Chapter 1 – Numb

The last rays of sunlight filtered through the nearby trees and spread over Konoha like long golden fingers, ready to close into the warm embrace of a summer night. Villagers bustled this way and that, hurrying to finish their shopping during these final few twilight hours, though foot traffic had long since dwindled so that only a handful remained outdoors. To Hinata's eyes there seemed to be a scarcity of people even for this time of day, though she supposed that this was the eastern end of the market; most residences were made away from the main gates, and not many people found reason to approach the broad entryway in the first place. But she wanted to stop by, if only to glimpse down the long stretch of road leading away from the village. Naruto had left through those gates several weeks before on his way to Wave Country, and the silly notion that she might be lucky enough see him return couldn't easily be ignored.

One or two passersby recognized her eyes and offered deep bows, which she could only respond to with a hasty inclination while trying not to drop any shopping bags or let her embarrassed flush show. No one outside of the Hyūga knew that she wasn't worth offering that measure of respect, but it would be unforgivably rude to not return the gesture in kind. The only thing of note that she had ever accomplished was the C-rank mission that Team Eight had returned from the day before, and even that success had been mainly the results of Shino's planning and Kiba's quick reflexes. Hinata had only kept watch and tried not to be in the way while they had dealt with the highwaymen. No, she didn't deserve the villagers' respect, but she had some infinitesimally small hope that one day she might. Only through watching Naruto had she been able to garner that tiny amount of ambition. Maybe, just maybe she could gain a modicum of his confidence too – with enough time.

The hum of many voices met her ears before the final turn towards the gates, their collective voices projecting bitterness, distaste, and a touch of cold mirth here and there. Individually they were quiet, but discontent became loud with numbers. Hinata took to the main avenue, inquisitive gaze falling on a rather unusual scene. The gates of Konoha loomed above and beyond the guard station, which at present was surrounded by a dense crowd of onlookers, those in the back murmuring to those in front and trying to catch a glimpse of what lay ahead. She was far too small to see over the heads of the adults, but their hushed snippets of conversation carried much further than they likely intended, or perhaps they simply didn't care.

"Is that Kakashi's team there? Did he only pass two genin?"
"Hush, Tetsu! Can't you see what happened?"
"Never liked the troublemaker, but this . . .?"
"Aye, 'e came to me shop some days ta look at me wares. Feel bad for treatin' 'im the way I did now."
"What will the Sandaime think?"
"Eh, good riddance I say."

The intermingling voices went on, but Hinata stopped listening. The cold vice of dread was closing on her throat, white-hot nausea dropping to the pit of her stomach. Kakashi's team had returned. There were only two genin with him, and the spectators were far from circumspect in their bittersweet expressions.

Naruto.

Never in her life had Hinata purposefully acted in a way that inconvenienced others, but now she rushed forward on legs that moved of their own accord. She pushed through the mass of bodies, forcing and wriggling past to the drum of frantic heartbeats, every breath loud in her own ears. It had to be some kind of cruel joke. It had to be. No, she was probably taking things out of context and overreacting. That must have been it. Naruto had always been there, and his confidence and conviction had made it seem that he always would be. He would be. He had to be.

Hinata stumbled free from the crowd, taking several steps to maintain balance and right herself. There was the guard station, with Izumo and Kotetsu standing vigil as always, the former just completing a hand seal and vanishing with a Body Flicker. His companion stayed behind, hosting a dark expression and speaking in undertones to Kakashi, who looked nothing like his usual aloof self.

The battle-worn jōnin leaned heavily on a crutch, left leg bandaged in a haphazard weave. His forehead protector was missing, and the upper half of his ever-present mask had been torn, revealing a rough packing of gauze along his jawline with a thin line of blood showing through. Dark circles emphasized deep-set eyes, indicative of too little sleep over too many nights, the closed left that housed his Sharingan twitching beneath its eyelid. The rest of him looked no better, a myriad of ripped clothing and shallow cuts. A long wooden box rested on his left shoulder, a curious afterthought in light of the two genin standing beside him.

Sasuke stood just behind the man, his usual apathy replaced with a dark, hollow stare at nothing in particular. His right arm sported bandages from wrist to shoulder and required the support of a hastily-crafted sling. The rest of him appeared largely unharmed. Sakura as well had little in the way of injuries, only supporting a bruise here or there, but her vacant expression spoke of far worse trauma than just the physical. She stood as a girl lost, trapped in a daze and shivering uncontrollably despite the balmy dusk setting in. Truly enviable facial features, ones usually so carefully kept were now almost hidden beneath many days' worth of unwashed grime. The only signs of washing were the crooked trails of tearstains going every which way across her face, cried and covered more times than any kind soul would care to guess.

Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"Where . . .?" Hinata started, voice catching in her throat as Sasuke's eyes shifted to hers for the first time. A pair of Sharingan dared her to continue before reverting back to an innocuous spot in the dirt underfoot. But she had to know. "Wh-Where is . . . Is Naruto here?" Sasuke said nothing, his expression devoid of anything but simmering anger. Hinata looked to Sakura then, desperate for a response, but the other girl seemed incapable of reciprocating. Her expression remained unchanged, but tears began spilling down her dirtied cheeks all the same, knuckles turning white as she hugged herself harder still, quavering uncontrollably.

"K-Kakashi-sensei?" Hinata pleaded, her own knuckles white from gripping the hem of her haori. She couldn't remember dropping her shopping bags, their contents now spilled across the ground, but it didn't matter. The whole of her existence seemed to hinge on Kakashi as he half-turned towards her, that one tired eye more severe and dim than she had ever seen. He took a moment that stretched far longer than it should have, blinking once as if realizing who she was before that sunken visage sank even further. He turned back to Kotetsu, but not before speaking in a hoarse near-whisper that she barely caught.

"Naruto was killed in the line of duty. I'm sorry, Hinata."

Those words failed to process right away. Each of them made sense individually, but not when put together in such a way. Kakashi said something else, but she didn't hear. A little voice told her that it wouldn't matter anyway. What would matter now?

Naruto was killed in the line of duty. I'm sorry, Hinata.
Naruto was killed in the line of duty.
Naruto was killed.
Naruto.
Naruto.
Naruto . . .?

Reality came crashing down as the sky bent and fell. No, the sky hadn't fallen – she had, to her knees, still staring at Kakashi. He had a box on his shoulder, one that had seemed odd but not worth questioning in the light of so many other panicked thoughts and tragic details. It was a goodly-sized box, over twice its width in length. Just big enough for a small person to fit comfortably inside. Just big enough.

It wasn't a box. It was a coffin – Naruto's coffin.

Kakashi and the surviving members of Team Seven moved past eventually, the onlookers shuffling aside to give them plenty of room to make their slow way up the long, desolate road towards the Hokage's tower. The townsfolk eventually dispersed completely, leaving behind only the memory of their callous remarks and insincere remorse. Darkness fell, the streets emptied, but Hinata couldn't move, nor could she feel the passage of time. Surely this was merely a nightmare, or perhaps one of those awful genjutsu that Kurenai had demonstrated. Surely, surely Naruto couldn't be . . .

The gate stood ominously in the beginnings of night, catching the pale light of a rising gibbous moon. Hinata could only stare, trapped reliving the same moment from three weeks before. Naruto had swaggered through that gate, grinning from ear to ear and brimming with enthusiasm at being given his first C-rank mission. Every strutting step had been sure and steady, full of the same bravery and self-assurance that she had always admired.

But never again.

Memories flitted across her mind's eye. Naruto coming to her rescue when they were very young, fighting off bullies that had been teasing her. Again a similar scenario years later. Watching him train, curse the sky, the earth, himself, and then getting back up again. Naruto being ridiculed, beaten, outcast, talked down to, hated. And yet he, who lacked any family or acknowledgement from anyone – who had been pushed aside and trampled on as long as she could remember – he always did what he felt was right no matter the consequences. Without knowing anything about her, that incredible boy had done what nobody else had before: he had said with his actions that she could be worth something. He had followed his way of the ninja within a sea of adversity, never wavering.

But never again.

A cloud obscured the moon, plunging her into true darkness. Hinata clutched her head, felt tears falling, knew that there was an ache unlike anything she had ever experienced deep inside, but moving was beyond her. Thoughts failed to form. Emotions that should have been stirring, thrashing, tearing at her never surfaced. It was a numbness so deep that she felt insulated from all the world. The sole light in her life had been snuffed out. What was there left to feel in such a world?

Nothing.

Somebody took her by the shoulders and began guiding her away, but it only registered vaguely, as if it were happening to someone else. Her wide, unblinking eyes could only see that gate no matter which way she was made to turn – the gate, and a small coffin.

Every sensation faded to unimportance. Blackness befell her so completely that she vaguely hoped that the void had taken her away as well. Consciousness receded like a long exhalation, leaving behind only one thought to dwell upon as she faded from existence.

Naruto was gone, and he was never coming back.

Author's Note:

Heya folks.

Trying to develop a few literary skills through this story, and the fanfiction world could always use a bit more tragedy. Going for shorter chapters and a definitive conclusion within 50-100k words, so we'll see if I can do it. Most likely going to leave out author's notes as well and just write the story, but I will keep track of my writing progress on my profile below the CFKD section.

See you next time~

- Wes