Chapter 7: Goodbye

I know now I was naive
Never knew where this would lead
And I'm not tryin' to take away
From the good man that he is

But how do I let go when I've
Loved him for so long and I've
Given him all that I could
Was it somethin' wrong that we did
Because others infiltrated
What went wrong with somethin' once so good

How do you find the words to say
To say goodbye (Find the words to say goodbye)
When your heart don't have the heart to say
To say goodbye? (Find the words to say goodbye)

Fitz froze at those words. But, he quickly recovered. He looked over at Olivia. It looks like she was frozen and unable to move, but there was panic and tears in her eyes. He knew that look. He went to her and gently cupped her face in his hands. "Liv, calm down."

She lifted her eyes to his. "Calm down? Fitz, I can't. I...I can't be pregnant."

He wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I know. I know. We'll take care of it. We've been here before, remember?"

She nodded her head, remembering the time they were in college when the condom broke.

"We'll just do what we did then," he said, referring to the morning after pill.

"Okay." She sniffed.

And, that's exactly what they did. And just like that, life went back to normal. No waiting around to see if she was pregnant, and then if she was, having to follow that up with a paternity test. It was the best option at the time. That was about a month ago, but it was still on Fitz's mind. He knew it was for the best, but he couldn't help but wonder what if.

Olivia intertwined her fingers with his. "What are you thinking about?" She asked.

He looked over at her and smiled. She knew him so well. But, he didn't want to tell her what was on his mind. He just shook his head and kissed her temple.

"What?" She pushed.

He knew she wasn't going to let it go. "I was just imagining the future," he said.

"What about it?"

"Nothing really. It's just that after that pregnancy scare, it's been on my mind a lot," he confessed

"You do know that I wouldn't have known if it was your baby or his, right?"

He nodded.

"I don't need anymore ties to him. And things are so complicated right now."

"I know. But," he rubbed his hand over her bare stomach. "I want that with you."

She placed her hand over his. "I know. And, we'll have it one day."

"When is one day?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly.

"Is it when both of your kids turn eighteen and leave for college?" He asked with frustration.

She turned to face him completely. "Don't do this. You know I don't have answers to those questions. Why are you're picking a fight with me?"

"I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just want more than what we have right now. Don't you?"

"You know I do. But, this is all we can have right now. I'm trying to make it work the best way I know how."

And he knew she was. But, he selfishly wanted her to himself. He wanted her in his bed at night and in the morning. He wanted to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved him, and only him. Because a part of him feared that she was still in love with Jonathan which was why she couldn't leave. And although she said they weren't, that they were still sleeping together. He had never felt insecure where Olivia was concerned, so this was new terrain for him, and he didn't exactly know how to tread it.

She climbed on top of him and kissed him. "I have to leave. It's getting late."

"I know," Fitz said, slipping his hand between her legs. "I'm sure you have a few extra minutes."

She glanced up at the clock on his wall. "I don't. It's midterms."

Fitz groaned and removed his hand. "I see why you wanted that clock there now. It's going to be gone when you come back," he said as he looked up at it. He had moved in his own place, and she had helped him decorate. That clock was just one of the many things around his apartment that said Olivia was a part of his life.

She laughed. "You better not. It was a lot of work, watching you put it up."

He smiled and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Jonathan met her at the door when she got home that evening. "You're late."

"I'm here," she replied as she brushed past him. "I don't know what else you want from me."

"I want you to be a mother to our kids. They already ate dinner, if you care."

She quickly turned around and faced him. "Don't you play that card with me. I'm a good mother, and you know I am."

"Good mothers don't fuck their boyfriends before coming home to their kids," he barked.

"I'm not even thirty minutes late. Sorry to disappoint you, but I would need more time than that with Fitz," she remarked.

"Don't say his name in our house anymore," he demanded.

She sighed and continued to the back to get the kids ready for bed.

Jonathan followed her down the hall. "Where were you?" He asked, angrily.

"If you must know, it's midterms. I gave my students fifteen extra minutes like I do every semester," she replied calmly.

"Oh. I'm-"

She didn't even stay around to hear his apology. She went in the nursery to get Gabby ready for bed. She found her making a daring escape out of her crib. She quietly walked up behind her, so she wouldn't startle her and picked her up. Gabby started to protest, until she saw her mother.

"Ma ma."

"Hey. What are you doing, my little gymnast?" Olivia kissed her on the cheek.

