Listen, this is the last chapter. No alt. endings, though I had planned
some. Any continuations will be by someone else. That someone else can be
anyone (check with me first though) except for a select few, who will be
rejected for reasons that they do not deserve to get their way. I hope you
know who you are. And by the way, I've started a new fic, A Player in
Distress. I don't know how you all will react, but I like it, even if you
don't
I think by this point you know what I own or don't own. It's the 19th (XVIV) and final chapter for christ's sake. And if you don't, I'm very worried about you.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie walked nervously back the halls she had just passed. Logic told her, in the annoying way it always does, that she wouldn't exactly be welcomed back into palace after her lovely speech. She had no doubt about that, but the question was how in the Goddess' name she would convince them that there really was an army in the tunnel below them, waiting to attack.
She her the sound of whispers behind her, and saw Balin and the other men running up silently behind her, talking in hushed voices.
"So you're coming then?" She raised an eyebrow expectantly.
"Are we family?" They chorused, in the way they used to chant to each other when sneaking into an army base to raid it.
Following this there was an icy silence. "Not exactly, any more. I thought we had clarified that. But I'll still take that as a yes."
"Can't avoid family." Balin smiled and clapped her on the back.
"I've been avoiding mine since I was five." Again, an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, we're certainly not going to let you wiggle your way out of this family." He replied, "We're coming with you whether you like it or not."
"Audrie'd be proud of this young'n." A creaky voice came from the crowd.
"Isn't he a bit old to be coming along?"
"Oh, he doesn't know any better. For all I know he thinks you're out bathing and will be back in twenty minutes."
"Audrie's bathing?" The creaky voice piped up once more, and then there was a loud rustling, and a hiss of "The bathing pool isn't that way! There is no bathing pool!" and a disappointed "Oh. Then where's Audrie?"
Audrie decided to ignore that and continued walking. At last she came to the ladder that led up to the way she had come down. Taking a deep breath, she climbed up and lifted the trap door.
Or at least, attempted to. There was a strange heavy weight preventing her from lifting it, so she pushed with all her might and thrust the door open. To find that there was someone standing on the tile. More specifically, the king had been standing on the tile, but had been thrown off when Audrie lifted it up.
Popping her head out, she smiled brightly and said, "What a coincidence to see all of you here! You know, I never would have though I'd be seeing any of you in a place like this!" She climbed out but kicked Balin in the face as he tried to climb up as well, a silent signal that he was to stay in there.
There was an awkward silence as the whole of nobility, all of whom had returned to the ballroom to finish the dances, stared at Audrie in surprise.
"You don't have to be so surprised you know. It's not like I had a choice."
"You didn't have a choice?" The king stood, livid with anger, "You steal from us, you insult us, you disappear and then claim you had no choice but to return? I don't see how you couldn't have just gotten away with all of this!" He smiled slightly cruelly, "Unless feminine instincts cut in and you felt just terribly guilty about the entire deal and had to turn yourself in to the authorities."
Audrie gaped at the King's stupidity. "I'm sorry, did you just refer to me, feminine instincts and guilt all in the same sentence?" She stuck her pinkie in her ear and pretended to try to clean her ear out. "Because if there is one thing I don't have, it's a conscience. Nor do I have what you call 'feminine instincts'."
From below her there came a muffled addition, "And a bust. You really need to grow a few inches in that way." If a glare could penetrate floors, Balin would have wet his breeches.
"So tell me," The king was still slightly discolored, and Audrie couldn't help noticing that he developed purplish splotches when he was angry, "Why is it that you had to return, despite your better judgment." The last two word were acid.
"Well, you know," Audrie replied casually, "There's this army slightly blocking the exit to the tunnel. Otherwise I would have had little qualms with leaving entirely. But you know how it is, one person against an army never works out.
There was an overwhelming silence until the author got sick and tired of so many silences. After this there was a rush of chatter and discussion about the possibility of the truth in this. Audrie started slinking off, rationalizing that telling them was good enough for her. Until someone grabbed her hand.
"Nothing more I know!" She snapped before she even turned around. Instead she found herself being faced by Raoul. "Oh. Oh, sorry. I-I didn't mean to..." She trailed off. After weeks of him knowing her as a lady, it felt strange for her to speak to him as a thief yet not have to avoid giving herself away.
"Is there really an army?" He stared seriously.
"Would I lie to you?" She nearly bit her tongue as the words came out.
He blinked in surprise. "I don't know. But this is so important."
"Look, I know I'm not the most honest person, but I'm really not lying. Not something like an army. Too many lives at stake."
"Then show me. If there's an army, we need to know the number of forces, and perhaps we could find out who they are..."
There was a muffled voice that sounded like "Mphff- Mrf-MHFF!!"
Audrie glared and walked over to the tile stomping on it violently, shouting, "Will you shut up down there already?!"
Everyone stared at her until she explained nervously, "Uh, old friends?"
Finally the king decided to ignore the voices and said, "How do we know you're telling the truth? It's not another part of your plan?"
Audrie took a stab at Raoul's idea, "I'll show you. Or another knight, if you prefer to protect yourself." There was a silent implication that if the king refused he would forever be a weakling to everyone present in the room.
The king nodded soberly but ordered Raoul to come with him. Audrie smiled sweetly and thumped the trap door, opening it neatly. This only annoyed the king more. Particularly when he nearly stepped on Balin's face in attempting to enter the passageway.
"Terribly sorry, young man I didn't mean to step on your face." He apologized before even realized that he was speaking to someone who shouldn't be there.
"Don't worry about it, he gets it all the time from me. At least your shoe is cleaner." Audrie waved the king's apology away.
The king stared at her blankly. "And who is this man?"
Audrie smiled eerily cheerfully. "You mean, who are these people. These people are old friends, like I said before."
"Then remind me what they are doing in the passageway below my castle."
"Can't say, I haven't seen 'em in years myself. That's why they're old." She managed to smile at the king yet glare at Balin at the same.
As she, the king and Raoul entered the passageway, the king saw why she had said 'they'. Around thirty men were loitering around the passageway. Some had begun to play cards.
"Come on boys," Audrie shouted and rapped a few on the head with her knuckles, "Show these to lovely nobles where that army is."
There were a few annoyed grumbles, but everyone rose from wherever they had been and started off towards the exit of the passageway.
The king continued to chat with Balin, who glared nastily at Audrie, who had encouraged the acquaintance. Meanwhile. Audrie and Raoul drifted to the back of the group.
There was the awkward silence of people who haven't seen each other in eight years and are wondering how the other has changed. But they had just seen each other little more than an hour ago. At last Raoul spoke up.
"About that ring you stole, it--"
In the darkness, Raoul didn't notice that Audrie's body had twitched just slightly as he said that, but she didn't wait for him to continue. "Sorry about that. I know it must have been important to you. After all, it was in your pocket, and I know you never carry jewelry very often." It occurred to Audrie how that sentence would be taken and added, "By observation only, of course."
Raoul took this in for moment. "Why did you lie about knowing anything about the Ace of Spades? I mean, you were so offended when I asked, and assumed I was accusing you being a thief. But, well, you were."
