I know, I know, this story was abandoned for a long while there! If you want more information, please check the Author's note at the bottom of the page. For now, I'm just going to let you know that future updates will be slow. Very. Slow.

Also, please keep in mind that I wrote this chapter months ago, but did not post it. I have hardly edited it, but feel free to point out any mistakes anyway. Perhaps it will motivate me to work harder?

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A clattering of pans and subsequent volley of swears woke you from your sleep; still, it wasn't quite enough to make you want to open your eyes. Your head was throbbing like mad. Your skin felt too tight and prickly. Your muscles were itchy and sore. You really wished you could just die already to save yourself from your discomfort… but noooo, that would take too much effort! All you really had the energy for was wallowing your personal puddle of ever deepening self-pity.

When you'd begrudgingly agreed to join Sans on his stupid, world-hopping adventure, you hadn't thought it would be as painful as it had turned out to be thus far. Annoying, sure, but painful? Hell no! If you were going to die you prefered it to be quick, painless, and with no lingering consequences. Yet there you were, laid out and in pain after unintentionally surviving yet another deadly encounter with a deranged monster. Except, this time, instead of being enraged about it, you just felt… tired.

It was painful knowing that you could have experienced this exact same five star treatment if you'd just stayed in the anti-void. Why had you even bothered to leave if this was going to be the end result either way? Yet you'd chosen to wander around aimlessly with a random Sans instead; and for what? An all to familiar pain in your body and a strangely heavy feeling in your chest? No. No, you didn't want this. Why had you done this to yourself?

A heavy fog of negative feelings settled in your chest the moment you realised that you weren't just physically exhausted; you were emotionally exhausted too. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt so low—and you'd had plenty of low moments. Usually, when you lay prone, it was because logic told you that there was nothing else you could possibly do with your time, but now you found you couldn't move was because being a living, breathing creature who still existed felt like an honest to god burden to you. There was no determination left in you in that moment, and you found yourself slowly falling into an abyss of absolute apathy...

A sudden, ear-ringing shattering sound caused you to reactively hiss and flinch. Your muscles shuddered and twitched as you held your breath and tried to force yourself into a relaxed again. In your depressing spiral, you had all but completely tuned out the burning sensation that was still crawling through your body; unfortunately, your sudden instinctual movement invited it to return with a vengeance. For a brief moment, the bitter cold emptiness growing inside you had to be put on hold as you rode out the pained shuddering of your bruised body. More swearing could be heard from somewhere further away from you, though you were too busy nursing your pounding headache and frail limbs to really listen to it. You were so focussed on the sensation of your head sloshing around like it was full of soup that you almost completely missed a much quieter intake of breath right next to you.

"hey, you awake?" someone whispered, and reluctantly you pried open one heavy eyelid to confirm that it was Sans (again) looking concerned (again) and leaning far too much into your personal space (again). You closed your blurry eye with an irritated groan and attempted to curl your poor body into an even tighter—and significantly more spite-filled—ball.

From the brief glimpse you'd had of your surroundings, you recognized that you were back in the Fell skeleton's house and laid out lengthwise on their couch. Judging by the deep and increasingly irritated grunts that seemed to be coming from the kitchen, you guessed that the Fell Sans was in there, most likely enduring some kind of cruel and unusual punishment inflicted upon him by his loud-mouthed brother. Said brother had been seemingly absent during your quick onceover of the living room, but your own idiot skeleton had been easy to locate. Apparently he had taken a floor seat by your head, likely for the lack of anything better to do with his time.

"are… are you okay? can you speak right now?"

You stubbornly kept your eyes closed in the face of Sans' ridiculous questioning. Did you look like you were okay!? If your limbs would only cooperate, you probably would have swung an arm out and pushed the guy over in a huff. He was far too close and you were far too testy to deal with his whole 'genuinely concerned about you' act. Sure, you almost appreciated that he put in the effort to make it seem like he cared for you—almost like he saw you as more than a living tool for getting back his world—but thanks to the poor state you were in, it was coming off as even more annoying than usual.

A light tap on your arm made you growl weakly as Sans continued to kneel by your side, his presence close enough that you could practically feel the worried smile on his face.