Gabby grinned and grabbed Olivia's face and planted a big, kiss on her.

JJ came running in the nursery. "Hey mommy."

"Hey baby." She leaned down and kissed his cheek. He was already dressed in his Teen Titans Go pjs.

"Did you have your bath, already?" Olivia asked.

"No," Jonathan said, coming in the room. "It's bath time, buddy."

"Why does he already have on pjs," Olivia wanted to know.

"So daddy won't get the dinosaur ones," JJ explained.

"Okay," Olivia said, accepting his explanation.

Shortly after they were all in bed, JJ shook her and woke her out of her sleep. "Mommy?"

She turned over and held her arms out to him. "Hey baby. What's wrong?"

"I'm scared," he said as he climbed in bed with her.

"What are you afraid of?" She asked as she held him close to her. There was no reason for him to be afraid. Jonathan was in bed with him, like he was every night, while she slept in the nursery with Gabby.

She felt him shrug his shoulders. "I don't know. I just feel scared. And, Daddy is sleep."

Olivia rubbed her hand up and down his back. "There's no reason to be scared. Mommy and Daddy are here. Even if we are asleep, we'll keep you safe."

"Is that why you sleep in here? Does Gabby feel scared, too?" He wanted to know.

"She's okay. She knows mommy is here. Do you want to stay in here with us? Or do you want me to wake Daddy up?"

"Stay in here," he said as he snuggled closer to her.

"Okay." She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight so that he would feel safe.

Olivia laughed as JJ danced and sang along to Beast Boy's Catching Villains while she cooked dinner. She had put it on her phone for him, and whenever he thought about it, he asked her to play it. And she basically had to keep it on repeat until he got bored with himself, which was going to happen way before Gabby got bored with him as she laughed and danced along with her silly brother.

Jonathan walked in from work. "Daddy's home," he announced. And just like that, the mood changed.

"Hey Daddy," JJ greeted him with a hug. When JJ hugged his father, it wasn't the same enthusiasm it had always been. He didn't run to him and jump in his arms like he used to. She had been noticing it for about a week. She wondered if Jonathan noticed it too.

"Hey Princess." He gave Gabby a kiss on her cheek, which she promptly wiped off. But, she did that with everyone except Abby and Olivia.

Olivia turned the song off. "Dinner's ready," said.

"Alright. Let me get cleaned up," Jonathan said and left out.

"Come on JJ," she said as she pulled his chair out for him. She fixed him and Gabby a plate. By the time she got her food, Jonathan had joined them. Throughout dinner, conversations flowed through JJ the way they had for weeks. Olivia also had the luxury of trying to help feed Gabby.

"Eat your food, sweetie," she said, trying to encourage her to eat.

"No," she replied.

"Eat a little for mommy," Olivia said, offering her some carrot puree.

She pushed the spoon away and reached for Olivia.

Olivia tried to give her her sippy cup, which Gabby threw onto the floor, and started whining as she reached for Olivia again. She relented and finally picked Gabby up out of her high chair, and she immediately laid her head on her mother. Then started grabbing at Olivia's shirt, letting her know she wanted to nurse. Olivia was weaning her off, which had been going well until a few weeks ago. In the past couple of weeks, she had been trying to nurse more, mostly at night.

"I thought you were weaning her off the breast," Jonathan said.

"I am. She usually only wants to nurse at night. JJ, baby," she turned her attention to her son. "Can you pick Gabby's cup up and rinse it off for me?"

When JJ gave her the cup, she tried to give it to Gabby again. And, once again, it ended up on the floor, and Gabby's whines turned into cries.

"Okay. Okay," Olivia gave in and let her little girl nurse.

"You think that's a good idea?" Jonathan asked.

"I've been doing a lot of things I don't think are good ideas, lately," Olivia retorted. "Feeding and comforting my daughter isn't one of them."

"Our daughter," Jonathan said, angrily. "And, I think if you're weaning her off, you should stick to that."

Olivia stared daggers at him, but calmly replied, "she's fine."

Jonathan didn't say anything, and Olivia caught JJ darting his eyes between them. This was not good for his little psyche. Something had to be done.

After the kids were down for the night, Olivia made her way to Jonathan.

"We need to talk," she told him.

"What about?"

"We can't keep doing this," she told him.

"Doing what?"

"This." She waved her hands in front of her. "Living like this."

"That is totally up to you," Jonathan said. "You're the one with the walls up."

She knew that was true, but there was nothing that would change that. "We're never going back to the way we were. I know that. And, you know that."

