Day 7 - Someday Departure

Those we love don't just go away, they walk beside us every day… unseen, unheard but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear.

Dear Mum and Dad,

If you're reading this, then something happened to me. I wrote these letters for that purpose, because I knew what was going to happen eventually. Balance of probability and all that. You probably found these in my journal. And if nothing did happen and you just happened upon these, I'm going to have give a lecture. Don't worry, I've practiced.

However I died, whatever it may be, I suppose I should say I'm sorry for leaving. I didn't want to. There's too much on my to do list.

We'll get the business stuff out of the way first. First and foremost, take care of my horses. There's letters for our whole family here as well. Notes and cards and I painted little pictures. I want you to keep my locket and the dearest ring. Don't bury me with them. You gave it to me, and now I'm giving it back. I want a big funeral, but I know you probably don't. Let it just be the family. Just my friends too. Make sure they knew.

As much as you probably won't listen to me, I'm asking you from the deepest part of my soul not to feel guilty about my death. I know you love me, and I know you didn't want to ever lose me. I can only hope you know that I'll never blame you. Hold onto each other. Hold on to our family. Please continue living and loving. Don't give up, because you carry my memory too.

I'm not sure what comes next for me, if there is an afterlife or if the powers that be have a better place for the product of fiction. But I'd like to travel, I think. Drift through universes and realities at my leisure. Which includes staying by you here. Unseen. Unheard. But I'll be there. Here's hoping.

But if not, if this is it and I'm simply gone, I want you to know I lived well. I loved much. And I could not have asked for better souls to surround myself with. I do wish things had been different. That I'd been able to travel more, and get a job. It sounds so glamorous, having a job and working to help others. My wedding would have been perfect, I'm quite sure. And having children? I think I'd want two at least. I'd plan them out just right. I think I could have made a difference out there, given the chance. Maybe in some other reality, in another part of the universe I've got all that and more.

And finally, I love you. So, so very much I can't even begin to understand how to express it. Maybe we're not meant to express it in full. Language, even physical affection, is just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to feelings, isn't it? I tried my best. I love you until the stars burn out and the galaxies fade. You are and were my role models. My guardians. My guidance. And my wings. I was born to fly, and I did. Never doubt that. Never ever doubt that.

Love eternally and forever yours, Zariah Hope Celestia Holmes

Zariah put down the pen after flourishing underneath her long name with a swirly line. Seated at her desk in her room, she had tears in her eyes and a tightness in her chest. She'd saved her parent's letter for last. And it'd been harder than she had thought it would be.

Wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, she composed herself. She folded up the page, slipped it into an envelope, and tucked it into the front cover of her journal. She had something to do.

Seconds later she was out of the room and maneuvering through the halls of their home. She crashed into her father with little warning, wrapping arms around him and tucking herself into his welcoming embrace. She took a deep shaky breath and then spoke softly in Enochian.

Zariah always said it like it was going to be the last time. Because someday, it would be.

"I love you, Daddy."