Summary: There aren't many things that can scare the Fullmetal Alchemist, and unfortunately, spiders are one of them. But how did this fear come to be in the first place? One-shot.

Something poking him on the shoulder disturbed five-year-old Edward Elric's sleep. He groaned in annoyance, flipped over on his stomach, and shoved his pillow over his head, protecting it from the intruder. He knew exactly who was trying to rouse him, and he also knew that he would rather sleep on than get up.

"Brother, are you awake?" Edward's little brother by one year, Alphonse, whispered, and he poked Edward on the shoulder again. "Ed?"

"It's too early, Al," Ed muttered. "Go back to bed."

"I'm going to," Alphonse said slowly, "but...but there's...there's…"

Edward poked his head from under the pillow and frowned. Alphonse looked terrified, raising a shaking finger to point towards the corner of their shared bedroom.

"There's what?" Edward asked, even though he already had a pretty good idea.

"A spider," said Alphonse gravely.

Yep, knew it, Edward thought, and he sighed. "Can't you just step on it yourself, Al?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound as exasperated as he felt.

Alphonse squeaked in terror and shook his head. "No way!" he said as loudly he could without waking their mother downstairs. "It's creepy, Brother! I don't like it! It wants to eat me!"

Edward sighed. "Okay," he finally relented, knowing there was no going back to sleep for either of them until the spider was taken care of. He got up out of bed, and Alphonse wasted no time in grabbing his wrist and leading him over to the spider.

When they got close enough, Alphonse jumped and hid behind Edward, using him as a human shield. Edward, meanwhile, frowned, eyes scanning the wall. "Where is it?" Edward questioned.

"There!" said Alphonse, pointing. "Don't you see it?"

Edward squinted. "That little thing?" he said. "You're scared of that?"

"Brother!" Alphonse cried. "Just kill it already!"

"Fine, whatever."

One stomp later, and the spider was taken care of. Edward sighed in exasperation while Alphonse sighed in relief.

"Can you go back to sleep now?" Edward asked, dragging himself back to bed.

Alphonse nodded firmly. "I think I can," he said. "Thank you, Brother."

"No problem."

…

Edward never understood his little brother's fear. After all, spiders were helpless compared to a shoe or a book, depending on which was closer. Sure, spiders were unnatural-looking with eight legs, and Edward later figured out that they had eight eyes as well (something that horrified his little brother when Edward passed on the information).

But Edward never understood it.

Until they attempted human transmutation, and their spirits became tangled.

…

Alphonse Elric, now nothing more than a soul attached to a suit of armor, was sitting on the couch of their rented apartment in Central, reading one of the many Alchemy books his older brother picked up from the library.

The day was mostly peaceful.

Mostly.

Until...

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream came from the bedroom, loud and long, and Alphonse immediately leapt from his seat, book long forgotten, because he recognized the voice behind the scream. Fearing the worst (because his big brother never screamed like that), he tore into the bedroom and looked around wildly, expecting attackers or some other danger.

But there was nothing. Alphonse didn't even know where his older brother was. He looked around, searching, but nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Brother?" Alphonse called. "Where are you?"

"ALPHONSE, GET OUT OF THE WAY! IT'S RIGHT THERE!"

That was definitely Edward's voice, and it definitely came from within the room, but oddly enough, it sounded like it came from...above.

Alphonse looked up, following the voice.

Edward was cowering on top of the large wardrobe, pointing wildly at the ground near Alphonse, eyes wide with fear. The wardrobe was at least eight feet tall (ridiculous for a wardrobe, yes, but true).

"Brother!?" Alphonse blurted. "How did you even get up there!?"

"Who cares!?" Edward snapped back. "Just get out of the way! It's coming for you, Al!"

"What's coming for me?" Alphonse looked around again. There weren't many things that scared his brother, so this must have been serious -

"THE SPIDER!" Edward shouted.

- Or, maybe not so serious after all.

Alphonse sighed. Okay. At least it wasn't something serious. "Where's the spider?" he asked.

"Right there!" Edward said, pointing again. "Right there! It's coming towards you! ALPHONSE!"

Al finally looked down. The spider wasn't even as big as a coin, and it crept across the floor on its unnatural-looking eight legs. Now Al was finally coming to realize just how Edward felt, when Al was the one scared of spiders.

"Are you honestly afraid of that thing, Brother?" Al asked.

"YES!" Edward shouted back, like it was obvious. "Kill it! Killitkillitkillitkillit! It's going to destroy us both if we let it live! I'm sure it has friends! It's only a matter of time before it sends in reinforcements! Kill it!"

As funny as it was to watch his fearless big brother cower at the sight of a spider smaller than his pinky finger, Alphonse also understood the irrational, inexplainable fear and remembered all the times Edward destroyed spiders for his little brother's sake. So, in the end, Alphonse finally relented and stepped on the spider.

"There," Alphonse said. "It's gone."

Edward swallowed and looked down. "Are you sure?" he questioned.

"I'm sure," said Alphonse, moving towards the wardrobe. "Honestly, Brother...it was just a spider."

"Oh yeah!?" Edward retorted. "That's just what they want you to think! Yes, the spiders want you to think they're all innocent and harmless but just you wait! Those eight-legged grim reapers are just waiting for their opportunity to destroy you!"

"Eight-legged grim reapers?"

"YES."

"Well, it's gone now," Alphonse said. "You can come down."

Edward opened his mouth, shut it, and then lowered his head. "...Um...I hate to say it," he said quietly, "but...I don't think I know how to get down."

Alphonse sighed. "Only you, Brother," he said. "Only you."

"And I'm sleeping outside just in case its friends find out what we did to it and come to eat us."

"Brother!"

…

BONUS:

"Daddy, it's gross!" Edward's daughter shrieked, pointing, horrified, at the small spider perched innocently on the wall. Edward's son, the older of his two children, was also hiding behind his father with his little sister, staring at the spider in terror.

"Don't worry, kids," Edward said, holding a three-foot-long fly swatter in his hand, used only for situations like this. He looked back and forth, from his son to his daughter, grinning. Even if he himself was terrified of spiders, he would always crush them for his children, who seemed to have inherited his fear.

His son suddenly gasped loudly and pointed. "Look!" he cried.

Edward looked back at the wall.

The spider was gone.

…

"Say goodbye to the house, Winry!" Edward called to his wife, heading into the living room of their house with his son and daughter following closely. "We're moving out! Right now!"

Author's Notes:

For the record, I am not afraid of spiders, but I know a lot of people who are, so I thought it'd be funny to write something like this. And it's kind of funny to imagine Edward hiding on top of a wardrobe...I dunno, I thought it was funny. :)

Anyways, just to make sure everyone gets it: Alphonse was afraid of spiders. Edward was not. After the human transmutation when their spirits became entwined, Alphonse's fear of spiders was transferred to Edward. So now Edward is afraid of spiders, and Alphonse is not.

And I had more fun writing the ending scene than anything else. Seeing a spider isn't a problem; it becomes a problem when it disappears. XD

I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot! I know it's short and all, but I hope you liked it anyways! :D Thanks for reading! :D And you can always drop me a review if you want; my email gets lonely sometimes. XD

Cheers! ("Oh snap, snap! Spark, spark! It's time to light up the diggy-diggy dark!")

-BeyondTheClouds777