"Liv, we're not getting a divorce," he emphasized.

"But, we can't keep living like this," she stressed. "It's not just affecting us anymore. It's affecting the kids, too."

He scoffed. "The kids are fine."

"No, they're not. JJ can't sleep. He feels uneasy. He doesn't even know what the feeling is. The closest thing he can relate it to is fear. He's going to wake up soon, and I'm going to have to hold him until he falls asleep again. Gabby was weaning off nursing. Now, she wants to nurse again, because it's comforting. They don't feel the comfort of home anymore."

"Well, that's your fault."

She nodded her head. "I accept my blame in this. But, as their parents, we have to fix it."

He scoffed. "So, you want me to help fix this mess you made?"

"Yes," she exclaimed. "As their father, yes. That's what parents do. They move beyond their wants for their children. I'm still here with you, because I thought it was best for them. But, I see now that it's not."

"Liv, I'm not giving up my family."

"I'm not asking you to give them up. Let's just give them two homes full of love and comfort, instead of one filled with tension and misery. Think about it," she said and made her way to the nursery, only to be met by JJ running out of the bedroom.

"Mommy," he cried, holding up his arms for her to pick him up.

"It's okay," she soothed as she picked him up.

"Hey, buddy," Jonathan walked up to them. "You want to come with me?"

"I want mommy," he said as he hugged her tighter. "She makes me feel not scared."

"Okay," Jonathan said and kissed his forehead.

"Think about it," Olivia said.

Chasing Cars was playing loudly on the radio, and Fitz was singing along.

"Seriously?" William said, turning the radio down some.

"What?" Fitz asked.

"Can we please listen to something else beside this mush?" He reached for the radio.

Fitz knocked his hand away. "You'll understand when you find a girl you love as much as I love Liv. She made me this CD. She loves this song, so I love this song."

"You're pussy whipped."

Fitz laughed. "Sex with a girl you love is way better than casual sex with just any girl," he told him.

William shook his head. "I don't get it. Y'all were best friends forever, and then all of a sudden you're in love."

"I fell in love with my best friend," Fitz said with a wide smile. "It doesn't get any better than that."

"Well, I'm not falling in love with Matt," William said, ejecting the CD.

"Hey man," Fitz said, fumbling with the radio and reaching for the CD. William knocked his hand away and put another CD in. Fitz ejected it and they continued to play fight over the radio, until they heard a loud screech and bang and suddenly they were flying in the air and then everything went black.

Fitz woke up upside down, completely confused, and with an unbelievable headache and pain in his chest. He looked over and saw William on the other side, along with shattered glass, and concluded that they had been in an accident.

"Will," he called as he crawled out of the car and stumbled to William's side of the car. Can you get out?"

William tried to move, but couldn't. "It hurts," he said weakly. He tried to move his hand to his head where blood was oozing from, but couldn't.

"Hold on. I'm going to get you out." He tried to help him out of the car, but the seatbelt was stuck.

"I called for help," Fitz heard someone call. "Are you all right?"

"My brother is stuck," Fitz yelled.

"Hold on buddy. Someone is coming," the stranger said.

"Fitz, don't leave," William said, weakly, his breath coming in short, shallow spurts.

"I'm not," Fitz assured him. He grabbed William's hand. "I'm right here. I'm right here. You're going to be okay," Fitz kept repeating as he held his little brother's hand. He felt William's hand go limp in his and no longer heard his shallow breath, and he knew his little brother was gone.

"No. No. Will," he cried. "Come on buddy, please squeeze my hand again. Please," he broke down crying as he continued to squeeze his brother's hand, hoping to feel him squeeze his back.

Fitz shot up straight in the bed. He was sweating profusely and his heart was beating a mile a minute. He took a couple of deep breaths, got up, got dressed, and went for a drive, because he knew he would not be going back to sleep. It had been years since he had that nightmare. For years, he couldn't go to sleep without reliving that night. Hell, he even went through it while he was awake. But, over the years, it had gotten better. But, they were back with a vengeance. He knew it was because he was back home. And, he had finally caved and used some of the insurance money. He wanted a place for just him and Olivia, so he used that money to get an apartment. But, he felt guilty for using that money. How did he justify spending money that he got only because he killed his brother?

He needed to talk and clear his head. Olivia was only one person who could help him do that. He stopped and sent her a text.

Fitz: Can you meet me at the park?

Olivia: Now?

