Chapter 4

Yamamoto wonders whether this was a good idea or not.

He cranes his head to look behind him, and his schoolmates' faces are all frozen in shock and horror. He looks at them—really looks at them—and he realizes that none of them actually knew him.

They never knew that Yamamoto's only solace is his father and their sushi shop. They never knew that Yamamoto plasters a grin on his face everyday just so no one calls him a buzzkill, so no one calls him out on being sad and depressed and two-faced. They never knew that he doesn't even want the attention. They never knew that baseball is literally the only thing in his life that actually makes him happy—and now…

He exerted effort on baseball. He tried to appease the baseball gods, whoever the hell they are or if they even exist. He gets a broken arm for his trouble, and that fact is distressing and disheartening.

He looks at his arm, the one in a cast and a sling, and to his other arm, the one holding the railing to the school roof as he dangles off the edge, and then to the students behind him, their muscles tense in anticipation. He's just gonna be a memory to them, he thinks. Just a sad memory, some wistful dream, a sudden jolt to the past when they're all grown up with a family of their own. They'll feel sad, maybe even guilty, but they won't truly care. Not really.

He jumps, and they scream.

:X:

"What the fuck were you thinking, you stupid piece of shit?!" Gokudera yells.

"That's just excessive." Tsuna grunts from underneath this…thing. She's almost sure that Reborn hired some random guy to drop from the school roof to land on top of her. Except, of course, for the fact that it's lunch time, and Reborn doesn't like to operate when he wants to eat. "If anything," she says as she pushes whoever just landed on her into the pavement beside her, "I should be the one cursing."

Her sides are throbbing, she's a little out of breath, her head hurts like hell, and there's a thought in her head that tells her that she really doesn't want to go back to a hospital.

The guy who fell on her groans, and he rolls on his back while cradling an arm that is wrapped in a cast and a sling. Blue eyes, dark hair. Really tall and very built.

Of course.

Yamamoto Takeshi looks at her. "Sawada?" he says, disbelieving. Gokudera takes her by her hand and pulls her to her feet. "I heard you were dead!" he blurts out, and Tsuna and Gokudera looks at him flatly.

"And you're not," Tsuna says lightly. Yamamoto turns red in the face. At least he looks ashamed. "Consider yourself lucky."

Yamamoto sits up and gives a short groan of pain before looking upward. Tsuna hears the faintest roar of voices that sounded like fright. Maybe there was a riot she hadn't known about.

"What were you doing?" Tsuna brusquely questions.

Yamamoto freezes at the question, before giving a nervous cough followed by an equally nervous laughter. "I just fell," he explains. "It's an accident. I was screwing around with my friends. It was really lucky that you were here."

Tsuna looks at him weirdly, and she narrows her eyes. "All right," she says, not believing a single word he is saying. She walks, and the sudden jolt of pain in her side surprises her.

"Sawada?" Gokudera approaches her with something akin to concern in his eyes.

"I don't want to be chained down to a hospital again," she says roughly. "Take me to the clinic. I'm pretty sure this idiot's fall did something to my insides."

Yamamoto's face scrunches up in guilt. "If it means anything at all, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to land on you," he apologizes.

"Well, you're alive, at least." Tsuna nudges Gokudera. "Clinic. Now."

"Bossy bitch," he grumbles and rolls his eyes, but he obliges her nonetheless. He wraps an arm around her shoulders for support and they steadily walk to the school doors.

"You must really enjoy dirty talk," Tsuna comments.

"Suck a cock."

"Thanks, but no."

As they banter, Tsuna suddenly realizes that Yamamoto is watching them walk away, and despite herself, she feels herself go hot. It's only a sudden realization, but this is the first time that Yamamoto Takeshi has ever paid any attention to Sawada Tsunayoshi. She's had the briefest crush on him when they were both in elementary, but Tsuna had known even then that Yamamoto would never return her affections.

They had actually ignored each other's existence for years, and Yamamoto probably never knew she existed if not from the rumors he's heard about her. And they never would have spoken at all if Gokudera hadn't been hounding her and annoying the shit out of her since first period.

And why did Yamamoto fall from the roof anyhow? His story couldn't have been legitimate—no one would be stupid enough to fall from the rooftop. It was a wide and open place surrounded by an aluminum steel fence and railing on the ledges. No one could—unless, of course, the fall had been intentional…

Just then, the school doors open, a dozen or so students filing out with vehemence and urgency. Some of the girls have tear tracks on their face, and many of them have their faces contorted into a look of frozen shock.

