Parties were always so slow, but at least the food was different. Usually, Gozaburo stuck to the traditional sukiyaki cuisine that he preferred when he was alone but whenever guests came over, he always tried to appear more international than he actually was. That meant filet mignon for dinner, something Seto secretly favored, with roasted vegetables and different specialty side dishes Gozaburo probably only chose because they sounded fancy.

Sitting at the table, Seto watched from the corners of his eyes as Gozaburo hardly ate any of it. He probably found the food distasteful, despite having chosen it, but their gaijin guests seemed to enjoy it. That, or they were trying to be polite. It was hardly the standard cuisine in their country of origin, but it wasn't as impressive to provide Danish dishes at a business dinner as it was to serve French.

Filet mignon was very tempting but Seto couldn't really enjoy eating the prized cut of beef while his attention was split between what was on his plate and what was happening from across the table. Gozaburo seemed like he was in deep conversation with one of his associate's sons, who couldn't be more than sixteen or seventeen. Seto didn't understand why he'd be interested in talking to a kid, but he paid attention anyways.

The exchange was strange. Gozaburo kept moving near his personal space while the boy shyly moved back as if uncomfortable. Despite both his parents watching with slightly alarmed looks, they did nothing and Seto watched in silence, bringing his dinner to his mouth without saying a word. The dull conversation just seemed to last forever.

"Ivan, have you thought about interning at Kaiba Corporation? We're always looking for young talent such as yourself, and your father told me you graduated valedictorian. We could certainly find a use for you somewhere if you are interested."

Gozaburo was smoking that cigar of his, the smoke puffing out of his mouth as he played with it between his teeth. Seto frowned; watching Gozaburo reminded him of a cat playing with a mouse. It was obvious that the Danish teen wasn't interested but he kept pressing offers, and even his mother spoke up about his interest in engineering at one point.

"Oh, Ivan's been looking into going to school in Japan for sometime, he knows the language fluently," she offered, glancing at her husband afterwards like she needed some sort of approval for saying so.

It was just so strange. Seto narrowed his eyes looking at all the guests at the table; there were three Danish businessman there sitting at attendance, each with their wives. Only one brought their son and daughter, probably as bait.

Or at least it seemed like that. The daughter, Danica, had to be Seto's age, but she was boring and appeared mousy. Despite her Nordic features and fair complexion, she lacked any sort of outward personality and wouldn't look anyone in the eyes. Maybe she was trying to appear polite but Seto found it grating, and he immediately took a dislike to her. She had tried conversation with him but Seto just pretended she hadn't spoken at all.

Then there was Ivan, the son. His father had placed him right near Gozaburo. There was nothing accidental about the arrangement and it made Seto think hard about how well he actually knew his adoptive father. Did he have tendencies he wasn't aware of? If that as the case, Seto's lack of knowledge was not acceptable, he needed to learn everything about his enemies, so he watched silently and patiently to understand fully what was happening in front of him.

He was fortunately not required or expected to engage with the guests. Aside from the quiet girl sitting beside him, no one approached him with the expectation that he'd be speaking with them. He was pleased to have the opportunity to observe without being equally scrutinized. The guests at the table seemed to assume he was just Gozaburo's son, in attendance simply because he also lived in the mansion. And, of course, so he could be shown off.

If all that was required of him was sitting quietly and looking good, then he could put up with it. There were considerably worse alternatives. He watched the businessmen who were in attendance with their wives. Power couples, of course, putting on the appearance of a patriarchal relationship when they were equally engaged (and probably knowledgeable) about the conversation. The women sat quietly for the most part, only speaking about irrelevant things, and always looked at their husbands while doing so. The two minors in attendance were absolutely silent unless first addressed.

Ivan got most of the attention, in that regard. Not only from Gozaburo (which honestly, Ivan didn't look pleased about), but also from the others in attendance. He apparently had a more impressive record than his younger sister. Seto wasn't overly concerned with him. Despite being two years Ivan's junior, he was sure he had a considerably better track record regarding achievements. They made eye contact occasionally, Seto's deep blue eyes meeting much lighter, crystalline ones, but he never granted that long a gaze. Ivan was at the opposite end of the table, and of no interest.

He was boring, in Seto's opinion. His looks were somewhat striking, compared to his sister's. She had darker hair and eyes, whereas Ivan was practically Germanic in looks and had classically handsome features. But he was so impossibly obedient that Seto could barely stand to watch him. It was as if he'd had Seto's training and enjoyed it.

When the group retired to the smaller dining room for tea, Ivan unexpectedly inserted himself beside Seto. It was probably partly to evade Gozaburo, but from the way he hesitantly smiled and made deliberate eye contact, it seemed he intended to make conversation. Hopefully he'd scare as easily as his mousy little sister. Probably not, but Seto was allowed to dream, wasn't he?