"sorry! did that hurt?" he asked quickly, retracting his hand, "i didn't mean to-! just... i dunno what that bastard did to ya while i was out, but i tried to clean you up the best i could. 'm sorry i passed out like that. i shoulda known he was gonna be up to somethin', but i didn't know it'd be that quick. 's soon as you can walk, we're gettin' outta here. and if that creep tries that shit again-! ... nevermind. look, once we're safe back in the anti-void i gotta ask you about this voice and-"

"Oh myyy gooooddddd," you hissed desperately through clenched teeth, "Ssssshut. The ffffuuuck. Uuuuup…"

Even though his words were whispered, every syllable of the skeleton's rambling pounded into your skull like a freight train. Carefully, you pressed your palms against your head and turned your face into the cushions you were lying on, showing as best you could that you were indeed in no mood to talk. As you reluctantly breathed in the stale fabric and the years of stored skeleton farts the ancient couch probably contained, your fingers brushed against a rather large bump on your forehead. Prodding lightly at the swollen flesh, you were able to make out the shape of a jagged cut that started high on your forehead and stretched diagonally downward towards the far corner of your eyebrow. The wound had long scabbed over and was healing, but was still in the stages of being unpleasantly crusty and tight. W-where had you…? When did...?

"don't poke it," Sans warned carefully as he guided your hand away from your head. You let him do so without so much as a warning hiss as your body was too weak to resist anyway. "i couldn't exactly feed you while you were out so it's still... well... it 'healed' on its own so- i mean, i'm not really an expert on human wounds but i don't think ya wanna poke it. looks like it could open again any second. no idea what that guy did to cause it-"

"Fhuh whoack…" you suddenly remembered, not really paying much attention to Sans' nervous word vomit.

"... what?"

Groaning, you lifted your head away from the couch to begrudgingly look at Sans and properly enunciate your words.

"I said the rock," you grumbled. "It was a rock."

"wh- he hit you with a rock!?"

Even while squinting you could see Sans' expression widen in shock, and then suddenly transform into outrage. His eyes turned black as his head snapped to peer angrily over his shoulder, eyeing the kitchen which was behind him and beyond your line of sight. The near-instant reaction confused you for a moment, but you snapped out of it with a scoff.

"No, you moron!" you hissed at him as clearly as you could with your dry throat, "I said it was caused by a rock, not that I was hit with a rock!"

Sans simply stared at you with a dumbfounded expression.

"you weren't? so... what, you fell onto it or...?"

"Do I really look that stupid to you!?" you snapped, regaining some of your lost vigor, though only because the weird ass skeleton was so talented at annoying it out of you, "I'd already fallen and was dragged into it! Do you think I'd get a scar this damn long if I just fell on it?"

"he dragged-? so wait, he did do it!? he really was trying to kill you! i knew-!"

"That idiot couldn't kill a paper bag!" you shouted bitterly, and even though you sounded angry you couldn't help the dark twisting in your chest. Disappointment tinged the edge of your mind as you remembered the missed opportunity. That bastard. What kind of pure-bred Fell would pass up such an easy murder? Then again, maybe your plan to lure him into killing you without much consequence to your Soul hadn't been as perfect as you thought... Amidst all your adrenaline you had messed up somewhere, and your 'perfect' plan for what was basically assisted suicide had actually been a failure from the very beginning. What a waste of time...

"well that's not what i saw!" Sans countered, completely unaware of your dark thoughts, "when paps and i found you, that guy was dragging you along the ground like a stuffed toy! you've got no idea how much dirt an' blood i peeled off of ya while you were out. i thought you were gonna die in your sleep or something because of him! i know that psychopath was tryna kill ya!"

"he's right. i woulda done it. an' i woulda enjoyed it too, if not fer the... unfavourable circumstances."

Both you and Sans instantly looked towards the kitchen to see the skeleton's larger Fell self standing in the archway with a twisted grin. Sans reacted with incredible hostility to the new presence, tightening up both his posture and his smile. He was up from his knees and on his feet faster than you had finished blinking. You wondered if they'd been exchanging threats while you were unconscious, since it genuinely seemed like your Sans was already completely prepared to fight the other monster. There was no way he would have gotten so mad just because a stranger like you got hurt. That would make zero sense. Maybe he was more pissed off about the earlier food poisoning than you'd originally thought? Though something in you said that wasn't entirely correct. Well, whatever the cause, Sans' instant personality switch from quiet and caring to cold and volatile both gave you whiplash and made you uncomfortable.