"Yamamoto!" a boy in front exclaims, and they all begin rushing to him. Gokudera and Tsuna watch them as they do, all of them talking and yelling as they gather around him.

"Don't do that again, geez!" a girl cries out. "Did you lose your mind?!"

Yamamoto, in the center of it all, just gives them all a stilted smile. "I wasn't thinking clearly. Sorry, guys!" He looks up. Tsuna meets his gaze.

She raises a very judgmental eyebrow, and she turns away.

:X:

"It's just a temporary bout of pain. It'll be gone in a few minutes. Or hours, give or take," Shamal supplies to Tsuna, who looks at him as though he was currently committing the most grievous act of sin. She scoots in the lumpy bed of the clinic, creating distance between them. "Stop looking at me like that. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a killer when you stare? God, I need a drink."

"One, I've always looked like this, and two, we're in a school filled with underage teenagers. Why would you drink?" Tsuna says flatly. "In fact, why are you here at all? Where's the actual doctor?"

"There wasn't an actual doctor," a squeaky voice pipes up, and Tsuna has to control her urge to scream as Reborn appears from above her and jumps on her bed. And through the ventilation system, of course. "So when Shamal applied for the job, he was hired immediately."

"And by no actual doctor you really meant you threatened the previous doctor to leave," Tsuna says, blunt. Reborn only smiles.

"Let me guess," Gokudera mutters angrily from his corner in the room, glaring daggers at Shamal, "you didn't include the fact that you've killed at least eighty men, and majority of the diseases your patients got came from you."

"Details." Shamal waves his hand, clearly unaffected by Gokudera's sour mood. "Besides, I needed a job. I'm still gonna have to observe little miss heiress here." He nods offhandedly to Tsuna's direction. "I don't know what you two are whining about. My presence actually benefits you. Sawada with her unfortunate disease and unfortunate breast size—"

"I'm thirteen," Tsuna says impatiently. "Is it even legal for him to say those things? In fact, is it even legal for you to come anywhere near me? You harassed me when I was your patient."

"You're not one to talk about legalities, Tsunayoshi," Reborn tells her, to which she gives an indignant huff.

"—and you, Hayato," Shamal continues as he looks at Gokudera and promptly ignores Tsuna. "That stunt you pulled that almost got her killed—that's a big no-no. I thought you better than that."

Tsuna raises her eyebrows in bemusement. She hadn't know that the two had a history together. Reborn, surprisingly, kept Shamal's origin and appearance to himself. Admittedly, Tsuna never asked.

"I have class," Gokudera then says coldly after a heated glare at the doctor. He doesn't even turn to acknowledge her as he storms out of the clinic.

"Pissy brat," Shamal grumbles, albeit dejectedly. His eyes turn to her. "And you. You just—just rest for, like, an hour or so. I have to attend to another patient. It's male this time. I told them I don't treat males, but do they listen? Obviously, no, because this school—fuck it—" He mutters out the last few parts as he leaves Tsuna with Reborn.

The baby turns to her. "So," he casually starts, "what happened?"

"I should be asking you that question," Tsuna says, pondering on Gokudera and Shamal. She receives a sharp kick to the head. Tsuna looks at Reborn, clutching her head in her hands, fingers catching on the short tufts of hair. "Really? You had to do that?"

"You were being insubordinate," Reborn says matter-of-factly. Tsuna almost rolls her eyes, smoothly making an impassive face. "Now, what happened to you that merited a visit to the doctor?"

"A student fell on me," Tsuna says.

Reborn frowns. "You must be so weak to—"

"He fell from the roof," she cuts in flatly. "I was standing in the way of his blossoming love with the pavement."

Reborn snorts at that. "I assume that the cement lover is the exact same person on the other side of the curtain." He gestures to the white curtain that separates Tsuna's bed from the others.

"He's here?"

"Went through the other door." A pause. "Does he have a cast? He might not be the same person."

"Yeah." Tsuna shifts in the bed. "Black hair. Blue eyes. Tall." Freakishly tall. And pretty fucking stupid.

"Hm." Reborn tilts his head and lets out a sharp exhale. "My statement still stands, you know. A mafia boss shouldn't be so weak from such a small impact."

Tsuna blinks, and she can't help but raise an eyebrow. "Reborn, you know that—"

"Yes, he fell from the rooftop and landed on you." He waves it off. "Point is, you're going to suffer worse, and to be honest, something as small as this sending you crying to the nurse?"

"I didn't cry—"

"Vongola will weep rivers of blood." Reborn 'tsk'ed at her and jumps off of her bed. "Out of pity, I will give you time to adjust. But training starts Saturday. My students have always been successes. You're not going to be my one failure."

