Luminescence

"There is the part of us that fears and protects

And defends and expects,

And has a story of the way it is supposed to turn out.

That part clenches in fear, feels cursed and abandoned."

-Even In The Struggle

Sabrina sighed and pushed the math away. Quadratic functions and expressions swirled around in her head. She groaned, cursing her teacher who had thought giving homework over winter break would be a good present to her students. It didn't help that she was missing a page.

Sabrina was particularly annoyed because usually the algorithmic process of math made sense to her, but it certainly didn't help that since 6th grade she'd been playing catch up.

Four years since the defeat of the Scarlet Hand and she was still having left over trouble from them and their errant parent stealing.

Nevertheless, it wasn't fair that she had to have this much work-she'd already had to write a five page essay from English-especially since she was in Ferryport Landing for the holidays.

Sabrina hadn't seen Relda for months, and Uncle Jake for even longer.

And there was Puck, of course.

But Sabrina would never admit that she missed him. She refused to grant him the pleasure.

Sabrina moaned again. Why did she have to think of him? Now nothing sounded better than seeing him. It didn't help to think that as he aged he was getting better looking, and dare she say, more mature? (Any progress was all definitely thanks to her Uncle, praise him.)

"No." she muttered to the silent room, burying her head into a pillow, her clock ticking in the background.

"Absolutely not." she said, even as she got up and out of her bed. You've only seen him once since he got here, her teasing mind mocked.

Once was correct, and saying their reunion was short was generous. Although, surprisingly, that wasn't because of his lack of tact this time.

When Uncle Jake and Puck had arrived that morning, she had answered the door, (not because she was waiting for them or anything) and Jake had given her a quick hug and I comment about how much older she looked. She had then turned to Puck, unsure of what she expected. He grinned sleepily at her, waved, then yawned.

"Stinkpot," he greeted. Sabrina found that she couldn't even be annoyed at him using her sobriquet for him over the disappointed feeling curling in her gut. Some things, it seemed, never changed.

Uncle Jake smiled sheepishly at Sabrina.

"Sorry, 'Brina. He's been flying us here for hours, which is a fast way to travel, but taxing for him."

Sabrina nodded and ushered the two travelers inside the warm house, away from the cold that was starting to chill her through her clothes.

Jake shouldered off his heavy jacket to reveal his usual many-pocketed overcoat.

Puck yawned again, stretching, glancing in the direction of the niece and uncle. "I'm going to go crash, if you guys don't mind."

Sabrina thought that he looked like he might fall over right there, but instead he made his way to the stairs, ruffling her hair with a soft smile as he passed her. Her ribs started to ache.

It was stupid things he did like that that kept her from ever getting over him.

Even if she hadn't seen him in person for a while.

Sabrina wasn't sure how or when or how he did it, but as promised he had still harassed her through her middle school years. He'd put nasty things into her bed, dyed her hair a rainbow of colors, and had done a million other things that drove her crazy. All kinds of shenanigans.

Then sometime between fourteen and fifteen, the pranks were mixed with notes. Silly things, and occasionally, if she was lucky, she'd get one with a Puck-like compliment. She'd kept every one. If anyone found out (Puck included), she would be mortified. Maybe that was why every second they spent together, face to face, she cherished.

Honestly, she was such a sap.

Sabrina couldn't say she was surprised by her automatic actions, her body already tugging her away. She pulled a hoodie over her pajamas-those being a tank top and knee length shorts. She stuck her head out of her door, feeling almost guilty like she was doing something she shouldn't. (And, if she was honest, this probably did indeed go against one of Henry's many rules about boys.)

As she crept down the hallway, she could hear the laughter of her family downstairs. She had been with them for a good while before she had left because of her own fatigue and her need to finish her homework.

Now here she was, not doing either of the things she had claimed she needed.

Sabrina opened his door carefully and peered inside, and seeing there was no visible traps, she walked in. His room still made her jaw drop, and as her feet carried her across the room, she looked up at the sky full of twinkling stars. In her reverie, she didn't notice the paper until she stepped on it. At the distinct crinkling sound she reached down and picked up the random sheet, finding that it was covered in solved equations. She squinted at it, and started. This was her missing paper! How could it of possibly found its' way into Puck's room? And become miraculously finished?

She quickly made her way to Puck's sleeping space, a full sized trampoline. Puck was sleeping soundly, and probably could well into the next week. Sabrina was mildly disappointed that he didn't have his little stuffed unicorn.

