The sky was a pinkish purple that was slowly turning to a deep blue night. It reflected easily off the calm water washing up on the beach in front of the temple. It was breathtaking. Lapis Lazuli had gotten to a point in her life where the ocean… well it wasn't so bad anymore. She didn't feel anxious or get flashbacks from her time stuck down there like she used to, in fact she found solace in water again. She'd come to terms with enough to make it a comfort like it was before.

She wasn't often at Beach City's shore as she spent most of her time at the barn with Peridot or the land around it but she had spent the day with Steven and found herself drawn to the beach again once she had finished. Deciding that she ought to take the opportunity to watch the sun set over the sea.

Lapis felt an easy smile grace her lips, she tended to be a big ball of stress, that kind of was who she was, but right now everything seemed to be at peace. It was nice. To be honest she was waiting for everything to go horribly wrong, given her track record it wasn't exactly unjustified to think that way.

Steven had gone inside to get ready to sleep as humans do and Lapis still wasn't really up to hanging around the gems without Steven as a buffer. Amethyst wasn't so bad, she was different than the other two, but it still was an awkward experience. Forgiving them was one thing and she'd done just that, but being at ease with them was a completely different issue.

As the blue gem pondered this she felt someone's presence behind her, judging by the weight of the steps and their lack of care she suspected it to be Jasper.

Speaking of an awkward experience.

It had been over a year since they split apart from their fusion thanks to Alexandrite. Jasper had since become considerably more… tolerable. By that Lapis meant that she was no longer actively trying to hurt Steven or any of the gems in Beach City. No one would say she was 'on their side' or a Crystal Gem but she definitely wasn't opposing them or any threat. Kind of the way Lapis was. Steven wanted to and enjoyed spending time with Jasper if that was any indication how she'd changed. She didn't live in the barn with Lapis or Peridot or in the Temple with the others. She kind of wandered, always looking for something to distract herself with. Occasionally that meant that the two of them would cross paths.

"Hey," The larger gem spoke in her usual deep voice, it was without aggression, something Lapis still hadn't really gotten used to.

"…Hey," Lapis hesitated. She really hated this, not Jasper, she was past that. What she hated was the troublesome atmosphere where neither really knew what to say or do. Lapis still felt terrible for what she'd done to Jasper when they were fused so seeing the orange gem was just a reminder of her mistakes and there were enough of those.

Jasper took a seat next to Lapis in front of the ocean. The larger gem no longer wore her Homeworld uniform as she'd been poofed since then. This time around she had actually opted for more earth-like clothing, jeans and a jacket. It made her seem much less intimidating, but Lapis was never much intimidated by Jasper, not with the entire ocean at her fingertips.

"I thought you'd be at the barn," The quartz spoke.

"Steven wanted me to spend the day with him and Connie and I can't say no to him, like most of the people who know him." Lapis mused, "I thought you'd be out… doing something else."

"I had some bubbles for Garnet." That was a large part of what Jasper spent her time doing. Apparently she ran into plenty of corrupted gems that she would poof and then bring back to the temple. It was her way of saying that she was trying to be helpful without actually saying it, as her pride wouldn't allow it. Plus Lapis knew her well enough to know that Jasper just wanted to fight things so that was an added bonus.

"I see."

"Did Rose and his warrior friend leave?"

"It's Steven, you know that by now. And yes Connie is gone and Steven is in bed."

Then there was silence. This always happened. Whenever the two of them were together they didn't know how to act and it got weird fast. Deciding she should get this over with she asked,

"Was there something you needed?"

Jasper's cheeks coloured slightly at the blue gem's bold frankness, making Lapis want to laugh. It was kind of cute.

"Not really."

"Oh, OK."

There was that silence again. Determined not to make this as awkward as possible Lapis decided to continue speaking,

"I'm surprised you'd want to sit out here, and with me no less. Even if it has been a year, I would have thought the ocean made you uncomfortable."

"Yeah, well a lot has changed."

"That's true isn't it?"

"We both have… right?"

The slight hitch in her voice almost seemed like she was desperate for Lapis to acknowledge the strides Jasper had made. In truth Lapis had a lot of respect for the progress the larger gem had managed. Still, it was hard to talk about what they used to be. They'd never really talked about it before, it always seemed to be the 'elephant in the room' that they both wanted to put off talking about.

"You have," Lapis admitted, "I don't know about me though."

"Judging by the fact you haven't trapped anyone in a fusion I'd say you have."

Lapis glared at her, not really that mad but the comment still kind of stung. That was a sensitive spot for her.

"Oh," Jasper sighed, "Not really something to joke about."

"You've been spending too much time with Amethyst," Lapis chuckled, "Not very sensitive."

"Can I say something?"

Lapis raised a curious eyebrow,

"Of course, feel free."

"I—" Jasper began, suddenly unable to meet Lapis' eyes. Her expression was a mixture of embarrassment and guilt, "I'm sorry."

Lapis froze unable to completely comprehend what was happening. Neither had every really properly apologized to the other, it was sort of assumed and Lapis figured it would stay that way. Jasper's words brought emotions that she wanted to forget, not bad ones, ones she held towards certain memories. Memories of a time they shared that had been both terrible and wonderful at the same time. A time she never wanted to go back to. Lapis took a few moments to gather her thoughts again before bringing her knees to her body and holding them there close and replying quietly,

"I'm the one who should be saying that. I was wrong… I hurt you to make myself feel better and that wasn't fair."

Jasper scoffed,

"And I came crawling back for more. I hurt you. I pressured and intimidated you and called you terrible things…"

"I held you prisoner."

"So did I."

Blue eyes met yellow for a moment before the two looked away, both breaking into light laughter. Lapis had no idea why this was funny; maybe looking back they both saw how idiotic it all was.

"How about we both stop trying to outdo each other on how monstrous we both are and agree that we're both sorry?" Lapis proposed.

"Fine," Answered the other gem.

Another silence rested upon the two, this time it was more comfortable. The two just watched as the last of the sun's rays disappeared behind the horizon and the stars came out.

"You can see Homeworld from here." Jasper observed, a slight melancholy hinted in her tone.

"Yeah."

"Do you miss it?"

"What it used to be. But…"

"But what?"

"I'm happy here."

Jasper studied her for a moment before following Lapis' eyes back up to the sky.

"Are you…?" Lapis inquired carefully.

"No," Jasper answered casually.

"Why?" For some reason the idea of her not being happy saddened Lapis.

"Because no matter how hard I try I still crave power that I don't have, even if I know it's wrong."

Ah. There it was. The root of their issues. Malachite.

"So you still miss it?" She asked, looking at her blue toes rather than the quartz's face.

"Yes. It's like an itch, something I can never rid myself of. I know better now, but the addict in me still screams for fusion even if I am... different. It's hard not to miss."

"I do sometimes too… even when I shouldn't."

"But you were right that day on the boat, it wasn't healthy."

Lapis nodded, a sudden tender hopefulness washing over her. She turned her head to look Jasper in the eye and speak honestly,

"But maybe one day it won't be."

Jasper's eyes widened slightly in surprise before she turned her gaze up towards the sky again, a smile hinting at her lips. Lapis found that she was unable to tear her eyes away as the gem she'd once hated answered wistfully,

"Yeah… maybe one day."