"We need to talk"

Well, that was hardly good news, An thought to herself. But nevertheless, she knew she had to respond to her friend- her fiancé.

Biting her lip, she replied with "Ok, when?"

"after school in the library if u can?" The library? She furrowed her brows, cocking her head to the side for a moment in thought. He had been spending more time there lately- more so than usual. The one time she thought to follow him… He was talking about books with someone else, excitedly chattering away while the other seemed indifferent.

"I can :) Talk to you later Richan"

"see u tomorrow anchan :)"

The girl let the smile linger, before sighing and flopping back on her bed. No doubt this was to further reject the idea of them being engaged. Rolling over, she pouted, bummed and hurt that he was so steadfast on saying no to her. He already refused her once when she confessed earlier in the year, and he didn't seem to have any change of heary.

A part of her hoped that maybe with their mothers saying they were engaged, he'd at least give it a shot… but no, he remained firm on not wanting to be engaged. He even argued with his mother- only for a moment before he gave up in frustration and sighed. An felt guilty for her feelings and hopes, at that time, and still did now. She knew he didn't want this- but greedily, she did. And she hoped he'd come around…

But that boy suggested otherwise.

That boy was the reason Ritsu wouldn't love her. A deep, dark part of her thought that maybe if he wasn't in the picture… Ritsu would finally turn to her and love her. Maybe if she denied him his freedom…

She cringed at the thought, shaking it away. Yes, she hurt- but Ritsu was her childhood friend. They were so close- to wish him harm just so she could be happy was cruel and awful. The very thought upset her, more than the prize of her evil conspiracies made her happy. He wouldn't be happy with her if she forced him.

Maybe one day- if things were really meant to be like that…

Sighing softly, the girl flopped back onto her bed and rolled over, curling up. She already knew what was going to happen, there was no use arguing with it.

An rounded the bookshelves to see them. Ritsu was talking to that boy- a taller upperclassman with black hair that fell into his face. The upperclassman saw her first. A flicker of worry- anxiety- shot across his face before he gently nudged Ritsu. Doing as he always did, he turned around slowly- but as soon as he registered who it was, gasped and became upright and nervous. Sweating and turning red and fumbling with greetings and trying to say what he wanted to say.

For the moment, she ignored him, bowing to the upperclassman. "Hello, I'm An Kohinata."

"Saga Masamune." He replied coolly, leaning against the table and looking to Ritsu expectantly but… patiently, encouragingly. Lovingly.

Ritsu seemed to gather strength from that, looking up at him before looking at his feet- sucking in a deep breath- and then looking up at An with those emotional eyes. He was scared and nervous but- but he trusted her. He was going to be honest- she knew very well how to read him- and this caused her to feel a little guilty for those thoughts she had the night before.

"A-An.. An-chan…" He started, finding it difficult to meet her eyes. "I- I can't- I can't m-marry you- I… I l-love… love…" He shyly looked at the other boy, who seemed indifferent but closer, An could see that wasn't the case. He was just as emotional as Ritsu. "I- I love S-Saga-Senpai."

The three fell into silence.

An was expecting it, but still- still… it hurt. She was expecting the rejection, but she surmised she wasn't really ready to hear him say he loved someone else.

Again, those dark, intrusive thoughts came back. Trying to seduce her to follow her own wants and greed- to snatch Ritsu from the boy who seemed blank and empty- but she shook that away.

Even though she knew it was leaving them in suspense, she closed her eyes and took in some deep breaths. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of either of them- especially Saga Masamune. He didn't need to see her at that point, and she honestly didn't want Ritsu to feel guilty.

"I know." She finally responded, calmer than she felt. "I figured it out when you rejected me and… I followed you here once to see why you kept coming back more than usual. When you rejected me, I started putting two and two together…" She drifted off, shrugging helplessly.

Honestly? She wanted to run away- was afraid and sad and didn't want to deal with this anger and frustration of having that boy be chosen over her. What did he have that she didn't?

She was pulled from her thoughts when Ritsu took her hand, gently. His eyes were soft and understanding- they knew the pain she was in. Briefly, she thought back to the few weeks he spent sick and sad in his room, avoiding school. Had they had a fight?

"I'm sorry, An-chan… but you've always just been a friend to me…" He gave her one of those soft smiles she loved so much, and she wanted to punch him for not knowing what effect he had on her. "My best friend- and… I want things to stay like that. I'm… I'm sorry for hurting you, though…"

She was a sucker for those eyes and that smile, and she returned it and goddamn it now the tears were pooling at her eyes. Hastily, she wiped them away. Both boys were a witness, though, and she was not a fan of that, no sir.