"But," Audrie faultered at how to explain her anger, "It was supposed to be in character," She sighed. And then changed her mind and added, "And besides, you didn't know I was a thief at the time, so it was the concept of being accused of something you really didn't know whether I was doing or not. I suppose I was over reacting."
"And your assistant? Who was that really?"
"Me. Rather entertaining really."
"You?!" He looked at her incredulously. "But how-- when did you--?"
"If I can pull off looking sandy blond and a noble for three weeks, do you really think that being a redheaded assistant to myself is that hard?"
The pieces seemed to plunk themselves into place. But there was still one off. "Why?"
"You know George, right?" Raoul nodded warily. "Well, let's put it this way, if I wasn't here right now, I'd be ear-less. And I'd rather keep my ears, thank you."
There was an awkward silence as Raoul took all of this in. And then he felt in his pocket for the ring, and looked to Audrie. "Listen, Audrelinia..."
"It's Audrie. I've never liked my full name."
"So that's your real name?"
"Unfortunately for me, yes." She looked up as everyone suddenly slunk to a wall and pressed against it tightly. Out of habit she did this automatically in time with them, leaving an extremely confused Raoul standing in the open. She grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him to the wall.
"What's going on?" He hissed to her.
"The army. It's past this bend."
There was a clamor of noises past the bend, including two that seemed very close by. Audrie peered around the corner and found herself less than five feet from two men sitting and looking over a map.
"The men are hungry." One said.
"There will be food there. You need not worry. We have them by surprise." The other replied.
"Which one was it that pointed out this tunnel again? Weedy little man, wasn't he?"
"The Seating Arranger. Apparently he was somewhat bitter that his love life with the noble ladies wasn't the best and his wages weren't quite equivalent to what a knight earns."
Audrie started frothing at the mouth. Well, nearly. At the very least she started having spasms and looking as though she was trying to strangle an invisible person while mouthing, 'He's out to get me! I knew it!'. While Balin dragged her away from trying to go out and attack the two men, the king took her spot and listened in for some time.
At last, after twenty minutes, the king nodded silently, and the group of men walked silently back down the hall, until they were confident they were out of sight and earshot. Migrating to the center the of passageway once more, they continued walking silently for some time. Finally, the king stopped and turned to the group.
"Three hundred. They said there are three hundred men. How are we to stand up against that?" He looked at the thieves desperately.
"You'll have us." Balin piped up.
Audrie glared at him incredulously. "Twenty minutes ago, you--!"
He smiled and walked hissed in her ear, "I figure we'll get some sort of bounty for this. Which is just as good as robbing him."
Audrie ignored him, a frozen smile on her face. "And you'll have my support as well. We're not untalented."
"Thirty men against three hundred?"
Audrie gaped in surprise at the king. "Excuse me? There are certainly thirty men, but in no way may you not consider me capable!" She began to shake in outrage.
"You may be a thief but you are no warrior." He replied evenly.
Before the king could even react Audrie slammed him against the wall of the passageway, pressing a knife to his throat. "I don't care who you are, you don't say things like that to me. I have more ability than the knight you chose to bring as protection. You can ask him if how he injured his shoulder in Corus if you like." She released the king from the wall and turned her back on him. "Though I'm not sure if I'd like to protect your castle after that."
The king coughed slightly and turned red in the darkness. Audrie couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. At last he nodded and said, "I believe it would be in both of our interests if we ignored that encounter. But I'll give you this: if you are as capable as you claim, and if you protect this castle, I will dismiss all accusations of thieving against you. In return for the warning, your profits of the theft will be considered a reward as service to the king."
Audrie stopped in surprise. She stood silently for some time, staring blankly. "That would be... acceptable, I suppose. But don't go advertising it." She replied finally, and continued walking.
~ ~ ~ ~
The group climbed out of the passageway, to see an extremely nervous group of babbling nobles. When they saw the king, they started chattering even more. "Calm down!" Audrie finally snapped, "There weren't any assassination attempts going on."
There was a collective sigh from the nobles, while several ladies rushed over to Raoul to flirt (ladies had a tendency to comfort themselves with what they do best: flirting). Meanwhile, the king explained the situation to the nobles. Several men drew their swords violently, and younger pages started begging around for a sword.
"They attack in two hours!" Audrie shouted above the clamor, "We have to be prepared! They'll be aiming for us to be at the end of the ball, extremely tired and having no idea about them. The only way we can defend ourselves is surprising them by being prepared." She looked to the king, "How many do we have here?"
"Perhaps two hundred men?" He sighed, "And pages and squires. But they're not an army."
"But we have something far better than an army," Audrie grinned. "We have thieves. And thieves are trained to fight many at a time. They'll be more use than an army." She winked at Balin. "The enemy will attacking from multiple places, most likely between guard changes. I want at least thirty men guarding each entrance. And kill each man as he comes out of this passageway. I want another ten men guarding my room as well."
"So you can be nice and protected?" Scoffed a knight.
"So they don't decide to come in that way. Do you think I landed into that room by coincidence? There're two hidden passageways in there, and I don't want them left open for anyone. And don't forget to guard the kitchen side entry. I've noticed you tend to leave it unguarded even when you're guarding the front entrances. Here's a little hint: enemies never use the front door."
"How do you know so much about storming castles and such, anyway?" One noble snapped.
"You don't want to know." She replied coldly.
~ ~ ~ ~
By the time an hour and a half had passed, many ladies had left the ballroom to go to their rooms for safety. But Audrie couldn't help grinning as she saw several 'large boned' ladies glaring nastily at nothing in particular and carrying 'large objects of significant weight'. Such as chairs. And fireplace pokers, some of which they had been heating in the fireplaces. They all happened to remind the thieves of their mothers, an image more terrifying than any army.
Audrie paced the room, until an awful thought struck her.
"That little weasel has gotten away !" She shouted, and several people looked at her oddly. "The seating arranger! He's not here!"
"Listen, Audrie," Gary clapped her on the shoulder, "I know you hated the little bugger for always seating you with people you hated, but you needn't kill him or anything."
"No, you don't understand, he was the one who told the army about the hidden passageway! He's the person who got us all into this!" Audrie protested and ran out of the room.
She ran down the hallways, looking for the slimy little man. Ducking into hallways, she checked each room but found nothing. She frowned as she saw that her own room was still unguarded. But as she ran into her own room, she saw something out of the corner of her eye running towards her. It had brown, oily hair, and his face was a mountain range of pimples. Audrie automatically knew him from his smell alone, though he was only at the end of the hallway and obviously hadn't spotted her.
She realized that he knew about the passageways in her room, and was obviously heading to them to escape. An evil thought skipped happily into her head. She grinned and hid behind her door.
His breathing was heavy and erratic as he came into the room, muttering darkly. Despite this, he was grinning, and licked his lips as he headed towards the closet. Strangely enough, he hadn't noticed that the room was entirely empty.
As he opened the closet, Audrie snuck up behind him and grabbed his neck with one hand, digging in with her nails and using the other hand to pull his hand behind his back, leaving his other hand flailing to grasp something.
"You know," She hissed into his ear, "I'm not like those knights, who have to keep the leader alive to do negotiations or have a fair trial that will be rigged. I just prefer to skip those steps and go right to the conveniently mysterious deaths."
