"…I'd be safe and warm, I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A., if I was in L.A.

California dreamin', California dreamin'
On such a winter's day

Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees, got down on my knees
And I pretend to pray, I pretend to pray
You know the preacher like the cold, preacher like the cold
He knows I'm gonna stay

California dreamin', California dreamin'
On such a winter's day…"

~ "California Dreamin'" – Robot Koch & Delhia de France

April, 1992…

Tig's face ached like a motherfucker.

His ribs felt like someone had slipped a blade between them repeatedly and he was certain that at least four were fractured. Breathing hurt and when Chibs offered him an oxy for the pain, Tig took it without any smart ass comments. The Scotsman had a blood covered toweled thrown over his shoulder as he surveyed the damage done by Clay's fists in the ring earlier that evening. It had taken four guys to haul Clay off him and Tig felt the damage that his VP had done to him. JT hadn't said a word as the whole thing had gone down. The man had simply stood still with an indescribable expression on his face as Gemma had stood next to him, gnawing at her perfectly manicured nails while Clay pummeled his ass.

It was late Friday night and it didn't matter that tomorrow there would be a sit down with the Mayans to figure out who the fuck had tried to kill the VP's daughter. Clay was convinced that the drive-by at Tig's house had happened because Joanna was there. Her protection had been doubled per his orders and it surprised no one that Clay was possibly being slightly overprotective. NOMADS had come to offer their support and although the clubhouse was packed and his living room was filled with holes, Tig still was sleeping there. The Crow Eaters had come by and cleaned his house, but he hadn't really been able to change or replace anything. Everything was in the exact same spot that it had been when Joanna had been there.

Clay hadn't been merciful when he'd found them together.

He'd yanked Joanna out of the house with nothing but Luann's trench coat on and those stockings as she'd yelled at him to stop. Outside, he'd heard the worst fighting match between a father and daughter. It had been like Joanna and Clay were hell-bent on being louder than the other and no one had mentioned hearing any part of their fight. Tig hadn't seen her since that night and assumed that Clay had her ass on lockdown. From the small bits he'd been able to gather from Bobby, Joanna was not happy about being shadowed by two Sons and kept at home when she wasn't at school.

Chibs offered him a bottle of whiskey and he grabbed it. Drowning some down, Tig grimaced and coughed a little as pain raced through his bruised body. Just the thought of Joanna in that cheerleader's uniform made him grow hard again. He was a dirty old man, but she was one of two women in his life that he wanted to keep around, the other being Gemma Teller. The desire that he felt for Joanna had never been matched. Not even his bitch ex-wife had been able to make him hard with just a thought of her, not like Jo could. Colleen hadn't been able to keep his interest. He had never lain down in bed at night thinking about Colleen like he'd been thinking about Joanna. Grabbing the bottle back, Chibs drowned some liquor before setting the bottle down on the table and shaking his head.

"Tell me that you're not crazy enough to try and go 'ack to her aft'r all this, brother," Chibs sighed quietly. "Clay will kill you if you go after Joanna again."

"He already tried to kill me," Tig grumbled and winced as he held his ribs. "Jesus, no ass beating in war ever hurt this badly. Fuck."

"Hear, hear."

Before Tig or Chibs could say another word, Clay walked into the empty club room with Bobby following him. The newest patch member, Bobby, was Joanna's uncle and Tig wondered briefly if Bobby was hoping to have a go at him too. He didn't think that he could even raise his fists to defend himself. Clay didn't look bad at all considering that Tig hadn't really made an effort to fight his VP. In some deep part of his mind, Tig was aware that Clay had every right to beat the shit out of him. However, Tig also reminded himself that Joanna had picked him. She hadn't gone after Chibs or any other patch like she could have. Joanna had come after him and that sent a thrill down his spine that he silently refused to acknowledge openly or even think about.

Nothing good could ever come out of being with her.

The realization was painful and Tig wasn't a man that was usually touchy-feely with his emotions, but he recognized that sleeping with Joanna wasn't a good idea. She was half his age and she had barely experienced life.

He was hardened by life.

He'd dealt with things that she'd never been forced to face. He'd been molested by his father, forced into the Marines, he'd been helpless to stop his ex-wife to stop aborting pregnancies that he'd wanted, and he was a Son. He was something dangerous and that was what probably attracted her. She wasn't attracted to his body or his personality, Joanna was attracted to the thrill that he offered and he imagined that she was a thrill seeker. She seemed like the type.

