Knight wasn't even going to try and lie to himself - he was devastated.

The past few weeks all seemed to catch up to him in a rush and suddenly it was all he could think about. The life he'd left behind, his family and friends, his shitty apartment. All if it was out of his reach now.

Also his dick, he was really, really missing his dick.

Knight stared down at his legs, clad in pale pink stockings and thin as reeds, and frowned thunderously.

Yuki and Kaien had been giving him a wide berth. Kaien because Knight had thrown a lamp at his head the last time he'd tried to cross the threshold and Yuki because Knight had explicitly told Kaien to keep her away for a bit. He needed time to sort his head out and even he could admit that it would be impossible to straighten himself out if he was worried about upsetting Yuki with every frown and curse.

There had been a lot of frowning and cursing.

Knight knocked his head back against the bed frame and groaned aloud when he caught sight of his reflection in the vanity mirror.

He'd accidentally knocked it over yesterday in a fit of anger but now, when he was sitting on the floor, legs splayed amongst the tatters of a pink frock he'd torn apart, the mirror sat at eye level once again. The thin cracks spidering out from one corner distorted half of his face but the other half of his new visage looked as pale and perfect as ever. Unnaturally so.

Of course there had to be something vampiric about this ghostly body with it's icy eyes and sharp little fingernails. Of fucking course.

He squinted his eyes and tried to superimpose his old face onto the cracked half of the glass. He tried to imagine a broad nose and tanned cheeks with a mop of unruly blond hair but the broken mirror refused to indulge his little fantasy. Cold eyes stared out at him, a small pink mouth twisted up into a sneer.

Great, now he was judging himself.

Back when he'd been Elliot he may not have had the best life in the entire world but it had been his life. His to fuck up and make mistakes in. His to forge friendships and make enemies and waste away in dead end jobs to his heart's content.

But now here he was, torn away from all that, forced to play the secret little princess in a tower to blood sucking freaks.

Knight staunchly ignored the little voice in his head that reminded him that he was one of those aforementioned freaks. And a pathetic one at that. Knight closed his eyes and remembered what Kaien had told him through the closed door that now separated Knight from the rest of the world.

~"Your body is rejecting your vampiric nature, from what we can tell. You are neither truly human nor vampire and your body is suffering under the weight of that battle in your blood." his voice had been smooth, calm and without pity or inflection and that more than anything else had made Knight open the door a fraction.

Kaien's face looked lined, in the light of the oil lamp set next to the door, older and tired but still without a trace of pity.

"We are unsure as to what quality of life you will have but I wont apologise again for trying to keep you alive." Kaien continued, he didn't kneel down to Knight's level like he had so often before and Knight had to try and stop himself from shivering at the weight behind the man's normally placid gaze.

"If blood is all that it takes then what reason do you have to refuse?"~

And wasn't that the crux of it? Even after that small dose of Kaname's blood Knight felt immeasurably better and he hadn't thrown up at all since. He felt brighter, stronger, strong enough to rip the vanity mirror off of it's holdings and onto the floor. Knight felt a pain he hadn't even known he'd carried within him lift from his bones and it made him feel light-headed.

And the worst of it all was that Kaname had given it freely, secretly and apparently without any strings attached and Knight felt like an idiot for even considering refusing any more.

He could still taste it though. When he woke up in the morning with the memory of copper coating the back of his throat instead of morning breath. He'd complained of it to Kaien and had gotten a laugh and a ruffle of his hair.

"Haha, you've got a human tongue and a vampire's stomach. What a strange beast you are."

It had been said affectionately enough but it cut somewhere beneath Knight's skin. A dark place in his mind, beneath all the rage and loss and helplessness, that reminded him that he was stuck in some kind of Frankenstein body, a monster.

Knight sighed tiredly and his reflection bowed it's head with him as he curled up on the fabric strewn floor. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would leave the room and try and deal with all this bullshit properly. But for the rest of tonight he just wanted to wallow and mourn the life he'd left behind.

"We're going to the park!" Yuki told him, a wide grin stretching across her pretty face.

Knight felt a stirring of interest and turned to look at her fully, putting down the book on world history he'd been flicking through to try and get a grasp on the strange universe he'd ended up living in.

"The park? Really?"

Yuki's head bobbed up and down, excitement painting a flush across her pale cheeks.

"Yeah! And Mister Kay said that there'd be swings an' slides an' dogs!" she enthused. Her excitement was contagious and Knight felt a smile begin to tug at the corners of his mouth.

In truth, despite his decision to try and put his past behind him, he'd been rather dour since his little breakdown two weeks prior and doubtlessly this little trip was a design by Kaien to shake him out of his mood.

