Title: "Leo Dooley's Ultimate Guide to Being Lonely"

Rating: T

Genre: family, friendship

Characters: the whole family

Pairing(s): Donald/Tasha

Summary: "If someone else beside me is watching, you may want to stop here. What I'm about to say next can be a downer, especially to someone who doesn't understand what it's like." [[Written for Susz's contest.]]

Notes: As mentioned, this is written for Susz's family fluff contest. I tried to come up with something a little happier, but the plot bunnies just took me to the opposite direction. :P Anyways, with that said, this story deals with PTSD and alludes very slightly to torture.

The format of this may be a little confusing at first, but just keep in mind what a character's goal is for what she's about to do and that the family is acting upon it with her. Can't say anymore; I'll end up spoiling everything!

Thanks to Susz for granting an extension for me twice! You rock. ;)

Tasha stared at her laptop with lightly furrowed brows and the inside of her lip tucked under her teeth. Her left foot tapped anxiously beneath her as she debated whether she should do it. Should she send it to the family? She knew it would be a breach of her son's trust. Even if she did find the flash drive containing the video in a jacket he had decided to donate, it was still personal property. She shouldn't have even looked at it.

Yes, she was glad that she found out sooner than later so something could be done about it, and yes, she needed to ask for reinforcement from everyone, but the fact remained: it was something personal that shouldn't have been touched.

Still, she was worried. The video was made a long time ago, but what if her twenty year-old still felt the same? He probably did. If what he said in the video was true, then that meant that even those few moments where they would see him happy may not be as real as it looked.

That pained her. He had only been home for three months after being held captive for two years in some dark, untouched corner of the earth, but it was clear to her that that deranged man ruined her son. Leo didn't talk much anymore. They usually had to address him directly, and even then he would just give them two or three word answers. She had yet to hear him laugh. He would smile at times. Once, he chuckled, but that was it. The expressive, opinionated, and funny child she had known was gone, and there was no sign he would come back anytime soon.

Her fist balled as she thought about the condition those agents told them Leo was in when they found him. That savage should be glad he was put behind bars immediately and not in front of her first.

She took in a deep breath then slowly exhaled. Relax. There's no use being angry right now, she told herself. What was important was her son. They had an obligation to him as his family. If they weren't able to save him early enough from those people that took him, they could at least try to pull him out of the melancholy that she knew he was drowning in.

Tasha looked unsurely at the first brand new flash drive on the dock. It would be given to her husband once the video, which she had uploaded to her laptop, was copied into it. She then glanced at the three other flash drives, all also new and ready to be loaded. One would be sent to Centium City, the other to the headquarters at the island, and the other to Seattle.

They needed to know, too.

After reaching a decision, she decided to copy the video to the first flash drive. When she finished with all four, she decided to play it once again while preparing the drives for delivery.

The screen was dark at first. Then, the cover was taken off the lenses, revealing a younger, bright-eyed Leo sitting at his computer desk. He grinned. "Okay. That's much better," he began. He cleared his throat then waved. "Hello! I'm Leo Francis Dooley. I'm seventeen years old, at least for three more weeks, and this is me attempting to do an instructional video for all my fellow bionic kids out there. We were just told that it may be good to put together something that would help them adjust to the real world, something honest and helpful, and this is me trying to respond to that call.

"I doubt this one will make it out to the different headquarters, though. It's very honest, at least I think so, and people can't handle honesty sometimes. I understand. Some things are better left unsaid.

"So, whoever's watching this, if anyone is watching this: hi! Please hit the stop button now and return the flash drive this was in to me. You're probably really curious as to what I've got to say, which, I get because come on – the guy on your screen is very charming. By the way, Future Me, if you're watching this…" he pointed at the viewer with a wink, "still good lookin'. I see you've aged well."

He chuckled. "In all seriousness, if someone else beside me is watching, you may want to stop here. What I'm about to say next can be a downer, especially to someone who doesn't understand what it's like. It's not about making friends in this world, which will probably be what I'd end up talking about on the video I'd send to the headquarters. It's not about finding love. It's not even about how to find rare items in Out of Bounds.

