HOLDING ONTO GRAVITY

I think I can feel the weight of the air

Like the whole world's gravity rests only on me

He was awake now, but he decided to keep his eyes closed. There was a ringing sensation in his ears, and usually that didn't throw him off. But, this time, the ringing sensation was accompanied with a thundering pain in his head. He wasn't surprised, given what he had been through (or what he can remember going through), but the two usually came separately. When operating together, it managed to make the Uchiha feel wearier than usual.

His head was throbbing, with the side of his head feeling as though it was pulsating. It was a migraine, and he could do little about it. Sakura had already given him enough recommended pain medication. Even after "pleading" (which was merely him asking once again) with her, she refused. She informed him of what he had already known; his body would take care of the rest, accompanied with time, and that he was lucky he was able to heal quicker than others.

"Not as quickly as Naruto, of course." She had added jokingly in that moment. Sasuke merely frowned at her.

That was how most of their interactions had went, from what he could remember. Superficial, barely scratching the surface. There was an instance where she tried to talk to him — like talk to him. But, she dropped it in a heartbeat, and Sasuke could only assume it wasn't easy for her to be attending to a former teammate who was this close to killing her; a teammate who has constantly let his team down.

Suddenly a lot less inclined to destroy any and all of his relationships, now that he was down an arm, he had asked her once before. He had asked how she had felt about everything — how she was currently feeling.

And the only answer he had gotten was in the form of a wistful smile, followed by a soft, "too much." And that was when he took into consideration all the little factors. The way she hesitated before she came in to check on him, or the way she'd bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from frowning openly at him. After that short response, he realized how much of a toll the whole situation must have been taking on Sakura.

Although, 'realized' was probably the wrong word. He had known all along the extent of misfortune and anger his actions had brought upon Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi — everyone, basically. It was just that it was only now that he allowed the thought to sink in. And when it did, he made an effort to stop being so difficult. At least to Sakura, that is.

After all, how was she supposed to feel? Angry? Sad? Happy? And that was just it. She was feeling every single emotion in the book, and it only served to make her frustrated. He thought that maybe once Naruto was well enough, the three of them could have a…talk. To finally have laid things to rest and reach that point of mind numbing catharsis.

His eyes already closed, he shut them even tighter when another wave of pain washed over him. Keeping his eyes closed was the one thing he could do right now to ease himself. If he had opened his eyes, he'd be met with the blinding bright lights of his hospital room, with the sterile walls and floors threatening to suffocate him. He didn't need any more strain.

Aside from occasionally tightening his lips to form a straight line, and furrowing his brows, it wasn't physically evident he was experiencing in pain. Lying straight in bed, he could only imagine how much Naruto would be complaining right now, keeping the mood in his room boisterous and lighthearted. He must have been in tremendous pain, but he was probably still thinking of everyone around him – simply wanting them not to worry (too much) over him. Annoying as he his, Naruto's ability to make people feel better was a gift. Now that they both lost an arm to each other, Sasuke figured he can throw Naruto a compliment now and then. Never to his face, of course.

He shut his eyes tighter again when his head began to hurt more. Reflexively, he tried to move his left arm and touch the pulsating area of his head, to no avail. He had to stop himself from wryly laughing at his failed attempt at moving his missing limb. He didn't want to draw attention to himself. There was someone in the room, but he couldn't tell who. He didn't wish to exert any more effort just to discern whose chakra was merely feet away for the past few minutes. He guessed it was an aide of Sakura's, judging from the sounds they were making. It sounded as though the aide looked through his chart at one point, rearranged the things on the table next to him, and drew the blinds that Sakura had left open in order to spite Sasuke. He could still hear the joy in her voice when she had checked up on him earlier, and chirped, "Rise and shine!"

He must have slightly rustled the sheets when he tried moving his missing left arm, because he could faintly hear the aide's footsteps coming closer. He mentally cursed himself for not being as still as he could be, because now he'd have to suffer through having human contact. Ah, yes. Other things may have changed, but that good old Uchiha angst will never seem to leave him.

Much to his dismay, he could hear some mumbling. He couldn't hear much over the ringing sound in his ears anyway, but the aide seemed to have a rather soft voice. She had tried to speak with him on multiple occasions, but he'd always rebuff her efforts. Before he can physically reject her by turning on his side and turning away from her, he heard her mumbling stop, and the left side of his head suddenly felt much cooler. Her fingertips laid themselves gently against his skin, akin to a feather's weight.