"We didn't really get an opportunity to introduce ourselves personally," Ivan noted, his voice low. Everyone was speaking more quietly now that the quarters were smaller. The showing off of children was over for the time being, and the adults were actually discussing business now.

"I'm sure there was a reason for that..." Seto muttered under his breath in reply.

He turned towards the windows, immediately losing interest in the other while not trying to hide that fact. For as long as he could remember, Seto always disliked his peers, and dealing with anyone who went to parties acting like a trained dog looking for treats did not deserve his attention. Even if they were attractive looking, it wasn't enough to make Seto intrigued. Handsome wasn't enough for him when the personality was completely lacking.

"Um," Ivan's face didn't falter, except for his big, round eyes; Seto could see that he wasn't as confident as he'd been while speaking before. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to make him sit quietly for the remainder of the evening, as it had been in the case of his sister. "Do your father's guests stay the night very often?"

"That's dependent on how charitable Kaiba Gozaburo is feeling."

Apparently they had made an impression if they were going to stay the night. Sometimes that happened, it wasn't unusual, but usually the guests weren't minors. Seto wasn't sure what to think of that, but he really didn't want to either, and turning his attention completely over to stirring his tea, he tried giving Ivan the cold shoulder.

"You don't seem to enjoy social dinners very much," Ivan seemed to be fishing for some topic that would make Seto more talkative, "Are you shy, or would you just rather be doing something else?"

"I'd rather be left alone," replied Seto, giving Ivan a pointed look, "But you don't seem capable of understanding social cues."

"Understanding is simple," Ivan smiled, but it seemed a little bit vicious, "Acknowledging is left to the individual."

He turned back to his tea, hopefully finished trying to make conversation for the rest of the evening. If he wanted a friend to speak with, he should try his sister, in Seto's opinion. She certainly looked like she could use it, timid thing that she was. But she was the youngest in a business family, and from the way she was treated, she probably wasn't making acceptable progress compared to her brother.

Seto was glad that Mokuba wasn't forced to attend these dinners. He wouldn't be able to juggle them as well, or dance around business partners so easily, if he had to worry about looking out for his younger brother while doing it. And he would certainly need looking after since Mokuba had neither training nor prowess for interpersonal politics.

Watching the guests drink their tea, he noticed when the Danish siblings were the first to leave for bed. One of the servants retrieved them, leading them up to the guest rooms. Seto hoped they wouldn't be close to where he and Mokuba slept. He didn't want to see them wandering around near his bedroom in the middle of the night, and since Seto usually didn't sleep well, it was likely that he'd be out walking around the hallways once he knew Gozaburo had retired.

Afterwards the two businessmen with their wives left, driving back to their respective hotels, and it was just Seto, the parents of the Danish children, and Gozaburo. They were speaking in hushed voices, and the wife looked upset but didn't say a word. She just sat there, frowning, while Gozaburo laughed and drank several glasses of wine, along with the husband.

Seto wanted to know what they were talking about but he was too far away to hear any of it. It would raise suspicion if he tried eavesdropping, and he was tired as it was already. Although it was unlikely that he'd get much rest, it still felt good just trying to relax and hopefully falling to sleep at a decent time.

Besides, nothing of much interest was happening. Getting up and excusing himself, he left the room and went upstairs. Gozaburo didn't even force him to stay like usual, just merely nodded at him before getting sucked back into whatever conversation he was having with the Danish guests.

No matter.

After changing out of his dinner clothes and putting on his pajamas, Seto went about his evening ritual, brushing his teeth and relieving himself before going to bed. Physically, he was tired but he didn't feel quite ready to sleep. So he laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling while he thought past what he'd seen earlier. He kept his mind away from the realm of the party guests and what they were discussing in hushed voices in the tea room that moment. They could be discussing anything with Gozaburo, and the specific topic being negotiated wasn't one Seto wished to explore.

That, and he found the guests generally annoying. Danica hadn't been so bad overall, if only because she'd taken the hint better to buzz off like Seto had hoped. Ivan, on the other hand, had been infuriatingly determined to get his attention. Seto had no interest in receiving it. Ivan had a certain intensity about his gaze while watching him that Seto understood and yet couldn't quite identify, and it hadn't made him any more willing to be social.

He decided that letting his thoughts wander freely wasn't helping much, and so Seto sat up, turning on the lamp at his bedside before standing and fishing his library books out of their hiding place. He sat cross-legged in bed with one open in his lap, observing the pictures. Despite the fact that he'd opened the book several times since it came into his possession, it hadn't lost its value. If anything, repeated observation had only eased his embarrassment about it and made him more able to look at the images within unabated.