Why else would she walk to his house in the dark when the Club was at war with the Mayans?

It wasn't because she liked him. Tig was certain of that. No one, not even his mother, had ever really liked him for who he actually was.

"You end the shit you have going on with my daughter and you end it now," Clay threatened, pointing a bloody, burly finger at him. "I don't care if you break her heart or tell her that she was a good fuck, but you end this shit. She's going off to school and you are a distraction that she doesn't need. You hear me? My daughter is not a crow eater! You want your dick sucked? Find one of those whores to do it for you. End this shit with Joanna by Sunday or I'll kill you."

Tig wanted to argue.

He wanted to fight Clay and tell him that Joanna had come after him. He wanted to clear the air that he hadn't sought her out for a quick fuck. Hell, Tig couldn't even call it fucking because with Joanna it didn't seem right. She wasn't a crow eater and she wasn't some hooker. Telling Clay that Joanna sought him out would only make things worse. It would appear that he was trying to shift the blame for what had happened and even though that wasn't the case that would be what Clay heard.

Clay left without another word and the room was quiet. Chibs leaned against the table and took another gulp of whiskey before sighing loudly and murmuring how 'everything had gone to shite'. Bobby was still rooted to the spot where he'd been standing throughout Clay's speech with a torn expression on his face. Tig wanted to demand an answer to what the secretary of the club wanted, but for the first time in his life, he didn't have words.

"Break it gently," Bobby said quietly after a minute of silence. "Things between Joanna and Clay…she doesn't need any more heartache. If you could use this moment to push them back together, I'd be grateful, brother."

"What are you talking about, Bobby?" Tig finally demanded in a raspy voice, finally caving and grabbing an ice pack that had been set out on the table for him.

"Clay told her that you were only after pussy and it would be only a matter of time before someone else caught your interest. She's in denial that you were using her until something better came along and that's what she and Clay have been fighting about. She's adamant that you think she's more than just a good tumble between the sheets."

"And what do you think?" Chibs demanded.

"I think that she's right, Tig. But for her sake, you'll do what Clay wants," Bobby said as his eyes shift from Chibs to Tig. "You'll break her heart because Clay is asking you to not tie her to SAMCRO and if you care about this club, you won't let her come between you and your brothers. We have bigger problems to deal with and we need unity now more than ever."

Bobby left without another word and Tig yanked the bottle of whiskey back from Chibs as he applied the ice pack to his ribs.

"What a damn mess," Chibs murmured again and Tig stood up, hoping that by finishing the bottle of whiskey, it would drown out the horrible reality of what he was going to have to do. Contrary to popular belief and the reputation that he'd made for himself, Tig did have some feelings beneath his hard exterior. He and Joanna had sex and although he didn't love her, he didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying things that he didn't mean.

Joanna stood in the backyard of the house that Clay owned in nothing but skimpy shorts and a tank top. Normally, she liked being outside and admiring the garden and house, but she wasn't happy with it. The house that Clay had bought for her mother before she'd been born as a symbol of his commitment to family mocked her today. She nearly scoffed out loud at the thought of her mother and the word 'family'. From the few bits and pieces that she'd gathered over the years from Uncle Bobby, Patty Munson had a comfortable life in Georgia and Joanna resented the fact that her mother had gone on to marry another man and have children. Clay didn't know that she knew, but Joanna hated that she wasn't enough to keep Patty around. The sight of the house was almost too much. With its supposed promise of commitment and love, Joanna didn't really give a damn why her father had bought the house. He hadn't really lived there since shit had gone sideways with the Mayans six months earlier. He was too busy at the clubhouse and slept in Gemma's bed. He was a fool if he didn't think that everyone around the club didn't know that the pair were fucking.

Most of the landscaping had been done by Joanna as had the decorating of the interior of the house. She usually took pride in her garden, but today she didn't really see the flowers that were being overwatered. She was too busy thinking about the fights she'd been having with her father. Clay didn't approve of Tig being in her life and she had barely been able to control herself and not throw the fact that he was sleeping with Gemma in his face. Her father judging her for sleeping with Tig was like the pot calling the kettle black and she resented it. No, she hated it. Hearing the back door open, she turned and looked to see Jax Teller walking down the back steps alone. She huffed and continued watering her flowers.

