CHAPTER 1: BARFLY

I loved you then
I love you now
So make me laugh
For an hour
Then rip me off
High as a cloud
And leave that taste
In my mouth

- Catfish and the Bottlemen: Oxygen

-X- BPOV -X-

I inhaled deeply, squeezed my lips shut, and waited. Maybe if I pretend to be asleep she'll go away.

"Oh stop it Bella," Alice stomped her foot. "We've waited ages for this gig, and I had Jazzy pull some serious strings to get us this show. So come on."

I let out the air I'd been holding in. Don't get me wrong – I live for these intimate shows, and seeing my favourite artists performing only a few metres away from me was indescribable. But this one was different and I couldn't help but think the night was going to turn out horrible.

I opened my eyes to see Alice looking at me expectantly. "Fine, I'll put on the outfit and I'll come with you. But don't expect me to enjoy myself," I pouted at her now smiling face.

"Ah Bella! I have a feeling this show is going to be something different entirely. Like an off-the-scale special!" she squealed and pulled me up from the bed.

I hope you're right Alice, I really do.

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45 minutes later we arrived at 'Barfly'. Alice's fiancé and one of my best friends, Jasper, owned the music venue, and managed to get one of his high-school mate's band to perform here tonight. Ellipsis was one of the hottest bands in the charts right now: a reason why I wasn't ecstatic to see them like Alice was. Obviously I enjoyed their music and listened to their live videos on YouTube, but I wasn't sure why they were playing such a small venue when they could easily sell out the O2.

Another major reason was the lead. The amount of groupies that followed them because of him was ridiculous, and I never understood the obsession with him.

I mean yes he was gorgeous, and yes his voice was like honey and roughness with a sprinkle of a heavenly-blessing from the gods themselves … but he was just a person who created the music, and the music is all everyone should care about. Ugh the way media handled artists really did get on my wick.

The lights dimmed and I was brought out of my mind-rambling.

"BELLS THIS IS IT OMG OMG OMG LOOK IT'S HAPPENING NOW!" Alice shouted in my ear as the drummer of the band came on stage.

I laughed with her and squeezed her hand in mine. "Breathe darlin, breathe."

Despite my previous hesitation, the giddy atmosphere of the crowd was contagious. Ali had somehow managed to weave our way to the front and now we were right at the bar.

Suddenly I was pushed up against said bar, and the people began to go nuts. I felt Ali dig her fingers into my hand as the lead came out onto the stage with an acoustic guitar slung lazily over his torso.

I held my breath.

He came to the front of the centre stage, where I could see his beat-up Doc Martens. I smirked and shuffled my own Doc-clad feet.

He was different than I imagined. He wore black skinny jeans which clung to his long legs, and a plain white t-shirt. The many material festival bracelets reflected my own, and disarray of hair atop his head was enhanced by the stage lights.

There was a buzz of excitement. I realised he was speaking into the mic and focused on his words.

" …say a huge cheers to everyone for coming out tonight. We don't get to play such intimate venues anymore at the risk of disappointing our fans," he smirked and shifted his guitar. "So when my long-time friend asked me to play here tonight, I immediately took the opportunity – take out set back to the basics, you know?"

I watched him as he spoke more about the songs the band was going to play. The way his lips and jaw moved, and the way he ran his hand through his hair – as if nervous – made me realise why so many teenage girls followed him.

He was intoxicating to listen and look at.

But you're not that girl, Bella.

I shook my head and realised why I knew this wasn't a good idea.

He's famous and gorgeous and could get any girl he wants; you're a plain girl who just finished medical school and has a screwed-up past – the only reason he'd want you is to play out his 'Naughty Nurse' fantasy.

Before I knew it, they had played most of their set, with only two songs left to go. I must admit that their music was so refreshing and honest, you couldn't not enjoy yourself. But every time he sang, my eyes drifted back to him. The way his muscles flexed under his tight t-shirt every time he strummed the guitar. The veins that came out in his neck when he strained to sing a more challenging note.

And sometimes, I could have sworn we made eye-contact.

But stuff like that only happens in books and movies – this is the real world.

A part of me hoped nevertheless that there might be something there – I mean who wouldn't? Girl goes to gig, singer sees her in crowd and they fall madly in love, and the rest is history.

But that thought came to a screeching halt when I saw him wave and blow a kiss to someone at the back of the venue.

Of course he has a girlfriend. You'd be stupid to think otherwise.

My chest constricted, and I felt a pain that had been alien to me since I was young: jealousy.

I had to get out of here or I'd embarrass myself. Motioning to Alice that I was too hot and going to get a drink, I found my way out through the commotion of people.

I made my way over to the bar. Good thing Embry was working tonight, I needed something strong but wouldn't kill me tomorrow morning.

"Hey Bells!" Embry grinned. "You enjoying it tonight?"

"Eh," I shrugged nonchalantly. I didn't feel like spilling all my problems to him tonight. "Can I have an Embry-special please? I have an afternoon shift tomorrow."

"Gotcha Bells," he winked and started prepare my drink.

After thanking Embry and promising to chat soon, I grabbed my drink and weaved between the people towards the back entrance of the bar. Alice knew that's where I always went if things got too much inside the venue, and no one else ever came out here apart from the bands' techies bringing in their equipment.

I sighed as the cool London air hit my face and neck, and all felt alright again. I sat down on the step just outside the venue door, with the drink cooling my hands. The wind chilled me skin, but not enough to make me shiver.

I don't know how long I sat there, but I heard Ellipsis finish their set and the DJ start playing music to carry on the party until morning as per.

I always gave Alice about 20 minutes to find Jasper and say her 'goodbye', and she'd come back here to find me so we could head home. She decided that she wouldn't move out from our apartment yet, until I could find a roommate and she approved of her or him. I tried to tell her she was being silly and needed to move in with her fiancé but she was insistent and threatened to buy me a cat as a roommate if I didn't drop it. I hate cats.

The door behind creaked under its weight as it was pushed opened.

Time to go home.

"Sorry I had to leave Ali, but I couldn't take another minute at the barrier," I started to get up a brush of my jeans from the dirt of the step. "Told you I didn't want to see them – It just got too much so I hope you don't mind I had to slip out."

"Well I'm gutted you had to leave," I froze. Shit. That definitely wasn't Alice. "But I am curious as to the reason you had to make a quick escape in the middle of the set?"

Holy shit.

This is not happening.

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Hey everyone!

So I'm back with a different story:-) This one is based more on personal experience and feelings, and so far it's so much more fun to write ... so i hope you guys enjoy it!

Let me know if I should continue with it or if you find it too boring :D

Much love to everyone as always,

Mimi xoxo