Author's Note

This story is rated M for a reason. It contains many situations of a sensitive nature that some might find difficult or even triggering. Situations will or may include violence, death, sex, abuse (including emotional, mental, verbal, and sexual abuse), torture and more. This has been a difficult story to write and it may be a difficult story to read. Please proceed with caution. This will be the only warning for this story.

I hid in the shadows of the trees, waiting. Dusk had already begun to fall, leaving long shadows in its wake, but I wasn't willing to take any chances until I knew I was completely in the clear. Nathan had given me a few pieces of advice before he and the pack had taken off in the vans, leaving me behind on my own, but staying out of the sun was stressed fairly strongly. The other big one was to get the hell away from the Academy, especially for the next little while. However, I was throwing that wisdom out the window right now. I had my reasons.

The real question was how I was going to take care of the next part of my plan. I stared at the entrance, still unable to form a single feasible idea, just like I had been doing for the past several hours. I had watched several guardians change shift, and not a single person had noticed my presence among the stillness of the bushes. I could tell you exactly how many bricks made the archway stretching over the drive and the number of iron bars that made the gate, but I couldn't tell you one single way to break the magical barrier dividing me from my Roza.

Getting in would be impossible. I knew from personal experience that the security was increased and I wouldn't have a chance of passing the wards. Taking on the security guards at the gate wouldn't be a good idea either. Short of Rose running out here of her own volition, I couldn't think of one way to get my hands on her.

Thankfully, inexplicably, that's exactly what she did.

"Mason!" Her frantic call came from my left, about three hundred or so yards from me. It was quiet for me among the other sounds of the forest, and must have been nearly inaudible to the guards at the gate itself. "Mason, I need you!" Distantly, I could see her figure running over the lines that kept her out of harm's way without any regard for her own safety.

I had been fast and quiet before, but I had been nothing compared to who I was now. Moving with the new awareness I possessed was empowering. I wasn't perfectly silent but it was almost semantics at this point. I could notice things like sticks and leaves in time to avoid them even at my increased speed, and by the time you did look to see what you might have heard, I would already be gone. And it seemed like no matter how long I ran, I did so without tiring and without the need to catch my breath. Speed, stealth, and endurance made for a deadly combination.

Rose, however, was none of these things at the moment. As I got closer, I could begin to see her more clearly, frantically pacing like a caged animal, calling out over and over again for her lost friend as she pulled at her hair, her clothing, anything to keep her hands occupied it seemed. Lissa was beside her, hugging the ward line closely like a safety net.

What surprised me most, though, was that I could suddenly see someone appear in front of Rose too. He wasn't completely clear, more like a mist, but even through the odd shapelessness of form, I could tell who it was.

"Mason, is Dimitri dead?" Her hands twisted in front of her, grasping her wrists and impatiently waiting for his answer as if her own life depended on it.

A shift in the silver was all I could see from the nearly figureless form, but Rose's features were much clearer. There was a flash of excitement; of hope even.

"Is he alive?"

The ghost moved once more and slowly, and Rose fell to her knees with a blank stare. Lissa took an instinctual step towards her before looking around at the growing shadows and stepping once more behind the wards lines as Rose began to clutch her stomach and gasp for breath.

It was nearly a whisper when she asked her final question. "Is he … is Dimitri a Strigoi?"

Of course, I already knew the answer to that. Yes, I was Strigoi. I wasn't dead, not really. Nor was I alive. I was... more. I could see, hear, sense more than ever before, even in the one day that I had truly been awake.

Rose just didn't understand that.

Her cry was horrid, a scream of anger and pain. A few rocks within her reach were the first victims of her initial rage, flying into the forest's edge as Lissa faded into her own shock, apparently coming to understand the news from Rose's reaction.

"Oh, Rose...I'm sorry...Guardian Beliko-"

"Get out."

Lissa's confusion was apparent as she paused in her attempts to comfort Rose over the matter of my 'death.' "What?"

Rose didn't turn to face her, but the tone of her voice said more than her blank expression would have. "I said, 'get out.' Go away, Liss. He doesn't need your apologies, pity, or sympathies now, and neither do I. You didn't even know him, did you? He was just another guardian to you. But he..." Rose's voice faded as her head fell and her shoulders began to shake in quiet sobs.

"Rose, please," Lissa pleaded one last time, "It's getting dark."

"I said go away!"

And with one last screamed command, Rose was left alone, distracted by her grief over my altered state.