Tsuna gives a huff. "Reborn, I—" she starts as she turns to look at him.

Fuck him, he's gone. Tsuna lies down into the bed and breathes in deeply. Training with Reborn doesn't really seem like such a bad idea. After being prone for 5 days and not doing much action since Uncle Kawahira left her—even when he had told her he was leaving two weeks ago, she kind of resented him for not even leaving a note that said goodbye when she went by his shop and found a sign in front that had exclaimed 'FOR SALE' in big bold letters—some training may do her some good.

"Sawada?"

She closes her eyes. Did Yamamoto hear their entire conversation? "Yamamoto," she says after much hesitation.

There is a short intake of breath. "What were you talking about? Um, with the…baby?"

She doesn't answer. What should she be answering anyway? That all that talk with Reborn was 'family business'? What kind of business requires someone to experience something worse than a human body falling on you from a hundred feet away? And what business calls the boss a mafia boss?

The mafia, that's what.

"I'm not allowed to ask questions, am I?" Yamamoto says tentatively.

Tsuna clicks her tongue. "Not really, no." Why did Reborn even talk about Vongola so openly anyway? He's kept it secret from her mother, but he doesn't seem to make it a point to hide it from her classmates. The only explainable reason would be that he wants to recruit—oh, that piece of shit.

"It's okay," Yamamoto says, and she hears the raspy sound of hair against fabric. Reborn can't be planning to recruit Yamamoto, can he? "I don't think I want to know anyway."

You really don't, Tsuna thinks. She burrows herself deeper in the bed, pulling the thin linen blanket over her body. She would still have to go back to class the next period, but the peacefulness of the clinic is something she welcomes after dealing with Gokudera, Reborn, and Shamal all at once.

"Sawada? Can I ask you a question?" Yamamoto quickly adds, "About your absence last week, not the conversation between you and the baby! I heard you were some kind of victim of terrorists before you were sent to the hospital."

"Terrorists?" Tsuna repeats, a little incredulously. Gokudera can be considered a terrorist, in some situations, at least.

"There were explosions from the rooftop," Yamamoto explains helpfully. "And then there was a bright fire—I didn't see it myself, I just heard it from the other students. But there are still craters on the rooftop from the, uh, terrorists."

"There weren't any terrorists," Tsuna clarifies. "Just…" God, what the hell is she supposed to say? If Reborn actually plans on recruiting Yamamoto, she doesn't have to lie, but there's always a chance that she's wrong about his intentions. "Just a prank gone wrong," she finished. "Involves cherry bombs and chemicals from the lab. It wasn't supposed to go horribly wrong." Cherry bombs can't really make craters, but hopefully, Yamamoto will let that one slide.

"Ah." Yamamoto sounds dubious, but fortunately, he seems to let it go. "You were sent to the hospital. And you…had a haircut."

Tsuna touches her hair, soft but very, very short. She grabs a handful, and more than a few strands escape. "The bombs singed my hair. They had to cut it short."

"You don't have any burn scars, though."

Tsuna freezes. "I was just thrown from the impact. Hit my head, burnt my hair, inhaled some of the chemicals," she lies easily. "Sent to the hospital where I wasn't allowed to move for five days."

Yamamoto snorts. "At least you're still alive," he says lightly, and Tsuna knows that the words weigh more than he let on.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tsuna says.

There's a brief pause. "Sure."

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" Tsuna asks flatly.

Yamamoto makes a noise. "I—I wasn't trying to—you misunderstood the—" he sputters, and anyone can see how much of a horrible liar he was.

"Yamamoto," Tsuna says, "why?"

"…I was—" He gives a heavy sigh. "I was miserable. I didn't like my friends, I didn't enjoy my life. Baseball's all I have, and I can't even play in the semi-finals because of—" He makes a sound in the back of his throat "—and, yeah. I just don't think my life's worth living."

Tsuna doesn't even know what to say to that. All her life, after all, she's always had a motivation, a goal to reach. She's never thought of dying or wanting to die before reaching it. "It's just a broken arm," she says after a few moments of silence. "It heals. And there's always someone, or something, that you'll want to get back to. You don't want to die because you want to see them again." She turns over, so that she faces the curtain that divides her and Yamamoto. She can see his shadow, lying on the bed, body turned to the side. "You can't just give up just because you think there's no more hope left in you."

Vongola's still standing. That doesn't mean that Tsuna isn't doing the same.

Yamamoto is silent, before he says, "Thanks. I needed that." He pauses, as though he's hesitating to say any more. "Sawada? Can I ask you one more question?"