He felt her fingers delicately put some paste on his head, and then lightly massage it in. Although, he wasn't sure if it was a paste or not. He figured pastes and salves were always thick, but the substance she had just placed on his head was rather light. Her movements were careful, and her fingers were as cool as the paste. The cooling sensation was a change much appreciated.

He made no effort to move, even when she had removed her fingers away from his head. She started to speak again, and this time, Sasuke tried paying a bit more attention.

"…slight fever." He heard her say. He raised a brow, questioning her without having to look at her and without the need of words, and she repeated herself.

"You…have a slight f-fever. Migraines are to be expected. I-" She spoke slowly, and it began to irritate Sasuke, so he interrupted her.

"And what?" His sentence was more on the gruff side than he intended it to be, which seemed to spook the aide. She spoke faster now, but stuttered more.

"J-Just some s-salve," she informed. "I hope i-it works. I'll, um," she paused, and by the sounds he heard, seemed to have done something. "I'll l-leave it on the table if you'd like to use it a-again."

He didn't reply, and she didn't push him to. She merely placed her fingers on his head again, leaving it there sitting idly for long enough that Sasuke lost his patience and questioned her (which wasn't long at all).

She didn't draw away her hand right away. She said whenever she had migraines, she'd like it when someone would place something cool on her forehead.

"I-Is that okay?" She asked him. He could feel her looking at him, and the trepidation she was feeling seemed to come off of her in waves and engulf the air in the room. He frowned at her question, but he didn't reply, nor did he move away.

She took his silence as acceptance, and kept her hand there. A lock of hair seemed to come onto his face, and she had leaned over just a bit more so she could brush it away gently. When she did, he took in the vague, peculiar scent of ramen mixed with cinnamon. He was about to question it, but he bit his tongue. No need to show any interest, he figured.

After another minute of somewhat awkward silence, she withdrew her hand, which Sasuke felt the lack of immediately. Silently, she shuffled some other things around on the table, and spoke again.

"Sakura's probably aware th-that you have a fever," she said slowly, recalling that Sakura had already done her rounds. Sasuke stopped himself from berating her for her sheepishness, and allowed her to continue.

"I'll…remind her just in case."

And that was that. She gave him one last goodbye, and turned to leave. Waiting until he was sure her back was to him and she was far away enough, Sasuke opened his eyes.

The aide that smelled like cinnamon and ramen had long dark hair which followed her every movement obediently. After a second of getting used to the light and surroundings, he could tell that her hair was a deep dark shade of purple. The door opened, and then closed, leaving Sasuke by himself again. She hadn't looked back once.

He felt as though he had met someone with hair like hers – the color at least. It must have been brief and she must have not been able to make an impression on him because he could barely recall the meeting.

But now, at least, he can distinctively remember the odd scent of cinnamon and ramen commingled.

After skimming through its contents at light speed, Sakura held her clipboard to her chest. She walked down the hallway briskly, her heels clacking on the tiled floor beneath her. The hospital was always, in her opinion, understaffed — but now it was unbearable. She didn't expect anything else, given the fact that Konoha itself was still barely standing. Anyone who could move, moved to help Konoha get back on its feet and onto the road of rehabilitation.

Which, of course, left Sakura juggling both of her responsibilities of being a medic-nin and a shinobi of Konoha. When she wasn't at the hospital, she was helping her fellow comrades try and return Konoha to a more stable state; to help return it to its previous state. As a result, she was spread far too thin. Her only solace was the fact that the hospital was one of the first things that was almost completely done being repaired, which made things immensely easier for her. Tsunade had done her best at trying to secure more people to help out at the hospital, but the help she had gotten was barely satisfactory. However, at this point, any kind of help was appreciated.

The more critical cases always found itself onto her lap, seeing as she is the Hokage's esteemed protégé. As a result, she found herself treating both of Konohas 'heroes' — although she's sure one of them would merely cringe at the idea of being declared a hero. Actually, she's pretty sure that the public sentiment regarding Sasuke was still vastly negative. Even if the general disproval regarding the Uchiha had died down since the war ended, it still hung in the air. It probably will for a very, very long time.

Sakura was also convinced that the only reason that she was the leading medic nin on both of their cases was merely because she was the only one who could put up with either of them. On one hand, you get a brooding, angst-ridden, slightly evil man who no one really feels comfortable being in the same room with. On the other hand, you get Naruto. And Naruto does not shut up. He keeps on going and going and going and —

Sakura stopped momentarily just to take a breath at the mere idea of having to check up on Naruto. Again. It took a lot out of her, being around him when he's in that state. And the fact that he's still constantly smiling and talking and just — just being himself. It hurt Sakura, because she knew that he was hurting. He, of course, refused to show anyone that he was.