Not because it was adorable, obviously. She wanted to finally get a picture. (And she did not want it just so she could have an excuse to look at him.)

On the grass to the side there was a pile of unusually neat papers on top of a book.

Sabrina walked over and scrutinized the offending discrepancy. If she had thought that her math was hard, this stuff blew her right out of the water to the next continent. She could recognize the rough yet sloping penmanship as Puck's.

"It's not nice to go through people's things." his sneering voice startled her. She dropped the papers, sending them fluttering to the ground. She scooped them up and quickly turned to face him, shaking them at his face. "What's up with this? This is like college level trigonometry."

Puck rolled his eyes and stretched luxuriously while sitting up, managing to exude royalty even in his tired state.

"Calculus, actually."

"What?" she squeaked, incredulous. He leaned over and rubbed his eyes, ignoring her current confusion.

"What're you doing here, Grimm?" Puck asked tiredly, still trying to wake up.

She blinked at him, momentarily distracted. "Since when have you been such a sleeper?"

"I was flying all night, lest you forget, pus-brain."

"Yeah, but it's been all day, Puck. It's well into the evening now."

Puck glowered at her, pouting. "Jake says it's another phase of the puberty virus."

Sabrina sighed and shook her head, knowing that that argument was a losing battle, she used her new ammunition. "So Stinkpot, want to tell me why you have calculus in your room?" She jumped onto the trampoline to wave it once more in his face. Puck seemed to finally snap awake as he realized what he'd said. He blushed deeply and lunged at her while she grinned.

"No reason!-Give that back!"

She held it tantalizingly just out of his reach. She laughed at his efforts. "Don't tell me that you're actually doing that stuff for fun."

He didn't answer, but the way he sat back and turned redder told her everything.

"That's hilarious!" she giggled.

"You can't tell the family, it'll sully my already tarnished reputation!" he cried.

Sabrina smirked and leaned in close to him, and gained an unworldly amount of satisfaction from the way his eyes flickered like a cornered rabbit.

"Oh, and why should I do that?" she all but purred.

Puck looked like he was about to give a scathing retort, but his expression dissolved into confusion as he glanced down at her attire. "Are you wearing one of my hoodies?" he questioned, half of him trying to change the subject, the other half truly curious.

Sabrina's grin fell, and she tugged at the garment self-consciously, but she managed to give him an annoyed glare.

Her response was quick, "Do you know how hard it is to find good hoodies for girls? No matter where you go, it's a nightmare. They're practically asking for girls to steal their boyfriend's clothes." She'd said the retaliation so fast, it took her a moment to realize what she had implied. She felt her cheeks flush brilliantly, but Puck just laughed, glad to be in control again.

"You honestly still get embarrassed? We're practically engaged, in case you forgot."

"Oh, so what? You're completely immune to any teasing about our relationship now?" Sabrina's cheeks still burned.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Heck no, I'm usually in denial. Jake is always trying to live out his love life vicariously through me." He winked infuriatingly, "As if I have one."

"I wasn't aware that your brain was even big enough for the word vicarious." she muttered. Puck's eyes glinted with hurt but he shrugged like it didn't matter. Sabrina's skin prickled. For some reason she felt like she had crossed a line.

After a pause she jumped off of her sanity train. "You're actually smarter than I give you credit for, I mean, this stuff would probably stump my parents." she said, implying the calculus work. He looked away uncomfortably.

"Not really." he mumbled. Sabrina stared at him for moment, unsure of what to do, because since when did he not take one of her compliments and shove it back in her face?

She punched him in the arm, hard.

"Ow! What was that for?" Puck exclaimed jumping away, rubbing the offended limb.

"For never helping with my math work." she snorted, folding her arms.

"You never asked!"

"Well you never revealed yourself to be some sort of savant." she returned. He gaped at her like a fish.

"I am not a servant! I," he said with a flourish, "am a King." she smiled to herself. That's more like it.

"Not servant, savant, it means you're intelligent." He frowned, his expression turning muddled and brooding once more.

"You're saying that again, but how can I be a so called 'savant' if I didn't even know what it meant?" she narrowed her eyes at him and poked him hard in the ribs, and he yelped. He glared at her, clearly not happy about all the abuse she was giving him.

