused, and he even smiles. It's a lazy, slow smile that tugs on the corners of his lips and forms slowly.

"You talkin' to me this time?" he asks, eyes glued on her. "So quiet before. Weren't you? Didn't say a peep. Just watched me. Like a lil' mouse."

He doesn't say anything for a moment after, then something dawns on him and he's quick to speak again.

"Oh, hey. Hey. Don't go gettin' pissed with me now, darl. I got nothing against mice. And, hey—listen.."

Another pause follows, and after it Boomerang starts to move a little. He says something that Tatsu doesn't quite hear and then she watches as he moves, so he's leaning against the wall now, one shoulder pressed to it with his eyes set on her again. Tatsu notices that he winces ever so slightly, but it passes and that same smile settles on his face. She finds herself considering if it's a smile or a grimace, and then he makes a quiet noise that confirms that it's not just a smile. He makes a low and muffled noise as he leans against the wall that anyone else would miss it, but she doesn't.

She isn't like anyone else. Tatsu's always been aware of everything. All the little things that others miss, she sees. Tatsu always sees them and she knows it is a curse, to be so aware and to carry it always, but she carries it willingly.

"You are hurt."

It's something that he doesn't seem to hear, or if he does then he ignores it, and keeps going with whatever's on his hazy mind.

"There's nothing wrong with the others, you know? But that wasn't what I was saying, was it? Fuck, I know what you can do. I saw it. My point is..."

Boomerang stops again suddenly, then half-smiles at her. As he leans back against the wall more, he laughs a little.

"Well, fuck. I forgot my fuckin' point."

It happens again. Tatsu finds herself drawn to him, to go in there and help him. Her fingers stretch to open the cell but she can't, she doesn't have the key, there's nothing she can do. Her hand reaches to where she could pull the door open but she can't, there's no way in. Not like this, so she begins to think about how she will get inside. Going to Flag directly to ask isn't something that Tatsu believes would actually have a chance at working but it's all she's got, and it's better than breaking their trust and trying something that probably wouldn't end well for either of them.

"I was here before."

He lifts his head up. "Don't have to remind me, luv."

Tatsu hesitates, unsure if she wants to know.

"Who did you talk to?" she asks soon.

"Y'know." Boomerang shrugs. "Those pricks."

And that's it, that's all she gets. It makes her want to go inside again, and soon she realizes that that thought (of wanting to help him, and do something to make sure that he's fine) is accompanied with those same feelings, the ones she carries when she thinks about how she cares for them.

Why? She doesn't know why, she fears she'll never understand why she cares. It's because of what they went through, but it feels like more than that. Boomerang will likely be fine, she knows this, but right now it bothers her that he isn't. It feels difficult too, with the barriers between them. It's difficult to talk to him with the cell door in the way, but she doesn't see that changing right now, so she tries to do the best she can with the situation that they're in.

"Are you hurt?" Tatsu asks quietly. "What happened?"

It seems to fly right past him again, like he doesn't hear it, or maybe he chooses not to hear it. Then she considers that maybe he's not here at all anymore. It could be that whatever they've put him on is still in his system. Clearly it is, since this is the first time she's seen him since that night and he's talking to her now like it's their second visit.

"Are you hearing me?"

"Yeah? Clearly I'm hearin' you." he scoffs. "What about you? Are you hearin' me?"

Tatsu considers her options briefly, on what she can do and how she can help him. She doesn't want to leave him until she's assessed the situation and his physical condition, and after that she decides that she'll go to Flag. Beyond that, she doesn't have much planned as to what she'll do but Tatsu doesn't concern herself with that yet. It can wait until later.

"Come here."

Boomerang's smile still sort of hangs there, growing slowly as he watches her.

"Huh?"

Tatsu sighs. "Come over here."

Again, it seems to make little sense to him. It amuses him, more than anything.

"I'm right here, darl. Where are you?"

It frustrates her. Despite whatever she's feeling for him right now, whatever sympathy she might feel for the state that he's currently in, Tatsu finds herself still growing frustrated by him. It's difficult not to be irritated by him, she learned this long ago, but it's not just Boomerang that she's frustrated with. Tatsu also finds herself frustrated by her inability to do something about this. She wants to do more but they're stuck on other sides of the door, and right now she's fairly sure that Boomerang thinks she's just in his head.

He doesn't seem fine to her right now, not like the others. It's probably because of the drugs he's on for his sedation, but she still doesn't like it. Tatsu trusts Flag, she respects him, and knows she will always protect him. It's Waller that she's heard the stories about. She's ruthless and determined, and what Tatsu is looking at right now reads like punishment: Boomerang is the only one in solitary confinement, out of the rest of the group. He's sedated, hurt, and totally isolated. And while most of his injuries could be his own doing, there are some that she doubts he could or would do to himself. It leaves her questioning many things, even if she knows that maybe she shouldn't.

She's read his file, she knows what he can do, and fits of rage aren't exactly out of character for him. Tatsu can see him throwing himself at the wall, begging to be let out, and punching at things until his knuckles bleed. She can see that happening, and she can picture his frustration building to the point where he needs sedation, but it feels like there's more to it all than this. She doesn't know why it feels this way but it does, and if there is more to it then she's determined to work out what it is.

"Gone quiet again on me, huh? Damn. Just when I was gettin' used to yer voice again."

