Naginata, naginata, where was it?!

Her hands shook as she searched within the small confines of her room. The poled spear was nowhere to be seen, and she became frantic, her breathing became rapid, and her eyes darting everywhere looking for a weapon, any weapon.

Hinata-sama, a woman's life is very difficult.

She went into her closet, throwing the contents out as she heard a piercing screech, she choked out a sob her hands continuing to shake as she felt powerless. Her body froze as she tried to gather herself, but she could not stop herself and the wetness in her eyes became a steady stream. Her people continued to scream, smoke from the fire filled her nostrils and she felt faint. Her people were dying, their lives ending, while barely she stood, a feeble mess.

The kaiken. Realization dawned upon her as she ran to the opposite side, looking beneath her sleeping mat to find the dagger her cousin had gifted her so long ago.

Sometimes, when circumstances are necessary, we feel powerless. We feel as if there is nothing left, and sometimes that is the case but we always have a way.

She knew that it was time, she knew that right now, it was a essential.

Men must ensure victory,

Her hands continued to fumble more and more and her vision became blurry and she realized that it was her own selfishness that was slowing her down.

but women must ensure their own victory

Her mind wracked with the necessity of the situation, all the teachings that had prepared her for this moment returning as she sat in her position, beside the window, away from the wall, the obi she found in her closet she used to tie her legs. Her movements were slurred, and again she had to remind herself, to push herself to complete this task because it was required.

Her people, she thought and her fear faltered, and one crack was enough to let determination slowly seep through. She was their beloved, she was theirs and they were hers. They were her air and she was their moon.

The protection of their home.

The protection of their children.

The kaiken was raised to her neck, and her hands continued to drift closer to her jugular vein without her consent as she prepared to do the imminent.

And most important, the protection of their pride.

She took a breath, and her hands slowed down as realization was become more and more clear and acceptance was more and more welcomed. She closed her eyes, and noticed that despite being temporary, this darkness would get her accustomed to what was to follow after her actions.

For greater things we as women must sacrifice even if it doesn't seem fair. It is required from us because we are more powerful, we can withstand anything.

"Do not let my death be pointless."

White eyes shone against the blackness and her eyes darted opened while she gasped for air. Tears were flowing freely down her face as she sat there, shocked and disappointed. Shouting was heard by her door and she felt the anxiety within her build up, and the hopelessness of her situation strengthening. Her cousin's voice rung within her head again, and she clutched it, tears streaming with more force. She didn't know what to do, her resolve broke with confusion and she berated herself for not being able to accomplish a singular task. However, her cousin's kind and stern eyes were etched into her memory while his voice tried to sway her from her current intent with past memories.

His calculating yet quiet voice was comparatively softer when he spoke to her, "I had no faith in you, yet now I know you are stronger than most because you are kind. When you are kind, life gifts you wholeness, graciousness, and protection. And do not forget... I am here, but most important of all, you are here for yourself and you are far more capable than you lead yourself to believe."

His voice became louder, drowning out any other distractions and, finally, her hands slowly went slack. Her heart rate, everything about her became peaceful, matching the blowing breeze when he had spoken, much like the gentle chimes of her mother's voice Hinata seldom could remember.

"Live my daughter, because there is a strength within you."

She untied the obi from her legs and the voices outside grew louder yet she remained impassive. Real, true resolve began to form and she knew that the calm that settled within her heart right now was all she needed for her people, her family, and herself.

Protecting your pride is more than giving up, because woman must endure.

But, you mustn't forget, protecting your pride means to show your strength however you wish.

Hinata waited.

So, have strength because you are made to withstand anything.

The door was pulled open and Hinata closed her eyes.

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! So here's one of the new stories I was rambling about in my other story haha (I should probably not start a new story when I already suck at updating but here I am!). I'm a huge history junkie and I love historical fiction, so I decided to play around and post something along those lines! This was inspired strongly by the Onna-bugeisha that lived in premodern Japan (and used Naginata and Kaiken to fight haha), as well as the act of Jigai (female suicide) which was also very common during the Samurai era of Japan. Jigai was done for many reasons, one of them to prevent rape when there's an imminent military loss. That's the reason I was aiming for, and that's what Hinata was about to do, if there was any confusion.

You're also wondering why it's Hinata of Takigakure and that'll be explained later (I think soon). Speaking of Takigakure, although this is heavily inspired by Kamakura Period of Japan, I didn't want it to seem too much like a history lesson which is why I still kept the Naruto-verse villages.

I've also written the next two chapters so the next updates will also be faster! I'm really excited for this, it's my second fic and it's cool to be writing something different. Don't be afraid to drop a review and see y'all next time!