Not that this seemed to worry his larger counterpart, however, who simply yawned and leaned up against a nearby wall.

"You tried to kill them," Sans growled, and you blinked in surprise as you realised that the patented Scary Skeleton Voice™ was emanating from your Sans and not his Fell counterpart, "You deserve far worse punishment for your sins than some menial household chores."

The sharp grin on the Fell's face stretched a little.

"heh. what? ya think that you and yer tattletale'n tricks were the reason i didn't off yer weird lil pet?" he chuckled menacingly. Small, blood red eyes easily overlooked Sans to land on you, "nah, bud, i woulda killed them without flinching if they hadn't pulled me inta that weird white void. which, by the way, i am going to get some answers for…"

For a second it looked like Sans was going to turn to you—most likely to express his shock and bombard you with questions about what had happened—but he kept his eyes on the more logical target in front of him as the Fell suddenly took a menacing step forward.

"in fact…" the sinister Sans continued slowly as he stalked towards the two of you, "how's about the three of us sit down together right now an' have ourselves a lil family meeting?"

"How about you bite me?" you growled in return, still pissed off at the spooky, scary skeleton and all of his 'changed my mind about killing you' bullshit.

Your angry quip backfired horribly, however, as the Fell Sans unhinged his giant maw to accentuate his razor sharp teeth.

"that can be arranged~" he chuckled deeply, and his open jaw actually wobbled loosely with the sound.

"yeeeeaaah, no. gonna have to cancel that appointment," Sans spat in clear opposition to the giant creep.

Magical energy crackled in the air as you watched the two Sanses stare each other down. Neither seemed like they were going to back off, but you couldn't help but feel the Fell had home advantage. As well as size advantage. And probably murderous advantage too, now that you thought about it. Yeeeeeeah… this was not a good match up, especially since you were still injured. A fight under such disadvantageous conditions would probably end up even worse for you than the last two had, and those had ended pretty fucking badly. You briefly wondered if your body would be able to handle you trying to book it outside if the two actually decided to fight. Sans could probably handle it on his own since he actually seemed weirdly eager to participate in round two of the no-holds-barred monster beatdown that was about to commence.

"oh, ya think so, pipsqueak?" the Fell snarled as he licked grossly at his teeth with his weird magic tongue, "'cause personally i don't think you have the backbone ta take me on."

"trust me, gramps," Sans growled in return, "you may have cheated last time, but now i can see right through you."

"aww, ya poor shrimp. yer still skulking over that?"

"i'm patelling ya, lard cakes, i won't make the same mistake twice."

"heh, just ribbing ya, short stack. still gonna kill ya though."

"wow, chubbs, that's pretty heartless."

"well some folks would find it humerus if i let some squirt take me down."

"oh? i didn't think a fossil like you would let anyone get under their skin."

"kid, you are so bon-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! Shut UP! OOOOOHHHHH MY GOD! Shut up! If you're gonna fight, then just fight! What is wrong with you!? Do you think this is funny? I don't have to listen to this crap before my potential murder! If you two don't stop then I might as well just go and kill my damn self!"

Despite your weakened state and pounding headache, somehow your skeleton-pun fuelled rage gave you the energy to rocket off the couch and rant furiously at the two monsters. You had been preparing for them to try and kill each other, not- whatever the hell it was that they were doing! Sure, your life was something you were willing to give up at almost any opportunity, but not your sanity! Personal lines had to be drawn somewhere and after a lifetime of unwilling exposure you had firmly carved yours around the topic of overused snow and bone related puns.

A brief silence filled the room as both Sanses stared at you blankly, their concentration instantly ripped from their weird ass insult war. You thought for a moment that your sudden outburst had halted them, but as you stared in horror you saw the same subtle flicker pass over each of their faces…

"wow, no need to be so sternum-"

"what, ya feelin' bonely-"

"STOP IT!" You immediately shrieked at them in a complete rage, quite possibly turning red with frustration. For crying out loud you had just woken up! Your head hurt and you were horribly injured! Why did you have to be subjected to this pun-laden hell so early!? It was enough to make you want to-

CRASH!