"Can't...breath...!" The seating arranger was turning slightly blue.
"Oh, I know. Do you think I actually care?" She loosened her grip just slightly, mostly so that he could actually speak. "Care to explain why the hell you did all of this."
"Nobles... are... bastards...." He was still slightly blue, but less so than before.
"Oh, I agree. Emphatically so. Doesn't mean I go and try to take over their castle. Particularly not by giving up the locations of secret passageways to enemies. Speaking of which, care to identify who these pains are? I care to know."
Suddenly his free hand wandered to places it shouldn't. And Audrie threw him to the ground and slammed her heel into where most men say it shouldn't. Of course, even though she was wearing her boots and not high heels, he wouldn't be bearing children anytime soon.
He curled up into a fetal position and started whimpering. Audrie nearly laughed until she heard shouts coming from the ball room. She cursed and ran from the room, leaving a weeping seating arranger behind.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the ball room to find it a bloody battle room. Amazingly, the 'well-built' women seemed to be doing more damage than the men who had only their swords. The women would stand over a group of men, bear down on them and glare, saying, "If you don't stop this foolishness right now, young men, you'll wish your mother had never given birth to you! And while you're at it, go thank your mothers for raising you, clothing you, bathing you, changing your diapers..." At which point they would whimper, nod, and back away. The various heavy objects in their hands encouraged the reaction.
Audrie ran to a table and grabbed a wine bottle. After smashing the end of the bottle on the table, she ran over to where Raoul was fighting. Audrie grabbed a man coming up behind Raoul, thrust him around to face her and slashed the bottle across his face and then slammed it into his stomach, breaking it. He groaned and fell to the floor as Audrie ran over to the table. This time she took a full bottle, poured it on one man's head, and smashed it over his head as well. She didn't bother to check if he was dead.
Running through the chaos, Audrie went slipping knives into enemies backsides as they tried to sneak up on knights. She spotted Torran fighting with only a knife against a knight and holding his own, and she couldn't help but feel vaguely proud. She smiled and tapped the knight behind Torran on the shoulder. The knight turned around looking slightly confused and she whacked him over the head cheerfully. She winked at a triumphant Torran, who was standing over the knight's body and grinning. Then she pointed out the fact there were plenty more knights to kill.
It then occurred to her, in all this chaos, that her room had been left available. She began to run out of the ball room when a proud man suddenly stood in front of her, grinning sadistically.
"Ah, more family reunions?" Audrie grinned. "You know I've never been one for family, brother."
"Perhaps." The smile didn't leave his face. "But mother and father always hated you, so it didn't matter. Now, you were the one who revealed this whole thing weren't you. Slept with the Seating Arranger to find out?"
"You always did have a sick mind, even when you were nine and I was four. But no, I stumbled upon you and your little plan on my way out. Coincidence really. Thieves always believe in coincidence. Or at least convenience. Whatever's most convenient works." Audrie shrugged. "Of course, I think it was less mother and father hating me but more you hating me and them going along with it."
"Oh no, they hated you too, for your lack of proper manners and such. But I hated you far more. Not that they know about this. I decided it would be a lovely surprise for them."
"Ah, such a caring family we all were." Audrie sighed, falsely melancholy. "Don't you think so, James?"
"Don't be an idiot. You should've stayed. You could've married and been incredibly well off."
"Oh yes, definitely well off. But miserable. At least this way I'm happy, Jammie." Audrie replied tauntingly, bringing up his childhood 'cuddle' name. "And our little sister didn't turn out so terribly. She's interested in falconing. Perhaps I'll talk to her after all of this."
James never replied. Instead he brought his sword up to fighting position and slashed at Audrie's throat. She ducked barely, and realized that while he had a sword, she had only her knives and a bottle, unbroken, in her hand.
For some time he continuously attacked, smashing tables and other men as she avoided each stroke. The blade swished past her ear, piercing into her shoulder. She bit her tongue and tasted blood in her mouth. Wincing in pain she backed into the wall. He raised the blade above him to strike down.
"Clumsy, clumsy." She muttered, and rushed in to elbow him while he left himself open. "Any decent fighter knows to never leave himself open as obviously as that."
He backed away slightly and she spat blood into his eyes. She swung her foot out to his knees and heard a satisfying 'crunch' as his kneecaps shattered and he crumpled to the floor. She stood before him, as intimidating as Death himself.
"And any decent fighter knows not to leave yourself in reach the enemy." He replied, as he grabbed her leg and flung her to the ground. Her head slammed against the marble floor, and her head reeled for a second as James took the bottle out of her hand.
He grinned and told her, as she tried to get everything into focus, "You ought to die by your own techniques, don't you think? This ought to do fine." He brought the bottle down onto the stone floor. And then screamed in pain.
"You can't do that." She smiled slightly, seeing him leaning over her. "You see, if you don't smash it at the right angle, it shatters it your hand."
She reached over and squeezed his injured hand, as though comforting him. But he screamed in even more pain: she was squeezing the glass further into his palm, and she knew it. Wine irritated the cuts even more.
"People can lose hands that way." She smile, propped herself up on her elbows and drew out a knife from her sleeve. "But I imagine you needn't worry about things like that when you're dead."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie drew herself to a stand with a struggle, and wobbled slightly as she stared at the fighting that continued on. She took a deep breath and headed to the door, this time not blocked by any unfriendly relatives.
She began running at an uneven gate once she entered the halls. Her head still ached though, and she kept on tripping on nothing. She finally came to her room and saw, with a sick feeling in her stomach, several men coming from the closet. The Seating Arranger was there, smiling proudly, and chatting easily with the growling men.
Before she even thought, anger swelled in her. The Seating Arranger had caused all of her troubles. If he hadn't told James where the secret passageway had been, she could have been trotting through the woods thinking of her bounty. But it was all his fault.
And she slipped one of her knives in her sleeves into her hand, and let it fly silently through the air. She almost felt it was unfortunate that he died so painlessly. As the men suddenly looked directly at her, she ran.
Her feet ached as she ran back to the main hall, the knights close behind her. She could hear them shouting obscenities at her and she was afraid to look back to see how close behind they were. Something told her it was too close.
She suddenly turned the corner and found herself in an empty noble's room. She flew around to find herself facing an unhappy group of at least fifteen men holding swords. One of them muttered something about what he would do to her, and a chill ran down her spine.
She began throwing her knives with all of her might, hitting several men in the head. Nearly eight had fallen to the ground when she realized that, for the first time in her life she had run out of knives to pull out. She started backing away as the seven left began to grin at the look on her face.She turned and, before they could barely react, open the window and thrust herself outside.
She could feel the wind ripping around her, nearly blowing her off the roof. She closed her eyes and tried to control her ragged breathing. She looked out to the muddy ground below her, the tiles wet from melted snow as well.
The men began to cram themselves through the window and by the time she opened her eyes again, three of them were on the roof and heading towards her. She smiled placidly at them as the wind blew her clothing around her, and then rushed towards them.