After all, he was alive, wasn't he?

Although there were some days she pushed seeing Naruto to the very end of her hospital day, her checkups on Naruto were never as hard on her as her checkups on Sasuke were. Being in the same room as Sasuke simply suffocated her.

She felt like a child again in his presence — unassuming, and naïve.

Every time she steps into his room, the anger and frustration bubbles up inside of her. It rises, and rises, but it never escapes in its original, intended form. Instead, it melts into concern and converts itself into compassion. Because, try as she may, she could never hate him.

Yes, bits and pieces of him she does indeed loathe. But how can she hate him as a whole? How could she hate his entire being? She wants to, but it wasn't possible.

She knew she was doomed to unconditionally love and care for the Uchiha, the same as she did for Naruto. It was her cross to bear. The three of them will always have an unspoken bond.

It was in that sense that she always regressed to being a child in his presence. And to get it away from it all, to get away from Sasuke when it all becomes too overwhelming, she goes to Naruto. To retain a shred of dignity, she tears herself away from the boy she once knew, to the one she always will.

And here she was, at his door again.

She pushed the door open, and exhaled.

And there were two of her biggest supporters, sitting, watching with unbridled glee as she walked in and closed the door behind her. And with their smiles, she no longer felt the clipboards weight and all the names scribbled on it weigh her down.

But this feeling of bliss was short lived. Her nose scrunched up in mild disgust, and she gave the two an exasperated groan as the smell of ramen wafted in the (once) sterile air.

"Hinata." The stern look Sakura gave the girl by Naruto's bedside only gained her a sheepish smile in response. She glanced at the bowls of ramen on the table, and then eyed the two. She had caught them in the act.

"I told you," she sighed. Placing the clipboard on the other table, she walked over to Hinata and Naruto. "No more ramen." Hinata tried bringing up the fact that he was just getting his appetite back, but Sakura still retrieved the bowl from her.

"But Sakuraaaaa—," Naruto drawled. He was about to continue, but Sakura shot him a piercing gaze.

"No. Ramen." And with that, she quickly disposed of any and all items relating to the one food item in Naruto's diet. Naruto merely sunk bank into his pillow, pouting. If he had both his arms, Sakura was sure he would've crossed them in an attempt to look annoyed.

Shaking her head at his antics, she told him to stop getting Hinata to get him ramen. This only made Naruto sink even further back and frown childishly at Sakura. The Hyuuga giggled behind her hand, gaining back Sakura's attention.

"And you!" Sakura said in mock anger. Hinata's smile only grew wider behind her hand as Sakura came closer. She playfully (and softly) placed her fist on the seated girl's head.

"Stop giving in to him. You reek of ramen now, too."

Hinata looked up at her, a shy smile adorning her features.

Sakura was always fond of Hinata, but even more so now. Hinata was one of the first people to jump at the chance to help Sakura — without being asked! Her quiet company was something Sakura appreciated during the more hectic times, and it will something she will continue to appreciate. Sakura knew she had countless of people in her corner, but Hinata was different. Hinata was her beacon of light — she served as a constant reminder of why she should keep trying to make things better. Because Hinata…Hinata never stopped trying. In the subtlest of ways, Hinata was always doing something. However little, however big — Hinata was actively trying, all with a smile.

She was a calming presence, and she could not have made it this far without her. She was always checking up on her patients when it got too tough for her, or too hectic, or just too overwhelming. When she couldn't bear to be in the same room as Sasuke for much longer, Hinata would be there to take over.

To Sakura, Hinata was just bathed in sunlight. Glowing, and warm. Something comfortable.

"You're so lucky you're cute." Sakura said, smiling down at her. "Or else I would've banned you from this room for breaking the "No Ramen" rule."

She then began to check on Naruto and his current condition. And, not surprisingly, he has made remarkable progress — but the Kyuubi could only do so much. Time still plays a huge factor in the Uzumaki's recovery; time and patience would heal all that medicine couldn't.

As she continued her checkup, Hinata reported her time with Sasuke to her.

"H-He still seems t-to have that fever," she said. "I g-gave him some of my salve. I hope that's okay."

"Of course that's okay," Sakura said, as she examined the function of Naruto's left arm. His right arm ended in a stump, but Tsunade was working on something in regards to that.