Fitz: Yeah

Olivia: Fitz, it's late. I can't. Is everything okay?

Fitz: I just want to see you.

Olivia: I can come by in the morning. But, I can't right now.

Fitz: I understand. I don't know what I was thinking. Go back to sleep.

Their lives had changed so much. Before, if he had texted her and asked her to meet him, she would have snuck out and met him without question. But, they weren't those kids anymore. She had kids, now. She had responsibilities that she couldn't just leave for him. It was time he accepted that.

Olivia had been worrying about Fitz since his text. But, there wasn't anything she could do about it. Not when her kids were sleeping next to her. She couldn't just leave to see if he was okay. She wanted to know that he was okay. But, she didn't want to leave her babies. So, after she dropped the kids off, the next morning, she stopped by his place.

Fitz greeted her with a hug. "Hi," she said, reaching up to kiss his lips. His kiss felt different, yet familiar, and she knew. She immediately knew what he was planning to do, even without him saying anything. She could feel it in his embrace and kiss. She pulled back and looked at him and it was all over his face.

"Fitz no," she began as tears fell from her eyes. "Do not do this to me again."

"Liv, you don't understand. William's death is starting to haunt me again."

"I do understand. What you don't understand like you didn't then is that I can help you. I can help you work this out. We can do anything together. Just don't leave me. You promised that you wouldn't leave me again," she begged.

"But, you're trying to work things out with your husband." He tried to justify his decision to both of them.

"I am not. And you know I'm not. I'm just trying not to break my little boy's heart. But, I'm not giving up on us," she reminded him. "You're giving up."

"I'm not. I'm trying to get away from what I did. I can't keep having these nightmares. I only have these dreams when I'm here."

"Why is it so easy for you to leave me? To walk away from us? Why doesn't it hurt you the way that it hurts me?" She wanted to know.

"It does."

"It doesn't, Fitz. It doesn't. Because, if it did, you wouldn't leave. If you felt what I felt on the day you left me, there's no way you would ever consider leaving me again."

"Liv," he reached for her hand, but she snatched it away.

"I fucked up my life for you, Fitz," she exclaimed with tears streaming down her face. "Turned my husband into a man I don't even recognize. Screwed up my kids life for nothing. Took their home and stability away. All for you. For us."

"Liv, I'm sorry."

"That's all you can offer me? 'I'm sorry.'"

"Liv."

"I know I can't offer you all of me, right now. But, I'm giving you what I can." She wiped her tears and sat down. " You're not coming back this time, are you?"

He kneeled in front of her. "No," he said quietly, almost a whisper.

She covered her mouth with her hand to keep a sob from escaping.

"There's nothing here for me, anymore," he tried to explain. "I had to come back to see that."

"But, I'm here," she sniffed.

"I know. And, I love you."

She shook her head. "You don't. If you did, you wouldn't be leaving me again. But, here you are. Walking away from me again. Like it's nothing." She scoffed. "I can't believe this is happening again. And, here I was feeling bad about taking the morning after pill after you talked about us having kids together. But, what difference would it make? You would just leave us."

"Livvie, you know I wouldn't leave if you were pregnant."

That comment was like a punch to her gut. It hurt her so much. She tried to stop the new stream of tears, but she couldn't. "You would stay for our child, but not for me?"

"Liv, that's not what I-"

"You don't love me enough to stay."

"Liv-"

"Let it go, Fitz." She stood up and grabbed her purse. "I should go," she said as she walked out, refusing to look back as she left.

"You look like hell," Laura said when Fitz walked in. "Are you okay?"

"I didn't get much sleep."

She motioned towards the couch. "What's going on?"

Fitz sat down and put his head in his hands. "The dreams about William have started back."

Laura sat down next to Fitz and hugged him. "Honey, I'm sorry. We'll work through it."

"I can't. The only time the dreams stopped is when I wasn't here. So, I'm leaving."

Laura sat up and looked at him. "Again?"

Fitz couldn't miss the hurt in her voice. All he was doing was hurting the women who loved him.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "But, I can't stay here. I just can't."

"You think I don't dream about William every night?"

"It's a little different for me, Mom. I see the accident over and over again. I feel him die every night."

"Fitz, I lost my baby boy," she pointed out.

"I don't know how you can stand to look at me."

"Because I know it's not your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. You have to talk to someone," she pushed.

"It won't help."

"You don't know that."

"We were goofing around. I wasn't even really paying attention like I should have been."

