Disclaimer: Twilight and it characters are owned by one Stephanie Meyer. Not me, but I'm guessing you already knew that. This is just here to clear confusion amongst lawyers who don't know better.

""Let us bow our heads in prayer." We all bowed our heads at my father's cue and he began this morning's prayer. "Dear heavenly father…"

His voice fades into the background as my thoughts take over. Right now I have far more important things to worrying about than church and yet it was what was partially bothering me. Not only had I disappoint God, but also my father. I suppose God had already been disappointed before this point, but my father got to live in the bliss of ignorance. Well technically he still was in that bliss and technically it could stay that way seeming how I don't know anything for certain.

That was my one last remaining hope. Most of my symptoms could easily be something else. The slight nausea when certain foods were around, increased tiredness, and the tender breast all could be anything ranging from the flu to PMS. Unfortunately if it were PMS my period wouldn't be three weeks late, but again I could be having an irregular cycle this month. Many possibilities, but I think even in denial I couldn't ignore the obvious more probable one.

Please God, don't let it be that. I pleaded in my head as my father finished the prayer. Please let it be something else. I'll even take cancer over this. "Amen." We all said in unison and the choir director came up to the podium in my father's place to start the hymns.

We all turned the page that had "amazing grace" in the book of hymns underneath every chair in the house. I really don't know why any of us, myself included, bothered using the book for this hymn. She started with it every week and it was widely recognized, so we should all know the words to by now.

As we all sang the song everybody knew I thought about the very first time I heard it. I was standing right in the spot I was today basically screaming the song. I hadn't quite figured out what sing meant and simply thought it meant be loud. It's what everybody else was doing; my three year-old self had reasoned and mother just ran with it. As long as I was happy and worshiping, she really didn't care and I hadn't gained the self-awareness to even be embarrassed. I miss that; the innocence and subsequently ignorance that came with being a child. It was care free and I didn't care about anyone's thought of me but my own.

I thought I was still this way, but my current might be maybe condition proves otherwise. I mean if I didn't care on some level I obviously wouldn't have gotten that far with someone I just met. Linda is finished with today's hymns and we all sit down awaiting my father's sermon.

I really wanted to ignore everything that's going on in my head and just pretend nothing ever happened let alone there's a possibility of something more, but my curiosity won't let me. It's something I really need the answer to especially if my hunch is correct. I won't be able to ignore or even hide it for very long, so I might as well suck up my anxiety and deal with.

After church was over I told my parents I was going over to Jessica's. Since this wasn't a rare occurrence they didn't question it, they only asked that I be home for Sunday dinner. I drove over to the only pharmacy in town and went right down the aisle I needed. I always found it kind of ironic that no matter which store you went to the pregnancy test were always located next to feminine hygiene products. It's like they wanted to taunt you no matter what. It's like saying you probably should be buying me this month, whether you wanted a baby or not.

Usually I would never condone or ever steal, but since this is a small town where gossip can spread like wildfire, I simply took the pregnancy test that seemed like it'd give me the most accurate result and headed straight to the bathroom as inconspicuously as I could.

I made sure the bathroom was completely empty before I chose a stall to go in. It wasn't surprising that there wasn't anybody in the bathroom, there weren't that many people here on Sundays. Once in the stall I sat down on the toilet and read the directions. They didn't go in much detail beyond pee on stick and wait, but at this moment that seemed like the most difficult task.

The waiting for obvious reasons was excruciatingly long for only being three minutes and when it was finally time to look, that was even harder to even attempt. I knew my fate was probably already set no matter what, but this stick was the one thing between me and harsh reality known as the truth.

After finally seeing as much logic as a person in real denial could I finally plucked up the courage to look at the test. Despite having known what the results were going to be the word pregnant in the little screen still managed to shock me to tears.

I spent all my time and energy preparing for the result, but never once thought about what to do after I got the result which made me feel completely and utterly disoriented. I started to hyperventilate and my vision was becoming blotchy, but I didn't have time for this. I need to get out of this bathroom, this store. I had to pull myself together and then find a better place to freak, one where no one could find me.

Once I got myself composed enough and disposed of the test under multiple paper towels, I walked out of the pharmacy with no place in mind, only with the knowledge that I needed to go. I ended up just outside school and I decided to sit at one of the picnic tables with my face buried in my hands while I lamented on how I screwed my life up so badly.

A/N: So here's the thing, I have this entire story planned out to the very end, but my updating is going to very irregular. I'm a person who's mind goes to a million things at once so organizing then in to coherence takes time. Plus I have a few other stories in progress so patience is the optimum word when dealing with me updating, but I promise this will be updated. I had wanted to wait until I had the story finished or almost until posting it, but my excitement about it got the best of me so bear with me in this process.