"Are you sure you're Puck? The Puck I know wouldn't say anything self-deprecating."

He crossed his arms and huffed. "I don't know how any of this is self-decapitating, but trust me, if it was anyone else, I wouldn't be." Sabrina didn't even get a chance to process the fuzzy feeling that his words had started within her as he started once more, a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"Although, self-decapitation would be quite the sentence for a criminal, don't you think?" He gave her a look like he really wanted her opinion on the matter. Sabrina rolled her eyes.

"You're impossible." she muttered.

He grinned broadly, "I aim to please."

Sabrina was suddenly struck with how easy this was, to pass back and forth their banter. No one she knew now or ever was able to keep up this line with her. Their relationship was ineffable and complicated, but Sabrina thought at that moment that she loved it more than she could express. Even if sometimes he made her want to pull her hair out.

The quiet of the night pressed in around them, shouldering the space between the two that used to be filled with adventures of younger days and laughter-and a whole lot of arguing if Sabrina remembered correctly. She sighed and grabbed one of his hands. She found that she wasn't quite sure why, but it just felt right for the next thing she wanted to say. He didn't pull away.

"Puck, is something wrong?"

He turned to her mockingly and easily squirmed out of answering. "Why don't you tell me why you came here first. Then maybe I'll tell you."

Sabrina gave him a deadpan look. "Maybe because you've been dead to the world for the whole day? I don't want a corpse in the house. According to Goldie, that's bad feng shui."

"Hmm," he hummed, then gave her a mischievous smile, "Or maybe you just couldn't go another moment out of my royal presence." Sabrina stuck her tongue out at him childishly.

"As if, freak baby."

He grinned rather handsomely at her. "Then why, pray tell, are you still holding my hand?" Puck emphasized this by running his thumb along her knuckles. Sabrina shivered, embarrassed to admit even to herself that such a simple action had sent such powerful tremors down her spine.

But Puck had never been a simple boy to her, had he? No matter how hard she fought against the gradient of fate he was always there, a stubborn fixture in her life.

"You wish." she tried to snarl, but it came out more like a lover's sigh.

He smirked roguishly, wanting to capture the look on her face in his memory.

However, their moment ended as Sabrina pulled her hand back and cradled it to her chest like she'd been burned.

"Alright, own up fairy boy. What's wrong?" her voice was tight, but concerned.

Sabrina could tell that her words had caused him to retreat internally, but as the quiet dragged on, Puck spoke softly to the still air.

"My father's death has passed us again."

Sabrina instantly felt guilty. She hadn't thought of the old king for a long time.

"Do you...do you miss him?" Sabrina asked tentatively, but Puck sighed and shook his head.

"No I don't. But should I?" he accused, looking up at the fabricated sky.

"When the pixies first told me that he'd died, a large part of me had wanted to be...happy, but I wasn't-yes I was relieved, but-" he shuddered, "Let me start over. Oberon was horrible to me for centuries. He was always reminding me that I wasn't worth the dirt on his boots. I was told constantly that I was stupid. I've always tried to prove him wrong." He nodded at the forgotten papers. "Maybe that's why I picked those up. That's how humans show their intelligence, yes? By learning things like that?"

He sighed and ruffled his already disheveled hair. "That's the kind of stuff my dad taught me to do-balance taxes, adult stuff." Puck laughed hollowly, "All he did was drive the nails deeper into my conviction. I would never grow up."

His next words were painfully bitter, "Now look at me, I'm aging. Just like he wanted." If Puck had been anybody else, Sabrina suspected that they would've burst into tears. But not him. He had more self-control than anyone was willing to admit.

Sabrina looked at the ground, feeling more like a jerk than she had in years. "Puck, I'm-" he didn't let her finish, shaking his head.

"Jake convinced me to go visit Faerie on the anniversary, to see my mother. After we finally convinced her that it was me, she practically had a heart attack. When Jake told her how old I was, it only got worse." He gazed at her, eyes hard. "Sixteen is a very important age to fairies, it's a coming of age. Kind of like how you humans in America say it's eighteen."

Sabrina remembered a day not so long ago that she hadn't gotten any note or prank from Puck. Her shallow heart had assumed that it was because he was too far away, but really, it seemed, he had been closer than ever. And hurting beyond belief while she'd went on with her safe, happy life.

"Is your mother going to try and get you engaged again?" Sabrina burst out, and instantly covered her mouth. She'd never heard her voice sound so upset. He quirked a grin at her and chuckled-small and light, but real nonetheless.

