"I didn't ask for this! It hadn't been my intention to –" Harry began but the cloak figure standing in front of him interrupted.

"Shut it! Believe me boy. I don't like to be tied to you either. I have no Master but myself. Can you just imagine if someone finds out that Death is at the beck and call of a human? Such notion is simply ridiculous!" Death snapped.

"Then, what are we going to do about it?" Harry retorted, emerald eyes flashing in irritation.

"We?" Death said in an incredulous tone. "No, little human. There's no we. I haven't even considered you as someone remarkable, much less my equal."

"OK. So what are you going to do about our current predicament?"

In spite of the hood that covered Death's face (if he had a face that is) Harry could almost sense it when Death frowned in silent contemplation.

"The only solution is to find another Death God who will serve you as my replacement." Death informed.

"Why go that far? You don't need to find someone who will fill the role on your behalf. Why not simply break the contract?"

"Do you think it's that simple, you mortal fool?! The title as the Master of Death is permanent! It's binding, and if I don't, in some way, fulfill the part that is expected of me, I will lose my power! It's not simple as tearing a sheet of paper or getting, in what your fellow humans call, a divorce. Now, get moving and come along with me!"

"What? Where?!" Harry asked in alarm. "Where are you taking me?"

"Your unending questions are starting to grate on my nerves, human. So you better shut your mouth, lest I might accidentally drop you in Hell on our way to our destination."

Before Harry could even attempt to escape, Death took a hold of his arm and dragged him across a black portal that suddenly appeared.

His protests were swallowed by the freezing gust of wind and a ringing noise that turned him deaf.

Shinigami Realm

Later...

There was a feeling of dread that coiled tightly at the pit of his belly when Harry's eyes landed on the enormous creature that was suspended in chains. It had a skull for a head, with four tentacle-like arms that only consist of three fingers on its hand.

Meanwhile, standing at the steps that lead to the King of that realm, was a creature mostly composed of skeletons and wearing all manner of jewelry.

On his far right, in between the towering columns, Harry saw two of its kind sitting on the floor. One had an appearance of a bird, with its mouth looking like that of a canary, plus with an insect-like arms. Another one was very strange, it had eight eyes that lined up two rows on each side of its head.

When Harry turned his attention to the left, he saw two more gambling at the corner. One creature was almost humanoid in appearance and wore a bone mask over its face, while tucked between its arms was a scythe. Harry watched that one play cards with another monstrous creature sitting opposite it.

The cloaked figure, who was responsible for bringing Harry to that place, was saying to the apparent King of that realm.

"He wants to play the Master of Death –"

I'm not here to become the Master of Death! Harry wanted to yell, but gritted his teeth instead. In his mind, he heard someone - who sounded like Hermione - warning him that it would be unwise to draw attention to himself, especially when he was in an unknown territory and surrounded by these terrifying creatures that could gobble him if they felt like it.

Death continued on without interruption.

"So…perhaps you can find a Death God who's willing to serve him and become my proxy. I don't have time to play to this mortal's tune." Death informed to the one suspended in chains.

"If that is your wish, Thanatos." The creature said. "You can ask anyone from the Shinigamis gathered in this room to replace you. However, they are free to choose whether to accept the human as their Master or not."

"We are of the same mind, Shinigami Daiō. The Master of Death is no trivial title after all. The Shinigami that I will choose shall be someone who is willing to serve the mortal as its Master." Death said, before turning around to address the creatures in the room. "Is there anyone interested in providing this puny mortal their life-long servitude?"

As expected from an unexcitable bunch, no one answered. They seemed to be more engrossed in staring at the walls, playing cards, sleeping, or like one of them was doing, eyeing Harry.

Harry fidgeted when the creature with too-much jewelry angled its head in his direction.

"I can give you apples, chocolates or gold from the human world if you accept." Harry heard Thanatos adding, like dangling a carrot in front of a horse.

One of the shinigamis perked up its head.

"How many chocolates?" The one who asked was the creature with a canary beak for a mouth.

"As many as you want."

"Really?" the thing sounded so excited at the prospect of chocolates.

"Yes," was Thanatos dismal reply.

There was a contemplative pause as Sidoh mulled it over.

"How long do you say will I be serving this human as my Master?"

I'm right here you know. Harry scowled. Once more, he reminded himself not to attract their attention. He forced himself to act docile and mute. It would only worsen his already dangerous predicament if he did the exact opposite.

"Until the day you turn to ash,"

"That's too long," Sidoh whined.

"Too long it might be, but your years will be filled with eating chocolates, yes?" Thanatos reminded the stupid fellow.