Tatsu stares at him for a moment, then speaks.

"How long have you been here?"

He sighs. "Too fuckin' long."

"In solitary confinement, I mean."

Boomerang considers this for a while, eyes roaming across the inside of his dirty little cell before he looks back at her.

"Don't know." he ends up saying. "Like I just said, too fuckin' long."

She waits again, for answers she knows she probably isn't going to receive, and for a confirmation that he's okay which she's almost certain that she isn't going to get today. So Tatsu continues to watch him until she speaks again.

"Can you do something for me?"

Her voice is quiet but there's nothing else in the space between them, so it lingers in the quiet until it passes. And then Tatsu is left to watches as Boomerang stands up from his spot on the ground. He moves slowly and she catches a few muffled noises from him, and then nothing. He takes a step over to the door, stops a minute later, and releases a heavy sigh. And as he stands there she notices it. She notices that there's something off and unsteady about his movements, along with the way his words sound. It doesn't feel right, and it leaves her feeling like there's still more to this than what they've told her.

"Ya want me to do something, Katana? For you?"

"Can you?"

It's not much, not really. Tatsu just wants to ask him to come over here, to come closer and allow her to take a better look at his injuries so she might at least feel like she's done something for him today. But she hasn't, and it weighs on her to know that she's caught up in this now. Because of him, for him. It doesn't matter, she's tied to it now, because she knows that if she walks away without doing something today it will stay with her, and if she does something about it then it will still stay with her. It's impossible, either way it stays with her in ways she wishes it wouldn't.

Tired suddenly, Tatsu sighs. "Can you?"

"You want me to do something for you." he repeats, then takes another three or four steps closer. "That's funny. 'Cos I kept askin' you, and askin', and you wouldn't do nothin' for me. Wouldn't fuckin' do it, would ya?"

His tone changes. Suddenly, quickly. It takes one look at Boomerang for her to know that he's pissed, and she doesn't know why because she's missing something important. It's something that's only in his head, and he won't share it with her. And then he looks at her through the slot on the door again and on the outside of the door she stretches her hand to it, ready to close it, because it feels like this is over now. But she doesn't walk away yet.

Tatsu waits and watches as he continues. Words still drawn out and slow, but angrier and heavier now. She doesn't understand what he wants or what's going on in his head, but when she watches him she almost does. Tatsu knows what he's been longing for, what he's been asking the faces in his head for, so she doesn't ask him. She almost asks, but she silences it and leaves him to do the talking for now.

"Fair's fair. Ain't it? You want me to do something for you? Then you do something for me. And listen, after that I'll do whatever the fuck it is ya want me to do."

What do you want from me? Tatsu is so close to asking, but she doesn't because she knows. It's what they all want, and it's something that Boomerang has never been able to conceal well. He's easier to read than he believes, and Tatsu's never had much difficulty reading him. What he longs for is clear, it always is. It's painted over his face, in an obvious and uncaring way. Blended in with the rage, and the smiles, and the bruises that always seem to be scattered over his face, it's there. And it's something that's much stronger now, much clearer than it's ever been, because of whatever drugs they've given him. Boomerang wants one thing. He wants to get out. It's why he screams at the guards, and it's why he runs at the door half a second later, when she can't give him what he wants.

Tatsu closes the slot on the door when he runs at it. It's a weak attempt on his side, it sounds like he hits the door badly, then messily slides down. And then there's nothing, and she's left to think about him. This is him, this is the man she's read the files on and seen in action. She knows that he carries a rage with him, but at the same time she knows this is what they've done to him. She knows what he wants, despite it all. It's what they all want, but what she knows they'll never have, not like the once did and not the way they long for it.

On the other side of the closed cell door, Boomerang suddenly jumps back up and starts banging on the door. It's all loud and heavy, and even though his screaming is muffled by the closed latch, she still hears him. He hits the door three more times, shouting at them, before he quickly falls silent again. When it's over, his words stay with her; just like those other fuckin' pricks, that just stand there. And do nothing! They do nothing.

After this, it remains quiet and in it she is left to think about what he wants. He wants to be free. They all do, but it isn't as simple as that. Not for people like them, controlled by someone like Agent Waller. They're the kind of people who will never know the freedom they once had. Not to the same extent, and not in the way they crave it. This she knows, and on some level she thinks they all know it, too. She understands it in her own way, what it's like to miss something so badly that she aches and cries for it.

She also knows what it is like to change; she will never be who she once was. She will never be free like she was, she will never be weightless or light. She is tainted too, in her own way, and in some way she thinks they see this in her.

They're mirrors of each other. With a few very big differences, of course, but the similarities remain. This is it, this is the reason why. It's the unexplainable reason, the connection to them, and the pull she occasionally feels. It's more than just their shared longing to be free, but this is one of the reasons why and she sees it now. They are all trapped in this world together, and now she is trapped here in his world—with a choice to make, and a quiet echo of his words replaying in her head, over and over again.

I'm right here, darl. Where are you?

note: hey so I really liked suicide squad and I walked out of the movie in love with katana (and pretty much everyone else tbh) and this idea just wouldn't leave me alone until I stared to write it so here it is. This fic will follow what I imagine could happen after the end of the movie, through katana's POV. with a very heavy focus on her relationship/dynamic with boomerang. because that was an unexpected but welcome part of the movie. Anyway, enjoy & thanks for reading! x