She threw one to the side, rammed her elbow into the next and kicked the third in his 'sensitive areas'. Anything to get them down. She flew into a rage and hit, kicked and bit everything she could. She flung the first down the wet tiles, and he slid down and after a brief flight met the ground with a sickening 'splut'. The other two met similar fates.
Audrie stared at them on the ground for a moment, and then saw two more men standing behind her, and a third coming to join them. She had barely turned around when a loose tile slid beneath her and sent her shooting off the roof. At the last second she landed in a tree that, though without any leaves, broke her fall. And she landed to the ground, she fell to unconsciousness.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie blinked awake to find herself staring at a ceiling. She tried to sit up but winced in pain as every muscle in her body screamed in defiance. She groaned and stared at the ceiling.
An hour or two passed and Audrie started feeling as though she was on a long carriage trip, except at least in those there's scenery to stare at. She was beginning to memorize the nooks and crannies of the ceiling, noting a crack in the paint here, a missed patch there. There was even an odd discoloration in the middle. Several songs drifted into her head to pass the time- only the most annoying of all songs she knew, of course. She started counting, starting from one. By the time she gave up, she had gotten to 6,352. She was beginning to wonder why some countries didn't try this technique for torturing; it'd be far more effective that any iron maiden. She began to wonder if hell wasn't all flame and demons, but rather an extremely boring situation that went on for eternity. Silently, Audrie was screaming.
At last she heard several voices from the hallway. She tried to look to the door but it was out of her view. The voices were quiet and seemed to be taking their jolly time either entering the room or passing buy. Almost as though they were trying to be mean.
At last she finally shouted, "Either talk louder so I can listen in or shut up!"
"Audrie?!" The voices ran over to her and she found the belonged to Jered, Selia, Gary and Alan. They all grinned at her.
"We thought you were still asleep." Gary grinned apologetically.
"I am blood well not. I've been awake for hours. I manage not to die in that fight and here I am dying of boredom!" She made a face as Jered propped her up against several pillows. "And if don't get some company I'm going to scream!"
They talked for several hours, and Audrie was told the list of names of who survived, who died, and who was injured. The only group of people- out of pages, squires, knights, thieves, etc.- who hadn't been harmed whatsoever was, interestingly, the group of intimidating women. Apparently the king was considering offering a few to join the army as a secret weapon.
Out of the groups of thieves, Audrie was surprised to discover that her senile old friend had done some eery damage, and had survived without a scratch. Balin was with the other in the kitchens, and had only ended up with a flesh wound in his side.
When she found out that Torran had been injured she tried to climb out of her bed, but the instant she was on her own feet she crumpled to the floor. Jered helped her up and supported her and, with the reluctant permission of the healer, led her to the page's room with the others.
As Audrie entered his room, she found him asleep, but Alan informed her that he hadn't woken up since he had been injured in the battle. She stared at him momentarily.
"If you don't bloody wake up this instant I'll take a bottle to uncomfortable places." She glared at the boy, whose eyes flew open instantly as the others stared on in stunned silence.
"That was harsh, Spades!" He protested, "Pages never get any rest!"
"Well you won't get any sympathy from me. You get out to the training fields right now. I saw you fighting, you didn't bother to keep your eyes out for extra enemies. That's what got you the injury, fool. How many times have I told you-"
"I know, I know. 'Don't assume there's ever only one person to kill. More always pop up.' I forgot."
"Well I saw you. You've been slacking off and it's a shame to my name. If you don't go out and practice you'll be wishing I was still unconscious."
The boy meekly nodded and grabbed his training clothes while Audrie eyed him icily. He changed hurriedly in his closet And rushed out the door to the training fields.
"And you know him... how?" Gary finally asked.
"I'm not sure you care to know," Audrie smiled calmly. "And if I don't get out of this castle this minute I will scream bloody murder. Anyone care to go for a walk?"
The three looked at each other and finally Alan and Gary claimed they had 'Something to do'. Jered smiled and led Audrie out of the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
She passed through the halls with Jered supporting her, and couldn't help noticing the sad faces and dark clothing.
They wandered outside the palace silently and after some time Audrie had to request to sit down. She sighed and wondered why she hadn't seen Raoul yet. She almost wondered if they weren't telling her where he was in order to 'spare the pain'.
She sat and stared at the snow falling over the frozen mud as Jered stared at her. From the corner of her eye she saw someone coming towards them, and she turned to see Raoul limping up to her.
She smiled and rose as he came over, but crumpled to the ground. Raoul helped her up and she leaned on him. He must have nodded or something to Jered, because the latter man simply nodded and walked off, though looking slightly depressed. Raoul led her back to the stone bench.
"Audrie, everyone's been so worried about you. Even Alan's cat has been haunting the healer's room."
"My injuries weren't that bad." She brushed the concept of worrying about her away.
Raoul stared at his toes for a minute while Audrie stared at him confusedly. At last he started, "About that ri--"
"Who was that ring fo--"
The two stopped and stared at each other. At last, Raoul replied, "You. I mean, that is, it was for you. I... wanted to give it to you to say good bye. Since you were leaving the next day. I was planning to give it to you on Thursday, but you weren't there, and then on Friday, well everything came up and now it's two weeks later."
"Oh... Yes. I had thought you were going to give it to a lady." Audrie turned slightly pink. "I mean, well, to propose."
"I was."
"Oh." She blinked twice. And turned even redder.
"But take it either way. Since you don't have to worry about your fief."
Suddenly Jonathan popped up out of nowhere. "Speaking of which!"
"Goddess!" Audrie nearly jumped into the air. "You nearly terrified me to death there."
"Your mother and father wanted to thank you emphatically for saving their lives. The general of the army admitted that it was an assassination attempt on their and the King and Queen of Tortall's lives. And as a result they have decided to recind their disowning of you. Congratulations, your highness!" Jon bounced away into the foliage, laughing eerily ("Ohhohohohohohohohoho"), sending a shiver down Audrie's spine and making Raoul wonder how sane the boy was. (AN: Sorry for the OOCness, I couldn't help it)
The two stared at each other momentarily.
"I wasn't meant to be a princess. I have to talk to them. Perhaps I can convince them to just leave me alone and let my sister take over and marry a weak little man she can manipulate properly. It's how all proper kingships are done."
Raoul nodded soberly, but stared at his pocket. There was an awkward silence until he finally asked, "Would you at least keep the ring?"
"I never said I wouldn't." Audrie took the ring her offered and slid it onto her middle finger. She grinned at him, winked and said, "Life is always more interesting with a twist, isn't it? This should be a fun one."
~ ~ ~ ~
AN: You knew I had to do a sweet ending, didn't you? Minor note: The reason why I stopped it there is because I have absolutely no clue how it would have worked out. Maybe she would've stayed in Corus and been at the palace half the time and at the Dancing Dove the other half. And when he started traveling, she would go with him and pickpocket people on the street. Who knows. By the way, this is my first fic I've actually completed. And oh my god I talk a lot. Did you realize that this story goes on for over 150 printed pages? In a book that would be at least a three hundred page novel. It's taken me a year. By the way, for a list of my favorite (and least favorite) reviewers, read my BIO (and here's another hint: I provide spoilers and important announcements about future and current fics in my bio, so you should read it). Extra Note: This chapter was 15 pages, 6,352 words. Do you think this means I talk too much?