"Thankfully, no." he started, but added ruefully, "But she's giving me a deadline for coming back to be the King." He flicked a piece of dirt off of the trampoline.

She tried to hide her apparent relief. "Well then, I guess you're going to have to grow up a little more, Stinkpot."

Puck flashed her a glinting grin in the dark. "You said something like that to me when I was healing in the fairy cocoon."

Sabrina blushed once more. "I didn't know you could hear me."

He laughed, "I'm pretty sure that was the point of you saying all of that gushy stuff to me."

Sabrina looked at the ground through the fibers of the mesh that made their resting spot, unable to join in his humor.

Her next whisper betrayed a vulnerability that no one was supposed to know she had. "What are we, Puck? Every time I'm sure I know, it's like we change. We talk like friends, hate like enemies, and deny and deny. We say never all the time, and we fight against everything that spells out the obvious."

Puck gazed up at her and gave her a look that was half-shocked, half-impressed. He took in a deep breath to proceed his next words.

"But that's the thing, Grimm. We tell ourselves all the time that we'll never do something, but life ends up surprising us...Especially love." Puck looked like the word left a bad taste in his mouth, but he forged on.

"Do you remember what Charming said at Mr. Seven's wedding? He said that it was terribly inconvenient. He was right. This sucks. I don't want to face change because it's terrifying in the worst possible ways."

Sabrina stared unabashedly at Puck. Had he really just said that-poured out a portion of his closely guarded mind? Had he really in some roundabout way confessed that he was in love?

Puck stared right back at her, the two never realizing that their breath stirred the air in the same rhythm, the same beat.

He choked a little bit, "Uh, can we pretend I didn't say that?"

Sabrina smiled softly, red dusting her cheeks. "Yeah, sure fairy boy. I wouldn't want to mess up your reputation anymore."

He grinned and let out a grateful breath. "Thanks. And about the math-"

Sabrina laughed and cut him off. "Yeah, yeah, Stinkpot. I won't tell anybody your secret. But seriously, you don't have to learn stuff like that to prove that you're smart."

Puck gave her a smile-yes, a smile. Not a smirk, nor a grin. But a simple, kind smile, and it lit up his face in a entirely new way.

However, he broke the moment-or perhaps made it sweeter-as he yawned, eyes drawn. Sabrina tilted her head, marveling at this strange boy who was turning into a man.

"I suppose I should go to sleep." she murmured. Puck yawned again and shrugged, glancing around at the trampoline.

"As long as you don't get all cuddly with me, Grimm."

"What?" she yelped, scrambling away from their completely shattered moment. Puck proceeded to roar with laughter, downright cackling, right up until he was cut off with yet another yawn.

"You're just too fun to tease, dogface. Go on, go sleep in your bed and try to not think of me too much."

Sabrina grumbled as she slid off of his trampoline, unsure if she should be happy or sad that their balance had been restored. At least he wasn't depressed any more, even if it was at her expense.

She swallowed, nearly taking her words down with it.

"I wasn't lying earlier, Gasbag. You really are intelligent, no matter what anybody has said to you in the past. Even me."

As he watched her retreating form, Puck couldn't help but tell her the last thought on his mind, too. He glanced up at the stars.

"You know, maybe being King won't be so bad." he said lightly. "After all, I'll be closer to you."

Sabrina stopped moving for a moment, her breath caught securely in her throat.

He then tacked on, "It will definitely make messing with you so much easier."

Puck bit his lip, wondering if she would react. It wasn't until she glanced back at him from his door, eyes shining with the other half of their secret that he knew that some things could change.

For the better.

Sabrina all but ran as she stole her way back into her room, settling carefully on her bed. The clock went on ticking as she thought of their conversation, their history. In all of the time Sabrina had known Puck, she would've never thought him to be wise. But life kept surprising her.

Though Puck wasn't just wise, he was brilliant.

He was luminescent.

.-.-.-.

I don't know what happened. This was supposed to just be a cute 'Sabrina finds out Puck loves math' story. Not some deep conversation between them. Because seriously, Puck is really smart and intelligent and I feel like sometimes that's really glossed over.

But anyway, fun fact: I told myself when I was younger that I would never cut my hair short or wear shorts. I now have both of those things in my life and love them. Growing up is weird.