"It's about being lonely.

"Many people today say that we're all ultimately alone. See, I don't really believe that. Most of us, when we are born, come into the world in a room full of people. Or, you know, room full of your mother and the doctor, at the very least. Sooner or later, we create relationships with others, and some of these withstand different things—at times even death.

"But, the truth is, good things like this don't happen to everyone. I still don't agree that we're all alone. It's just that, sometimes, for some of us, strong relationships just don't happen. I don't know why. In all honesty—and here's another truth—, in my case I've often wondered if there was something about me that just repels good friends. I mean, yeah, I've got a little bit of an ego, and yeah, I talk a lot, and yes, I'm clumsy, but – that doesn't make me a bad person, right? I try to be nice to people. I don't succeed very often, but I'm trying. I try to be a good friend because I want a good friend.

"Almost a year ago, it came to me that for some of us, maybe one fact of life that we need to learn is that we're just never gonna have the friendships that we want. It's just not for us. Like, you know, how some kids are musically gifted, some are geniuses, and others have the ability to flip water bottles and have it land perfectly upright on the table? Well, maybe many have developed some inner magnet for great relationships with other people. The other small percentage had developed a repellent, like me.

"I know it sounds sad, but it really isn't once you understand that the situation is not hopeless. There are things you can do so it isn't so bad. Maybe you can even live happy and perfectly fine like the rest without faking it. Once you've got it down, it's very easy.

"And that's what I'm here for, to give you five tips on how to survive your lone wolf life.

"Haha! It rhymes!"

••

Tip #1:

Recognize that you are and may always be alone.

"Once you've identified the reality, acceptance will come easy. Don't immediately think that that you are and may always be on your lonesome is horrible, and don't feel down. Just be honest with yourself. You can't make friends? Okay. None of the friends you've made stay? Fine.

From my experience, I've learned that people move on from people they don't find interesting enough. I once thought I made friends I'd have for life, but after a few years they moved on from me, too. That really did hurt, I tell you. But, a good thing came from it, at least, again, to me something did: I learned that I would never have best friends, and the best I can aim for are allies and acquaintances.

I am, and will always be, alone, and that's okay."

Leo lied on the couch, watching the lights from the afternoon sun dance around the ceiling of his new apartment. He really liked that neighborhood. It was quiet there, and it was exactly what he needed. After being in that Dark Hole of a facility for two straight years, being subjected to whatever suited that mad scientist's and his cohorts' whims, peace and silence had become what he craved the most.

He knew it wasn't wise to isolate himself, and he wasn't trying to. He really just wanted to be alone and sort things out in his own pace.

A knock on his door prevented him from drifting to sleep. He looked at it and waited to see whether what he heard was real or if it was his imagination playing tricks on him.

There was another knock.

Leo got up cautiously from the couch then slowly approached the door. Peeking into the peephole, he was slightly relieved to see a familiar delivery man.

"Good morning, Mr. Dooley," the man in a lime green and blue uniform happily greeted him when he opened the door. He gestured at the basket of fruit arrangement he had in his arms with his clipboard. "Got another one for ya."

Leo took the basket then signed the receipt.

"Thank you," the man said. "You know, you're just two baskets away from setting a record at our shop. Whoever's sending you these must really love you."

"Either that or they think I need more fruits in my diet."

The man laughed. "You have a good day," he said.

"You, too," Leo responded, already preoccupied with the card attached. After closing the door, he headed towards the kitchen counter to place the basket down.

I've Got Your Back, Bro, the print on the front said. Opening it, it continued, Just Tell Me When and Where.

Just know that if you need a friend, I'm here. You aren't alone. Adam, the inscription on the opposite flap read. P.S: Daniel told me to tell you that he helped me pick out this card and write this message and pay for the basket. He said I should put his name on this, too, but I didn't. I don't want to. It's my idea. Adam. Again.

Leo narrowed his eyes, unsure how to take that. He looked at the three other fruit baskets sitting at his counter, each from other members of his family, all indicating that he had friends in all of them.

He was missing something, something important. What exactly, he had yet to figure out.

••

Tip #2:

Special treatments are for special people.