"WHAT IS ALL OF THIS SCREAMING AND WHY WAS I NOT INVITED!?"

You would never admit that you let out a shrill shriek as Papyrus leapt suddenly through the window behind you, showering you with a generous amount of shattered glass. The shock was so great that it caused your weak knees to buckle and you narrowly missed bringing Sans down with you as you fell to the floor like a limp sack of flour. The startled skeleton turned to help you up, but you quickly swatted his hands away before he could do anything, faking a dignified cough as you scrabbled to get your composure back.

You could see the Fell Sans across from you snickering at your momentary slip up. Bitter and sore, you glared at him hard. That caused the Fell to snicker harder. Next to you, the newly arrived Papyrus glared also. The Fell stopped snickering.

"WELL THEN," the Fell Papyrus said from atop his home-made miniature glass mountain, "DO ANY OF YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

Without missing a beat, Sans turned and glared at his counterpart again, "your brother's a dick, that's what's goin' on!"

Papyrus gasped, seemingly scandalized by the rough word choice, and you thought you saw Sans flinch just a little with regret. The Fell on the other side of the room growled dangerously but didn't move.

"IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR NEW SUPERIOR!?" the tall skeleton scolded, "MY BROTHER MAY BE A DULL, UNPALATABLE IGNORAMUS, BUT HE IS NO RICHARD! TO THINK THAT WE EVER TOOK CHILDREN AS DISRESPECTFUL AS YOU TWO UNDER OUR WINGS!"

"dun worry, boss," the Fell Sans shook his head in vague amusement, "i'll set 'em straight. just gimme a moment ta speak with 'em alone so i can-"

"So you can kill us?" you interrupted, glowering hard from your spot on the floor. It probably wasn't that intimidating when you had to strain your neck up to look him in the eye, but with your previous outrage set back to a slow simmer you just couldn't find the energy to stand anymore. Well, that and there was glass scattered all around you just waiting to cut you to shreds as soon as you moved—but that was wasn't really that worrying considering the greater threat in the room.

"INCONCEIVABLE! SANS WILL DO NO SUCH THING!" Papyrus tutted forcefully down at you, "DO YOU KNOW WHY? IT IS BECAUSE I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, HAVE SPECIFICALLY ORDERED HIM TO NOT END EITHER OF YOU! AND NO ONE IGNORES THE ORDERS OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! LEST THERE BE… CONSEQUENCES."

"right, boss," the Fell Sans agreed with a slight twitch, seemingly cowed by the not so subtle threat.

"WELL, NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT CLEARED UP! IT IS TIME FOR DINNER!" Instantly all three of you aside from Papyrus recoiled at the terrifying declaration. "OR AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I WOULD SAY, IF NOT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ALL HORRIBLE FAILURES!"

Once again the skeleton's skull burned a bright red as he stomped his feet angrily, nearly crushing the glass below his boots into fine shiny dust.

"WHY DO ANY OF YOU THINK THAT YOU DESERVE MY CAREFULLY CRAFTED CUISINES? FOR EXAMPLE, YOU, FLESHY CHILD, RAN AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! AND AFTERWARDS YOU SPENT SO MUCH TIME STUBBORNLY 'SLEEPING' THAT YOU COULD NOT FULFILL THE MANY, MANY PUNISHING PUNISHMENTS I HAD PLANNED FOR YOU!"

You almost snapped back at the accusation before you stopped yourself short. In a way you were being given a get out of jail free card, though the irritated monster didn't seem to realise it. Honestly you didn't want another plate of his pasta-layered disaster, so you kept your trap shut and grumbled at the floor instead.

"AND YOU, SANS. EVEN THOUGH I ORDERED YOU TO CLEAN THE KITCHEN FROM TOP TO BOTTOM I WOULD BET THE KING'S CASTLE THAT YOU SMASHED MOST OF MY PLATES AND HID THEM IN INCONVENIENT SPACES AROUND THE HOUSE!"