Emotions had clouded my mind before, left me vulnerable and weak, and now Rose was in the same position. I had a brief moment of gratitude that I was the one who was able to take advantage of it at this moment and not one of the others that I had been with before. Not knowing her potential, they might simply kill her without another thought. The thought of her dead sent a flare of anger in me but I quickly calmed it knowing that I now had the power to make sure that death would never have hold over my Roza.

I could keep her by my side for eternity. I could make her stronger, more powerful than either of us had ever dreamed of before. I could give her the freedom we both wanted.

But for now, I just needed to wait a little longer. The sun was barely peeking over the hillside, leaving just minutes before the sunset. While most of the forest was darkened enough to move about, she was still covered in a halo of the sun. As soon as it dipped below the crest, I would be able to make my move. I could already see that Rose was unarmed, and even if she had been, it was clear that she was in no position to attack. I would make the bite quick and as painless as possible. It would be over before she even knew what was happening.

The last seconds were agonizing, each one feeling like a separate eternity as I watched her just a few feet away from me. As soon as I could move freely, I felt the spark of action start to energize my bones in anticipation. I wasn't able to make it a single step towards her before a familiar ghostly form materialized directly in front of me, though, blocking my path. While he didn't look solid enough to actually stop my progress, there was something about Mason's presence that kept me still.

Perhaps it was the way that he dared to stand against me, even when he must have known that there was nothing he could do. He was dead. He was literally a ghost; nothing but spirit. What power did he think he could have over me?

But yet I didn't move.

The look in his eyes was a threat. Silent, but a threat just the same. Through them, I could still see Rose's huddled form, her face in her hands, but I couldn't glance away from the steely gaze that Mason held me in. It clearly said that he wasn't going to allow me to do anything to Rose, even if I felt it was in her best interest. He was going to protect her, even from beyond the grave.

A memory swept over me, cold and alone, huddled on a stone bench in the daylight. A one-sided conversation with a voice from the past.

"...I didn't know you well, but I know you loved her. We have that in common..."

"...Don't worry though. I'll be there for her from now on. I'll protect her like you did..."

I had promised to protect her like he once did. Like he was now doing...from me.

A step forward from me did nothing to the specter but encourage him to straighten up further. He didn't fear me at all, not one bit.

I began to feel my rage burning inside. She was mine. How dare Mason stand in my way. Rose had always been mine and the only reason Mason had even been allowed to get close to her in the first place was by my grace and allowance. Now he thought he could simply come between us?

Another loud and anguished cry turned both our heads, causing us both to take one step forward towards Rose. Mason immediately put a hand out to stop me and while it went through my arm, the chill it sent through me was like ice, chilling me to the bone and beyond. It was uncomfortable to the point of pain and froze me in my tracks. He shook his head disapprovingly.

"I can stop her pain," I insisted in a hushed whisper, but he shook his head again.

"She will barely feel the bite, the pain will last a moment and then she won't have to suffer ever again. Don't you want what's best for her? She'll be strong, she'll be nearly immortal."

He looked at me with almost pity.

"She'll never have to die. She won't end up like you!"

I don't know if it was the look in his eyes, the sound of Rose's tears, or the quiet voice in the back of my mind, but I was overcome with a singular thought at that moment.

'There are worse things than dying.'

I stared at Rose a while longer, Mason's arm at the ready to stop me if I should make even a hint of a movement towards her again, but eventually I made up my mind.

"Fine. She's safe. For now."

Author's Note

Welcome back everyone! Did you miss me? I certainly missed you :)

Now, let's get down to some business first. While I would love to promise weekly updates, I'm not going to. Strigoi!Dimitri is really hard for me to write. Like, I have broken down more than once trying to. I've had to shut my computer off, go hug my kids, and come back later trying to write him. He's not the same Dimitri we know and love. He's hard and terrifying and he'll only become worse as these chapters go on. Because of that, and the fact that the first half of this book is from my own imagination, it's very hard to write this story. I'll try to keep up with a good schedule, but if I fall behind, please forgive me.

Second, keep and eye out for other works. I'm writing little drabbles here and there to try to keep my mind from falling into Strigoi!Dimitri depression.

Finally, this week's Question of the Week: What's your guilty pleasure book? I would have said VA (you know, YA vampire book? Totally fits the bill...) but seeing how I've practically made a career out of writing fanfic about it, I think I've lost all rights to call it a "guilty pleasure" now. I think another one I still love to read when I'm having a bad day and just need a pick me up is Ella Enchanted. I loved it at 9 years old and I love it now.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget that this is a new story and if you like it (I hope you do) you'll need to favorite and follow. Let me know what you think of our new journey in the reviews :)