"Heard you stirred up shit, Jo," he said conversationally as he came to stand next to her. Raising the cigarette she had lit awhile back, Joanna took a long drag and breathed it out. She moved the water hose to the next flower bed and walked barefoot in the grass away from Teller.

"Did you come here to give me more goddamned grief?" she asked with a bored tone, flicking the end of her cigarette. "My father, Bobby, Piney, and now you, the Prince of Charming, have come to tell me how I should live my life. I'm fucking thrilled as can be."

"Don't call me the 'Prince of Charming'," Jax sighed as he stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. "I hate that nickname."

"Why are you here?" Joanna demanded again with a frown as she looked over her shoulder for a moment before looking back at her flower beds.

"I was gonna ask why Tig of all people," Jax told her with a shrug. "Ma was right and I lost fifty bucks. That's the only beef I have this week. I'm just here 'cause I'm curious, not to judge or anything like that."

Joanna scoffed and looked over her shoulder at him again with an expression that demanded elaboration of his first statement. Jax sighed and ran a hand through his tussled blonde hair and took out his own pack of smokes. He lit one, breathed in, and exhaled before looking at her.

"Ma knew that something was up with you, but she didn't say anything," he finally told her. "I said that it was school and she disagreed. I lost fifty bucks. I don't care what you did with him, I just have to ask why Tig of all people."

Joanna shook her head, "Why Tara? You could have any girl you wanted, so why her, Jax?"

Jax didn't say anything and Joanna kept overwatering the flowers. She briefly thought about the heart attack that Clay would have when he got the water bill for next month, but she smiled at the thought. It would serve him right for involving himself in her business. She understood his whole 'I'm the parent, you're the child' angle, but Joanna wanted to desperately point out that she wasn't a child any more. She was a young woman who knew who she wanted and wasn't afraid to go after the object of her desire.

"So, Tig is that good in bed, huh?" Jax finally asked with a shit-eating grin on his face. "I know that you're not going after him because he's the perfect model of a sane man. Tig's one of the most fucked up individuals around here. I just can't figure it out."

"Jax, I don't want to talk to you," she said with finality in her bored tone. "You really have nothing to do with this. I still can't figure out what the fuck you see in meek little Tara Knowles, but I don't poke around your business, do I?"

"Fair enough," he conceded, but he didn't leave. Instead, Jax moved to sit on the patio furniture in the shade and smoked. It was easy enough to ignore him and if Joanna was extremely honest with herself, it felt nice to have someone around who wasn't judging her or giving her grief because she'd gotten caught with Tig Trager. Slipping one of her hands into the back pockets of shorts, Joanna stared at the flowers and heard the back door open. The prospect that had been assigned to watch her, Kyle Hobert, was a pain in the ass and she hoped that he was coming to tell her that he was leaving. She could see desire in his eyes and he made her nervous. Turning, she saw that Hobart stood on the steps.

"Call for you on the landline," he said gruffly and uncomfortably stared at her tits.

Sighing, Joanna turned off the water and walked back to the house. The phone was on the wall in the kitchen and she sat down on the bench near it. Grabbing it and winding the cord around her fingers by habit, Joanna let out a deep breath. Jax followed her in and threatened Kyle with bodily harm if he didn't leave her alone for the phone call. The threat worked and Jax followed the prospect out of the kitchen as she mouthed a 'thank you' to the Prince of Charming. Finally alone, Joanna lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said quietly, not knowing who was on the other end of the phone.

"It's me, doll."

His slightly raspy voice sent her heart racing and pressed a hand to her chest as she drew her knees up to her chest. Hearing Tig's voice made her feel slightly light headed and she couldn't deny the effect he had on her when he called her 'doll'. She knew that it was his only term of an endearment that he used towards Gemma and other women that he respected, but hearing him say it to her made her feel special and her heart race.

"Hi," she breathed with a smile on her face. "How are you? Clay hasn't been too rough with you, has he?"

There was a slight pause on the other end of the phone and she held her breath.

"No," Tig finally said. "No, I'm fine. Listen, can you meet me at Mallard Park on Beecham Road at five?"

"Okay. Why?"

He said nothing and a moment later, the line went dead. Joanna stared at the receiver and wondered exactly what the hell was going on. Jax snaked his way back into the kitchen with a frown on his face as he reached for his pack of smokes again.