What he wasn't sure whether or not he should be pleased about was the fact that the pictures of men together didn't make him uncomfortable anymore. He wouldn't say they stirred him, certainly not like the other couplings, but he didn't shy away from them like they were infectious as he had before. It made him wonder, as much as he didn't want to. It seemed futile to wonder about something as complex as sexuality when he didn't know anything about it. Obviously, he'd endured Gozaburo's opinions on the subject, but he'd learned long ago to disregard Gozaburo's opinions.

Seto wasn't sure what to make of it. Working outside of a sexual context, he found men and women equally pleasing to the eye, and interesting in some cases. Ivan and Danica were both attractive teenagers, in his opinion, even if he wasn't interested in them. And that was immensely troubling. He didn't want that to mean he might be attracted to men, certainly not in the same context as women. It was a frightening idea, if only because of the possible ramifications if he was discovered.

Of course, the Danish siblings were hardly a good study. Neither of them made him want, or piqued his interest physically. They didn't even catch his attention intellectually. They weren't stimulating in any context, at least not to him. Although, considering his basis of comparison, they didn't have much of a chance, he supposed.

His mind kept wandering back to Jonouchi, not so much because he particularly favored the idea, but because he knew Jonouchi was interesting. He was crude, wild, and grated on the nerves when he didn't feel like being friendly, but all that only made him a better subject. Moreover, he was attractive. He'd had the good fortune of inheriting a good combination of Caucasian and Japanese physiognomy traits, and it showed despite his often-messy appearance.

Seto wasn't sure what to make of it. It would be one thing if he was simply acknowledging that Jonouchi was attractive, as he did with the siblings Ivan and Danica. That would be something he could easily brush off.

However, Jonouchi was particular, in that Seto found him particularly attractive, and that was the cause of his struggle. One he couldn't solve, because he didn't have any information on the subject. The sex book depicted males together (and several combinations of men and women, besides) but offered no real information about the reason behind it. Just information, explanations of positions, safety tips...not to say that things like that weren't probably useful, but they didn't assist Seto in any way. He needed information about theory, not practice.

He looked over the pictures with greater scrutiny than usual. He didn't know what he'd think about being with a man. The concept was strange and uncomfortable to him, honestly. Not as uncomfortable as it had been the first day he opened the book, evidently, but still not something he wanted to explore very much. He didn't like the idea of being the submissive partner, certainly. It was beyond his level of cooperation. He couldn't see himself lying still for someone, regardless of whom, and certainly not for another male. It seemed as if it would reflect poorly on him, somehow.

And then there was the method. If he ever was in a situation to do something with someone of the same sex, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of intercourse. No, thank you. The very thought made him wrinkle his nose in disdain and frown until he shook it off. Regardless of how much fun the men in the pictures seemed to be having, he couldn't imagine that the experience was pleasant, and had no intention of testing that theory.

Maybe he could go as far as touching, if he was trying to discover his comfort level. It didn't seem as alienating as oral or anal sex, nor as invasive. It wasn't as if he'd never touched a penis before. He had his own. He just didn't like the idea of having one in any of his orifices.

That said, he wasn't so opposed to giving oral to a woman. It was a much more comfortable realm of thought for him, and he was hardly ashamed about it. Thinking about sexual situations with women was far more comfortable and put him off significantly less. No, he wouldn't mind putting his mouth on a woman. He was even slightly interested in the idea and considered it worth trying if the opportunity arose, even if he found out later that he didn't care for it.

Seto sighed, turning back to the heterosexual portion of the book. He'd been surprised by the pictures of male-to-female anal the first time he'd seen it. It had struck him as being entirely unnecessary, and frankly rather disgusting, but after actually reading the explanations the book had to offer, he'd felt less prejudiced. Still not particularly interested, since he couldn't imagine it would feel better than vaginal penetration. He hoped that if he did find a woman in the future, she wouldn't insist on something like that. He didn't want to try it, and wasn't sure what he'd think of a girl who did.

The book just wasn't informative enough about the whys of sex and sexuality. It was very instructive regarding the practice, but it wasn't enough. If he wanted to understand himself and his own boundaries, he'd need to understand the psychology behind it all. And none of Gozaburo's ranting about mental illness and sickness had been very illuminating, so Seto would be left to his own resources.

He was starting to feel tired from puzzling over it, to the point that he wasn't really focusing on the pages anymore as he turned them, so he closed the book and returned it to the hiding place with the others. He resolved to take another trip to the library at the nearest opportunity and hopefully find something to help him figure it all out. He honestly didn't know how much he would find, or if there was anything to find in the first place, but if they had how-to books for sex there, they must have something about sexuality. There was a full section dedicated to it, even though most of the books on "sexuality" were actually about the sex itself.