Either that or they were really going to the dentist or something and it was punishment for getting Yuki to call him 'Mister Kay' instead of papa. But like hell was any sibling of his going to call that gangly bastard 'dad'.

"Well, I guess we'd better wrap up then?" he said and Yuki's grin widened impossibly further.

"It's okay! Mister Kay has our coats in the hall! Let's go, let's go!" she said, impatiently tugging him up out of the sofa. Yuki was strong for a girl her age. Either that or Knight was just weak which... was also a possibility given that he hadn't had another dosage of Kaname's blood since the first time and his health was beginning to wane noticeably.

Still, he forced a proper smile onto his face and allowed Yuki to lead him out into the hallway where Kaien was waiting like a deranged scarecrow, two sets of winter wear held in his hands and a disturbing grin on his face.

"Something about that smile looks unwholesome." Knight told him, squinting up in suspicion until he was unceremoniously smacked in the face with a wad of fabric.

Knight flailed and then swiped the coat off his head with a scowl. He opened his mouth to complain.

"What the hel-"

And was immediately hit with a pair of gloves that smacked off his indignant nose and straight onto the floor. Yuki was cackling, delighted with the gobsmacked look on his face, and Kaien was grinning smugly.

"Put those on now, Knight. The car's waiting out front!" he chirped and Knight considered, for a moment, just turning around and going back to his book. He'd been getting to a good part on the rise and fall of a band of rogue Vampire Hunters and the political ramifications of their dispersion when Yuki had interrupted him...

"Come on, Knight!" Yuki said, a little impatiently, and he looked up to see she'd already shrugged into her jacket and was now pulling velveteen gloves up over her little hands. She had her hood up and Knight groaned internally at the sight of pink cat-like ears sewn into the material. Doubtlessly his had the exact same adornments.

A quick inspection of the cream coloured coat in his hands confirmed this. Two floppy cream bunny ears hung proudly from the top of the hood. Knight opened his mouth and closed it, looking between Yuki and Kaien's expectant faces.

"...fine." he groused, feeling a small part of his soul die as he pulled the coat on and fastened up the buttons. He'd barely scooped the gloves back up off the floor before Yuki grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out the door.

It was snowing outside but that was nothing new. They seemed to be living in some kind of snowy tundra where sheets of the stuff fell every night, making the world feel muffled and quiet, like you could scream and scream and the snow would just swallow it all up.

Knight was abruptly reminded of the first night he'd spent in this hellscape at the sight of a sleek black car waiting for them at the foot of the steps. A man he didn't recognise stood from the driver's side and opened the back door for them to enter.

Knight shot Kaien a wary look but the man just smiled encouragingly and sat down, taking Yuki with him. She scampered eagerly in to the car and waved a hand for Knight to hurry up, and excited grin taking up half of her face. Her excitement struck Knight as strange for a moment before he realized-

It would be their first proper trip away from the house and abruptly Knight was hit by the enormity of that.

He could… they could…

He felt a cold wash of reality trickle down his spine.

What? He could what? Knight felt a stone settle in his stomach as his feet began to leadenly move towards the open car door. He was a weak almost-vampire stuck in the body of a spindly five year old with a dependent sister and no money, contacts or means of taking care of himself. He couldn't do anything.

Knight nodded absently as Yuki chided him to put on his seatbelt and clicked the belt in place mechanically. He couldn't do anything…

It was clear this world wasn't the one he was familiar with, whether this was all just some sick dream or reality he had to treat it like it was real. It felt real.

He'd been here for months. It had to be real. And if he really was living this life then he had to shelve any delusions of running away for the time being. He and Yuki wouldn't survive on their own and it was cruel to try and take her away from a life she was happy with. She was living in a mansion, for fucks sake, it wasn't like Yuki had any past life holding her back from enjoying their current situation.

It wasn't like Yuki's blood was actively trying to kill her, a snide voice in his head murmured low and dark but Knight batted it away irritably. He wasn't going to blame a five year old for his predicament.

But it was the fact that there wasn't anyone to blame that rankled him so badly. Knight didn't know why or how he was in the situation he was in and without a sliver of fact he didn't know how he could go about fixing it. And if he couldn't fix it then he had to accept it and that left a bad taste in his mouth.

The car rolled over a bump in the road and Knight was jostled out of his thoughts. He looked around the car interior, it was fancy – all dark brown leather and soft carpeting and subtly tinted windows. He wondered for who's benefit that was? His? Kaien's other vampire friends? Did Kaien have vampire friends other than Kaname, Knight wondered. He certainly had enough information on Vampires in his library and was familiar enough with their physiology to indicate a deeper knowledge.

