Lucifer and Hank go to a Bar.

Lucifer rode in the old pickup next to Hank Lockhart. The noxious fumes spewing from the tail pipe of the rust bucket made him nauseous. The other man was singing to some wretched country song playing on the radio. Lucifer was starting to regret this little trip.

Thankful the bar wasn't overly far. He only had to endure ten minutes in that truck. The truck parked outside a dive called "The Blue Collar." Interesting name he thought to himself. He stepped out of the pickup and brushed off his jacket. He buttoned it and followed his daughter's father-in-law inside.

The smoke filled room was loud. Full of boisterous people making small talk. It was dank and dark. The smell of stale booze and vomit hung in the air. More country music played over the jukebox. Hank and Lucifer walked to the end of the bar. Hank sat first. Lucifer hesitated at first then pulled back one of the ripped bar stools and sat beside Hank. This place was a stark contrast to his own establishment. The women weren't even worth taking a gander at.

"What'll you have?" The bartender asked in a gravelly voice. She was around fifty. Stringy blonde hair fell into her eyes. She wore make up but it didn't cover the wrinkles and lines on her face. She smiled at Lucifer.

"I'll have my usual, Kate." Hank said. He turned to Lucifer.

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks." Lucifer responded.

Kate's eyes widened. "Oh a Brit. Nice. I love your accent."

Hank laughed. "Watch this one, Kate."

Lucifer looked at Hank but said nothing. The country music was grating on his ears. He watched the bartender get their drinks and bring them over. "Thank you, love." He returned her smile. She could almost pass for attractive.

Lucifer and Hank sat in silence for a moment. Each sipping their drinks. Each unsure of what to say to the other. Another song started playing on the jukebox. Another forlorn cowboy. "Let me guess. This one lost his tractor too." Lucifer remarked sarcastically.

"What?" Hank responded in between swigs of cheap American beer.

"Oh the music. Every one of these poor cowboys. It's the same story. Their wives leave them. Their dogs die. Poor things."

"You don't like country."

Lucifer looked at the man. "Do I look like I enjoy country music?" He took a sip of his drink.

"Let me guess. You are into the devil's music." Hank made quotation marks with his hands.

"The blues you mean. Why yes of course. Throw in some good old rock and roll. Jazz has its merits."

Hank nodded. "I'm a big Elvis fan."

"There was an interesting chap."

Hank took a swig of beer. "Who Elvis?"

"Yes. I did a favor for him once."

"Really?"

Lucifer smiled. "Yep."

"Wow. Never would have guessed. What sort of favor?"

"I introduced him to the right person. That's how he got his big break."

"Hmm." Hank pondered that for a moment. He was still coming to terms with the fact that he was drinking in a bar with the Devil. The actual Devil. His nastier side still burned into his consciousness. But the fella right next to him. He didn't seem so bad. The first time he met he wanted to punch him. But right now. "So, let me ask you something Lucifer."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" He finished his drink and beckoned to Kate, the bartender for another.

"Why are you not in Hell?"

Lucifer shrugged. "I retired. Got tired of playing a part in my father's game."

"I see. So you are allowed to do that?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Not sure allowed is the correct word. I just want to do what I want to do. Not have someone else tell me what to do." Kate brought him another drink. Her eyes looking him over. He definatly looked out of place in the blue collar bar.

"I imagine your father isn't particularly happy about that."

"Nope. Not in the least bit."

"Why hasn't he hauled you back?" Hank was getting bold with his questioning.

"Good question." Lucifer snickered. The jukebox was playing yet another country song. He cringed. "He has sent one of my brother's to try and convince me. I suppose I may go back, eventually. Give or take a hundred years."

"Oh right." Hank finished his beer and beckoned for another.

A very large wide man approached the duo. He wore dirty torn overalls. He had long greasy hair and a scraggly beard. He could almost pass for a wrestler. The stench of body odor and tobacco wafted off him. He eyed Hank and Lucifer. "Hank." He said with disdain.

"Bob." Hank returned the disdain.

Lucifer eyed the interaction between the two men. Bob looked over at Lucifer. Lucifer in his expensive suit sitting among all these working men. He must be lost of something. "Well, look at you. All fancy and such. What are you doing in this dive?"

Lucifer shrugged. "Thought I would descend from on high to mingle with the commoners." His tone was sarcastic and slightly amused.

"What?" Bob responded. "You think your funny don't you."

Lucifer shrugged. "Maybe."

"You ain't from around here are you." Bob said to him. "Damn foreigners taking over Right Hank."

Hank looked at Bob. "I wouldn't get into it with this one Bob."

"I ain't scared of him." Bob walked around Hank and stood behind Lucifer.

Lucifer calmly sipped his drink. Not bothering to turn to the thin man. He looked at Hank. "A friend of yours."

