"Callen!"

"G?"

The voices came again, along with a lot of pain, though strangely enough not in his back as he expected but in his shoulders and his head. Callen blinked as he woke up, his head bandaged and pain throbbing.

"G… come on man, come back to us."

"Dallas?" he asked groggily.

"Dallas?" Sam's voice cut through the gloom, "You're waking up finally and you're asking for the cheerleaders?"

"What?" Callen asked confused. He moved, the cannula in his hand pulling as he tried to lift himself up. He opened his eyes and groaned as Sam sat next to his bed. "Am I under arrest?" He asked.

Sam looked over at Hetty who was sat silently in the corner, "How hard did he hit his head?" he asked with a slight smirk, relieved his partner was finally awake.

"My head's just fine." Callen snapped, then he groaned as pain shot through his head. "Ow! What happened? Did I get shot?" he asked.

"Nope, building blew up." Sam replied.

"Where's Dallas?" Callen asked, worried.

"Texas?" Sam asked.

Callen glared at him, "Don't be funny; Dallas Alder, where is he?"

"Still in prison I guess." Sam looked over worried at Callen, something seemed off. "Why you so worried about him?"

"I…" Callen looked at Sam, "You're the fed? You killed…damn…" Callen's hands reached up to rub away the pain in his head.

"G?" Sam looked worried, "Of course I'm a federal Agent, you are too remember? You're my partner…my brother…" He stopped as Callen flinched, an angry look crossing his face.

Hetty moved as she listened to the conversation.

"Mr. Callen, can you tell me what you remember?" She asked.

"You lied to me…you came into my life at fifteen and you betrayed me." The hurt in his voice was unmistakable, "Dallas was there when I was in prison after the cops arrested me for stealing that car and escaping from Juvie."

"You were never arrested." Hetty told him, "I was there when the car hit the light pole and I took you in, you called me short and I told you that you had potential, you were taken from the system and given a fresh start with me."

Sam, although he had heard some of the story, was surprised to hear it confirmed by Hetty.

Callen shook his head and winced with the pain, "You weren't there, I was arrested, I went through hell that made juvie seem like a summer camp. I met you just before I was gonna get released. You left me in Fulsome and it if wasn't for Dallas I'd be dead."

Hetty sighed, she knew that if she had not been there for Callen on that day, he probably would have ended up in Fulsome. "Stay there while I get a doctor Mr. Callen." She said and stood up.

Callen sighed, "So I am under arrest." he said to himself and closed his eyes. Ma and Kaylee were dead, Dallas was back in prison and he had lost everything. Maybe his life would have been better if Hetty had been there when he crashed that car, maybe his life would not have been destroyed.

Sam watched his partner carefully, he was unsure what was going on in that head of his partner and friend, but he was not happy with the looks of distrust and hatred he was throwing in his direction. This was not his brother, this was a stranger, but Callen knew who he was, so he had not lost his memory. What had happened in that building to make Callen suddenly hate him so much?

Callen did not understand; there were two sets of memories warring in his head, the feelings of loss and hurt and hatred he had lived with for most of his life with Dallas. Then there were the memories that were newly knocking on the door of his head; meals with Sam, his wife and children. Being Uncle Callen, spending days with Kamran and Aiden as part of Sam's family. Memories of Hetty reading to him, drinking tea and discussing their day. Sitting in the bullpen, Sam smiling over at his partner…partner? He was a cop?

No, that could never be right that he was a federal agent. Him?! The kid no one wanted, the reject…the prison…?

Again Callen shook his head, he had never been in prison, not as himself. The memories, the dream, whatever it was faded. Harder for him to let go of were the feelings of love and family he had remembered getting from Ginny and Kaylee.

Hetty had been there, he had run from Juvenile hall, stolen a car and crashed it into a pole. He had never been taken and thrown into jail, he had been saved, by her. She had been there for him when he had needed her the most.

Hetty walked back in with the doctor, "Mr Callen, the doctor and I am concerned about your memory."

He wanted to snap that his memory was fine, but deep down he knew it was far from fine; something was off.

"I…I'm not sure what's going on, what's real and what isn't." Callen admitted. "I look at him…Sam, and I know I trust him, but a part of me hates him."

Sam looked stricken at that revelation, "G?"

Callen shook his head, "No. I just need some time, please?" He asked, not looking at Sam or Hetty.

The doctor stood looking at the uncomfortable young man in the bed and feeling for him, quietly asked the others to leave.

Not liking the request, Hetty and Sam did as they were asked, only they moved from Callen's room to the corridor.

"Mr. Callen, I am Dr. Sharon Barrett. I'm a therapist of sorts, I wondered if you would feel comfortable talking to me?"

Callen looked up at her, a small, sardonic smile play at the corner of his mouth, "Not really." He replied, "But then, it would be less uncomfortable than this…wouldn't it?"

Sharon smiled kindly, "I promise not to bite." She replied and waited as Callen leaned back to gather his thoughts.

He sat and told her what he remembered, about how he had been incarcerated in Fulsome and had met Dallas. Telling her about how the thoughts and feelings, the whole experience had seemed incredibly real to him.

Then he had explained how Hetty had actually been present when he struck the light pole with the stolen car. How she had taken him in and helped him through to college and steered him in the right direction teaching him to trust.

"And what about Sam?" Sharon asked as Callen was starting to tire.

Callen shrugged, "He's my partner, my friend…what I felt when I woke up is starting to fade, it's not me Doc, I'm not racist. Hell, Sam's family is my family! But…it was…" He shook his head, "Could I have really been like that? Is it in me?"

Sharon smiled indulgently, "Some people are the products of their circumstances, Ms Lange was there when you needed her the most. You learned to trust, to start letting people in. You met Sam and the team and learned about family. If you had gone down the other road, maybe you would have turned out like that. After all you did tell me the racist attitude you thought as normal was learned behavior."

"Yeah, I picked it up after being attacked in Fulsome." Callen told her.

"Yet you weren't in Fulsome and you were not attacked." Sharon reminded him.

Callen nodded, "But it felt so real, what I felt for Ginny and Kaylee…"

"They didn't exist." Sharon reminded him, "But the feeling of hope, of wanting to be a part of a family that wanted you, that still persists."

"I have that…I have my team, Hetty, Sam, my...my father?" Callen looked away as the last word sounded hollow even to him.

Dr. Barrett caught it, "You are not close with your father?" she asked.

Callen shrugged, "I don't really know him, he just came into my life a few months ago. I am still trying to find my feet there." He admitted.

"What about your mother?" Sharon asked, gently prodding.

Callen shook his head, "I never knew her, she died when I was young; I was raised in the system."

Sharon nodded as she started to understand, "So the feelings of family you felt for Kaylee and Ginny were real longings?"

Callen shrugged, "I don't know, I've never really…" He trailed off, he wanted to say he never really needed a mother, it was his fallback response to that question. But maybe he was wrong, maybe his subconscious knew he needed a mother figure and a substitute for Amy, was that where Kaylee and Ginny had come from?

Sharon waited, she watched him processing the question and wondered if he would verbalize what he was thinking, some patients did and some did not. It always made things easier though when they did.

"Maybe…" Callen sighed as he lay back, his head was pounding again and he closed his eyes, hoping it would ease the pain.

"I looked through your file; around the time you were fifteen you left the system and went into a stable home environment didn't you?" She asked.

Callen nodded, "Hetty…she took me in, I worked hard, went to college and turned out ok."

"And why did you stay there as opposed to moving on like your other placements?"

He thought for a moment, what had it been about Hetty that had made him stay rather than run or go back to the system.

"She trusted me." Callen said softly.

For a moment Sharon was taken aback; in these situations, it usually transpired that the patient had learned to trust, but in Callen's case this was not what had happened.

"Excuse me?" She asked not believing what she had just heard.

"She trusted me; no one had done that before." Callen let out a small, barely audible, happy sigh. "She took me into her home, she had no expectations of me, except that I try to be more than I was, to fulfill my potential. Not once did she hurt me or..." He left the rest unsaid, but Sharon understood.

"She didn't let you down." She supplied helpfully.

Callen nodded, "She paid my way through college, supported me in my career choices, and then eventually I joined her at N…" He stopped, not knowing how much she was cleared for.

Sharon smiled, "I am cleared Mr. Callen, I know you work for the Office of Special Projects division of NCIS."

Callen nodded, he should have known that whoever he would talk to, Hetty would have cleared them first.

"He only wish was that I would find my home."

"Did you not find that as a child, living with her?" Sharon asked surprise creeping into her voice. After what Callen had described, she had assumed that they were a family unit, especially by the way Hetty had talked about him and shown her concern for him.

Callen was unable to meet her eyes for a moment. "I didn't, not because she didn't try but because I was…uncertain…about letting her in. If I had done that and had a home, I might have let go of the hope of finding my real mother someday and finding out who I was. I didn't want to betray my mother like that."

"I can understand," Sharon said, "You felt like if you let anyone into the role of Mother in your life, then if you found out who your mother was, she would resent you for it?"

Callen nodded, "But Hetty has always been there for me, looking out for my best interests and really was like a mother to me." He admitted.

Sharon smiled slightly, "And Sam?" she prodded.

For a moment Callen closed off, then he sighed, "Sam is my brother, my best friend…his family is my family, they accepted me. Just…for a few moments when I woke up I forgot that, the feelings from my dream were so real."

"Would Sam have really, in either reality hurt someone you care about?" Sharon asked.

Callen shook his head, "I don't think so, even in my dream he was trying to help me, I suppose even messed up in the head I didn't want to let go of the bond I have with him. I trust Sam, more than I have ever trusted anyone."

"Ok, that's good Callen, but I have one question…why Dallas?" Sharon asked curiously. "Why do you think you dreamt about being a part of his family."

Callen sighed, laid his head back and looked at the ceiling, "I was undercover for a while, we had to infiltrate the gang, it…they felt like family. There was this kid, Charlie…he had the same kind of start in life I did, but he didn't have Hetty, or the chances I did. I couldn't help him…he died, I should have done more. The building we were in, before it blew up, it was where Charlie died a year ago. I don't think the others remembered, but I did."

"You empathized with this young man?" Sharon asked.

"I guess." Callen replied, "Do you think Sam will forgive me, for what I said when I woke up?"

Sharon nodded, "I think he will, I think he's more worried about you than he lets on."

She looked towards the frosted glass of the door and following her gaze, Callen saw the silhouette of Sam's form pacing outside the room.

"How long have you been partners?" She asked.

Callen smiled, "Ten years, the day of the explosion."

She closed the file on her lap, "I think that's something to celebrate don't you?" she asked, "Ten years being around a real family, it is amazing if you think about it." she mused, "One small change and your life could have been just like your dream." She stopped her hand on the door handle as the was leaving, "I am very glad you never had that change, and that I got to meet you Mr. Callen."

Callen smiled, "Thank you Dr. Barrett."

She opened the door and Callen was surprised to see Sam, Hetty and the rest of the team all looking in.

"Doc, you had better let my family in, looks like they are going nuts waiting out there." Callen announced, loud enough so they could hear. His heart glowed with the warm smiles he got from them in response.

He watched as they all settled in various spots in his room, each in their own way, showing they cared by fussing around him.

Sharon Barrett had been right, he was extremely lucky that Hetty had been there that day, it was one pivotal moment in his life he would never regret.