OWARI (END)
I think by this point you know what I own or don't own. It's the 19th (XVIV) and final chapter for christ's sake. And if you don't, I'm very worried about you.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie walked nervously back the halls she had just passed. Logic told her, in the annoying way it always does, that she wouldn't exactly be welcomed back into palace after her lovely speech. She had no doubt about that, but the question was how in the Goddess' name she would convince them that there really was an army in the tunnel below them, waiting to attack.
She her the sound of whispers behind her, and saw Balin and the other men running up silently behind her, talking in hushed voices.
"So you're coming then?" She raised an eyebrow expectantly.
"Are we family?" They chorused, in the way they used to chant to each other when sneaking into an army base to raid it.
Following this there was an icy silence. "Not exactly, any more. I thought we had clarified that. But I'll still take that as a yes."
"Can't avoid family." Balin smiled and clapped her on the back.
"I've been avoiding mine since I was five." Again, an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, we're certainly not going to let you wiggle your way out of this family." He replied, "We're coming with you whether you like it or not."
"Audrie'd be proud of this young'n." A creaky voice came from the crowd.
"Isn't he a bit old to be coming along?"
"Oh, he doesn't know any better. For all I know he thinks you're out bathing and will be back in twenty minutes."
"Audrie's bathing?" The creaky voice piped up once more, and then there was a loud rustling, and a hiss of "The bathing pool isn't that way! There is no bathing pool!" and a disappointed "Oh. Then where's Audrie?"
Audrie decided to ignore that and continued walking. At last she came to the ladder that led up to the way she had come down. Taking a deep breath, she climbed up and lifted the trap door.
Or at least, attempted to. There was a strange heavy weight preventing her from lifting it, so she pushed with all her might and thrust the door open. To find that there was someone standing on the tile. More specifically, the king had been standing on the tile, but had been thrown off when Audrie lifted it up.
Popping her head out, she smiled brightly and said, "What a coincidence to see all of you here! You know, I never would have though I'd be seeing any of you in a place like this!" She climbed out but kicked Balin in the face as he tried to climb up as well, a silent signal that he was to stay in there.
There was an awkward silence as the whole of nobility, all of whom had returned to the ballroom to finish the dances, stared at Audrie in surprise.
"You don't have to be so surprised you know. It's not like I had a choice."
"You didn't have a choice?" The king stood, livid with anger, "You steal from us, you insult us, you disappear and then claim you had no choice but to return? I don't see how you couldn't have just gotten away with all of this!" He smiled slightly cruelly, "Unless feminine instincts cut in and you felt just terribly guilty about the entire deal and had to turn yourself in to the authorities."
Audrie gaped at the King's stupidity. "I'm sorry, did you just refer to me, feminine instincts and guilt all in the same sentence?" She stuck her pinkie in her ear and pretended to try to clean her ear out. "Because if there is one thing I don't have, it's a conscience. Nor do I have what you call 'feminine instincts'."
From below her there came a muffled addition, "And a bust. You really need to grow a few inches in that way." If a glare could penetrate floors, Balin would have wet his breeches.
"So tell me," The king was still slightly discolored, and Audrie couldn't help noticing that he developed purplish splotches when he was angry, "Why is it that you had to return, despite your better judgment." The last two word were acid.
"Well, you know," Audrie replied casually, "There's this army slightly blocking the exit to the tunnel. Otherwise I would have had little qualms with leaving entirely. But you know how it is, one person against an army never works out.
There was an overwhelming silence until the author got sick and tired of so many silences. After this there was a rush of chatter and discussion about the possibility of the truth in this. Audrie started slinking off, rationalizing that telling them was good enough for her. Until someone grabbed her hand.
"Nothing more I know!" She snapped before she even turned around. Instead she found herself being faced by Raoul. "Oh. Oh, sorry. I-I didn't mean to..." She trailed off. After weeks of him knowing her as a lady, it felt strange for her to speak to him as a thief yet not have to avoid giving herself away.
"Is there really an army?" He stared seriously.
"Would I lie to you?" She nearly bit her tongue as the words came out.
He blinked in surprise. "I don't know. But this is so important."
"Look, I know I'm not the most honest person, but I'm really not lying. Not something like an army. Too many lives at stake."
"Then show me. If there's an army, we need to know the number of forces, and perhaps we could find out who they are..."
There was a muffled voice that sounded like "Mphff- Mrf-MHFF!!"
Audrie glared and walked over to the tile stomping on it violently, shouting, "Will you shut up down there already?!"
Everyone stared at her until she explained nervously, "Uh, old friends?"
Finally the king decided to ignore the voices and said, "How do we know you're telling the truth? It's not another part of your plan?"
Audrie took a stab at Raoul's idea, "I'll show you. Or another knight, if you prefer to protect yourself." There was a silent implication that if the king refused he would forever be a weakling to everyone present in the room.
The king nodded soberly but ordered Raoul to come with him. Audrie smiled sweetly and thumped the trap door, opening it neatly. This only annoyed the king more. Particularly when he nearly stepped on Balin's face in attempting to enter the passageway.
"Terribly sorry, young man I didn't mean to step on your face." He apologized before even realized that he was speaking to someone who shouldn't be there.
"Don't worry about it, he gets it all the time from me. At least your shoe is cleaner." Audrie waved the king's apology away.
The king stared at her blankly. "And who is this man?"
Audrie smiled eerily cheerfully. "You mean, who are these people. These people are old friends, like I said before."
"Then remind me what they are doing in the passageway below my castle."
"Can't say, I haven't seen 'em in years myself. That's why they're old." She managed to smile at the king yet glare at Balin at the same.
As she, the king and Raoul entered the passageway, the king saw why she had said 'they'. Around thirty men were loitering around the passageway. Some had begun to play cards.
"Come on boys," Audrie shouted and rapped a few on the head with her knuckles, "Show these to lovely nobles where that army is."
There were a few annoyed grumbles, but everyone rose from wherever they had been and started off towards the exit of the passageway.
The king continued to chat with Balin, who glared nastily at Audrie, who had encouraged the acquaintance. Meanwhile. Audrie and Raoul drifted to the back of the group.
There was the awkward silence of people who haven't seen each other in eight years and are wondering how the other has changed. But they had just seen each other little more than an hour ago. At last Raoul spoke up.
"About that ring you stole, it--"
In the darkness, Raoul didn't notice that Audrie's body had twitched just slightly as he said that, but she didn't wait for him to continue. "Sorry about that. I know it must have been important to you. After all, it was in your pocket, and I know you never carry jewelry very often." It occurred to Audrie how that sentence would be taken and added, "By observation only, of course."
Raoul took this in for moment. "Why did you lie about knowing anything about the Ace of Spades? I mean, you were so offended when I asked, and assumed I was accusing you being a thief. But, well, you were."
"But," Audrie faultered at how to explain her anger, "It was supposed to be in character," She sighed. And then changed her mind and added, "And besides, you didn't know I was a thief at the time, so it was the concept of being accused of something you really didn't know whether I was doing or not. I suppose I was over reacting."