The memory of the smashing sound and bitter swearing which had woken you earlier flitted through your mind. Surprisingly, the Fell Sans seemed utterly unrepentant about his actions and replied with a lackluster 'ya got me, boss'. Did… Did that mean he'd been smashing the plates on purpose in there? Had he knowingly been breaking stuff in a huff as a plan for skipping out on dinner? Unfortunately the carefully schooled expression on the Fell's face gave nothing more away, so you could only speculate.

"AND YOU, TINY SKELETON, HAVE DISPLAYED A FOUL MOUTH AND POOR BEHAVIOUR IN MY PRESENCE!"

"tiny skeleton-?!"

"THUS, NONE OF YOU SHALL BE EATING TONIGHT! I HOPE THAT WHILE YOU ARE WASTING AWAY-WITH YOUR INSIDES TWISTING AND BURNING DUE TO YOUR HUNGER-THAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE DELICIOUS MEAL I COULD HAVE PROVIDED YOU AND DECIDE TO SHOW A LITTLE BIT MORE DECENCY WHILE SERVING UNDER ME! NOW OFF TO BED WITH YOU! I'M SICK OF SEEING YOUR FACES! AND THERE HAD BETTER BE NO FUNNY BUSINESS LIKE LAST NIGHT'S, UNLESS YOU EVER HOPE TO EAT AGAIN!"

With that, the loud Fell stormed straight into the kitchen, narrowly avoiding marching straight over his brother's head to get there thanks to the latter quickly scooting out of his way. The terrifying noises that soon wafted out from beyond the archway truly marked the finality of your weird little chat, as it seemed that Papyrus had become quickly absorbed in what you could only assume to be the construction of a edible nuclear bomb.

"welp. guess that's that," the Fell Sans shrugged with a smile, "playtime's over kids. looks like yer goin' straight to bed."

Your body stiffened as he stalked forward once more, reaching out to grab you with a giant bony hand…

Suddenly, stark white bones forming sturdy bars lept up from the ground in front of you to block the Fell from getting any closer. You glanced at Sans who stood calmly on your side of the magical wall, though the same battle-ready aura he'd had prior to Papyrus' unexpected entrance was once more coming of him in waves.

"heh... c'mon, lil guy. ya don't wanna make a scene, do ya?" the Fell huffed as he leaned in as close to the magical wall as he dared, his smile taking on an even more dangerous edge, "didn't we already do this song an' dance? if i remember right, it didn't end so well for ya the last time…"

"i told ya you need to back off, pal," Sans quietly spat back, completely ignoring the larger skeleton's threats, "this'll be as bad for you as it will be for us if your bro catches what you're doin'. just accept that ya can't win here. me and my buddy are leaving, whether you like it or not."

Grumbling to himself and rolling his eye-lights around in his sockets, Sans' big red counterpart put his hands on his knees to lean down to the other skeleton's level.

"aw, but i'm bein' good this time, squirt! I ain't gonna murder you or your delicate lil friend. really! i mean it!"

"right, and i'm the king of all monsters," Sans huffed, unmoved.

A tense silence passed between the two; one that was only occasionally interrupted by the loud, godless acts being conducted in the next room over. You shifted uncomfortably on the floor, unintentionally shaking off some of the glass from earlier off of your shoulders as you did so. At the very least you felt confident that your Sans had the upper hand now that Papyrus had returned. Back when the smaller skeleton had been out for the count, the Fell had had it easy getting to you, but with Sans awake again he would find it harder to silence you both before his brother was inevitably alerted to the conflict. It was unlikely that the tall skeleton would allow another fight to break out in his home without some doling out some serious punishment to his brother.

Seemingly coming to the same conclusion that you had, the Fell hung his head and sighed deeply. A sharp clacking of bones came from his knee where he tapped his fingers in thought. Whatever he was thinking about seemed to make his smile twist a bit, almost dipping into the territory of a sneer. With great reluctance he lifted his head again, meeting Sans' own eyes with an even stare.

"fine. i promise i won't kill either of you. 'least not tonight. ya got my honest word on it. that good enough for ya?"

You scrunched your nose up at the Fell's words. He promised, huh? That hadn't been what you'd been expecting to hear. To say such a thing was incredibly heavy stuff when coming from certain skeletal individuals such as himself-you of all people would know that. Even Sans seemed conflicted, remaining silent as he deliberated the weight behind the other skeleton's words.