"Ri-chan, of course things will stay like that." Nothing hurt more than the idea of losing him entirely. At least this way they could stay together and grow- even if not as she wanted. This she could do, right?

"I- I need you to- to help me with mom, then…" He looked down. "She won't listen to me when I say I don't want to…"

An nodded, hugging him. "Of course, Ri-chan. At this rate, staying in the engagement would just hurt both of us…" They'd be set up for a loveless marriage. Maybe one day Ritsu would love her- or maybe it would be settling. Her mother had told her not to settle, as that left one feeling empty.

"We can tell them this weekend, when we're together again for dinner."

Ritsu was relieved and hugged her again, and both teens felt some relief float off their shoulders. They still had to tell their parents, which was a whole different task in front of them, but at least they were on common footing with one another.

When Ritsu pulled away, he looked at the upperclassman with his own grin- only to blush and look down, as Saga was smiling at the two of them.

"See? It worked out fine." He ruffled his boyfriend's hair, who stammered something in protest. When Saga let up, Ritsu was pouting a bit before looking down again. Gently, he reached his hand out- and Saga was more than happy to take it.

Despite her verbal acceptance, something still strung at An's heart. "I have to go, but I'll see you later, Ri-chan." She smiled and waved- making a hurried escape. She only barely heard Ritsu's farewell, confusion laced in his voice. She couldn't blame him- he was just so clueless.

But seeing them in love- seeing the boy she loved with someone else- happy and in love and comfortable- well, it pulled at her heart. He reached his hand out for him, while she had never been given that. He blushed and stammered, but made excuses and denied her those affections ever since it became clear her intentions were romantic.

It hurt, and she realized this may be harder than she originally thought. For him, she'd do it, though. She wanted him to be happy and okay.

Things had to be okay, but with tears running down her cheeks, she wondered if they didn't have an easy path ahead of them.

Ritsu followed Saga home, reflecting on the conversation with An in the school library. His senpai was quiet as well- and as usual, he had no idea what was going on in his head.

"Do you… think things are going to be okay..?" He asked softly, a bad feeling in his gut. "Do you think they'll accept that we don't want to be married?"

"I'm sure they will." Came Saga's ready reply- though, he wasn't actually sure himself. The few times he had run into the boy's mother, he was given the impression of a stubborn, strict woman. Especially since Ritsu seemed rather sheltered- they seemed bent on doing what they felt was right for him, rather than letting him live.

Rather than voice that, though, Saga pulled Ritsu into his home- into his arms where they both were able to relax- but only for a moment.

"Masamune- is that you?" Ritsu was hastily pushed a safe distance to not be suspicious away, just in time for the door to open. A woman a between their heights was seemingly glaring at them- then him- with sharp, hazel eyes.

Was this his mother.

"Who is this?" She practically demanded, her tone suggesting Ritsu shouldn't be there.

"Um.. m-my name is… O-Onodera Ritsu…" He introduced himself- rather pitifully- before Masamune was given a chance. He wanted to stand his ground somewhat.

"Onodera? Like the publishing company?" She hmphed, but as he suspected, seemed to look at him with a higher light.

"I'm helping him study, and the library was too loud…" Masamune smoothly lied, shifting his weight a bit. If he didn't know him, he'd think he was uncaring and cool- but by now, Ritsu grasped that he was somewhat uncomfortable with the situation.

"I see…" She shook her head, as if ridding herself of such trivial matters. "I have to leave again. Money for the month is on counter." And with that, she was pushing them aside to put her shoes on and leave.

Ritsu let out his own small sigh of relief, before looking over to Masamune and seeing his troubled expression.

Hesitantly, he reached out to hold his hand and give him a gentle squeeze.

When he looked over, he gave him a small smile. He understood better, now, why the boy was the way he was. "I'm sorry-" He was cut off, the older boy pressing their lips together. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around him and let Saga pull him upstairs so they could love and support one another until Ritsu had to go home.

"I love you, se- Masamune.."

"I love you, so much Ritsu." He felt that there was a crack in his voice. Rather than question it, Ritsu simply pulled him closer. If he needed to break- well… he'd be here to support him nevertheless.

They'd do this together.\

It's been like 3 years since I last touched this fic but ayewhattup I'm back. I've gotten into rp and developing my own worlds and stories- but recently felt the desire to write more and I felt like why not continue this story that's still giving me notifs lol

An's reaction/thought process is much like my own when I was a dumb kid in love with someone who dumped me because he was gay (so, understandable LOL). I don't want her to be the villain of this story, but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll always make the right decisions.

Oh yah

There's still more kekeke