(Don't worry; you're special, too. But you need to make your own category of special.)

"One of the perks of having best friends is that you get nice surprises. If you're not a person who likes surprises, then maybe you don't care too much about that. But for those who do, it's certainly something to look forward to. It's pretty awesome if you think about it: you get gifts out of the blue, a call one night asking you whether you want to go on a trip to some store, only for it to end up as your friend taking you to a concert you've always wanted to go to, heart-shattering yells of 'Surprise!' when you walk in the door because they've set up a party for you to congratulate you on an achievement. Those are moments that you keep with you forever.

But, if you don't have any friends, you might worry that you won't get to have enviable moments like those. Really, though, you don't have to. You can still make memories even if it's just you.

If you've got the guts, the desire, the curiosity, and the money for it, I suggest travelling the world. You'll get to meet a lot of people, to learn about many cultures and languages, eat the best and even the strangest food out there. All your fellow humans and what you'd learn from them will be the best surprise you'd ever encounter in your life.

If you prefer to just stay close by and maybe do something cheaper, my suggestion is splurging on something you really want from time to time. Or, better yet, splurge on something spontaneous. Go to a five-star restaurant and order their best food. Buy a round trip ticket to a state you've never been to, and spend a few days there walking around. Dude—or Girl, go on an online shopping spree and have the Post Office gift wrap your gift to yourself. Do whatever you think is exciting.

Only from time to time, though. I don't imagine it's fun being broke and in debt."

The air in the city that night was crisp and mildly chilly. It was a perfect time to take a walk and finally try out one of the games released while he was gone.

Leo thought it was entertaining enough that he decided to forego his reluctance to leave his apartment. He reasoned that there were many people walking around that he needn't really fear being caught off-guard and tbat he could use a stroll to clear out his head anyway. There was also the possibility that he'd get to see some hiring signs out there. Even if his current condition wouldn't permit him to have a full-time job, he could still get something part-time. He had asked the psychiatrist, and he said it was okay.

He needed to occupy himself with something normal. His stepfather had offered him a job at the company, but he refused. He didn't tell him yet that it was because everything there, everything in the island, everything in Mission Creek including them reminded him so much of what happened, and he couldn't bear being around that many reminders.

He just had to find another job on his own and attempt (slowly) to rebuild his life.

His phone vibrated, alerting him to a nearby pokémon. He chuckled at himself when he clicked on the Charmander then attempted to catch it.

This really brought him back to when he was much younger.

Once he had finally captured it (after about the third ball), Leo decided to close the game and just take in the view. He pocketed his phone as he continued to saunter in a breezier pace. Seaton Cove was an oxymoronic city. It was laidback but busy at the same time. It was one of its most enjoyable features, because it gave him a chance to choose for himself what he wanted his new home to be: relaxed or fast-moving.

His phone vibrated again once he reached a stoplight by the beach's parking lot. Hey, you wanna go grab some dinner with me? No one else, just us. My treat. There's a new upscale restaurant that a board member recommended I try, the text said.

I think you sent the text to the wrong person, Big D, Leo typed. This is Leo.

The response came back a few seconds later. I know. Your old man's kinda hoping you'd agree to hang out with him tonight. It's been a while.

Leo frowned, confused.

Don't worry. It's not so I can pry, the follow up text said. I really just want to take one of my kids out to dinner.

Leo stared at his phone. Everything in him was forcing him to say no. His apartment was much comfortable, and at least he didn't have to deal with a sea of people. Okay, he texted back instead. If he wanted things to change, he had to do something out of the norm once in a while. What time?

Maybe with this, the nightmares wouldn't be as bad tonight.

••

Tip #3:

Never deny the fact that you feel down when you do.

"I know. It sounds counterproductive to address the fact that you're sad when you're trying not to be, but believe me, bottling it up will make this issue harder to solve.

Here's the thing, and it's something that's been addressed earlier, I think: that you're alone doesn't always mean you chose to be. Many of us lonely folks want friends more than anything in the world, but unfortunately others just don't choose us. Like I said, it's not that there's necessarily anything wrong with us. It's just, well, how things are, and I get how realizing that on the worst moments possible can drag you down.