Yuki was babbling next to him, plucking at her seatbelt and twisting and turning in her seat to look out as many windows as possible. Knight smiled as she turned to him and pointed out the birds and grazing deer that they passed by. It was beautiful, he allowed.

The frozen landscape was picturesque, the sun low and cold and bright, it looked like something out of a postcard and Knight wasn't above appreciating it.

"It's gorgeous" he murmured as the car startled a small gathering of robins that took flight into the air and became little dashes of crimson against the skyline.

"It is." Kaien agreed from on Yuki's other side, a fond smile on his face as he regarded the two of them. "The snow wont last though so I thought the two of you would appreciate a chance to play in it while it's here."

Well, good to know it wasn't a 'forever winter' type of world. Knight nodded, looking forward to shoving snow down Kaien's jacket while he still could. He might enlist Yuki to help, the girl was like a spider the way she could clamper up and down any surface with minimal difficulty. Kaien, blissful in his ignorance, began to direct Yuki's attention to different things through the window.

"Those birds are called crows, Yuki. Can you say Crows? Croooows! And that type of tree is called a deciduous tree, can you say de-sid-you-us?" He said with exaggerated slowness. Yuki, an actual child, eagerly sounded out the words, her little face furrowed in concentration. Knight, an adult, felt all his hackles raise at the perceived condescension and resolved to shove snow in Kaien's boots too.

The car ride only lasted another ten minutes, clearly they weren't driving too far away from the mansion which was promising. If there was a park this close then that meant there was a town nearby and more people. God, Knight desperately wanted to see more people. Being stuck in a single place, no matter how big the mansion was, with only a five year old and Kaien for company was doing weird things to him. Give it a year and he might even think this kind of isolation was normal.

They pulled into a small empty parking lot and Knight got his first look at the 'park'. It was completely empty, snow blanketing the grass and hanging heavily from laden tree boughs, there was a small children's playground in the distance though Knight couldn't make out what was in it. Yuki already had her seatbelt off and was clambering over a laughing Kaien to get the car door open and plant her boots in the snow.

Knight moved at a more sedate pace, keenly aware of the low ache in his bones that had picked up a few days ago. The air was cold and sharp but the bunny coat, as much as he was loathe to admit it, kept him decently warm and Knight took his time in following Yuki as she bounced towards the park.

The driver didn't leave the car and the car didn't turn off, Knight noticed as he ambled along the snow strewn path. This clearly wasn't going to be a long trip so he'd better make the most of it. Kaien was a little further ahead, scarf looped loosely around his shoulders revealing the pale nape of his neck to Knight's questing eyes. Perfect.

Knight leaned down to pack a handful of snow into an uneaven ball, careful to keep it loose enough to scatter down Kaien's back but together enough that it wouldn't fall apart in his hands. He then snuck forward, soft-soled boots padding near silently on the path. There was a small park bench off to the side just up ahead. If he climbed on top of it he'd be able to jump and dunk the snow right down Kaien's back, but only if he timed it right.

Yuki, bless her, let out a cackle of delight when she found the gates to the playground were unlocked and she pushed her way through. Kaien was looking at her intently, indulgent but watchful as she ran from the swings to the slide tower, a small wooden building that connected the slide to the monkeybars, and back again.

Knight timed his moment then, banking on the slivers of Kaname's blood in his system not to fail him, and darted forward, boots slapping against the wood of the bench as he launched himself forward.

Kaien, fuck him, actually reacted with surprising swiftness, turning around and catching Knight in his hands mid-leap, coat flaring and an expression like thunder etched across his face. Knight, already mid-dunk, couldn't stop himself from slamming the cold ball of snow directly down onto Kaien's face.

There was a beat or two of silence, where Knight hung suspended in Kaien's grip looking down at his snow covered features and feeling the dread build. There was a surprising tension to Kaien's shoulders that, slowly, started to ebb and his arms started to shake.

"Um…" Knight opened his mouth to say something, he didn't know exactly what, when the shaking in Kaien's arms travelled up to his shoulders and Knight realized after a second that the man was laughing.

The two of them descended to the ground as Kaien knelt suddenly, like a tower collapsing in on itself. He transfered his hands to Knight's shoulders and began to laugh into his chest, a tinge of hysteria in the thread of mirth that spooked a tree full of nearby birds and prompted Knight to pat the man a little awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Right… that didn't go as planned. Sorry." Knight tried, awkwardly brushing snow off the top of Kaien's head. The man eventually raised his face and gave Knight a grin that froze him to the spot.