Tsuna's eyebrows furrow. "What?"

"Are you and Gokudera Hayato dating?"

Had Tsuna been a lesser person, she would be sputtering. "What?" she deadpans. "No! What made you think that?"

Yamamoto sounds sheepish. "Nothing, just. You just seem like you are."

Tsuna rolls on her back. She can only hope that no one else thinks the same.

:X:

Yamamoto doesn't quite know what's going on, but he does know that Sawada is pissed, to some degree.

Her hand is clenched to a fist, and it shakes by her side as she banters with the baby—Reborn? What kind of name is that?—and he knows that he's angry despite how impassive she looks. It's how his dad gets angry, with quiet words and a blank face paired with a clenched fist and rough voice.

They're in the school's baseball court, no one around except for them. He sits on the bench next to the new guy, Gokudera Hayato, who sneers at him as he lights a cigarette. Yamamoto gives him a grin, and Gokudera scoffs in reply.

"—you can't just involve everyone in your schemes, Reborn—"

"—he has potential—"

"—he doesn't even know what's going on—"

"—I'll explain everything if he passes—"

Gokudera blows smoke directly to his face. Yamamoto wrinkles his nose before waving his hand to clear the air. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't really know why he's out here in the first place. He only meant to have his lunch with Tsuna—and despite Gokudera being there, her company was a welcome respite—and, well…

"—Reborn—"

"—Dame-Tsuna—"

Sawada and the baby engage in the most intense staring competition that Yamamoto has ever seen in his life. He turns to Gokudera, who throws the cigarette butt on the ground and crushes it underneath his shoe. He's pretty sure that littering isn't allowed. In fact, cigarettes aren't allowed.

"Do they do that a lot?" Yamamoto gestures to Sawada and Reborn.

"Shut the fuck up." Gokudera shakes out another stick out of his pack.

He's very mean, Yamamoto thinks as the other teen lights the end of the cigarette.

"—if he dies, it's on you—"

"—a mafia boss knows when to take the blame—"

"—this isn't one of them, Reborn, and you know it—"

"—it's a simple test—"

They argue more. Yamamoto finds it hard to keep up with their conversation. What test are they even talking about? He hadn't studied for anything. Oh, man, is he going to disappoint Sawada by failing? Hopefully, the test's sport-related. But then again, he's still wearing the cast—the doctors told him, however, that it can be removed in a week.

"Fine, since we've reached an impasse," Reborn says loudly, halting whatever Sawada was about to say, "you're going to have the test with him."

Sawada looks at him with a deadpan expression that didn't give Yamamoto much to think about, but the baby looks triumphant.

"I just got out of the hospital, Reborn," Sawada then interjects. "I don't really fancy going back in there."

Reborn waves her worries away, though Yamamoto was inclined to disagree with him. "You'll be fine," he says. "Gokudera won't do you any harm, though it would really be better if he lived, too. Less bodies to clean up afterward."

Yamamoto shoots a glance at Gokudera, who is now fiddling with his lighter, and says, "Wait, did he just say that I might die and you're gonna be the reason for it?"

Gokudera looks at him once and he blows smoke through the side of his mouth. "Yes," he says simply, which is the only straightforward answer that Yamamoto had gotten out of him since the beginning of lunch.

Quite frankly, Yamamoto is scared shitless. So he laughs, as he always did when he was nervous before a big game, or when he handled some of his dad's customers at the sushi bar and he blanked at making California rolls.

"See, Dame-Tsuna?" Reborn gestures to Yamamoto, who remains smiling. He feels beads of sweat roll down the nape of his neck. "He's all right with it; I don't see why you're getting so worked up about this."

Sawada slides her gaze to Yamamoto, and his grin turns much more forced. She narrows her eyes. "He's nervous," she states frankly.

"Details." Again, Reborn waves off Sawada's worries. "Gokudera," he then calls, motioning to him, who was still smoking a cigarette.

Gokudera jumps up to stand. "Yes, Reborn-san?" he says eagerly. He almost seemed like a dog or something. It's so unlike the taciturn Gokudera who barely answered any of Yamamoto's questions. Rude.

"Ready your bombs," Reborn says, his voice filled with vigor. "Dame-Tsuna, Yamamoto…well, if you aren't fast runners, I can only hope you're good dodgers."

Sawada curses. A dynamite explodes just beside her, close enough to make her flinch but not enough to injure her.

Ah, shit, Yamamoto thinks, and he runs to her.

End of Chapter

:X:

A/N: I haven't updated for so long lmao what is happening I hate myself orz