It hurt when it finally dawned on me that the girl I've been dating for years honestly thought our relationship is not serious and was just casual. I don't know. I just felt like a dummy. It's like I've been lied to and I've just been floating on this fake fantasy bubble all this time.

But, surprisingly, what hurts more was finding out that the people I cared a lot about, the people I loved with everything I've got, will replace me in a heartbeat. It's by far one of the worst moments. Well, two. It happened to me twice. It just left me kind of…lost. Like, 'What have I been to you all these years?'

Honestly, in each of those three instances, the world became darker and darker to me. I'm replaceable. That's what the girl I loved and the people I cared deeply about taught me.

See? What did I tell ya? It happens on the worst moments possible.

I tried to play it off. I kept thinking that I'm not a six year old that needs to feel hurt for what other people said. I kept denying it over and over, and that's why now I'm having a hard time trusting anyone. In my eyes, they're all the same, all of them. I know it's wrong. I tried to dig a hole I can bury everything in. You know, everything toxic. I was able to hide it for some time, but then I ended up falling into it, and now I can't get out.

That's why you should never ignore sadness when it's there; it becomes your conqueror."

Quite honestly, spending a day with his mother running errands felt…strange. The whole day, it felt as if he was spending time with a person he only knew superficially. He knew that wasn't true; most of his life he had been around her. She was the only one he knew the best.

Still, it didn't feel that way. It hadn't lately.

In all fairness, gaps like that had existed between him and other members of his ever since he came back. Those only grew wider the more they told him stories of things that happened when he was gone, because these made it apparent that life had moved on for them while everything stopped for him.

Leo looked out the window as his mother happily chattered away about Kira's third visit to Centium City. He couldn't let his captors have the final victory. He couldn't let them be right in saying they could break him.

Tasha eventually noticed that Leo had become quiet and distant, so she stopped talking for a stretch of time. Her heart sank as she glanced at him through the side view mirror. He seemed so tired and hopeless. She knew he felt alone. It probably didn't help that all day, she had been talking nonstop about Kira.

She hesitated at first when a question came to mind. Then, "Honey."

"Yeah, Mom."

"When Kira was born, did you…feel like I replaced you?"

"Mom. Please. It's not a question you're gonna like the answer to," Leo said, his tone the same as earlier. "I love you too much to hurt you. Please don't make me answer."

Tasha nodded, but from that she knew: she was one of the people who had hurt him, too. That realization crushed everything within her.

Still, she tried to maintain her positivity. There was no use exasperating him over something neither of them have any control over now. So, she redirected their conversation into something much lighter. "You know, Grandpa and Grandma's thinking of having Esmeralda restored," she noted with a small smile.

"Oh yeah?" Leo said. "Why? I thought they wanted to sell it?"

"They did, but they said they'd rather spend a bit on it to get it fixed and decent than just give up on it," she said. "It may not be like the other Ferraris today, but that car still holds some value."

"Hm, I guess so. It really is a nice car. If Grandma or Grandpa takes it to a good body shop, I'm sure it'd up the market value when they decide to sell it later."

"I don't think they're thinking of selling it anymore, sweetheart."

"Why not?"

"Because, they know how much that car means to me." Tasha sighed contentedly. "I really love that car."

"You do?"

"Mm-hm." Because it's the car that your grandparents used to take me to the hospital the night I had you. "I do. I really do."

Tip #4:

Set low expectations.

"There will come times when potential friends will come into your life. If they're really good and actually decide to stay, good! Now you're out of the Lone Wolf club! However, if the ones that crossed paths with you are a little vague when it comes to what kind of friend they'd be then this tip is exactly for you.

Almost everyone in our planet would agree that disappointments are one of the hardest things to deal with, especially if it's another person who disappointed you. It's tough. You think they'd be one way, but then they'd turn out to be another. It's frustrating at the very least, heartbreaking at most.

