Chapter 27

And so I've called Will's parents as he asked me to. I was by his side just holding his hand. Just looking at him with all the love and sadness in the world. We were all standing there, watching this handsome, kind-hearted, great man -my man-as he was ready to take the lethal combination that would end his life. I wasn't sure if that was just a nightmare. I was actually going to say goodbye to the man I love. To the man that changed my life.

I saw two men coming into the room. I couldn't feel more hate and despise as I felt for those two men. They were going to take Will away from me. Away from his parents. From all the people that love him. I didn't understand when it happened, but my chest was aching, I burst into tears and I passed out eventually.

I woke up fifteen minutes later, alone with Will in that room. He had asked a few minutes more with me before they would give him the lethal combination. I hugged him tight. And then it came out of nowhere:

"Will I love you so much that I can't imagine a reason for me to live a life without you. The world is not a better place without Will Traynor. You make me feel alive. And I know I make you feel alive too."

I saw him looking at me so full of love and despair at the same time and then he told me: "Oh Clark if you could only imagine how much I love you. You are scored on my heart Clark. You were from the first day you walked in with your ridiculous clothes and your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt. You changed my life so much and I love you. That's why I told Michael Lawler to set an account for me in your name. I'm giving you this not because I want you to feel indebted to me. I'm giving you this because there is not much that makes me happy anymore, but you do. Just live well Clark. Just live."

When he finished I kissed him full of tears and then I told him: "But the thing Will is that I do not want to live without you. You are my breath and I make you happy. You said so. So if it's not for you, then please live for me. You are my life. I don't want to live well. Because if you go, I will crumble Will Traynor."

"Oh Clark, I'm in pain, exhausted and I don't want to suffer by remembering my life before the accident. When I was healthy."

"But Will, you won't be suffering. You will have me. I will be with you all the way. Just please don't make the worst mistake for us both. Don't think of what you can't do physically. Think of your feelings about me."

"Clark, I wish I could. I really want to be with you, but I also know I'm not getting any better as you do. And I don't want you to stay trapped with me."

But don't you see it Will? I will be forever trapped and miserable if you go. You are a miracle to me. You are...the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. Your words. So hold on to that thought and liveeeeee."

Will's parents, Georgina and the two men were still outside...when the door opened:" I'm sorry sir but you have to tell us if you are sure you want this."

My hands were trembling as Will said: "Do come in".

They came in, his parents and Georgina behind them. Will looked at me and said: "Please think of me and smile. Do not cry. I do not want to think of you getting all maudlin. I know I will be happy where I'm going only if I can see that smile of yours. My beautiful Clark. My Clark"

I was holding his warm hands as his parents and Georgina came closer. We were all smiling at him and holding his hand. Then he told me:

"Tell me something good. Something last before I go"

Then something came into my mind as I was watching the two men waiting. So I told him:

"This life was nothing before you and the bumblebee tights you bought me. As for my life after you... well my life after you... won't exist. Because life is you...You are…my home. When we first met I asked you what do you normally do. And you answered that you don't do anything anymore. You sit. You just about exist. And then we fell in love and you were happy. You are happy with me. So I'm telling you this: If you go, then I will be the one that does nothing. I will just sit. I will just about exist."

I was hopeless but I loved him too much to quit. I suddenly heard him silently: "Damn it Clark, just damn it. How am I supposed to go if you're not ok?"

"How could I be ok Will with you dead? Just listen to yourself. Listen and remember your words: You are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. I am. So stay with me. You're not a burden to me Will. The life without you will be a burden. You're not a burden to any of us. We all love you deeply. You are a blessing and I cannot live without you. You said these six months were the best in your life. So just stay. Stay with me. If you love me don't let go"

One of the two men suddenly popped in: "Sir,are you sure you want to proceed?"

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

Will just kept staring at me: "I..."

He couldn't finish his sentence.

"I am sorry Clark. I love you too much to put you up to this. Watching me die is hard but you will have a better life my love. You just don't know it"

"Will, l want to have a beautiful life with you. I want you to keep forcing me watching movies with subtitles and reading all these books I don't know nothing about. I was dead before I met you. I am alive for the past six months and I'm going to be dead and empty again if you go. You know we can make this work. Please don't leave me. This is a fate worse than death Will. For me to stay behind missing you all the time until my last breath. I love you"

"Sir, are we going to proceed?" One of the two men was wondering.

Then all of the sudden Will's mother popped in: "Please son, I know I haven't told you or expressed how much I love you. Your father, your sister, love you very much. I love you my beautiful, perfect boy. And we have got to admit that Louisa has changed you. She is the best thing that ever happened to you as you are the best thing for her"

"Am I too late?" It was Nathan

"What are you doing here Nate?" Will asked

"Well I caught up the last flight and I thought I was too late. Where do you think you're going Will? Lou the love of your life is here. Don't leave her. And if you go do you think I wouldn't say goodbye? It's up to you Will. What's going to happen? But come on mate. I'm begging you here. Louis your woman, your love and I am your friend. And your family... You don't get to decide about our lives too. You're in pain but medically speaking, I'm telling you...We can manage this. "

"Besides, I would love having you for dinner one more time. It's been a while!" I looked up and there they were. My mom and my dad.

"Oh my God " I said...

Nathan looked at Will and me: "Well I forgot to mention that I didn't come alone"

Will's eyes were full of tears and then my dad stepped in: "Will I can tell you this. I could see in that dinner on Lou's birthday how you two were looking at each other. I could see epic love in your eyes"

I popped in: "You only get one life Will. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible. So live with me. Our love is the one thing that can make our lives fulfilled"

And then it was Georgina who stepped in: "Listen brother. I know you always thought I hated you. But how could I? I love you. Please give me the chance to be the sister you deserve"

Mr. Traynor said: "Will give us all the chance to make you see that this wheelchair doesn't have to be your misery. We love you son. Lou loves you no matter what" His voice was trembling.

Will turned to me, his fingers in mine. "I am stupid. I told you I was in pain by remembering my life before the accident. But I realized I suffer more by remembering of how my life was before you. Me before you was just a man who was physically healthy. But after you, with you I am actually ALIVE. So Clark can you escort these two gentleman outside? I won't need their services after all."

"I will happily do it" my dad said.

"Come over here" Will said to me. And he kissed me so deeply in front of everyone. "You don't know how happy you made me Traynor" I told him smiling and he smiled back at me.

We were all hugging him and hugging at each other. We couldn't believe what just happened.

"Clark"...

"You are an impossible man Traynor"

"But you can't live without me"

"No I can't and I don't want to. Not ever"

"Neither do I Clark. I love you. I'll always will"

"Come on mate" Nathan said "Let's get you out of here"

We sat there for a minute before we go staring at each other full of happiness and love between us. And then he told me:

"Will you move in with me Clark to the annex?"

"You're stuck with me. So yes Will. Yes. I...LOVE YOUUU"

"I love you my bumble bee girl" We kissed again.

So we were all heading back to England, back to the annex away from this place. I am finally getting starting a happy life, a perfect life with Will!