"Something you two had done a countless number of times before."

"It still was my fault," he determined.

"Your mind is made up, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"What about Olivia? Does she know?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah."

"So, what happens with her?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing. I ended it. Probably what's best for her family, anyway."

"I wish you were staying," Laura said.

"I know. But, this is what's best me, Mom." He was sold on the idea of leaving. He had no idea where he was going. He just knew that he had to get away. He wished things were different, but William's death was the one thing he couldn't live with. That guilt was stronger than everything else in his life.

Olivia stood back and quietly listened to Jonathan and JJ's conversation whole Jonathan helped him get ready for bed.

"You want to tell me what you were scared of last night," Jonathan asked JJ.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I just feel scared a lot. But, mommy makes it go away."

"Do you feel scared when you're with me," Jonathan wanted to know.

"Sometimes, if mommy isn't here."

"Do you know why?"

JJ shook his head.

"Do you think I will hurt you?"

JJ shook his head. "No. But sometimes you're not nice to Mommy," he said quietly with his eyes cast down.

"What? Mommy's -" Jonathan was prepared to go on the defensive and accuse of Olivia of not being nice to him, because of her affair. But, he stopped himself. He was talking to his son, and was supposed to be finding the source of his fears, not vindicating himself. And, he knew he and Olivia hadn't been nice to each other lately. And, his son was forcing him to admit to himself that it was more him than it was her. He could tell that she had considered the children, and stopped herself on quite a few occasions. But, he had been in his feelings, and let them out when he undoubtedly should have held them in. "I don't mean to be. I promise I'll be nice from now on. Okay?"

JJ nodded. "Okay."

"Alright. Good job," Jonathan high fived JJ. "Now, go give Mommy and Gabby a hug and a kiss and let's get tucked in for your story."

Olivia quickly made her way back to the nursery to wait on her hug and kiss.

"Goodnight, Mommy," JJ raced on the room and gave her a hug and kiss.

"Goodnight sweetheart." She hugged him tightly.

"Goodnight," he whispered to a sleeping Gabby and kissed her cheek, which she even wiped off in her sleep.

Lil' mean ass, Olivia chuckled to herself.

"Don't be scared. Mommy's here," JJ whispered and ran back out.

Except for her time with JJ and Gabby, Olivia had been on autopilot. Fitz had shot her whole day to hell. But, she had to power through it. Now, that her babies were asleep, she had some time alone with her thoughts and feelings.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Not at this moment. Not when she thought she finally had some semblance of control over her own life. She realized that she didn't. Realized that the control that she thought she had, rested in Fitz's hands. And, she hated that. She needed to at least feel in control, but at the same time be held. To be comforted and told that everything would be alright, even if it was a lie.

She softly closed the bathroom door, careful not to draw attention to herself. And quietly took off her robe before joining Jonathan in the shower. He turned around at her intrusion. She could tell he wanted to smile, but he was also confused.

"Liv?"

She took a step back. What was she doing?

"Liv?" There was urgency in his voice. And he no longer looked confused, but concerned. He reached out a hand to her and she realized what she thought was water on her face was actually tears. And she sunk down to the floor, sobbing.

"Liv," Jonathan called her again. "I'm not totally sure what I should do here. My instinct is to hold you, but, I don't know if that's what you want. If you would be comfortable with that. Tell me what you want," he said softly. "What do you need?"

"Him," she whispered between sobs. "I need Fitz."

She knew what she was asking for was ridiculous and something that she could not have. So, she just asked for a few minutes to herself. Just a little time to sit with her new reality that her life was fucked up and there was no longer a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Fitz was leaving, which meant everything that had happened since his return had been for nothing. For nothing. She couldn't believe she had put herself in this situation. If she had just taken some time, and maybe not told Jonathan right away, there would be something there to salvage.

Fitz knocked lightly on her open office door.

"Hi," he said softly when her eyes lifted to his.

"Can I help you?"

He knew he deserved that. But, he stepped further inside and closed the door.

"I just want to let you know that I'm leaving before day tomorrow. I probably won't see you again before I go. So, I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye," she said with no feeling or emotions. And, it really hurt him. Probably not as much as him leaving was hurting her, though.

"Don't be like that," he pleaded.

"Fitz just leave," she said with exasperation. "You came here, and now….I can't even fake this shit with Jonathan anymore. I tried."

What did she mean by she tried? He didn't like what that implied. "What do you mean you tried?"