"Who was that?"

"No one," she said before standing up and looking at the clock. It was twenty until five and she almost snorted.

It was just like Tig to give her barely any notice. He seemed to do that well.

Joanna pulled her jeep into the parking spot across from the pavilion. She could see the lone figure of Tig sitting on one of the picnic table under the pavilion. Killing the engine, she walked across the gravel parking lot and passed his bike. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. Shit was about to hit the proverbial fan and she could feel it deep down. The coming minutes would not be pleasant. She wanted to wrap the light sweater that she'd thrown on before she'd left the house around her like a safety blanket. Walking down the stone path the pavilion, Joanna shivered once in the shade. The sun wasn't there to warm her skin and she felt an impending sense of doom settle inside her chest. Joanna pushed the aviator sunglasses she wore up to the top of her head, letting out a deep breath.

"Hey," she said softly, walking around the table to where he was sitting. A cigarette was between his lips and he wore his sunglasses. Joanna winced at the bruises and moved to cup his cheeks, but he pushed her hands away and stood up. The rejection she felt was surprising. She hadn't expected to feel so hurt and she told herself that she was being ridiculous. Of course, he didn't want to be touched. He was hurting and she had to make it alright, but she couldn't touch him to do it.

"I'm sorry for my dad," she murmured. Tig didn't say anything and it made her nervous. A small voice in the back of her head told her that she was going to hurt. Whatever Tig had called her to the park for wasn't good. She could already feel pain building inside her and a dull ache was forming in her stomach. Whatever Joanna had been expecting him to say, she wasn't prepared for the words that came out of Tig Trager's mouth.

"Tig," she murmured, moving across the pavement towards him, desperate to touch him and soothe whatever was wrong with him.

"This, uh, thing between us, doll, it has to stop. It ends today and we're gonna act like we never fucked each other."

"What?" Joanna said, shocked by his words. "No, this is just a knee jerk reaction from my dad. Let me smooth things over with him."

She was close to him and she closed the distance between them. She could smell the intoxicating mix of leather, cologne, and cigarette. Pressing her hands to his chest, Joanna pressed kisses against his jaw and murmured over and over again how she wanted him and that they shouldn't care what others thought. Nothing she did seemed to have an effect on him though and he stood like a statue. It scared Joanna, and the kisses that she pressed against his skin became more desperate as tears gathered in the back of her eyes.

"You can't tell me that you don't feel something for me," she whispered, fisting the front of his shirt. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think that no one else is watching. Don't do this."

He shoved her arms away from him roughly and she stumbled back, feeling more hurt than she did before. She couldn't stop herself from reaching out and grabbing his hand. They both looked down at the physical connection between them before he looked at her.

"You were a good fuck, doll," he said with an uncaring shrug. "A good fuck, a good time, but that shit is over and done."

"You're only saying that because—"

"The school girl routine gets me every time," Tig snapped, his voice cold and hard. "You know how many hookers have gotten me with it? Don't think that because we fucked on your birthday and you came over to my house that it means anything. Don't be one of those stupid bitches that let two fucks equal a relationship and shit like that. You're smarter than that. You know it and I know it. Don't be a dumb bitch, Morrow."

Joanna removed her hands from his like it had physically burnt her and she took a step back. Every fear that she'd ever had was materializing before her and she couldn't stop the way her bottom lip quivered. She was meant to be his old lady, didn't he understand that?

"Alexander," she said softly, letting his name flow from her lips like a prayer. "You don't mean that."

"I do," he replied in a hard, cold voice. "You were a good fuck and you suck dick like whores twice your age. It was a beautiful thing. It was fun, but it can't happen anymore. Pussy doesn't come between Sons and especially not your girly pussy."

Without another word, Tig left her standing alone in the pavilion and walked to his bike. Joanna hugged herself tightly as she watched him put his helmet on and gun the engine. From behind his dark sunglasses, he stared at her for a full minute and Joanna hoped silently that he'd come back to her. She imagined him kissing her and telling her that he didn't mean any of the words he'd said…but he didn't. Tig backed the bike up a few steps for revving the engine and speeding away.

When he was out of sight, Joanna collapsed down one the bench he'd been sitting on earlier and took a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to hold back her tears.

Hello! I have decided to add to this story! Leave a review and let me know what you think!:)