"And your assistant? Who was that really?"
"Me. Rather entertaining really."
"You?!" He looked at her incredulously. "But how-- when did you--?"
"If I can pull off looking sandy blond and a noble for three weeks, do you really think that being a redheaded assistant to myself is that hard?"
The pieces seemed to plunk themselves into place. But there was still one off. "Why?"
"You know George, right?" Raoul nodded warily. "Well, let's put it this way, if I wasn't here right now, I'd be ear-less. And I'd rather keep my ears, thank you."
There was an awkward silence as Raoul took all of this in. And then he felt in his pocket for the ring, and looked to Audrie. "Listen, Audrelinia..."
"It's Audrie. I've never liked my full name."
"So that's your real name?"
"Unfortunately for me, yes." She looked up as everyone suddenly slunk to a wall and pressed against it tightly. Out of habit she did this automatically in time with them, leaving an extremely confused Raoul standing in the open. She grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him to the wall.
"What's going on?" He hissed to her.
"The army. It's past this bend."
There was a clamor of noises past the bend, including two that seemed very close by. Audrie peered around the corner and found herself less than five feet from two men sitting and looking over a map.
"The men are hungry." One said.
"There will be food there. You need not worry. We have them by surprise." The other replied.
"Which one was it that pointed out this tunnel again? Weedy little man, wasn't he?"
"The Seating Arranger. Apparently he was somewhat bitter that his love life with the noble ladies wasn't the best and his wages weren't quite equivalent to what a knight earns."
Audrie started frothing at the mouth. Well, nearly. At the very least she started having spasms and looking as though she was trying to strangle an invisible person while mouthing, 'He's out to get me! I knew it!'. While Balin dragged her away from trying to go out and attack the two men, the king took her spot and listened in for some time.
At last, after twenty minutes, the king nodded silently, and the group of men walked silently back down the hall, until they were confident they were out of sight and earshot. Migrating to the center the of passageway once more, they continued walking silently for some time. Finally, the king stopped and turned to the group.
"Three hundred. They said there are three hundred men. How are we to stand up against that?" He looked at the thieves desperately.
"You'll have us." Balin piped up.
Audrie glared at him incredulously. "Twenty minutes ago, you--!"
He smiled and walked hissed in her ear, "I figure we'll get some sort of bounty for this. Which is just as good as robbing him."
Audrie ignored him, a frozen smile on her face. "And you'll have my support as well. We're not untalented."
"Thirty men against three hundred?"
Audrie gaped in surprise at the king. "Excuse me? There are certainly thirty men, but in no way may you not consider me capable!" She began to shake in outrage.
"You may be a thief but you are no warrior." He replied evenly.
Before the king could even react Audrie slammed him against the wall of the passageway, pressing a knife to his throat. "I don't care who you are, you don't say things like that to me. I have more ability than the knight you chose to bring as protection. You can ask him if how he injured his shoulder in Corus if you like." She released the king from the wall and turned her back on him. "Though I'm not sure if I'd like to protect your castle after that."
The king coughed slightly and turned red in the darkness. Audrie couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. At last he nodded and said, "I believe it would be in both of our interests if we ignored that encounter. But I'll give you this: if you are as capable as you claim, and if you protect this castle, I will dismiss all accusations of thieving against you. In return for the warning, your profits of the theft will be considered a reward as service to the king."
Audrie stopped in surprise. She stood silently for some time, staring blankly. "That would be... acceptable, I suppose. But don't go advertising it." She replied finally, and continued walking.
~ ~ ~ ~
The group climbed out of the passageway, to see an extremely nervous group of babbling nobles. When they saw the king, they started chattering even more. "Calm down!" Audrie finally snapped, "There weren't any assassination attempts going on."
There was a collective sigh from the nobles, while several ladies rushed over to Raoul to flirt (ladies had a tendency to comfort themselves with what they do best: flirting). Meanwhile, the king explained the situation to the nobles. Several men drew their swords violently, and younger pages started begging around for a sword.
"They attack in two hours!" Audrie shouted above the clamor, "We have to be prepared! They'll be aiming for us to be at the end of the ball, extremely tired and having no idea about them. The only way we can defend ourselves is surprising them by being prepared." She looked to the king, "How many do we have here?"
"Perhaps two hundred men?" He sighed, "And pages and squires. But they're not an army."
"But we have something far better than an army," Audrie grinned. "We have thieves. And thieves are trained to fight many at a time. They'll be more use than an army." She winked at Balin. "The enemy will attacking from multiple places, most likely between guard changes. I want at least thirty men guarding each entrance. And kill each man as he comes out of this passageway. I want another ten men guarding my room as well."
"So you can be nice and protected?" Scoffed a knight.
"So they don't decide to come in that way. Do you think I landed into that room by coincidence? There're two hidden passageways in there, and I don't want them left open for anyone. And don't forget to guard the kitchen side entry. I've noticed you tend to leave it unguarded even when you're guarding the front entrances. Here's a little hint: enemies never use the front door."
"How do you know so much about storming castles and such, anyway?" One noble snapped.
"You don't want to know." She replied coldly.
~ ~ ~ ~
By the time an hour and a half had passed, many ladies had left the ballroom to go to their rooms for safety. But Audrie couldn't help grinning as she saw several 'large boned' ladies glaring nastily at nothing in particular and carrying 'large objects of significant weight'. Such as chairs. And fireplace pokers, some of which they had been heating in the fireplaces. They all happened to remind the thieves of their mothers, an image more terrifying than any army.
Audrie paced the room, until an awful thought struck her.
"That little weasel has gotten away !" She shouted, and several people looked at her oddly. "The seating arranger! He's not here!"
"Listen, Audrie," Gary clapped her on the shoulder, "I know you hated the little bugger for always seating you with people you hated, but you needn't kill him or anything."
"No, you don't understand, he was the one who told the army about the hidden passageway! He's the person who got us all into this!" Audrie protested and ran out of the room.
She ran down the hallways, looking for the slimy little man. Ducking into hallways, she checked each room but found nothing. She frowned as she saw that her own room was still unguarded. But as she ran into her own room, she saw something out of the corner of her eye running towards her. It had brown, oily hair, and his face was a mountain range of pimples. Audrie automatically knew him from his smell alone, though he was only at the end of the hallway and obviously hadn't spotted her.
She realized that he knew about the passageways in her room, and was obviously heading to them to escape. An evil thought skipped happily into her head. She grinned and hid behind her door.
His breathing was heavy and erratic as he came into the room, muttering darkly. Despite this, he was grinning, and licked his lips as he headed towards the closet. Strangely enough, he hadn't noticed that the room was entirely empty.
As he opened the closet, Audrie snuck up behind him and grabbed his neck with one hand, digging in with her nails and using the other hand to pull his hand behind his back, leaving his other hand flailing to grasp something.
"You know," She hissed into his ear, "I'm not like those knights, who have to keep the leader alive to do negotiations or have a fair trial that will be rigged. I just prefer to skip those steps and go right to the conveniently mysterious deaths."
"Can't...breath...!" The seating arranger was turning slightly blue.