That's why readjusting your expectations when it comes to people makes living life a lot less lonelier. If you set the bar low, they don't really disappoint you anymore. If they leave you out when they make plans to go out, it's okay – you didn't expect an invite anyways. If they're always too busy for you, it's alright, because you knew that and had already filled you schedule with something else. If they leave and don't come back, it's fine. You knew that their promise will die as soon as they take the first step out the door. Why wouldn't it? It's the same as the other promises they've told you, and they've broken so many that there's a graveyard of it already.

Here's a sub-tip, if you may: keep certain people at arm's length. It's better to be struggling and friendless than struggling and have a crowd of people around you that have no desire to save you."

Leo sat on the bathroom floor, a spectrum of pills erratically scattered all around him. His sobs reverberated within the darkened walls of the small room and echoed out to the rest of his apartment. His right arm, filled with surgery scars both old and fresh, was numb again. He clutched tightly at it with his left hand. He just wanted to feel something, anything, but he couldn't. It felt as if there was nothing there. His brain's only reminder that it still existed was the unbearable, stabbing pain that originated from his shoulder up to his neck all the way to the back of his skull.

He neither heard the front door when it cautiously squeaked open nor noticed the footsteps that approached him. He didn't hear his older sister calling out his name either. His ears were stopped up by the deafening sound of his never ending agony, and that was all that filled his senses.

"Leo?" Bree tried again as she turned the corner. She stopped, Chase and Skylar automatically stopping behind her, when she saw her younger brother and the state he was in. Upon a sympathetic and familiar instinct, she rushed towards him, putting aside the lunch they were going to surprise him with. "Leo, what…" she said, but couldn't say anything else as she took in the pitiful sight.

"I can't feel my arm. It's – it's acting up again," Leo sobbed. He glanced at the floor around him. "I don't know which is which. They all look the same to me now. I don't know which one will kill the pain."

Bree looked upon him with a heavy heart, while Chase and Skylar watched helplessly.

Leo lifted his eyes towards his sister's. He shook his head. "I don't know what to do," he said.

Bree embraced him tightly when she saw loneliness in its purest and cruelest form in his eyes. Soon after, Chase came towards them and embraced his brother, too. I'm sorry, Leo, Bree thought in regret. I'm sorry we broke our promise.

Tip #5:

Laugh in your loneliness.

"I heard that phrase from a song once, and I think it's very appropriate. The fact is, at times we just can't do anything about our situation. Like I said, it's not that we're making it a career to be alone. We do try to get out of this, I don't know, social category that we're in? We do! But unfortunately, it takes a while. It may even take a lifetime.

That's why it's important, I think, to learn how to find something positive among the mire of negatives while you wait for a change. Find something that makes you happy. I can't really cite some suggestions because what makes me happy may not be what makes you happy and vice versa.

I'll give you an example, though. Whenever I'm frustrated or anxious, there's a house about twenty-five minutes by bike from our place that I go to. It looks like a miniature log cabin, weather-damaged, but it's pretty. It's kind of idyllic. What brings me there is the sight. If you go in the back, you'll get a perfect view of the Pacific. It's just so beautiful and quiet. I can think clearly when I'm there. Plus, though I technically am, it doesn't feel like I'm alone.

It's got to be my favorite spot on Earth.

It does help, you know. When you surround yourself with something extraordinary, you feel a little better."

"Surprise!"

Leo looked around the room, at the faces of his family members. They were all smiling (save for Douglas, who seemed a bit uncomfortable). His parents, his siblings, his cousin, and two acquaintances—they all looked genuinely glad to see him.

He didn't know why.

The smiles became somewhat strained, and they gradually began looking as uneasy as Douglas the longer he stared speechlessly and blankly at them. "Surprise?" Adam tried again.

Kira struggled against her father's grasp and so had to be put down to the floor. She toddled over to her older brother as soon as her feet touched the ground and then put her hands up to him once she reached him.

Leo blinked. Then, he picked her up, placing her on his more stable side. "What are you guys doing?" he asked his family, sincerely puzzled.

"It's a Welcome Home party for you, sweetheart," Tasha said with a hopeful smile. "Since you came, we've never done anything to welcome you back."

"This is just to let you know how happy we are to see you," Donald said. His siblings conceded by nodding.