"Hardly." Hank responded.

"What's you name Frenchie?" Bob said to Lucifer.

The Devil scoffed. He turned in the barstool. He faced the smelly wretch. "Lucifer."

Bob's eyes widened. "Pardon me. Lucifer?" He glanced at Hank. "Is he for real?"

"Very real."

"You come to our country and then dare mock our beliefs." Bob was getting angry.

Lucifer chuckled. "Not in the slightest no. Just sitting here enjoying a drink with my pal Hank. Now if you don't mind. Bugger off." He turned back towards the bar.

"It's a free country. My country why doesn't you bugger off."

Lucifer sighed heavily and turned to face the large smelly man. He stood up and buttoned his jacket. "Now, you loathe foreigners as you call them. But you do not appear to be Native by any measure. Clearly a descendent of the immigrants.""

"Oh Frenchie, is a smart ass." Bob responded.

"I'd rather be a smart ass than a portend smelly toad." Lucifer responded with a wicked smile.

"Oh yeah." Bob balled up his fist and took a swing at Lucifer. Shock in his face registered when Lucifer caught his fist. It was like hitting a brick wall. He then cried out when Lucifer twisted his arm like a twig. He felt his wrist snap.

Lucifer merely smiled at the man. The other patrons in the bar had grown quiet. Everything were watching the unfolding scene. He smiled at the man. "Come now Bob. No need for that. Why don't you just walk it off."

Bob swung with his other arm. Which Lucifer caught with a lightning fat reflex. Bob tried desperately too free his wrist from the other man. "What the hell?" He gasped.

Lucifer stood there holding the large man's wrist. It was no effort on his part. "Are you done yet?"

Bob struggled to free his wrist from Lucifer's grasp. "Let go." Lucifer released his grip. Bob was tenacious and swung again. Lucifer stepped aside and watched the fat man stumble and fall to the ground. He cried out as he landed on his broken wrist.

Lucifer bent down and picked the large man up with one hand. He held him against the wall. "Now, you can stop this foolish endeavor and go back to drinking or you can continue to humiliate yourself in front of your peers? Your choice."

"You are some sort of freak." Bob spat at him. He tried getting out of Lucifer's grasp.

"Something like that." Lucifer let go of him. He turned to Hank. Hank had a smile across his face. He was enjoying this scene. As was the rest of the bar. He turned his gaze to Bob. "Tell me Bob. What is it you desire?"

Bob stared at him. "Um I want to start a line of teddy bears." The large man shook his head. He didn't mean to say that out loud.

Lucifer laughed loudly. "Teddy bears? Really." He turned to the other patrons. "Did you hear that? Bob wants to sell you all teddy bears."

Everyone started laughing. "What kind of teddy bears, Bob?" Hank said between laughter.

"Shut up." Bob fumed. He glared at Lucifer. With one last growl he charged the Devil like a linebacker. Lucifer merely held out his arm and Bob ran into it. He fell down backwards dazed. "What are you?" The man asked Lucifer.

Lucifer knelt in front of him. "Your worst nightmare." His face flashed to his nastier side. Only Bob could see it.

Bob wet himself and began to scream. "Get away from me." He struggled to his feet and waddled out of the bar.

For a moment there was silence. Then everyone in the bar began to cheer and clap. Hank looked at Lucifer. "Bob has been bullying people for years. I don't think he'll be showing his face around here anymore."

Lucifer nodded and sat at the bar stool.

Kate put a drink in front of him. "This one is on the house." She winked at Lucifer. She then got Hank another beer.

Hank looked at Lucifer. "I have greatly misjudged you Lucifer."

"You are forgiven Hank." Lucifer smirked.

"I never thanked you for saving my life."

"Don't mention it. It's not often I do favors for free." Lucifer held up his drink.

Hank clinked the glass with his beer.

They both drank and talked some more. Two opposites had managed to find common ground. There was even the inkling of friendship. Who would have thought?

Author's Note: I was going to write this as a one shot. But I decided to put it here instead. Just a little bit of fun after that rather sad ending. Poor George. Don't worry his death won't be in vain. Big things coming.

Also thank you for the critiques. Even if a little harsh or downright honest. That sort of thing motivates me to improve my writing. I was scared to post my writings to the public. But sometimes it's good to do things that scare you. Writing is my outlet for anxiety and depression. It helps me focus a little better. I am trying to improve my writings overall. Critiques help drive me to strive for that. So again thank you.

I know Miranda's exit was abrupt and rather harsh and traumatic for the girls. I had something similar happen to me and my brother as a kid. I saw my parents in physical fights. Not that it justifies what I wrote. It's just life I guess. I will do better to build characters and what not. Also my police cases will get stronger. I really didn't want to turn this into an SVU fic. Ha-ha.