"Oh, I know. Do you think I actually care?" She loosened her grip just slightly, mostly so that he could actually speak. "Care to explain why the hell you did all of this."
"Nobles... are... bastards...." He was still slightly blue, but less so than before.
"Oh, I agree. Emphatically so. Doesn't mean I go and try to take over their castle. Particularly not by giving up the locations of secret passageways to enemies. Speaking of which, care to identify who these pains are? I care to know."
Suddenly his free hand wandered to places it shouldn't. And Audrie threw him to the ground and slammed her heel into where most men say it shouldn't. Of course, even though she was wearing her boots and not high heels, he wouldn't be bearing children anytime soon.
He curled up into a fetal position and started whimpering. Audrie nearly laughed until she heard shouts coming from the ball room. She cursed and ran from the room, leaving a weeping seating arranger behind.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie entered the ball room to find it a bloody battle room. Amazingly, the 'well-built' women seemed to be doing more damage than the men who had only their swords. The women would stand over a group of men, bear down on them and glare, saying, "If you don't stop this foolishness right now, young men, you'll wish your mother had never given birth to you! And while you're at it, go thank your mothers for raising you, clothing you, bathing you, changing your diapers..." At which point they would whimper, nod, and back away. The various heavy objects in their hands encouraged the reaction.
Audrie ran to a table and grabbed a wine bottle. After smashing the end of the bottle on the table, she ran over to where Raoul was fighting. Audrie grabbed a man coming up behind Raoul, thrust him around to face her and slashed the bottle across his face and then slammed it into his stomach, breaking it. He groaned and fell to the floor as Audrie ran over to the table. This time she took a full bottle, poured it on one man's head, and smashed it over his head as well. She didn't bother to check if he was dead.
Running through the chaos, Audrie went slipping knives into enemies backsides as they tried to sneak up on knights. She spotted Torran fighting with only a knife against a knight and holding his own, and she couldn't help but feel vaguely proud. She smiled and tapped the knight behind Torran on the shoulder. The knight turned around looking slightly confused and she whacked him over the head cheerfully. She winked at a triumphant Torran, who was standing over the knight's body and grinning. Then she pointed out the fact there were plenty more knights to kill.
It then occurred to her, in all this chaos, that her room had been left available. She began to run out of the ball room when a proud man suddenly stood in front of her, grinning sadistically.
"Ah, more family reunions?" Audrie grinned. "You know I've never been one for family, brother."
"Perhaps." The smile didn't leave his face. "But mother and father always hated you, so it didn't matter. Now, you were the one who revealed this whole thing weren't you. Slept with the Seating Arranger to find out?"
"You always did have a sick mind, even when you were nine and I was four. But no, I stumbled upon you and your little plan on my way out. Coincidence really. Thieves always believe in coincidence. Or at least convenience. Whatever's most convenient works." Audrie shrugged. "Of course, I think it was less mother and father hating me but more you hating me and them going along with it."
"Oh no, they hated you too, for your lack of proper manners and such. But I hated you far more. Not that they know about this. I decided it would be a lovely surprise for them."
"Ah, such a caring family we all were." Audrie sighed, falsely melancholy. "Don't you think so, James?"
"Don't be an idiot. You should've stayed. You could've married and been incredibly well off."
"Oh yes, definitely well off. But miserable. At least this way I'm happy, Jammie." Audrie replied tauntingly, bringing up his childhood 'cuddle' name. "And our little sister didn't turn out so terribly. She's interested in falconing. Perhaps I'll talk to her after all of this."
James never replied. Instead he brought his sword up to fighting position and slashed at Audrie's throat. She ducked barely, and realized that while he had a sword, she had only her knives and a bottle, unbroken, in her hand.
For some time he continuously attacked, smashing tables and other men as she avoided each stroke. The blade swished past her ear, piercing into her shoulder. She bit her tongue and tasted blood in her mouth. Wincing in pain she backed into the wall. He raised the blade above him to strike down.
"Clumsy, clumsy." She muttered, and rushed in to elbow him while he left himself open. "Any decent fighter knows to never leave himself open as obviously as that."
He backed away slightly and she spat blood into his eyes. She swung her foot out to his knees and heard a satisfying 'crunch' as his kneecaps shattered and he crumpled to the floor. She stood before him, as intimidating as Death himself.
"And any decent fighter knows not to leave yourself in reach the enemy." He replied, as he grabbed her leg and flung her to the ground. Her head slammed against the marble floor, and her head reeled for a second as James took the bottle out of her hand.
He grinned and told her, as she tried to get everything into focus, "You ought to die by your own techniques, don't you think? This ought to do fine." He brought the bottle down onto the stone floor. And then screamed in pain.
"You can't do that." She smiled slightly, seeing him leaning over her. "You see, if you don't smash it at the right angle, it shatters it your hand."
She reached over and squeezed his injured hand, as though comforting him. But he screamed in even more pain: she was squeezing the glass further into his palm, and she knew it. Wine irritated the cuts even more.
"People can lose hands that way." She smile, propped herself up on her elbows and drew out a knife from her sleeve. "But I imagine you needn't worry about things like that when you're dead."
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie drew herself to a stand with a struggle, and wobbled slightly as she stared at the fighting that continued on. She took a deep breath and headed to the door, this time not blocked by any unfriendly relatives.
She began running at an uneven gate once she entered the halls. Her head still ached though, and she kept on tripping on nothing. She finally came to her room and saw, with a sick feeling in her stomach, several men coming from the closet. The Seating Arranger was there, smiling proudly, and chatting easily with the growling men.
Before she even thought, anger swelled in her. The Seating Arranger had caused all of her troubles. If he hadn't told James where the secret passageway had been, she could have been trotting through the woods thinking of her bounty. But it was all his fault.
And she slipped one of her knives in her sleeves into her hand, and let it fly silently through the air. She almost felt it was unfortunate that he died so painlessly. As the men suddenly looked directly at her, she ran.
Her feet ached as she ran back to the main hall, the knights close behind her. She could hear them shouting obscenities at her and she was afraid to look back to see how close behind they were. Something told her it was too close.
She suddenly turned the corner and found herself in an empty noble's room. She flew around to find herself facing an unhappy group of at least fifteen men holding swords. One of them muttered something about what he would do to her, and a chill ran down her spine.
She began throwing her knives with all of her might, hitting several men in the head. Nearly eight had fallen to the ground when she realized that, for the first time in her life she had run out of knives to pull out. She started backing away as the seven left began to grin at the look on her face.She turned and, before they could barely react, open the window and thrust herself outside.
She could feel the wind ripping around her, nearly blowing her off the roof. She closed her eyes and tried to control her ragged breathing. She looked out to the muddy ground below her, the tiles wet from melted snow as well.
The men began to cram themselves through the window and by the time she opened her eyes again, three of them were on the roof and heading towards her. She smiled placidly at them as the wind blew her clothing around her, and then rushed towards them.
She threw one to the side, rammed her elbow into the next and kicked the third in his 'sensitive areas'. Anything to get them down. She flew into a rage and hit, kicked and bit everything she could. She flung the first down the wet tiles, and he slid down and after a brief flight met the ground with a sickening 'splut'. The other two met similar fates.