Oh no…

"Knight, my precious daughter, light of my waking world?" Kaien singsonged, his fingers digging in a little harder into Knight's shoulder, making him gulp. There was a moment's silence, a hush that sent shivers racing up and down Knight's spine before-

"Run."

Knight didn't need any more prompting than that, wrenching away and darting towards Yuki as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Yuki watch out!" He yelled as he ducked down under the slide just in time for a ball of snow, flung with pin-point precision, slammed into the metal and scattered everywhere. He peeked around the slide to see Kaien already winding his arm back, a small stack of snowballs somehow already stacked at his feet.

"Okay how the fuck-" he was cut off by a snowball getting him in the face and he gagged.

"Ah ah, language Knight!" Kaien chided, stooping to pick up two more snowballs, an expression of blissful focus on his face.

Knight darted forward, barely avoiding getting hit by another snowball that thudded into the wooden edge of the swing frame, and grabbed Yuki's arm.

"Quick, up into the slide tower Yuki!" He urged, dragging her around the back to the ladder and bustling her up it. Yuki, shrieking delightedly as two more snow missiles narrowly missed her head, clambered up into the slide tower and peeped down at Kaien.

Knight scrambled to get a pile of snow together and started to toss the ready-made ammo, these ones hard packed and made to hurt, up to Yuki.

"Get him in the face! Urk-!" Knight encouraged and then stumbled back from a snowball to the chest. Ow, that one hurt. He glared around the ladder at Kaien who just stuck his tongue out at him and lobbed a snowball, nice and casual, towards a giggling Yuki.

She dodged it easily and slung one back with childish enthusiasm and Knight scowled, of course she gets the nice snowballs! Bastard!

It wasn't long before the three of them were freezing cold and covered in snow. Knight's mittens were soaked through and his fingers were chilled and his cheeks red raw. Yuki looked the same, but her eyes were bright with laughter as she slumped against the inside of the slide-tower and made faces down at Kaien who was pretending not to know where she was.

"Oh Yuuuukiiii, Yuuuukii…. Oh where could my beautiful daughter have gone?" Kaien affected a distraught expression as he looked around the playground with exaggerated care. "Is she under the swing?" He said in a stage whisper and Yuki laughed down from the tower.

"No!"

Kaien swung around and looked dramatically over at the seesaw "Is she hiding behind the seesaaaaaw?" He sang and Yuki yelled 'No!' again, thoroughly entranced with this new game and Knight took the blissful few seconds to rest.

His chest ached from pulling in lungful after lungful of the icy air, his hands were numb and his head was beginning to pulse with a distant headache but he was content. This had been a good idea, he allowed, if nothing else it meant Yuki would be so exhausted that she might actually sleep tonight in her own bed.

Eventually Kaien, in a show of dexterity that Knight wouldn't have though he possessed before today but now knew to be wary of, ran up the slide with a fake roar and 'captured' Yuki who squealed in delight and called out to Knight to rescue her.

Well. He supposed it was his job. Knight pulled himself up the ladder just in time to see Kaien stick his tongue out at him and then abscond with Yuki back down the slide, her kitten hood flying back to release a cloud of hair that whipped in the wind.

"Okay, unfair!" He shouted after them, sliding down the metal and running after them with a scowl as Kaien called back over his shoulder, brown eyes merry through the curtain of Yuki's hair, "All's fair in love and war, my dear!"

The trek back to the car felt so much longer than the walk to the park and Knight gave up on rescuing Yuki from Kaien, she seemed to have it all in hand as she hugged his neck and babbled without pausing for breath as she re-enacted their entire snow-ball fight with gusto. Kaien was favoring her with an indulgent smile, hand coming up to tuck her unruly hair back and brush some snow from her face.

Knight supposed he could say a lot of things about Kaien Cross, and he could, but at least he couldn't say that the man didn't actually care for them. He might be a kidnapper or a secret vampire or whatever but he wasn't… he could have been a lot worse, Knight allowed.

The car was blissfully warm once they all piled back in and Knight was grateful to the driver for keeping it running. Yuki, unable to sit still, spent the entire ride back bouncing in her seat and chatting to Kaien as best she could. Where she got all that energy from when Knight was ready to pass out he didn't know. But he was very jealous.

He rested his head against the window and watched as the park receded from view and the familiar road up to the mansion began to reveal itself. Well, at least they were allowed out. That was something. And maybe he couldn't exactly run away now but he wouldn't always be five. He could wait.

A/N:

Kaien: ahhhhahaha I'm very nervous about taking these two pureblood princesses out on their first excursion since their parents were killed and I need to keep them safe and aahaha i hope nothing happens to startle or shock me because I'm very on edge ahaha.. haha..hah...

Knight: okay by what if i jumped u tho?