"I think I can get me some chocolates in the human world on my own. But watching over a human for the rest of my life sounds so…so dull." Sidoh finished, presenting his back to Thanatos and started watching the other Shinigami gamble.

Harry felt slightly relieved to hear the Shinigami's rejection.

Thanatos, on the other hand, was contemplating about turning the piece-of-shit into a pile of ash right then and there.

"Well," Shinigami Daiō began, interrupting Thanatos dark thoughts. "If no Shinigami is interested to lend their hand from this realm, it may be good to ask others in another world."

"It would seem I don't have a choice on the matter," Thanatos sighed. "Come here, mortal."

Harry reluctantly stepped towards Thanatos as the cloaked figure descended down the steps.

"This is absolutely unnecessary. I don't really care about being the Master of Death." Harry complained in low tone, when Thanatos neared. "Can you just find a way to-"

He froze when Thanatos lifted his skeletal hand.

Harry clamped his mouth shut, glaring.

Suddenly struck by a thought, Thanatos hastily pivoted around and addressed the King once more, "How about the Shinigamis who are already in the Human World?"

Shinigami Daiō shot Thanatos a sharp look, if it was even possible through empty eye sockets.

"What of them?"

"They're serving humans through the notebooks you gave them, am I correct?"

"Yes, they do used the notebooks for their games. What is it do you intend to do?" the King asked, vaguely getting an idea where Thanatos was going with this.

"The Shinigamis of this world serve humans who have the Death Notes. Likewise, I am force to serve the person who unites the Deathly Hallows in the world I'm appointed in. These Death Note users are equivalent to being the Master of Death, though the former doesn't carry much weigh in terms of power. Nonetheless, considering that your Shinigamis are more…open to accepting a human for a Master, and have done so already. I plan to make use of any one of the Shinigamis, who are currently in the human world, as a replacement for my position." Thanatos' explained his plan.

Shinigami Daiō stared at Thanatos for a few seconds before letting out a laugh. The creatures of his court glanced up at the unexpected noise, but immediately went back to what they were doing, seemingly unmoved by their King's show of emotion.

Whereas Harry shivered when he heard the King's chilling laughter, his stomach churned with acid and mounting dread.

"Very clever, Thanatos." Shinigami Daiō commented.

Now, Harry felt like ready to bolt out of there after hearing the King's remark. It didn't bode well for him at all.

"There's about fifty shinigamis that are now currently in the human realm." Shinigami Daiō recalled. "You can choose anyone that is suitable. Though I might suggest selecting a Shinigami who is very devoted to its Master. It won't serve your purpose at all if the vessel, that holds your Master, is killed prematurely."

"He is not my Master," Thanatos corrected in haste before continuing. "But you are quite right. If the Shinigami that I choose kills the vessel that holds the boy's soul, I will lose my power, which is inconceivable."

The King jerked its head to what Harry thought resembled a nod.

"Who do you suggest is better suited to become my proxy?" Harry heard Thanatos asked.

Incredibly incensed at them for continuing with the conversation like he wasn't there, Harry decided to butt in.

Harry had already won the war against Voldemort. With Dumbledore gone, he wasn't going to let anyone make decisions for him.

But there he was yet again, with Thanatos and the King talking about what they could do to Harry's life, like they had the right to it.

Well, perhaps they did because they were Death Gods…but still…

Clenching his hands into fists, Harry took a step towards Thanatos and gritted out, "I told you! I don't want to be the Master of –"

Thanatos waved his skeletal hand.

A heartbeat later, Harry dropped down on the floor with a thud and already sleeping.

The conversation resumed like nothing happened.

"Her name is Rem." The King stated. "She's in love with her human and will do everything for her."

"Her? The potential vessel is a female?" Thanatos queried.

The King nodded.

There was a brief pause right before Thanatos started snickering in sadistic glee.

"Oh, this will be a fitting punishment for the mortal." Thanatos chortled. "I'm certain the boy won't get to enjoy his role as the Master of Death if he's stuck in a girl's body….AHAHA!"

"Misa-san! Misa-san! Okite, Misa-san!" (Misa-san! Misa-san! Wake up, Misa-san!)

Harry woke up with a groan, batting away the finger that was poking at his face. His head felt like it was hit by a dozen sledgehammer and turned his brain into a red pulp of goo. Images rushed into his mind, too fast for him to grasp, and confusing for him to understand.

With his eyes still closed, he remained lying in what felt like a carpeted floor. He could also sense people nearby.

Harry decided to stay in that position until the chaos within his mind regained some order.

"Doshitano? Hanashiteiru toki kyuni taoere." (What happened? You suddenly collapsed while we were talking to you.)

He heard someone say in a language that he couldn't understand.

He slowly peeled his eyes open.

First thing he noticed was the lack of familiar black-rimmed glasses sitting at the bridge of his nose.

Surprisingly, even without his glasses, Harry could still see clearly.

He could see the two blokes hovering over him. One was crouched next to his form, and wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt, loose blue trousers. He had a pitch-black hair that stuck out in one direction at the back. He looked creepy too; with dark, big round eyes and shadows beneath them that made him look like a racoon; clearly an insomniac.

With a thumb affixed on his mouth, the weird-looking guy stared at Harry in a creepy way.

"Daijyobu? Mizu hoshi?" (Are you alright? Do you need water?)

Harry jerked his head when he heard the soft, carefully modulated voice of the other one who remained standing. His gaze landed on a face, in Harry was certain, girls would find appealing. The guy had brown hair with a tint of red, pale skin and dark brown eyes. He looked no more than twenty, wearing buttoned up black shirt; practical, brown trousers, and –

Wait, Harry's assessment came to a screeching halt, his mind finally able to catch up on what was occurring around him. These two were speaking in Japanese…Where the hell am I? And who are they?

Harry's brows knitted. However, without warning, there was a flash of pain in his head. He felt the dull throbbing at his temples and the back of his scalp.

"Kao iro waruiyo, Misa." (You look pale, Misa.) He heard the one standing over him said. Harry detected a note of concern in the guy's voice.

Harry's mind was now a whirlwind of memories, fast and fleeting, around and around his head. He shut his eyes and tried to piece those images into a semblance of coherence.

The two guys continued talking over him while he lay there dizzy and slightly nauseous.

"Chokoreto demo iru kamo." (Perhaps she needs chocolate.) The weird one murmured. Through Harry's chaotic thoughts, he was able to note the slight amusement beneath the layers of feigned nonchalance in the guy's words.

It was soon followed by a crackling noise of an aluminum foil as something was opened.

Harry pressed his eyes shut, getting sick even at the idea of food.

"Chokoreto nanka iranaiyo!" (She doesn't need your chocolate!)

He half-listened as the one with brown hair remarked in what Harry supposed was annoyance.

"Okiruniwa tabun Kisu ga irundayo, Laito-kun." (Maybe she needs your kiss to wake her up, Light-kun.) came the weirdo's wry suggestion.

Slowly, very slowly, Harry began to understand that things that were being said around him, albeit it came to him like a trickle of water in a desert.

"I'm sure Misa is fine, Ryuuzaki… Though…I suppose she might need a bit of an incentive to bring her out of her stupor."

"Hmn, this must be what Misa has planned all along, Light… You might as well indulge her." The one called Ryuuzaki said.

"Perhaps I shall..."

With his eyes still closed, Harry frowned when he heard the sound of someone walking to kneel on his other side. Consequently, there was a creaking noise on the floorboards when the person put weight on it, like he was leaning in.

It wasn't until he could feel someone's minty breath fanning dangerously close to his face that Harry's eyes shot open, and was greeted by the sight of the brunette's face just a foot from him.

"Oh.. I'm glad you're awake now, Misa. And here I thought–"

Harry moved through sheer instinct and punched the guy in the face. He felt the nasal cartilage break beneath his knuckles. The Light-person let out a strangled cry of pain and staggered away.

Realizing what he had done, Harry's eyes widened in astonishment, mutely observing when blood started to gush out from the guy's broken nose.

The sight of the guy invading his personal space had made Harry react faster than he could even blink. Immediately, he regretted it when the other guy, who was still crouched beside Harry, pressed a thumb on his mouth and started regarding him with renewed interest.

"Misa! Why ever did you punch me for?!" The guy, who had gotten his nose broken, managed to say.

Harry's fist was now smarting fiercely.

"Amm..." Harry began, only to stiffen when his voice came out high-pitched.

"I am –" He tried again, becoming horrified as the voice he heard was that of a girl, and not his at all.

Harry looked down, and finally noticed the black, mid-thigh skirt he was wearing, the black boots, and the odd-fish-net-like stockings covering his – her creamy legs.

And when he brought his hands to his chest and felt the unmistakable - firm and generous - lumps there, Harry completely freaked out.

Where ever he was…and who ever these people are. Harry didn't need to be smart as Hermione to know that he's completely, and thoroughly, fucked.

oooOOOooo

Somewhere in another realm, Thanatos was watching the events unfold, and couldn't help but chuckle when the mortal finally realize his - or her - current dilemma.

Author's Note: Another plot that I couldn't shake. This is not the first DeathxHarry Potter crossover that I wrote and I still plan to post another one soon.