He turned off the light as he got into bed, his mind fortunately not particularly focused on any one thing. It would be easier for sleep to overtake him if he wasn't trying to problem solve. He exhaled a deep sigh as he settled in on his back, his eyes closed. Scattered images from the events of the evening appeared here and there, but he was too tired to form coherent understanding of them. Closing his eyes, he allowed sleep finally to overtake him.

It was still dark when he finally realized he was laying in his bedroom. And looking to the other side of his mattress, he was surprised to find it disheveled, like someone had just crawled out from the sheets. Seto didn't remember Mokuba getting up and joining him that night, but maybe he had and didn't say anything.

Ah well, might as well try giving him a visit.

But when he stepped outside into the hallway, he became distracted by the fact that the Danish boy was wandering around the hallway. Seto could see his blond hair in the darkness, and he was heading downstairs and across the foyer at a run, which alarmed Seto. He had to chase after him to keep up, not feeling his feet hitting the ground as he tried catching up, and once outside near the grounds, he finally yelled the teen's name.

"Ivan," he called out, slowing down as he was out of breath, "Where are you going? Security will see you."

The boy didn't reply back. He just kept running and Seto couldn't keep up well, but he followed out of the grounds and into one of the guest houses in the woods. Seto didn't remember seeing them but he had heard of them from Isono, and apparently Ivan had a key, because he'd unlocked the door and didn't bother locking it behind him before Seto followed after.

It was small, like a cabin inside. Looking around, Seto finally caught up with Ivan, grabbing his shoulder and spinning around before he nearly fell over from shock.

"Jonouchi?" He narrowed his eyes, backing away and reaching for the door, "What were you doing in my house?"

"I had, uh, a job to do," His hazel eyes were avoiding looking up at Seto, but he looked upset, uncomfortable even, "But it's done now and we can hang out again. You wanna?"

Seto didn't exactly believe him. Jonouchi wasn't a part of the household and he sat on the edge of the bed trying to figure that out when he found himself being approached, Jonouchi moving close to his face before grinning at him.

"Did you steal something from the house?" asked Seto hesitantly.

"No, it wasn't that," Jonouchi muttered. "Really, I want to forget about what I had to do. Just relax and trust me. Close your eyes, I'm good at this..."

He could feel himself laying down, but Seto didn't remember thinking to do so. His head was resting on a pillow, and he watched unsure as Jonouchi started touching his chest, unzipping his pants and pulling them down past his hips before doing the same with his boxers. It reminded him of the pictures in his books and Seto wanted to say something, but his voice couldn't rise.

"You look tense, richie," teased Jonouchi as he took Seto's dick into his hand and began stroking the growing erection, "I know how to please a man."

Seto wanted to interject with a how, but then Jonouchi's mouth was on his head and he threw his head back into the pillow before he could question him. Everything became fuzzy and strange, his body growing hotter and lighter. He could feel his groin tensing as his hips bucked, and suddenly he shot up, looking out into darkness and finding himself alone in his bedroom.

And there was fresh ejaculate in his boxers.

"Dammit, you have to be fucking kidding me..." he grumbled.

Stumbling to the bathroom to clean up the mess, Seto's body still felt like it was recovering from sleep paralysis. His legs felt weak from having a nocturnal emission, but he didn't want to sit and wait before cleaning up. The warm, wet feeling in his underwear was quickly getting sticky and clingy as it cooled.

Once he'd dropped his underwear in his laundry hamper and cleaned up satisfactorily, he got back into bed, feeling uncomfortably stiff. He hadn't had much relief from the result of his dream, which only made him more cross. The dream itself, despite the eroticism, made him deeply uncomfortable, and he felt a strange sensation of guilt worming into him. He tried to brush that away, but he could feel it lurking in his mind regardless.

It had to be his subconscious toying with him, of course. Everything he'd had on his mind before bed thrown into one hot mess of a fantasy. It was the logical explanation, but he couldn't shake the disturbed feeling with which he'd been left after waking.

And, of course, there was the fact that he'd had an orgasm dreaming about Jonouchi, which addled his brain with all kinds of complicated questions. He chose to disregard them, opting for sleep instead. He felt chilly, his chest constricted, but he tried to get past it. There was nothing he could do about it, after all. His best option was getting as much sleep as he could before the night was over.

Still, the sickening feelings of guilt and shame continued to dog him until he lost consciousness again, and he felt an odd sense of dread for the coming morning, though it didn't seem sensible.