Suspicious of the situation, you reached out and grabbed Sans' arm, pulling him back towards your floor seat just the slightest bit.

"It's possible he's lying," you informed him in a quick whisper directed at the side of his skull, "Anything is possible. That's... just the way all of this stuff works. I told you you can't assume that things will always work the way you think they should, even if it makes sense to you. Just tell him to fuck off! There's nothing he can do if we say no."

To his credit, Sans didn't take his eyes off of the other skeleton or show any emotion as you imparted your advice. He seemed to take it into consideration as he stared blankly ahead, his magic not faltering.

"hmmm... ok."

You watched in horror as the wall of bones separating you from the menacing monster disappeared without a trace. Apparently what you had considered to be Sans deliberating your words was actually him mentally compartmentalizing them, pouring out a can of gasoline, lighting a match, and setting the whole damn storage system on fire.

"Wha-? Why-? Huh?" you blabbered mindlessly, eyes flicking from one monster to the other.

"eh, i'm just not up for a fight," Sans shrugged by some way of an explanation, "even if it ends up just being a little one, i don't think any of us are actually up for it. too much effort."

"Are you crazy? You can't trust him!" you hissed in a shrill voice, almost nearing hysterics from a combination of fear and fury. Had he lost his damn mind?

"i dunno. he seems honest," Sans shrugged, seemingly nonplussed about how he had just given his counterpart permission to go ahead and rip you both into itty bitty particles.

"Anyone can seem honest, you moron! He was obviously lying!"

"aw, kid," the Fell Sans whined while placing a hand dramatically over where his heart would be, "you're not giving me enough credit here! yer friend's actually a great judge of character."

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Ok, so, explanations... Why haven't I updated for so long?

The answer is both simple and complicated. There have been a lot of days where I have been busy, and a lot of days where I have done nothing at all. Quite a few negative things have happened to both me and my family, and some are so personal to me or other people that I just don't feel like sharing any specifics about these events. You see, I'm not the kind of person who likes to vent online; in fact, I'm the kind of person who retreats when enough bad things happen to stress me out at the same time. This is why I have been inactive on not just this website, but ALL social media for the past few months.

Honestly, I'm unsure if I can write in my current state. Personally, when I write, I focus on one emotion and pour it out onto the page as fast as possible. For this story it was a mix of excitement and spite: excitement for a new story, for the clever twists I was planning, and for your reactions; and spite for the cliches surrounding Undertale fanfictions, the dissuasion of using popular character tropes, and the dismissal/hatred for AU fandoms. Basically, I allowed these emotions to help fuel my writing; but then the emotions faded. Anxiety and apathy from real life started to leach into my words, and I started to feel like my story sounded more and more robotic. The enthusiasm behind the characters was false—a pale mimicry of the emotions I had poured into the earlier chapters—and I began to see my own writing as being incredibly childish and flawed. Perhaps this would not seem the case to a casual reader, but you know what they say: "You're your own worst critic".

Still, there was barely a day that passed where I didn't think about finishing this story. I had so much planned, after all! A beginning, a middle, an end! Backstories, new characters, and new worlds! I had made so many promises, too—both here and on AO3! I even had the next chapter (this chapter) pre-written, and the art for the next character was all lined up to be posted on my Tumblr. I couldn't possibly leave this story unfinished! However, it was only after I received two reviews here on FFnet, both claiming that they missed the story, that I found the motivation to post this chapter... and even then, I failed to do anything until more than a week after the fact. It may not seem like a lot, but it was a lot for me. I don't really have the energy to reply to those posts directly, so I hope that this small acknowledgement will be enough.

I would like to assure all of you that I will not break my word; this story WILL be finished in the future. I believe that it is a story worth telling, no matter the state of either myself or the various AU fandoms involved in it (because yeah, some of the "worlds" I plan to have in my story have been dead and abandoned for a long time now...). I'm just not sure at this point if this means I should continue to write chapters that mimic the feel of the previous ones, or if I should attempt to re-write it entirely (because, let's be honest, writing from emotion alone can sometimes make for a confusing and conflicting plot). Either way, it will be finished—just... slowly.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. :)