Audrie stared at them on the ground for a moment, and then saw two more men standing behind her, and a third coming to join them. She had barely turned around when a loose tile slid beneath her and sent her shooting off the roof. At the last second she landed in a tree that, though without any leaves, broke her fall. And she landed to the ground, she fell to unconsciousness.
~ ~ ~ ~
Audrie blinked awake to find herself staring at a ceiling. She tried to sit up but winced in pain as every muscle in her body screamed in defiance. She groaned and stared at the ceiling.
An hour or two passed and Audrie started feeling as though she was on a long carriage trip, except at least in those there's scenery to stare at. She was beginning to memorize the nooks and crannies of the ceiling, noting a crack in the paint here, a missed patch there. There was even an odd discoloration in the middle. Several songs drifted into her head to pass the time- only the most annoying of all songs she knew, of course. She started counting, starting from one. By the time she gave up, she had gotten to 6,352. She was beginning to wonder why some countries didn't try this technique for torturing; it'd be far more effective that any iron maiden. She began to wonder if hell wasn't all flame and demons, but rather an extremely boring situation that went on for eternity. Silently, Audrie was screaming.
At last she heard several voices from the hallway. She tried to look to the door but it was out of her view. The voices were quiet and seemed to be taking their jolly time either entering the room or passing buy. Almost as though they were trying to be mean.
At last she finally shouted, "Either talk louder so I can listen in or shut up!"
"Audrie?!" The voices ran over to her and she found the belonged to Jered, Selia, Gary and Alan. They all grinned at her.
"We thought you were still asleep." Gary grinned apologetically.
"I am blood well not. I've been awake for hours. I manage not to die in that fight and here I am dying of boredom!" She made a face as Jered propped her up against several pillows. "And if don't get some company I'm going to scream!"
They talked for several hours, and Audrie was told the list of names of who survived, who died, and who was injured. The only group of people- out of pages, squires, knights, thieves, etc.- who hadn't been harmed whatsoever was, interestingly, the group of intimidating women. Apparently the king was considering offering a few to join the army as a secret weapon.
Out of the groups of thieves, Audrie was surprised to discover that her senile old friend had done some eery damage, and had survived without a scratch. Balin was with the other in the kitchens, and had only ended up with a flesh wound in his side.
When she found out that Torran had been injured she tried to climb out of her bed, but the instant she was on her own feet she crumpled to the floor. Jered helped her up and supported her and, with the reluctant permission of the healer, led her to the page's room with the others.
As Audrie entered his room, she found him asleep, but Alan informed her that he hadn't woken up since he had been injured in the battle. She stared at him momentarily.
"If you don't bloody wake up this instant I'll take a bottle to uncomfortable places." She glared at the boy, whose eyes flew open instantly as the others stared on in stunned silence.
"That was harsh, Spades!" He protested, "Pages never get any rest!"
"Well you won't get any sympathy from me. You get out to the training fields right now. I saw you fighting, you didn't bother to keep your eyes out for extra enemies. That's what got you the injury, fool. How many times have I told you-"
"I know, I know. 'Don't assume there's ever only one person to kill. More always pop up.' I forgot."
"Well I saw you. You've been slacking off and it's a shame to my name. If you don't go out and practice you'll be wishing I was still unconscious."
The boy meekly nodded and grabbed his training clothes while Audrie eyed him icily. He changed hurriedly in his closet And rushed out the door to the training fields.
"And you know him... how?" Gary finally asked.
"I'm not sure you care to know," Audrie smiled calmly. "And if I don't get out of this castle this minute I will scream bloody murder. Anyone care to go for a walk?"
The three looked at each other and finally Alan and Gary claimed they had 'Something to do'. Jered smiled and led Audrie out of the room.
~ ~ ~ ~
She passed through the halls with Jered supporting her, and couldn't help noticing the sad faces and dark clothing.
They wandered outside the palace silently and after some time Audrie had to request to sit down. She sighed and wondered why she hadn't seen Raoul yet. She almost wondered if they weren't telling her where he was in order to 'spare the pain'.
She sat and stared at the snow falling over the frozen mud as Jered stared at her. From the corner of her eye she saw someone coming towards them, and she turned to see Raoul limping up to her.
She smiled and rose as he came over, but crumpled to the ground. Raoul helped her up and she leaned on him. He must have nodded or something to Jered, because the latter man simply nodded and walked off, though looking slightly depressed. Raoul led her back to the stone bench.
"Audrie, everyone's been so worried about you. Even Alan's cat has been haunting the healer's room."
"My injuries weren't that bad." She brushed the concept of worrying about her away.
Raoul stared at his toes for a minute while Audrie stared at him confusedly. At last he started, "About that ri--"
"Who was that ring fo--"
The two stopped and stared at each other. At last, Raoul replied, "You. I mean, that is, it was for you. I... wanted to give it to you to say good bye. Since you were leaving the next day. I was planning to give it to you on Thursday, but you weren't there, and then on Friday, well everything came up and now it's two weeks later."
"Oh... Yes. I had thought you were going to give it to a lady." Audrie turned slightly pink. "I mean, well, to propose."
"I was."
"Oh." She blinked twice. And turned even redder.
"But take it either way. Since you don't have to worry about your fief."
Suddenly Jonathan popped up out of nowhere. "Speaking of which!"
"Goddess!" Audrie nearly jumped into the air. "You nearly terrified me to death there."
"Your mother and father wanted to thank you emphatically for saving their lives. The general of the army admitted that it was an assassination attempt on their and the King and Queen of Tortall's lives. And as a result they have decided to recind their disowning of you. Congratulations, your highness!" Jon bounced away into the foliage, laughing eerily ("Ohhohohohohohohohoho"), sending a shiver down Audrie's spine and making Raoul wonder how sane the boy was. (AN: Sorry for the OOCness, I couldn't help it)
The two stared at each other momentarily.
"I wasn't meant to be a princess. I have to talk to them. Perhaps I can convince them to just leave me alone and let my sister take over and marry a weak little man she can manipulate properly. It's how all proper kingships are done."
Raoul nodded soberly, but stared at his pocket. There was an awkward silence until he finally asked, "Would you at least keep the ring?"
"I never said I wouldn't." Audrie took the ring her offered and slid it onto her middle finger. She grinned at him, winked and said, "Life is always more interesting with a twist, isn't it? This should be a fun one."
~ ~ ~ ~
AN: You knew I had to do a sweet ending, didn't you? Minor note: The reason why I stopped it there is because I have absolutely no clue how it would have worked out. Maybe she would've stayed in Corus and been at the palace half the time and at the Dancing Dove the other half. And when he started traveling, she would go with him and pickpocket people on the street. Who knows. By the way, this is my first fic I've actually completed. And oh my god I talk a lot. Did you realize that this story goes on for over 150 printed pages? In a book that would be at least a three hundred page novel. It's taken me a year. By the way, for a list of my favorite (and least favorite) reviewers, read my BIO (and here's another hint: I provide spoilers and important announcements about future and current fics in my bio, so you should read it). Extra Note: This chapter was 15 pages, 6,352 words. Do you think this means I talk too much?
OWARI (END)