"I tried to fuck him," she told him. She fought back tears. Ashamed of who she was in that moment with Jonathan. "I tried to have sex with my husband and couldn't. I tried to fix what I broke just because you were back in my life, and I couldn't. You fucked up my life." Tears fell from her eyes. "You should have never came back."

"Don't say that," he pleaded.

"Why not? It's true."

"Liv."

"Look at my life, Fitz. You came back and I fucked up. Acted on impulse and emotion. And, here we are. But, you're leaving. You don't have to deal with the repercussions of you telling me that you love me, and me believing it enough to basically throw everything else away."

"Liv, I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry."

"Nothing. You don't have to say anything else. This was my fault. I was the one with the husband and kids. I should've been more responsible." She grabbed her bag and prepared to leave, but he was still standing there.

"What?" She demanded. "What else do you want from me?"

He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. She resisted at first, but soon broke down crying in his arms. He knew she was going to miss him. He was going to miss her. But, he didn't know what else to do. Leaving had helped him once before. He just hoped it would help him again.

"I'm sorry," Olivia apologized once she stopped crying and took a step back from Fitz.

"Don't apologize."

She cleared her throat. "I don't want to seem like I don't care," she told him. "Because I know you blame yourself. So, I hope you finally find peace with William's death."

"Thanks," he said quietly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

She reached up, kissed his cheek, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm angry with you right now. And, I'm hurting. But, you will always be my first love, and I will forever love you, no matter where you are in this life. You don't have to be in my arms to feel my love. It's with you always."

"I will forever love you," he whispered. He kissed her cheek, allowing his lips to linger as he cherished the feeling that he would never feel again. And the tears he had been holding back since he told her he was leaving begin to fall. He wiped his tears away and left, not wanting her to see him cry.

Fitz stood in the window of his old bedroom, looking across the way at Olivia's parents house when he heard a knock on the door.

"It's open," he said and his mother walked in. She wanted to be able to say goodbye to him and see him off. So, he had promised her that he would spend the night with her.

"I don't guess I can make a final attempt to talk you into staying," she said.

He shook his head. "This is hard enough."

"Is it? If it really is, stay."

"I can't."

"I feel like this is another impulsive move by you. You not trying to even think of another way to deal with this. You're just running. I would think that the navy would teach you to stay and fight."

"Stay and fight who? What?"

"Yourself. Your demons. Your fears. Fight for a better you. Fight to make Olivia your wife, and stop screwing with her emotions. Maya said Olivia's life is in shambles, right now. And, I know you leaving is only making it worse."

"I just said goodbye to her, and it was the hardest thing I had to do."

"I wonder how hard it was for her. Fitz, Olivia has given up so much for you. The school she was supposed to go to. Her relationship with her father. And, now her marriage. What have you given up for her?"

That question really hit him. He hadn't really thought about it, but it was true. Olivia was the one making all of the sacrifices in their relationship. But, what he had done...the pain he had caused his mother was not something he could get past to stay.

"What about you? I caused you grief. You should be happy I'm leaving. You won't have to keep seeing the man who killed your son."

Laura sighed. "I keep thinking about the last time you left. I had just lost William. And, then I lost you. I know you thought you were doing me a favor by leaving. But, you just made me grieve both of my boys. And, now I'm going to have to do it again." She took a couple of seconds to wipe away tears that were threatening to fall. "I just hope it's worth it. And, you find whatever it is you're searching for. But, I just want you to know that everything you need is here."

After sitting alone in her office, crying for a considerable amount of time, she finally got up and made her way home, where she found Jonathan waiting alone.

"The kids are with your parents," he told her. "And, I haven't been drinking. So, I'm not going to hurt you. I cooked dinner, if you're hungry."

"Why are they with my parents," she asked cautiously. She looked at the table that was set for dinner. She really hoped he didn't have a romantic night planned. She thought about the night before, and knew she had given him mixed signals. But, she was never sleeping with him again. There was no hope for them. And, a part of her hated that. "Besides," she added. "I don't want them around my father."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

She shrugged. "It's fine. I'll just go get them."

"Wait. I wanted us to talk."

"Jonathan." She didn't feel like hearing him ask for them to try again. She just wasn't in the mood for it.

"Just listen, please. Can we sit down and eat?" He motioned towards the kitchen.

"No," she said with exasperation. "I just want to go get my babies."

"Fine. But, before you do, I just want to...I planned this whole night to...um...to tell you that you're right. We should get the divorce."