Seeing the unreadable expression on her son's face, Tasha asked, "Is that okay?"

Leo thought about it. Was it okay? "Yeah," he said after a moment. "I guess so."

"Great." Tasha pointed towards the middle seat. "Shall we?" she asked.

Though still lost, Leo came over and sat down. His parents took the seats on either side of him, while the others took their own spots. As they began their own conversations, he was startled by his mother grasping his hand warmly.

Tasha only smiled and didn't let go when he looked.

Leo stared then blinked. When he understood what his mother didn't say, he gave her a smile.

"This is for you," his mother whispered to him half an hour later after sliding a small box next to his hand. "Don't open it 'til you get home, okay? It's from all of us."

"Okay," Leo said, his curiosity increasing the longer he looked at the box.

. . .

It was nearly midnight by the time Leo got back home. He didn't mind. His stomach was full, and, for the first time in a very long time, his heart was merry. He hoped these would be enough for a good night's sleep and a better start in the morning tomorrow.

After getting ready for bed, he sat down in front of his desk then pulled the gift box closer to him. He pulled the ribbon loose then pulled up the cover.

Two flash drives: one that seemed vaguely familiar and one that didn't. Underneath was a small card. Chrome one is from us, the blue one used to be yours, the note read. If you watch what's in ours, it might remind you what's in the blue. We love you very much. Then, his family's names were individually signed at the bottom.

He frowned but stuck the chrome drive to a dock anyways after turning on his laptop. A window opened, showing him the only filed that it contained. After clicking on it, the video player popped up.

His mother appeared on the screen, the living room right behind her. "Hi, baby," she started with a smile. "If you're watching this, that means the surprise party we planned for you worked out. If it did, I'm very happy you came. I just want you to know that even if don't know exactly what you're going through, I can see how difficult it's been for you. I'm really, really sorry this happened. If I could, I would go back in time save you from those people. I would protect you from them. I would make sure you were safe.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't there," his mother said, mustering all her strength to prevent herself from crying. She pursed her lips as she looked away to gain her composure. Then, "What I'm sorrier for, though, is the fact that I failed to be there for you even when you were still by my side. I failed to be your closest friend. I was so busy with everything that I neglected to see how lonely you were, and for that I'm truly, truly sorry."

She held up a blue flash drive, the same one in the box. She smiled sadly. "I found this while cleaning out your closet. This is another thing I have to apologize for. I watched what was in this," she said. "All of us did, actually. I showed the others because I thought they should know.

"You made the video in this over two years ago, when you're about seventeen going on eighteen. I don't know if you remember, but it's an instructional video. This is your ultimate guide to being lonely."

Leo glanced at the drive as his mother put it away on the video. It had been so long. He had honestly forgotten about it.

"We thought it's a good idea to create a video to go with it, too. Isn't that what kids today like to do? Make response videos? We thought we should create one for yours," his mother continued. "We don't know how helpful or effective this would be in counteracting all the bad, but we just want you to know how much we love you. In your darkest times, please know that we're here. We're with you. We're not gonna leave anymore."

Leo blinked back the tears threatening to come as his mother took a shaky breath. She then smiled brightly. "With that said, here are five tips on how to survive a not-so Lone Wolf life," she said with a chuckle.

The video faded into black. When it came back, his stepfather was on the screen, his office at Davenport Industries at the background. "Tip number one: Know that you are never alone," he said with a smile. "Though there are lone wolves out there, most wolves travel in packs. They're stronger that way, and most efficient. The leader knows its group well that he notices when one has strayed or had been left behind." He turned his camera to a small collection of framed pictures. Leo immediately recognized one of the family pictures taken at the beach. He was just fourteen in that picture.

"Well," his stepfather continued, "sadly humans aren't as sensitive and alert as wolves. Sometimes we neglect to notice obvious things—and by 'we,' I mean me. I neglected to notice that one of my cubs had been hurt and had been left behind."

As his stepfather went on then finished, and Adam, then Bree, then Chase, and then his mother gave him their own tips, the smile on Leo's face increased in brightness.

For the rest of that night he felt satisfied and braver. Maybe he really wasn't so alone anymore.

Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated.