Kira Yoshikage's (not so) Peaceful Evening.

Kira Yoshikage sighed tiredly as he entered his house after a hard day at work.

Work was always such a boring and tiring chore. But it was necessary in order to not only to earn money but to keep a semblance of a normal life. So if he wanted to keep his life as peaceful as he wanted it, he needed to work.

"Alas, everything will be worth it after I prepare some nice dinner for…" Kira's out-loud thoughts were interrupted once he passed the living room and found something that threatened to crush his dreams of a normal and peaceful life.

Seating with its back against a wall, was the unmoving and stiff corpse of a man, bleeding all over the floor. Such a ghastly scene would send any normal man into a terrified craze. But Kira Yoshikage was no normal man.

"Lyra!" He shouted the name of the other resident of the house and a couple of seconds later he got a response.

"Kira? Already back from work?" A girl with cyan hair and a white streak running down it, entered the living room coming from the kitchen. She was dressed in a typical high school sailor uniform underneath an mint green apron with a golden lyre decoration on the front.

This was his little sister, Kira Lyra.

"Lyra, there's a dead man in the room." Kira said not very pleased that his evening was been ruined by it.

Lyra quickly turned her cherry disposition into a look of utter shock. "Oh hey, how did it get here?" She asked with a obviously fake surprise tone.

"Lyra…" Kira said sounding even more annoyed by his little sister's "attempt" to fool him.

"I didn't do this." The girl was too quick to deny, still faking innocence in the matter.

Kira knew his sister would keep on the charade until he surrendered in annoyance, which to her meant she won the argument, so instead he humored her and asked. "Then explain what happen here."

Lyra stood there, her brain trying to come up with an explanation that would not need any following questions. But the more time it passed the harder it became to think of anything. So instead she tried to turn the tables on her brother.

"I can't believe you think I did this. My own bother!" She pointed a finger at him in an melodramatic fashion, faking offense to his accusation. "You should know that killing is my least favorite thing to do."

Feeling like he already wasted enough time on this, Kira pointed to something resting upon his sister's head. "You are wearing the hat, Lyra."

Indeed, the high-schooler was wearing a black top hat. Something she only used on her more "private" of activities. Kira never understood why she wore it and for the sake of his sanity, he never tried to ask.

In the blink of an eye, Lyra took of the top hat and hid it behind her back. "I don't know what you're talking about." Feigning ignorance pass the point of absurdity.

Kira gave a heavy sigh. It was not easy being the sole responsible of a teenage girl that refused to stop acting like a child inside the confine of their home. Looking around the living room and taking in all the details, either big or small, so he could form a theory.

"Let me guess, you brought this person to our house, offered him to stay put, served him tea and cookies, sneaked right behind him and, judging by the number of wounds, you stabbed it 36 times on the chest." He proposed the most likely sequence of events that explained what transpired here.

"37 times." Lyra muttered under her breath.

"Lyra, I'm getting tired of you not cleaning after yourself. It's improper for a lady your age to act like this." Kira said exasperated of having this same conversation with his sister over and over again whenever she decided to kill someone.

"Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck." She apologized, clearly not meaning it.

Kira could see himself having this exact same conversation with her all over again in the future. But instead of focusing on that he decided to point out something particular about the body.

"What about its hands?"Indeed, the corpse was missing both of its hands, all the way to the elbow. "What happened to his hands?"

"Oh, I just finished cooking them up." She announced all too happy. "I was about to eat them when you arrived."

"Lyra…!"

"Well, I was hungry, you known. When you crave hands…" She tried to reason, but Kira just stared at her with those cold eyes of his.

"Lyra…!"

"I was hungry for hands give me a break!" But Kira was not having any of her attitude.

"Lyra!"

"My stomach was making the rumblies…"She patted her stomach trying to look cute, and Kira suspected she was no longer hearing a thing he was saying.

"Lyra!"

"That only hands will satisfy!" She finished with her eyes dilating, staring up not at her brother but at something only she could see. Kira could tell his sister was about to go inside her own little world.

"Lyra!" He called out snapping her out of her trance. "Just what is wrong with you?" Thankfully, this only happened inside the comfort of their hands and never outside. Otherwise, she wouldn't be living with him no more; or living at all.

"Well, I kill people and eat their hands. That's two things." She said lifting both index and middle fingers with a cherry smile, unperturbed by the words coming out of her mouth.

Kira once again sighed, but this time he called forth his special ability.

"Killer Queen!"

A tall humanoid that resembled a cat appeared and went directly for the corpse on the living room's floor; using its power Killer Queen "erased" any evidence from existence.

"Let this be the last time I have to clean up after you." Kira warned just like any other responsible big brother would.

"I'm sorry…" Lyra bowed down her head, genuinely regretting upsetting her brother. But her downed mood only lasted for so long before she was standing tall once again. "If you want I can make Dinner for you, as a sign of apology!"

"That would be nice." Kira accepted with a nod. "But remember…"

"I know I know." She waved him off. "You never liked any of my special ingredients. Your tastes are so boring, Big Brother." With that she left the living room and made her way to the kitchen to make the promised dinner.

Once Kira was alone, he could one sigh and shake his head from side to side.

"Sometimes I don't know how I stand her. My poor insane little sister." Then he opened his coat and from inside pulled the severed arm of what once was a pretty woman. "I'm sorry you had to witness that." He talked to the arm as if it was alive. "I hope this hasn't soured your appetite for dinner."

The arm remained silent, and Kira couldn't help but smile.

"You're right, I better tell Lyra to prepare something for you too."

Despite being a little more frustrating than usual, this had been just another day peaceful day in the life of the Kira household.

Author Notes:

Once again I wish to thank Deparde Quizno and his story "Friendship is a Bizarre Adventure" which latest chapter: Chapter 42, inspired this crazy one-shot.

Also inspiring this piece, is the video Ponies with Hats, which in turn is based on the video Llamas with Hats.