"H-He talked to me today," Hinata added in. Sakura paused for a millisecond, before she continued her work.

"He did?" Naruto asked incredulously. His unfaltering gaze on Hinata made her fidget slightly, and she willed herself to repeat the Uchiha's words. She was still getting used to being with him in such close proximity. At the end of her recount, Naruto lightheartedly joked that even Sasuke's cold heart wasn't a match for Hinata's kindness.

Sakura watched as Hinata's cheeks grew red, and smiled to herself. She began to inspect the stump. She prodded the skin, feeling for anything. Naruto and Hinata chatted lightly, with their conversation mostly consisting of Naruto speaking, per usual. After confirming that nothing was wrong, Sakura went back to her clipboard and updated Naruto's charts.

"I'm going to check the East Wing, and then I'm going to go see if Tsunade needs me to do anything outside of the hospital." Sakura informed the two, when she finished noting Naruto's condition onto the paper.

"You've got this covered, Hinata?"

A smile, and a nod.

And Sakura didn't need to say thank you, that she knew, but she did anyway. And then, she was on her way.

"Sorry for making you get me ramen." Naruto said, flashing a toothy grin that indicated that he wasn't really that sorry. Hinata pointed this out, and he laughed, throwing his head back into the pillow.

And then he talked to her, the direction of their conversation aimless. Just words escaping their lips and dispersing in the air, killing the silence that made Naruto so uncomfortable. His words were quick, fast, and loud. Hers were soft and slow, and she listened with patience.

A calming presence.

In the moment Hinata was talking about what the weather was like outside, as she her face away from him to look out the window, Naruto took her in silently.

He still hasn't said anything about what she had done. Nothing about what she had done before the war for him, during the war for him, and after the war. He claims to not know where to start, and though he knows he is dense, that was only an excuse.

He just has, as always, too much to say.

Sometimes he feels bad when he thinks about how she must feel, being around him when he hasn't acknowledged anything. But the feeling goes away as quickly as it crept into his heart, because he knew that she wouldn't want him to pity her like that.

He knows he should reply, but he was too scared. He didn't want anything to change. He didn't want her to change and he didn't want to change. And even though he puts on a front of being boisterous and carefree, everything has changed in a matter of months.

And he desperately needed Hinata to stay the same — to be a source of stability and remain stagnant.

But still, he should say something — anything. Something that had substantial meaning and wasn't just noise to fill in the gaps.

"Hey, Hinata," he began, cutting her off as she was talking about how the birds in the forest were beginning to come back.

She turned slightly, so she could face him again. She's gotten a lot better at maintaining eye contact in general, and in maintaining it with him. As such, Naruto could see the slight color in her cheeks, and the way her eyes seemed to take him and his whole being in.

"Thank you." He said.

"W-Wha—"

"I know it's not just for Sakura — all this that you're doing. Thank you. You're a good friend, Hinata". He gave her one of his cheekier smiles.

And he watched as her cheeks grew in color as she brought her hands to her face. She cupped her cheeks and told him that was the least that could do.

"I-I mean the r-ramen is just an excuse," she said, her hands now covering her face. "A-An excuse to…see…you." Her words trailed off near the end, but Naruto still caught them.

A pang of guilt later, and Naruto smiled openly at her. She became a lot more forward, he noticed, the more time she spent with Sakura. Which was a blessing in disguise, since Naruto truly is a dense idiot.

He leaned over, and with his right arm, he moved her hands.

Unblinking, she stared owlishly back at him, her cheeks getting redder by the second.

"Thank you for being so patient. I —" He paused. "I don't take any of this for granted."

After a second of being in awe of his sincerity, and his sudden seriousness, Hinata willed herself to calm down and managed to get the color in her cheeks to die down a bit.

She gave him her own small smile, and placed a hand on his.

"I know you don't."

Naruto didn't know what he did to deserve someone like Hinata in his life, but the way she looked at him made him feel like he was somebody. And before he could fixate on how long her eyelashes were, and how soft her hand was and how right it felt for it to be placed on his, he quickly cracked a joke and returned back to normalcy.

a/n: this chapter's title was taken from the song "holding onto gravity" by NELL. incredible song! also look at me starting something that starts in the hospital...yet again. and having to deal with scents for the first chapter...yet again. LMAO

didnt think i would come back to this but a lovely reviewer from rubatosis told me to keep going or to try new things and for now, new things it is. thanks for the encouragement! hopefully my writing isnt as horrible as it was before ;;;;